Posted:
BAKWAAS TIMES
Latest news from KTKP sets... folks...
It seems the formidable and scary age- gap issue is all set to reach new heights with reports coming in that the male lead, Handsomeji does not look old enough to substantiate the difference and make the show viable... Our reporter caught up with the CVs discussing this latest stumbling block in the track of their show and we at BT were fortunate enough to be privy to their brain-storming session.
Akalgayab Bhejagul is in deep discussion with 3 of his CVs joined by Handsome and Munni..
AB (beating his Bald head): Abbey O... Kuch toh Socho... Us din woh ladki usko uncle boli...ye kidhar uncle dikhta hai yaar? Isko ekdum raapchik banake bheja tha disco mein..woh chikni bhi lattoo ho gayi thi is ke upar!!!! Kitna phone aaya mereko Maaloom? Aisa dialog likhne ke pehle thoda sochneka nahi kya? Woh Aunty ko leke aaya usko uncle bolne ke liye!!!
CV 1: Sir sorry sir... Sir I have an idea... Let's change Handsomeji's image completely ...we will make him look old..really old...then even Munni can call him uncle! After all..he's her surrogate uncle only na?
CV 2: (terribly excited)... Yes sir..we can have BG playing this track when they come on screen together: (singing)...o mama, o mama, o mama, mama, mama...gharwale khaye chakkar..aisa hai apna chakkar...chakkar mein tum nahi aana..pyare mama..!!!
Dr Handsome: (sputtering in protest): But but..this is supposed to be a mature love story... How can you have the man being her uncle?
AB: Abbey ae...Fair and Lovely!!!! Chup kar! Terese kaun poochta hai re?
(Turning to CVs)... Kya raapchik idea hai..👏. Abhi bol usko kaisa mamu bananeka?
CV 3: (eagerly) Sir , sir... first we will colour his hair grey...that will make him look buddha!
Handsome: But..but... These days even people in their sixties have black hair... Colouring hair to hide age is the norm..you're talking about colouring hair to enhance age?
AB: Abbey phirse bola tu? Mr Universe... Tereko kya bola main? Tu khaali aaine mein apna raapchik thobda dekhte reh! Idhar beech mein shaanpatti mat kar..kya?
CV 1:(excitedly) Sir, sir... We will colour his hair and make him wear horn rimmed glasses..that will make him look really old!
CV 2: And Sir..Saath mein..we can give him a walking stick also...
CV3 : And sir we will add wrinkles to his make up... That will make it look so natural!
CV 1: And sir sir... Ye mera idea hai sir... Remember Munni was so caring towards him when he had an accident? People liked it so much... I think we should give him a permanent disease..like angina, or arthritis! Then she will be taking care of him all the time..TRPs will sky-rocket!
AB: Hayyla... Sahi... Ekdum jhakaas... Abhi thoda research kar arthritis ke bare mein! Mereko ekdum jhakaas laga Baap! CV 1 tereko next mahine se bonus... Tera Tankha 5 Rupya jyaada !
Cv 1 (brokenly).:.. Thank you sir (smirking at 2 and 3 who look upset)
Handsome: But but I'm supposed to be only 42.,, how can you make me age like this so quickly? 😕
CV 2: (not to be outdone ... With a flourish producing an enormous book on the habits of the elderly,) : Sir Maine ye book poora research kiya hai... We can give him this disease called premature ageing.. Issme na aadmi ko jawaani mein hi budhape ka symptoms aane lagta hai... And our show will get so much credibility for discussing important disorders like this! Humara Alzheimer's wala epi ko kitne TRPs mile the!!!
AB: mmm.. Aisa bolta hai? chal theek hai... Abhi iske Baal safed kar de aur walking stick de de aur battery bana dal isko!!!
Handsome : But how can you suddenly change a character's look halfway into the show? After all... Munni fell in love with me because I look young, handsome... Why will she stick to me if I start looking like a 60 year old?
AB: Chaila... Phir bola tu? Tereko bola na... Khaali apna shakal pe dhyaan de, akal mat laga! Haan??? 😡
Handsome: Yahan par akal lagane ke liye koi toh chahiye.. Aapka toh akal..gayab hai!!!
AB: Kya bola, kya bola??? Apun ke wajah se tera FB pe puja hota hai, kya? Woh sab ma, dadi, Aunty aur chokri log tere upar lattoo ho gayele hain... Aur tu mereko sikha rahela hai???
Munni: sir I also agree... Munni will not be in love with a man who looks like a buddha, uske ghar mein itna chikna, cute banda hai Rohan jo uske har ishaare pe naachta hai..uske bedroom mein bhi aa gaya hai.. Toh phir usko buddhe mein kyon interest rahega?
All CVs deeply pondering in discussion... AB also looking nonplussed.
And then suddenly eureka! Inspiration strikes!
AB: Haayla..idea! Dekh apun ka problem kya hai ke in donon ka age-gap nahi dikh rela hai, na! Toh isko buddha banane ke bajay...isko (pointing to Munni).. aur jawaan bana dalte hain! Waise bhi ye MBBS fail hai... Toh abhi Iska look change kar dalte hain!
( very excited patting himself on the back ... Calling make-up man and designer..)
Arre ae... Isko na frock pehnaneka... ekdum raapchik..Chota Chota..aur iska na do choti bana dal.. Isko daat mein..kya bolta hai yaar usko..woh metal ka frame laga de..aur isko battery bana dal!!!
Haayla kya ekdum jhakaas idea hai yaar!!! Abhi dikhega na umar ka faassla...saala..abhi sabka bolti band kar dalta hai main..apun ka naam bhi Bhejagul aise eech nahi hai!!!
Latest news from KTKP sets... folks...
It seems the formidable and scary age- gap issue is all set to reach new heights with reports coming in that the male lead, Handsomeji does not look old enough to substantiate the difference and make the show viable... Our reporter caught up with the CVs discussing this latest stumbling block in the track of their show and we at BT were fortunate enough to be privy to their brain-storming session.
Akalgayab Bhejagul is in deep discussion with 3 of his CVs joined by Handsome and Munni..
AB (beating his Bald head): Abbey O... Kuch toh Socho... Us din woh ladki usko uncle boli...ye kidhar uncle dikhta hai yaar? Isko ekdum raapchik banake bheja tha disco mein..woh chikni bhi lattoo ho gayi thi is ke upar!!!! Kitna phone aaya mereko Maaloom? Aisa dialog likhne ke pehle thoda sochneka nahi kya? Woh Aunty ko leke aaya usko uncle bolne ke liye!!!
CV 1: Sir sorry sir... Sir I have an idea... Let's change Handsomeji's image completely ...we will make him look old..really old...then even Munni can call him uncle! After all..he's her surrogate uncle only na?
CV 2: (terribly excited)... Yes sir..we can have BG playing this track when they come on screen together: (singing)...o mama, o mama, o mama, mama, mama...gharwale khaye chakkar..aisa hai apna chakkar...chakkar mein tum nahi aana..pyare mama..!!!
Dr Handsome: (sputtering in protest): But but..this is supposed to be a mature love story... How can you have the man being her uncle?
AB: Abbey ae...Fair and Lovely!!!! Chup kar! Terese kaun poochta hai re?
(Turning to CVs)... Kya raapchik idea hai..👏. Abhi bol usko kaisa mamu bananeka?
CV 3: (eagerly) Sir , sir... first we will colour his hair grey...that will make him look buddha!
Handsome: But..but... These days even people in their sixties have black hair... Colouring hair to hide age is the norm..you're talking about colouring hair to enhance age?
AB: Abbey phirse bola tu? Mr Universe... Tereko kya bola main? Tu khaali aaine mein apna raapchik thobda dekhte reh! Idhar beech mein shaanpatti mat kar..kya?
CV 1:(excitedly) Sir, sir... We will colour his hair and make him wear horn rimmed glasses..that will make him look really old!
CV 2: And Sir..Saath mein..we can give him a walking stick also...
CV3 : And sir we will add wrinkles to his make up... That will make it look so natural!
CV 1: And sir sir... Ye mera idea hai sir... Remember Munni was so caring towards him when he had an accident? People liked it so much... I think we should give him a permanent disease..like angina, or arthritis! Then she will be taking care of him all the time..TRPs will sky-rocket!
AB: Hayyla... Sahi... Ekdum jhakaas... Abhi thoda research kar arthritis ke bare mein! Mereko ekdum jhakaas laga Baap! CV 1 tereko next mahine se bonus... Tera Tankha 5 Rupya jyaada !
Cv 1 (brokenly).:.. Thank you sir (smirking at 2 and 3 who look upset)
Handsome: But but I'm supposed to be only 42.,, how can you make me age like this so quickly? 😕
CV 2: (not to be outdone ... With a flourish producing an enormous book on the habits of the elderly,) : Sir Maine ye book poora research kiya hai... We can give him this disease called premature ageing.. Issme na aadmi ko jawaani mein hi budhape ka symptoms aane lagta hai... And our show will get so much credibility for discussing important disorders like this! Humara Alzheimer's wala epi ko kitne TRPs mile the!!!
AB: mmm.. Aisa bolta hai? chal theek hai... Abhi iske Baal safed kar de aur walking stick de de aur battery bana dal isko!!!
Handsome : But how can you suddenly change a character's look halfway into the show? After all... Munni fell in love with me because I look young, handsome... Why will she stick to me if I start looking like a 60 year old?
AB: Chaila... Phir bola tu? Tereko bola na... Khaali apna shakal pe dhyaan de, akal mat laga! Haan??? 😡
Handsome: Yahan par akal lagane ke liye koi toh chahiye.. Aapka toh akal..gayab hai!!!
AB: Kya bola, kya bola??? Apun ke wajah se tera FB pe puja hota hai, kya? Woh sab ma, dadi, Aunty aur chokri log tere upar lattoo ho gayele hain... Aur tu mereko sikha rahela hai???
Munni: sir I also agree... Munni will not be in love with a man who looks like a buddha, uske ghar mein itna chikna, cute banda hai Rohan jo uske har ishaare pe naachta hai..uske bedroom mein bhi aa gaya hai.. Toh phir usko buddhe mein kyon interest rahega?
All CVs deeply pondering in discussion... AB also looking nonplussed.
And then suddenly eureka! Inspiration strikes!
AB: Haayla..idea! Dekh apun ka problem kya hai ke in donon ka age-gap nahi dikh rela hai, na! Toh isko buddha banane ke bajay...isko (pointing to Munni).. aur jawaan bana dalte hain! Waise bhi ye MBBS fail hai... Toh abhi Iska look change kar dalte hain!
( very excited patting himself on the back ... Calling make-up man and designer..)
Arre ae... Isko na frock pehnaneka... ekdum raapchik..Chota Chota..aur iska na do choti bana dal.. Isko daat mein..kya bolta hai yaar usko..woh metal ka frame laga de..aur isko battery bana dal!!!
Haayla kya ekdum jhakaas idea hai yaar!!! Abhi dikhega na umar ka faassla...saala..abhi sabka bolti band kar dalta hai main..apun ka naam bhi Bhejagul aise eech nahi hai!!!
Current Affairs
