*Season 2, Week 28* Analysis Thread

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Shaavi

@Shaavi

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#231

Reading the spoilers regarding the upcoming separation, I am once again feeling that the makers are using the movie Sweet Home Alabama heavily as an inspiration. What I like the most is in that movie she leaves him citing that she wants to be 'something more' than just his wife. She becomes a famous designer and even gets engaged to a different guy. But since her husband has always refused to sign the divorce document, she comes back to hometown. He ends up signing it and she even proceeds with her her wedding preparations. On the wedding day, just few minutes before the ceremony she gets to know that she is still married to her husband, that although he signed the divorce documents, she herself hadn't. She ends up not divorcing her estranged husband and goes to meet him. There she tells him that they both are still married to each other. He asks her why girls cannot make up their mind and have to try all roads before deciding that the first one was the right one. He also asks why she wants to stay married to him. And she replies 'so that I can kiss you whenever I want' and confesses that he was her first love and she had given her whole heart to him and no matter what she did she never got her heart back. That it stayed with him.

It is one of my favorite romantic movie. I have lost count of how many times I have actually watched that. But each time I enjoy it a little more. I am a hopeless romantic. 😆

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#232

Originally posted by: YASHO1997
Umm why should sona make the decision of reducing her workload and being home early?? Irrespective of whether her clients 'understand' or not?
Just because she is the woman or because she is the mother?
Do we expect dev to do the same?
And going by his character even if he is more than happy to... Why should we expect the same from sona?
If dev can voluntarily take care of the home a little more and sona concentrate on her work it's the same thing right?

Originally posted by: YASHO1997

Again, why should Sona reduce her work to take care of family????
Only because she is a woman?
Seriously?

Yasho, I can tell you my perspective on this. As we have been discussing the past few pages, it's not a gender issue. It has much more to do with Sona facing the consequences of the decisions she made for Soha's life long before Dev was ever in it. If this were a normal family, and Dev had been present as Soha's father from day one, I would completely agree with what you are saying -- Sona's work patterns shouldn't come into question -- but that is far from the case. Over the past weeks/months, Soha has faced a huge upheaval in her day to day life; the one thing that has remained constant is Sona. As that solitary, stabilising presence in her daughter's life, Sona has a bigger responsibility to Soha than before, to aid the transition from one routine to another.

At Bose house, Soha was surrounded by multiple adults whose entire lives revolved around her care. Sona could afford to work the way she did because she had constant help -- even when she came to Delhi in the beginning without her parents, she had Gunni in tow. There was an excellent structure in place so that even if Sona wasn't physically present, Soha was well taken care of. Now at IN, Soha and Golu are largely left to their own devices -- the company of a sibling has a lot of benefits, as Sona and Elena discussed, but it also comes with its own issues -- like Soha, very innocently, learning how to cheat. That same structure is not in place at IN, and I don't see Sona doing much about it. As the one who has been with Soha through out, she is the only person who can orchestrate this.

Dev is still coming to terms with being a full-time parent. When they were sitting together on her first night at IN, one of the things he suggested she talk about was how he had spoiled Golu, a few episodes later, he promised to have Golu do his homework -- something he has never forced on Golu before. He is very self-conscious that he is not as "perfect" a parent as she is, and therefore not as esential to Soha. In the period before their reunion, Sona said a lot of things that reinforced this insecurity, and she continues to exclude him from parenting Soha, as evidenced by the fact that she didn't inform him when Soha had a stomach ache, and instead sent him on a wild goose chase after Jassi. Parenting is just one more thing Dev is convinced he can't do without Sona, and when he had to explain to Soha where her mother was (not knowing himself on the night of the bus incident), it added another element to the terror of living without her.

Dev needs the assurance that Sona won't leave him, or leave him alone in raising Soha by putting herself at peril. And in the end, it's not about how much she works or doesn't, it's about the fact that nobody can do what she needs to to cement the unit of Dev-Sona-Soha. Dev may have given Soha seven years worth of love in the short time he has known her, but that doesn't erase the practical reality of his not being there for so much of her life. I think what a lot of us need to see is Sona confronting that practical reality, instead of pretending like they were never apart.

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#233

@Shaavi: I am loving your mythology-related thoughts. Another thing I find very interesting is Dev's name -- Devrath, aka Bhishma. He is another incredibly controversial character in the Mahabharata, who took an oath of celibacy so his father could marry the woman he loved; the girl's father said he would only give his daughter's hand if her sons were guaranteed succession. While he is lauded for his devotion to his father, his unwavering adherence to his promise caused widespread destruction to so many people. He was the most intelligent and capable ruler, and both of his step-brothers were impotent, but he refused to break his promise for the good of the kingdom. If he had been king, there would have been an undisputed, single line of succession. Moreover, he separated Amba from her love, and refused to marry her himself, causing her to commit suicide so that she could be reborn as a man and avenge her humiliation.

I see Dev Dixit as an updated, more complex version of Bhishma. His first instinct was to act as Bhishma did, in breaking up with Sonakshi for his mother's happiness, but he was not able to stick to it as tenaciously as Bhishma did, and struggled with his love. Dev's character asks the question of what might have happened if Bhishma had been allowed more human behaviour, and the capacity to really question the implications of adhering to his vow. Bhishma was able to stick strong, but Dev struggles with that implicit promise, if that makes sense.

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astrix90

@astrix90

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#234

I forgot to mention this yesterday. There is a fundamental problem in making this into a gender issue.

Scenario 1- Dev says work from home. The response is why the hell should I work from home? Because am a woman? Dev will say no issues I will also work from home. Both of us can run our business from here.

Scenario 2-Dev says please manage your work so that you can spend more time with me and Soha. The response is why the hell should I manage it and finish it early? Cos am a woman? Dev will say no I will finish my work much earlier than you even if it means I have to lose my sleep so both of us can wrap it up early.

Scenario 3- Let's even assume Dev says don't work from now on. I can't see you stressed. It also puts you at risk at every stage cos you have to meet different ppl. Response is why the hell should I quit? Cos am a woman? Dev will say okay I will also close down my business. Both of us can quit. I have enough savings and investments. Enough to manage the rest of our lives 😆

I hope we realise that Dev doesn't see what is wrong with his actions because it is just not a gender issue in his head. He also won't have any issues if anything he is doing to Sona is ever done to him. Sona fussing over him, micro managing his life, interfering in every decision, managing all his clients, asking him to stay at home, tracking him or calling him 10 tImes an hour- Dev will not mind any of this at this point. He won't fight, he won't question Sona and worse he won't find it abnormal (this is partly why he never understood why Sona was so uncomfortable with his mother's constant interference pre leap especially in the infertility track cos in his head, it was just his mom's love and concern). This is exactly why I believe it is not a gender or woman empowerment issue to begin with. If you tell him you are doing this to me cos I am a woman, he will say I will do all this and more as a man. What he is needs is assurance and therapy. If Dev was a chauvinist who had issues with Sona's independence, it would make sense to give him gender lectures. He is not. He is a guy with deep rooted mental issues at this point. You can't expect him to change when you are not even addressing the root cause of his issues. Again not condoning Dev's suffocating behavior. I just had to reiterate how this whole gender debate has nothing to do with his behavior or his actions. In my opinion of course.

Edited by astrix90 - 8 years ago

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#235

Sorry about this marathon posting but I just had a cool thought after my last post re. Sona:

Sona and Dev are polar opposites when it comes to their ideas about work and personal life. In business, Dev is all about getting from point A to point B, and is less concerned with how he gets there. That's why we see that he has dabbled in several different fields, and is quite confident about earning and losing money. Sona, on the other hand is very much concerned with HOW she gets from Point A to Point B, the journey is just as important as the destination -- that is why Dev investing in her company was not acceptable, just as working from home is not acceptable to her now.

They are exactly opposite in the way they approach their personal life. Sona's response to their seven year separation is to try and neutralise it. All of her efforts since the reunion -- especially bringing back the sisters -- have been to correct all the things that happened because of the separation so that they could move on as though it didn't happen at all. She thinks, if we get from Point A of our marriage to Point B of being together eight years later, why should we worry about what happened in between? This also explains why she didn't want to expose Vicky -- it goes against that core purpose. In the process of making it seem like nothing ever happened and moving on, Sona is trivialising a lot of very serious and real issues.

For Dev, on the other hand, their separation, and his subsequent loss of Soha's early life, is his "zindagi ka sabse bada sach" and he is not able to forget that it happened. That fear of losing Sona that is driving him mad now, is a direct result of the fact that they were apart, and he is eager to confront that truth and its accompanying pain head on. That is why he reacted the way he did to her emails, made that trip to Kolkata, and "tortured" himself with all of Soha's birth certificate, ultrasounds, and photos. In the process, he is allowing himself to stagnate in that pain -- and that is where this dangerous behaviour has come from.

So, in the end, if each of them bring a little of their business personas into their personal lives, things should run much more smoothly! 👍🏼

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thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#236

Great discussions over the weekend. I was meant to be away but the thread kept me hooked and I managed to catch up!

I totally don't see Dev as questioning sona's need to be independent. Nor does he want her to leave her professional status. Sonakshi made a huge mistake by bringing Ishwari into that discussion and it got distracted into financial independence for no good reason.

We need to realise that "dhoop tez thi" . For both of them.

Both Dev and sona have what I would call a quirkiness in their personality. Sona seeks external validation. Low self worth. Dev has deep abandonment issues. These got reinforced by what happened in the two breakups. Each time Sona felt she was dispensible and dev felt sona would leave him. In fact, they need a taste of their sasural's parenting style. Dev needs more time with Boses to realise they stick together. The love is just there. There is no need to prove it. Sona needs to understand how the Dixits don't express the need for each other. But they can even love someone like Vicky. There is no need to constantly make yourself worthy of being a dixit.

The weekly arrangement would have done them so much good.

I will however say that I don't subscribe to the school of thought that Sonakshi needs to sing and dance to Dev's tunes. She needs to do that just this one time. To get a handle on the situation. But to solve their problems, devakshi need explain their fears to each other.

My problem with Dev meddling with her business is the client involvement. That is washing dirty Laundry in public. She could get sued over this.

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Shaavi

@Shaavi

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#237

Originally posted by: Samanalyse
Sorry about this marathon posting but I just had a cool thought after my last post re. Sona:

Sona and Dev are polar opposites when it comes to their ideas about work and personal life. In business, Dev is all about getting from point A to point B, and is less concerned with how he gets there. That's why we see that he has dabbled in several different fields, and is quite confident about earning and losing money. Sona, on the other hand is very much concerned with HOW she gets from Point A to Point B, the journey is just as important as the destination -- that is why Dev investing in her company was not acceptable, just as working from home is not acceptable to her now.

They are exactly opposite in the way they approach their personal life. Sona's response to their seven year separation is to try and neutralise it. All of her efforts since the reunion -- especially bringing back the sisters -- have been to correct all the things that happened because of the separation so that they could move on as though it didn't happen at all. She thinks, if we get from Point A of our marriage to Point B of being together eight years later, why should we worry about what happened in between? This also explains why she didn't want to expose Vicky -- it goes against that core purpose. In the process of making it seem like nothing ever happened and moving on, Sona is trivialising a lot of very serious and real issues.

For Dev, on the other hand, their separation, and his subsequent loss of Soha's early life, is his "zindagi ka sabse bada sach" and he is not able to forget that it happened. That fear of losing Sona that is driving him mad now, is a direct result of the fact that they were apart, and he is eager to confront that truth and its accompanying pain head on. That is why he reacted the way he did to her emails, made that trip to Kolkata, and "tortured" himself with all of Soha's birth certificate, ultrasounds, and photos. In the process, he is allowing himself to stagnate in that pain -- and that is where this dangerous behaviour has come from.

So, in the end, if each of them bring a little of their business personas into their personal lives, things should run much more smoothly!👍🏼

Sam, for me their business styles also ties with the truth and dare game. In one of my he earlier episodes in season 2, Bijoy, Asha and Soha are shown to play the truth and dare game, all 3 pick truth. Soha even comments on how none picked dare. That is exactly what was shown during the episode where Dev and Bijoy locked in a room end up drinking. That is exactly how Dev and Sonakshi run their business. Sonakshi is someone who will not dare to venture to any other path than what she already knows and is sure of, being a nutritionist. But Dev is not like that. In the very beginning of the series he was shown to be M. D of just Ishwari Dixit Communications. But now he is referred as the owner of Ishwari enterprises where IDC is one of its units. He can dare to make 20cr in one day through stock market and close that business when it is in its peak because of a possibility of market crash.

This is exactly what Dev and Sonakshi are doing in personal lives. Dev is daring to look back at both what happened before 7 years as well as the 7 years and trying to bridge the gap. Sonakshi is saying since it has already passed, you can do nothing about it and that is the truth. That's why when she was angry when she first found maami taking money from Ishwari's night stand and told Dev that it was morally wrong, forgave Vickky now. And Dev who at that time had told that maami was the elder of the family so she can take money from their house at that time, kicked Vickky out of the house this time.

I had once mentioned about Absolute morality vs Relative morality. While Dev always believed in relative one, Sonakshi believed in absolute. Dev by being influenced by Sonakshi tried the path of absolute morality, but found that it was not practical. He is going back to his relative morality ways and is expecting Sonakshi to follow him. Sonakshi on her side is not sure of relative morality and still considers absolute morality as the way to go and hence is resisting to even listen to him. She doesn't want the path where one needs to introspect their actions and adjust as opposed to only going by intentions and not having to take responsibility for consequences.

My guess is that Sonakshi will be forced to introspect her actions by the circumstances and re-evaluate her understanding of morality. In the end both are needed at moderate quantities and when that truth is realized by Dev and Sonakshi, is when they will get back together. It is time for Sonakshi to try some "dare".