Shaavi dear... This is for you - Page 130

Jalk, this is going to be a long post, so please bear with me. One of the things about krpkab is that they used symbolisms and parables as much as detailed explanations and elaborate tracks. They used costumes as an extension of the characters, to show what the characters were feeling, their emotions and moods at that time. Every costume was used with detailed thought process behind it. Ex -- In the beginning of the series when Sonakshi first starts working in IN, her chudidaar tops resemble the dress of a Rajasthani/Gujarati traditional doll. Not exactly, but very similar to those costumes. The reason is that is how Sonakshi felt at that time. That she was a puppet who was forced to come to IN and Dev was the puppet master. But when she started to let go of that feeling, her costumes became more normal. This was what they did with each and every person's costumes. Like Bijoy's. When they first showed him, he was shown to wear cotton Kurt's and pants with sandals. Post leap he is always shown to wear formal shirt and pants with shoes, like he is ready. Asha was shown to wear sarees, with traditional marriage ornaments like sindoor, bangles etc. Post leap, she is shown to wear salwars and only on Saurabh's wedding day shown to wear that traditional Bengali saree. The costumes were used to show the progression or regression depending on what they were feeling at that time. Since the makers had to show time elapsed, yet the characters feeling like no time has passed, they used costumes as a story point and for me that was amazing what they did.

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Coming to the portrayal of Sonakshi as "Darth Vader's long lost sister", that was a deliberate and calculated move by the makers. There is a saying "those who don't learn from history tend to repeat it". Life keeps giving us chances to getting it righ, correcting our mistakes. It is up to us to recognize those chances and work towards getting it right. One of the things that is frequently told is by the time a second child is born, the mother's become experts. The first child you are learning, but with second, you already know. So a lot of the anxiety that one faces with the first child is not there with the second. In krpkab, this was shown with the use of parallels. Throughout the series, the characters didn't just act the way they did, there were lot of times when they stood and behaved like the other person. Kind of walking a mile in each other's shoes. Sometimes these parallels were such that it was the same people playing the same roles, but because of their understanding, the outcome of the parallel was different. In other cases, the parallels was with role reversal, with the characters playing that role which they questioned the most. Like Sonakshi acting like the first born son who is responsible for the family which is what Dev was when the series began. She had to learn and understand what "being responsible" meant for her to realize why it was difficult for Dev to communicate the relationship that he had with Ishwari. And also the guilt associated with him.

The whole of initial initial marriage phase was a mirror of the courtship period from Neha's marriage track till the initial break up in the hospital. Here Sonakshi was completely mirroring Dev the son and Bijoy was mirroring Ishwari the mother and partner. It is during Neha's marriage track that Ishwari first starts doubting that there is more to Dev and Sonakshi's relationship. Similarly, it is with the initial marriage that Bijoy started to feel that there is more to Sonakshi that he knows about her. He had always seen her as a person who was "right". But here she was accepting the "wrong" as though it was "right"(Hopefully I am able to convey what I mean). In that phase(the courtship), Dev at times is shown to be thoughtful, confused etc. Like the halwa episode, where he wants to honor the promise he gave to Sonakshi, but seeing his mother sulking and feeling bad, ends up eating it. Similarly, Sonakshi wanted to honor her new relationships. But seeing Bijoy not accepting Dev or his importance in her life and question, she too started wondering just like Dev was at that time(after Neha's track, before he falls sick). If the sisters were happy with the changes in him, Ishwari was wary of the changes in him. When Dev sits for pooja, she is happy that he did, but becomes angry and resentful when finds that it is because of Sonakshi. Similarly, Bijoy starts becoming wary of the changes in Sonakshi like her keeping the vrat which is something he never thought Sonakshi would do, stay hungry for 9 days. And in turn becomes angry and resentful of Dev saying you and Ishwari are forcing her to do this. Just like Dev was torn between Ishwari and Sonakshi at that time with pressure from Sonakshi to reveal their relationship to Ishwari, Sonakshi was torn between Bijoy and Dev as it was becoming essential for her to reveal Dev's importance in her life to Bijoy.

Just like Dev who falls sick and inadvertently reveals what Sonakshi means to him to Ishwari, Sonakshi becomes vulnerable with the fake pregnancy and reveals that Dev is more important than the absolute truthfulness that Bijoy taught her. I am referring to the scene where Asha and Bijoy come to IN after coming to know the fake pregnancy and meet Dev and Sonakshi outside the building. Ishwari at that time doesn't know the truth yet. Bijoy says that he will go and tell everything to Ishwari including Dev's lies. But Sonakshi stops him and says that it is something that she and Dev will deal with and asks Bijoy to go from there. This was something that Bijoy had never imagined. He was shocked to see his daughter support the "lies as opposed to the "truth he had taught her. In other words, he found himself in the same place as Ishwari when she saw that it was Sonakshi who had convinced Dev to sit for the pooja, Dev became "woh ladka. Similar to Ishwari opting for chula drama, the main objective being taking Dev back to the time when she was effective, where he ollowed her guidelines, Bijoy opted for the morality and self respect drama, the main purpose to take Sonakshi back to the time where she followed his guidelines. The 5 cr fiasco followed by the eviction acted similar to pills overdose of Ishwari. Although it was Ishwari who took the pills by herself, it was the result of the stress that happened that day with Bijoy coming to IN and Dev questioning her. All she wanted to do was go to sleep so that she doesn't have to answer anymore questions put forth by Dev. Here all Bijoy wanted was to expose Dev as the fraud, the bad guy without him having to say it. And it came true with Dev trying to keep the family together by taking shortcuts, to get that approval that Sonakshi was looking for from Ishwari.

Both Dev and Sonakshi were on different plains. They were experiencing different things. In that courtship time, when Sonakshi asks Dev if he thinks Ishwari will accept her, Dev's answer is that "my mom loves you. Why will she have a problem accepting you. This is exactly what Sonakshi thought too in regards to Bijoy. That her father will not have any problem in accepting Dev as her life partner. But only with how Bijoy behaved, she started realizing that her father might not be as accepting as she had assumed. Similar to Dev breaking up with Sonakshi in hospital, she broke up with him feeling that it was because of her that her father lost his home, dignity and honor all of which were important to him than his life. In other words, she felt exactly as Dev felt, that she had kind of put her father's life on the line for her own happiness. The breakup in the farmhouse was as impulsive as Dev breaking up in the hospital. The coming of Sonakshi with 6 months of Suhana was parallel to Dev calling Sonakshi, the day after the breakup from hospital. Just like Dev tried to tell her that they were still related, she came to tell him that they were still a family. If Sonakshi shuts him down saying that they were broken up and she is Dr.Bose for him, she got a similar message from Ishwari on behalf of Dev. In Sonakshi's case, she was the perfect mouthpiece of Bijoy. She could tell exactly what Bijoy wanted/would want her to say to Dev. And that was the difference between Dev and Ishwari. Dev couldn't say what Ishwari wanted him to say to Sonakshi.

Just like Dev who tried to tell himself that he is happy with Ishwari being happy during the initial breakup phase, Sonakshi tried to do the same. That she was happy with the breakup. Just like Dev who became like a zombie during that phase, Sonakshi became a robot whose controller was in Bijoy's hand. She completely froze herself and removed most of the traces of humanity to become that person as Bijoy wanted her to be. A person with absolute morals, someone similar to the sages during Ramayana time. Imagine yourself as a person not allowed to have personal feelings, hopes or desires and think what will happen when you are asked to kill every single dream of yours, all in the name of "greater good. You will become that android person who has lost all touch of humanity. We didn't see Dev this way because he resented what he did. Although the Sonakshi in her resented what she did, the Dr. Bose side of her which was the mirror of Bijoy was overjoyed.

From the beginning of the episode, there was one thing that was shown subtly, but was not considered by most of the viewers. It is Sonakshi's "need to win. For her it is all about winning. The way Bijoy instilled this need is such that, that is the only way she knows how to live by winning. For her, she cannot imagine herself in second place. There is an example that was given somewhere, everyone remembers the first person, Neil Armstrong in that moon expedition as the first person to set foot on the moon, but not the second person. Bijoy firmly believed that Sonakhi would make his dream come true of always being the first, the topper, the winner. But winning and losing is relative, kuch paane ke liye, kuch khona padta hai. What you lose to gain something is more important than what you actually gained. If you lost your leg for winning a race, from my pov, you didn't really win. In the short period you might have won, in this case, you might have got 1st place in that race, but a person's life is not just that race. He will need his legs for everyday, but which he wouldn't have. At that point, that "win becomes shallow and slowly loses it's importance. Have you seen the movie Mr.Perfect. It is a Telugu movie about winning, relationships and love. Do watch it if possible, especially towards the end where Prabhas understands the true meaning of what "perfection in life means.

Similar to Dev, who was reminded of Sonakshi by everything around him, she too was reminded of Dev constantly because of Suhana. Similar to Dev saying, I want to see her just once, to make sure that she is alright and going to that cafe where he finds her badge, Sonakshi came to Delhi. Just like Dev who was hooked the moment he laid eyes on her, she was hooked too. Just like Dev trying to be in her life in any means, first by striking a deal with her employer, and then meddling with Ritwick, she too first used the awards ceremony to remind him of who she is and what he is. When she saw him say we are strangers(she says in plain words, but he says it indirectly by going to Shruthi's room in the hotel in front of her), she couldn't take it. Just like Dev goes ballistic breaking his laptop on seeing Sonakshi and Ritwick together and realizing who Ritwick was to her, she goes ballistic seeing Dev and Shruti's closeness. If Dev sabotages Ritwick's plan of opening the clinic by purchasing the building, she inserts herself in his life by deciding to stay in Dev's building. She gets very angry when Dev tells her to leave, giving her more money. Just like Dev doing all sorts of things, things which were beneath him, she did the same.

The main difference here was what each of them felt about the breakup. Dev resented his action in the hospital. He felt very bad that he had done that. And that made his behavior that of an extremely vulnerable and emotional person, in short "human. But Sonakshi was "angry with her actions, her inabilities, her flaws and faults. Given how different their upbringing was, the way they express emotions is also different. Dev is more of an extrovert, while Sonakshi is an introvert. The way they emote is very different. If Dev tries to push away Sonakshi through insults and talking in a round about way, she does it by becoming righteous and elaborate lying(like she did during Neil track. I.e. create a fake boyfriend all because Dev calls her boring or her bringing Dev his favorite foods for lunch to tell him about Nikki living with Laksh). She tries to project a "morally correct and right image of herself. In order to do that the person has to repress all emotions and by constantly repressing her personal feelings she did become that android character which was devoid of all human emotions. But the rage in her had not gone anywhere. It was a collective emotion of 7 years. Add to that she was putting out the anger of both Sonakshi and Dr. Bose, it came out the way it did. On one hand she was angry at Dev for not having the strength to save her from Bijoy, to stand up to her father and win her, on the other hand, she was angry at herself for not being able to stand by her love, to fight along side Dev, have the courage to tell the truth to her father.

Similar to Bijoy going to IN and telling on Dev, we see Ishwari telling Asha to ask Sonakshi to leave Dev alone. Similar to Dev sabotaging Ritwick, Sonakshi sabotaged Dev in his attempt to move on by installing herself in front of him, in his office, doing all the things she did. Every move of her was to get a reaction from him, to see him engaged with her. All of her verbal wars had the same underlying theme how could you forget me and move on especially when I have not moved on. Only when they have that confrontation in the office regarding Suhana where the truth of Ishwari sending her back, she lost a little bit of her anger. That scene was parallel to the scene where Tina calls Sonakshi to come to office as Dev was lying drunk there. Where they have that conversation and she tells that they should never see each other as that was the best for them. Where he asks her to invite him for her engagement. If Dev had the hangover of having too much alcohol, she had the hangover of too much of righteousness, pride in her upbringing and morality. Too much of anything is bad. There is a saying that in excess quantities, even the heavenly nectar(amruth) becomes poison. And with Sonakshi, her assumption of being "right all the time became her Achilles heel. If Dev fell unable to see his love with someone else, Sonakshi fell from her pedestal of morality when Suhana calls him Mr. Dixit.

What I found with krpkab especially post leap is that the parallels they showed were not linear. It was not exactly only one parallel at a time for what happened pre-leap. For the same character, there were multiple parallels happening based on the role they were playing. With Sonakshi in her role as Dev's lover and Bijoy's daughter, she was in the parallel of that initial breakup track acting like how Dev did at that time, while in her role as Suhana's mother, she was acting like how Ishwari behaved at that same time the initial breakup phase. Just like Ishwari who tried to say Dev didn't need Sonakshi, that he was happy as he is with "his family, Sonakshi tried to say Suhana didn't need Dev, that she was happy as she was with "her family.

In all these, one of the things that she started facing the moment Dev came before her was the "truth, of everything, of her life. And the one effective way to silence the truth is to tell the lies loudly, even scream it over and over. Most of the times, she knew what she was saying or doing was wrong. Yet she said and did those things to get him to react, so that she could tell herself that she was "right in breaking up with him. When you have too many emotions running through your mind at the same time, you either becomes too emotional and breakdown or lose connect with all the emotions in an attempt at self preservation. If Dev went the first option, Sonakshi went with the second option. She was someone who was completely blinded by Bijoy. Just like how Dev couldn't see Ishwari's manipulations before, she couldn't see Bijoy's manipulations later. She became obtuse to how selfish Bijoy's morals, values and principles actually were. She failed to recognize how much self serving his rules truly were. She became like the horse with blinders on. Only from the point of coming to know that it was not Dev who asked her to never to come to IN, she started to take the blinders off. But with Bijoy constantly trying to put it back on, it was not easy for her to remove them. She had to fight for her "right to live and only when she did that, she was able to break that bond from Bijoy.

On wattpad, one of them had mentioned that, Bijoy was like a banyan tree and Sonakshi was like a creeper which encircled that tree. In a way it was true. Bijoy never let her be her own person nor thought of her as having that capability. What he was thinking with Ritwick or any other guy for Sonakshi is that, the SIL would be just like him. For him it was like, I have been carrying her for this long, now it is your(SIL's) turn. Her feet should not touch the ground as she is too fragile. With Dev, he felt that Dev was trying to make her run. And for him that was unbearable. How can his phool is bacchi be expected to walk, especially when the road is not straight. And it was only Sonakshi who could tell him that she herself was a tree in her own right and not a creeper. That she was not him, nor she wanted to be like him.

Another thing that I wanted to mention as that krpkab attempted to provide illustration to the proverbs as well as debunk some myths.

The first myth to be debunked was Ishwari's favorite dialogue -- tumhari khushi main, main khush hun. From the beginning of the series, she was shown to say this many times. Anytime Dev did something and asked her for her opinion about it, she gave this answer. Like the English classes for Neha or Riya starting at Dev's office as intern. In return, she assumed the vice versa to be true too. i.e she thought Dev would also say "tumhari khushi main, main kush hun. And it was true too to some extent that Ishwari was happy with Dev's happiness as long as she had a higher role and a place in them. Similarly Dev was happy doing things or Ishwari which he knew would make her happy. With Natasha, she realized that the place she occupied was needed to be shared. And unknowingly this sharing became difficult for her. She and Dev had been together, fighting against all odds for such a long time, that she didn't realize that the fight was over. That they no longer needed to play the role of partners, but had to play the role of mother and son.

When Dev started to be happy, she thought it was because of her. In that conversation which she has after the breaking of his engagement with Natasha, she says "apneliye chi kuch kar". But when he actually did do something for himself, something that he didn't share with her, she started wondering about her place in his life. And this uncertainty was highlighted by Radharani, through her words. RR effectively misused Ishwari's fears against her and turned her into her puppet. The truth in all this is that each person is responsible for their own happiness. Also one person can only be reasonably happy with the other person's happiness. Ishwari will never feel that kind of happiness with Sonakshi that Dev feels. Similarly Sonakshi can never feel that happiness of Ishwari as the later feels with her children. Only thing we can do is be tolerant and accept things that you might not like but what your loved one likes. And that is what happiness that you can have.

That other myth was Bijoy's dialogue -- jo tumhare liye sahi hai, woh hum sabke liye sahi hoga. Anytime Sonakshi made a decision and asked Bijoy's opinion about it, this is what he told her. It was ok till the time when it was only their family involved in that decision and the decision had a positive impact on the family. But the moment she brought an outsider and said he is my decision, her decision was no longer right for the whole family, especially when there was pain involved. Bijoy was ok with her decision when she wanted to open a company for Saurabh's sake and not tell Dev about it, but was not ok when she wanted to do something for Dev alone. Not all decision of everyone works well for everyone. I can make a decision for my son which can have a negative impact on him. I am an engineer and that was right for me, but it doesn't mean becoming an engineer is right for my child. Just like Ishwari and Dev, both Sonakshi and Bijoy had to learn that not all their decision for each other was the right one for each other. Bijoy was so confident that the moment Dev was out of the picture, he could send Sonakshi down a path of his choosing and make sure that she has a life like him. But like Asha says, Dev is Sonakshi's destination and all of Sonakshi's paths lead to him and no one else. And Bijoy had to accept that. He had to let go of that greatness place that he had imagined for her and settle for an average place from his perspective.