Merci Mohnish Bahl; Adieu Ashu!!!

Special note: Its my sincere, heartfelt request to all those in the forum who read this post to refrain from making any derogatory comments or snide remarks and respect the feelings of the author of the post (even if it's only a POV) and the sentiments involved while writing this. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... At least this once!


Dear Mohnish Bahl,

When I first saw the promos of KTLK and then the first epi with you playing Dr Ahmer's role from my favorite show, DK..I was excited beyond belief !!! I don't watch TV serials as a norm and even if I do start out watching I usually lose interest after the first few epis... I've never, ever watched a show from start to end..and I thought with KTLK, I'd be able to change that because of you and the AshNi magic.

I always knew you were a phenomenal actor but with KTLK you went one step beyond phenomenal. I know many fans have written paeans about the way you played Dr Ashu.. Your mannerisms, the tilt of the head, the shy smile, the hesitant laugh, the frown on the face, the pain in the eyes... You breathed life into the character.. But for me it was one step further... You WERE Dr Ashu.. I stopped thinking of you as MB..the actor and would think of you only as Ashu. Somewhere my mind couldn't make this distinction... I was so lost in the world of KTLK and the trials of Ashu and Nidhi that I got carried away..I confused fact and fiction..

And when this BD and single frame problem started I was rudely awakened from a beautiful dream.

I hated it.. Refused to accept it at first and then when it became more and more glaring, began to feel disillusioned and sad, prompting me to quit the show altogether.. I tried a couple of times to do so, but was never successful.. I always came back... However much I cursed, ranted, raged.. against the BDs, separate frames, the story, the tracks.. I couldn't stop myself from looking at the clock and reaching for the TV remote when it turned 8pm...

And I asked myself why.. Why am I being so masochistic and subjecting myself to the pain of all this..just for a show? Why am I persisting with watching inane tracks that challenge logic and make me want to bang my head on the wall? Why did I keep glued to the screen from 8 on.. at the cost of neglecting everything else, only to grumble at the end of it?

Now I finally have the answer. And it came to me like an epiphany when I heard the news that you will no longer be part of KTLK and I too no longer wanted any part of it .. This time I would quit for good and not be back. Because you are not going to be back..

It was you and the AshNi magic you created that kept me hooked.. your sheer screen presence would pull me back like a powerful magnet and I would wait each day to finish my chores before 8 and make sure to engage my daughter in some activity that would keep her busy for the next half hour , so that I could watch KTLK and you uninterrupted. And on the days when Ashu would not appear in the first few mins I would mentally switch off and wait for you to come and my goofy grin and dreamy smile would make an appearance along with you...

I know I may have said some things in anger, that I had felt were justified at the time, heck, I had even suggested they replace you if you were not comfortable doing certain scenes... But I guess I only played to the maxim.. You always hurt the people you love, and are in turn hurt by them.. Because only they have that power to do so...

And I so loved you... Dr Ashu. I dreamed about AshNi..wrote FFS about them.. Because of the inspiration I drew. Like an ordinary being inspired to write a beautiful poem at a glimpse of immense beauty or an artist compelled to paint a sketch when he sees something that moves him to act .. transferring his sight into action and creating art...

That's how I felt when I laid eyes on AshNi.. They were so beautiful, so sublime, so extraordinary, almost divine... That I felt prompted to do something I've never done... Write FFs... And pages and pages of it, and each time I felt ...this is it.. I can't write anymore, my brains are frozen, my mind is numb, my creativity is dead ... I would look at AshNi again and my writers block would dissolve in a blur and I would find myself typing frantically...

No show has fixated me so much and no screen couple has fired my imagination so much as much as AshNi. I know it's embarrassing for you to hear all this, because you are you..Mohnish Bahl and Ashu is just a character, but that speaks volumes for your talent... You have proved your mettle before in various roles but I think this one will be remembered for a long, long time... Because of the way you played Ashu.

For me... There can be no other Ashu.. You have made him so iconic, you have breathed life into him in such a way, that the mind refuses to accept anyone just walking in and taking over. Physical replacement may be very easy, its just a matter of another actor walking in , but whoever it is will face a very challenging task of replacing you in the hearts and minds of viewers...

But then life goes on.. And the show must go on and good times are short and memories even shorter. And if I have to shake up my optimistic side (that seems dead and buried) ... I can only see one good thing that'll come out of this.. It will cure me of my obsession, my addiction, my craze, my nonsensical involvement, and pull my feet back to the ground, wipe my addled head from dreams and slap me back to harsh reality.. Which is a good thing, for me, at least!!

Again I remind myself that you are Mohnish Bahl.. So, albeit with a heavy heart, have to let you go..I wish you all the best in your future and Godspeed on your recovery.

Thank you once again for making me fall in love...for letting me experience that beautiful, warm feeling, for having me forget the world and all that's happening around me for those few precious moments when I was immersed... In the show, in AshNi and you...

Thank you, Mohnish Bahl!!!! Goodbye, Ashu!!!!

Lizzie that was beautiful...heartfelt...u said everything i had in my mind...don't know abt the others...for me too Ashu is MB...no one else...i too have stopped watching since yesterday and will not watch again...the forum is dear to me...so i come back here and put my little views across and go...

Dear Lizzie, you have written very well and exact what i was feeling for the best screen jodi till date.
I too never got glued to t.v. like this before KTLK.
I love ASHNI and for me ASHNI means(Mohnish behl and Krithika Kamra).
Really as you said It is very difficult for the new person to replace hearts and minds of viewers.
But then life goes on.. And the show must go on and good times are short and memories even shorter.
Thank you, Mohnish Bahl!!!! Goodbye, Ashu!!!!
Thank you lizzie for ur great and wonderful fan fic .

Beautifully written.

@ Sunmeera: Yes..for the first time I'm facing the repurcussions of getting emotionally attached to a show and so soon! Lesson learnt big time!!

@Vas: I will keep popping up like hot toast in the forum (this is one addiction i haven't been able to get rid of!😆) But its deffo goodbye to the show for me! 😭 Unless MB returns ..

You have so beautifully put up --- the love, affection and agony...

these are truly the feelings coming from the depths of the heart.

please send MB, RS, Sneha, who ever is concerned..

All the illogical twists, ugly turns, BD, character assassination...everything was bearable just for the single glimpse of brilliance shown by MB and KK together.

MB has given the life to Ashutosh. I have visualized MB while writing passionate moments of Ashutosh in the OSs...how much ever half baked ones they could be, now writing or thinking of Ashutosh is impossible for me.

Hope every thing comes to normal.

I dont know Iam feeling bad to leave KTLK or IF more. Both are intertwined.

beautiful...Lizzi...tears rolling down my eyes...can't say anything more dear...
me too shattered emotionally...
since yesterday...the moment i got this news of MB quitting the show...can't cocentrate on anything ..

MADE ME CRY REALLY...CAN NT SAY BYE TO MB AKA ASHU...NEVER!

@Mudra: Yes..I too cannot write FFs anymore..I always thought of MB as my Ashu...my AshMan..and with him gone..my FF goes too..Sorry to everyone who expect me to write..sorry if its a blow..but without the inspiration, my creativity is dead...