Shaavi dear... This is for you - Page 6

Instead of understanding and respecting each other's POV if we go with taking digs, sarcastic comments, taunts etc then this discussion will take a different route.

In their relationship at every level both made many mistakes. So there is no point in presenting where all Dev did mistakes or failed.

In the cupboard fiasco, he went for ishwari's help but why? Did he went to ishwari even after Sona helping him. Did she even try to help him since it's his first time. Instead of helping him all she did is discussing about her training sessions for Dev with bijoy and making fun of him. Just imagine Dev asking Sona to learn cooking and making fun of her skills before ishwari. Even cooking is a basic survival skill right.

Trust and respect should not present only in our words, it should reflect in our actions too. Along with our rights we should equally know about our responsibilities. Sona always complained saying Dev and his family treated her like a outsider but she ever treated him as part of her family. She accused him saying he never took stand for her even though that's not true but did she ever took stand for him before bijoy, at least when it's not his mistake.

ABt Saurav, I think somewhere along the line Bijoy's constant mantra of Saurav is useless has made Sona lose trust on him. See Son'as problem is that since babyhood Bijoy has told her she shld be the 'doer' and she should lead and Saurav shld follow. Her feeling that she is right and ppl shld listen to her (her teacher ji side, also Bio'y s contribution) is very evident even in Neha shaadi mess when she kind of forced herself into a situation that was not her business at all. Her popping up at school day before when she knew that her Dad was already there and that DEv was responsible for kids also highlights her 'if I'm not around, nothing is done correctly' attitude but this is a common woman attribute (I also have this in tons:) and it annoys the hell out of my son)

Remember when SOna was telling DEv "Do you want to stay home and take Shubh away from me?", he promptly asked, "So do you want to stay home too? Let's both stay home and take care", it was she who did not want to. Sona WANTED to work, Dev did not force her too. Nothing wrong in this at all after all she has built her company with so much struggle but she definitely does not trust Saurav enuff to leave everything in his hands. Frankly Saurav has not demonstrated any skills so far either:((

I did not intend to tread on so many toes.

The limited point i tried to make was that the balance between a husband and wife has to be determined or arrived at by them and them alone and not by anyone else.

I also believe that what a couple perceives as right may not be the same viewpoint that someone else holds.

I feel the writers are more prejudiced towards the ML. Thats why its always him who makes the sacrifices, who is more emotional and is going out if his way to please his mum, his wife and his in laws as well- all of which is usually done by the FL in other serials.

Cheers

Asha

But honestly I felt they did give Erica a good characterization in the first phase when both leads were given fair importance and many nuances. Esp Sona engagement scenes adn pregnancy track, Sona was highlighted well.

It was post leap that I always felt they made Erica very one dimensional. I keep saying that. Unfortunately in the business of showing all shades in Dev, DEv's character was garbaged too and that too very, very badly, to the extent of totally skewing his entire personality and making him out to be a borderline psycho and criminal first and then a completely dumb guy, which was completely uncalled for. And the 'Dev is always wrong' track was insufferable, to say the least. Again, the problem is that the leads have not been balanced out. Dev's good points are not highlighted, Sona's bad points are not either. That's the crib I have.

I had decided that I will not involve in any discussions on KRPKAB, especially as a Dev supporter or Sona supporter. Because, whatever the character is, it is the writer's, director's & makers baby and so there is no use in we trying to justify each character. But Asha, your above words in bold prompted me to come out of my shell and I would request you to not see me as a Dev supporter. Because, my points or questions are purely based on if Sona was a real person we knew, would you still have agreed with what all I am going to post below.

As part of understanding the core personality of Sona, I would like to remind you of 2 Devakshi scenes from the initial episodes. One is their first meeting where they both bump into each other in the market. Though both were walking front facingly, Sona's view was blocked by the covers and Dev also was walking head down looking into the mobile and so the bump happened. Here, aren't they equally wrong? Yes. But, what was Sona's response? She first asks him to say sorry and immediately start guessing things like Dev was busy on the phone with his girlfirend. And later unconvincingly agrees that her share of fault is only 45%. The second scene is the Atta falling scene, where Dev offers to help her; but she being Sona who doesn't like to depend on anyone overconfidently tries to get the Atta inspite of Dev warning her again, and unfortunately trips it onto Dev. There too her initial response was not to say sorry; she instead started putting excuses and when Dev questions her, only then she says sorry. And these traits of not owning her part of the mistakes, of being the overconfident Sona and having the feeling that depending on someone is a sign of weakness, still persists in Sona though not to that extent of the initial episodes.

Adding to these core traits, is her need of Dev constantly validating his love for her, without which she feels that any time she can be disposed by Dev. Many scenes after their reunion has clearly shown this. And I agree Dev is the reason for that, as their first breakup had affected her that much. An otherwise overconfident Sona, was seen to have lost confidence in Dev's love for her and I would say, she also lost confidence in her love for Dev, after the first breakup. That's why she agreed to marry Ritwik, though the decision was shown as taken in haste and as her way to give it back Dev who dumped her. The rest of the story we know. And even now, after 7years and after giving birth to 2 kids of Devakshi, she is still insecure that if she doesn't manage to reach the expectations of Ishwari and in some way of Dev, she will be disposed. My question is, why should she still feel like a fish on the shore in this matter, when she has enough reasons to get assured of Dev's love for her. Starting from the way he constantly stalked her during the Ritwick marriage phase, then the mature talk they had in his office where dev clearly says that she is his reason to live, Dev's breakdown after his deewanagi where he says if he didn't have the responsibility of his family he would have taken his life, he accepting her in his life inspite of knowing that they may not be able to have kids of their own, then pro-leap Dev confessing to her after having Maami's magic medicine that many days during the 7-year separation he didn't want to wake up from sleep, his overpossesiveness after the goons attack, his care & concern during the latest pregnancy track - these all have shown us who is Sona to Dev. If all these is not enough to make her secure of Dev's love, then what will help her, I don't know. And my biggest gripe against Sona is the audacity she showed to tell the teacher that Soha's father doesn't exist and that too infront of Dev and the way she blackmailed Dev to sign the file for Soha's custody. Do you think that if it were the other way round, Sona would have signed that file, without talking to her lawyer and getting Baba's consent? And till now when the makers are continuing in showing her of not having a slight stint of guilt for these two incidents and instead make her keep quite when Dev says how he is guilty for not being there at the time of Soha, it is quite natural that most of the viewers will tend to have a soft corner towards Dev. Because, as sp12 has pointed out in her above post, Dev & Ishwari has already asked for forgiveness directly to Sona & the Boses many times, whereas the same from Sona & the Boses are still pending. I agree that Sona confessed to Nisha that she also was equally at fault and by deciding to give birth to Subh without considering the risks was her way of saying sorry to Dev for hiding Sona for him. But, wouldn't it be more fair, if we get to see Sona asking for forgiveness atleast once from Dev just like Dev did many times and I firmly believe the current Dev really deserves it.

Now. coming to the bolded words in your post, I would say it would have perfectly worked if Dev had married Natasha. The mutual respect they had for each other would have been enough for them to lead a happy married life, which later would have led to love blossoming between them. But in Devakshi's case, it is Sona who brought Dev to the world of love and made him experience that beautiful feeling of being cared & wanted and so, when Dev fell in love he thought the love between them was enough. But what happened is that, the Sona who once said that she came to his life not to compete with anyone; rather to complete him, ended up in sidelining Dev and started competing for Ishwari's acceptance and thus for her position in Dev's life. If for once she had sat and rewinded all her moments with Dev, I say she would not have trusted Vicky in haste and that is what even Erica said in her interview. That she would have sit, talk and sort out the things between both sides and would not have gone with the breakup.

Hope I have written everything I wanted to convey in a convincing manner and that it would not hurt you in any way.

DEv quitting his hard earned business- I never did, never will think is a solution that shld even have been considered. Its plain stupid on so many levels. Not to mention unnecessary. A man who manages 600 peopl in his company can;t manage business and home?? Come on, he cud have just taking his earleir advice and set up office at home at best. WHY QUIT?????

Vicky-wise- Sona has always been blind to his faults. Forget passing on company to VIcky, I was seriously annoyed at her attempts to bring Vicky back home after DEv made it clear that he wanted him out. That too after it was clear Vicky was a bad influence on kids. LIke I said before this version of Sona is not what I want to see bcos she is not the understanding, basically nice person that she actually was. That nice persona is only peeking out once in a while adn for everybody's benefit but Dev's. Dev always gets to see only teacher ji mode Sona. Vicky is one of teh areas where SOna is completely blind.

BTW, I mentioned the point abt Sona WANTING to work bcos I read a comment somewhere saying Dev forced her to work. He CERTAINLY did NOT!

That's why his mistakes are easy to forgive (most of them, at least).

I don't think that SOna is selfish, but I think she is wearing blinkers and she is over zealous like hell often to the extent of putting her nose in other people's business and then expecting them to be grateful for it. That is her single most annoying quality, that and her condescension to Dev. These two things I cannot stand.