Hello forumwasis !! My name is Jennifer. I am a huge fan of this lovely show. This is my first post in this forum. As my first post, I would like to share a post which I had written regarding the usage of the word feminist in our show. I had written this almost a couple of months back. I know I'm sharing this very late but since there's still a lot of time left for the next episode to air, I would love to know everyone's opinion on this post. Since it's a fairly long post, please do read it carefully. I would be waiting for your comments.
The use of the word feminist in Kuch Rang Pyar Ke Aise Bhi has been a subject of great debate among the audience. The frequent usage of the word by the male lead-Dev has generated multiple perspectives. Through this write-up I intend to put forward my views on this subject. If someone starts watching Kuch Rang from Season 2, it's likely that he/she will come to the conclusion that the writers do not know the meaning of feminism. However for someone who has watched both the seasons, the matter gets confusing. I'm sure everyone remembers the jhoola track of S1. During that track Sona wanted Dev to manage his own wardrobe. Ishwari managed the wardrobe on Dev's behalf and the mother-son duo hid this fact from Sona. When the truth came out, Dev and Sona had a fight in their room. During the course of that fight, while trying to convince Sona, Dev said a statement-"Sonakshi, main koi anti-feminist ya chauvinist nahi hoon ". There you go-this is where the confusion begins. The dialogue I have quoted clearly proves that S1 Dev knew the correct meaning of feminism which obviously implies that the writers know the correct dictionary meaning of feminism. The important point here is that the writers of the show are still the same. Even the screenplay writers are same. Moreover, even the dialogue writers haven't changed. Needless to say, the writing department of our show has some of the most terrific writers in town and it is virtually impossible that the writers would be unaware of the correct meaning of the word. When the storytellers haven't changed, what is it that has changed? This clearly proves that the use of the word was definitely not a mistake; rather it had a greater meaning to it.
I had my opinion regarding that sequence which I would like to put forth. It is a well known fact that a lot of men perceive the feminist movement as a threat to their male privilege. Male privilege refers to the luxuries which are automatically bestowed upon men by the society. It happens a great deal in Indian society which is largely a patriarchal society. The social constructs of patriarchy are a way to silence the female gender. Perceiving the feminist movement as a threat is not just the case with men who are unaware of the true meaning of feminism. A lot of men who are aware of the concept also twist/distort the meaning of feminism when their male privilege is threatened. When I say-'twist the meaning of feminism' I intend to say that men perceive the movement as a potential threat which under the pretext of uplifting women could undermine the societal status of men. This is the biggest issue with the usage of the word. According to the dictionary, the word feminist refers to 'an advocate of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes'. Feminism advocates equality of the two sexes. Since the female section of the population needs more support, the feminist movement naturally works more towards their upliftment and empowerment. However this empowerment does not come at the expense of undermining the status of men. This is what most men fail to understand and therefore they build a distorted opinion regarding the movement. It's meaning is twisted and the movement is made more about gender wars rather than striving for equality. The issue is that preaching feminism is very easy but actually implementing it is something that even the most educated of men hesitate to do at times. In India, as elsewhere, the word 'feminist' is taken into an alternate universe, twisted and turned into a swear word. S1 Dev was a good ambassador of feminism. Every second episode he uttered dialogues like-"You are the best Ms. Bose, You are perfect Ms. Bose, "I am proud of you Ms. Bose, "As always you are right Ms. Bose, "I am lucky to have you in my life etc. Such dialogues can only be said by a true feminist. Dev treated Sona as his equal. Infact he considered Sona to be better than him. He allowed Sona to be the dominant partner and had no qualms in letting her take charge of their relationship. This is a rare quality amongst men.
Moving forward we encountered Dev and Sona's divorce. They have a brutal separation and their paradise of love gets destroyed. Dev fell into bad habits and his goodness deteriorated. Dev whom we met during the post leap episodes was definitely not as good a person as pre-leap Dev. Dev probably felt that him being so open minded and respectful towards Sona's professional success, her strength and her independence yielded no good to him. The fact remains that he had to eventually face a divorce and loads of emotional trauma. The fact is that Dev's feminist attitude was no way responsible for the disaster but when a person goes through turbulent times it's very natural that he/she ends up blaming the wrong people and chooses wrong reasons to justify his/her trauma. This happened with Dev as well. The divorce and the subsequent trauma must have changed his stance on the utility of feminism. Moreover, in Sona's words the negative additions to his thought process and attitude must have made him like the typical stereotyped males. This was clearly evident in his post leap personality. A good example to highlight Dev's character deterioration would be the Shruti episode right at the start of S2. The way he treated Shruti was wrong in every sense. Pre leap Dev would never have treated her like that. The audience conveniently overlooks that behavior because Shruti was a side character. But could the behavior be ignored if Dev had treated Sona in that manner? The answer is a big 'NO'. Over the course of 7 years Dev did imbibe a few chauvinistic traits. A few examples:-
1) Dev mocked Sona's business venture and called her a start-up queen
2) Dev taunted Sona's strength and independence on quite a few occasions.
These incidents definitely do not make Dev a chauvinist. Dev, even at his worst was nowhere close to being a typical chauvinist but as I said he did imbibe a few chauvinist tendencies. That's the basic idea behind my explanation of Dev using the word feminist. Dev was well aware of the true concept of feminism but his life experiences and heartbreak made him go against the same concept which he once implemented so religiously. In Dev's opinion, by being a feminist and allowing Sona to dominate he ended up screwing his own life, so it's very natural that he twisted the concept of feminism which a lot of males do. It is obvious that S2 Dev would also know the dictionary meaning of the word but he refuses to accept it because of the misconstrued opinion he has developed regarding the movement. S2 Dev has also exhibited a few MCP qualities. A few examples:-
1) MCP's are very possessive about their lady irrespective of the relationship which they share with their girl. Dev fulfills this criterion. I don't think that there's ever been a more possessive lover than Dev on Indian TV. Even now, despite being separated he still exercises that "haq on Sona, both physically as well as emotionally.
2) Coming to the most interesting point-MCP's taunt females as feminist when they try to give it back to them. This is exactly what Dev has also been doing.
Once again, I would like to mention that Dev is definitely not a typical MCP but he did exhibit a few shades of their behavior. So you see, Dev has been sketched deliberately keeping in mind a few chauvinist and MCP traits. I am confident regarding this claim. If we recollect, the producer of our show had given an interview after the slap-gate footage had been leaked before the episode aired. In the interview he had said that the writers had no intention of portraying Dev as some version of Lord Ram henceforth. It clearly meant that the writers had planned a few negative shades for Dev in the episodes after that. Immediately after slap-gate we had the leap. The post leap phase introduced us to the new Devrath Dixit who was much more flawed than his S1 avatar.
I don't support the claim that Dev was faking those taunts. I believe that all those taunts of 'strong, independent, feminist' were genuine and he meant those words. One also needs to keep in mind that Dev and Sona are a divorced couple. Divorce is a massively sensitive issue and can twist the psyche of even the most mature couples. When mature couples can lose their head, then two immature people like Dev and Sona were bound to deteriorate, isn't it? We all love Dev's iconic line during the epic proposal scene-"I love you as a man loves as a woman. This dialogue was a work of pure genius from the dialogue writers. However the bitter fact is that Dev and Sona could never really become a MAN and WOMAN in love and their post marriage life clearly proves this. Also their separation was as brutal as it can get. Any marriage counselor or a psychologist would tell you that most couples who go through a bad divorce end up hating the very same qualities which they once loved in their spouse. This is one trait which quite amazingly is observed in most of the bitter divorced couples. Therefore Dev taunting Sona as 'strong, independent, feminist' shouldn't really come as a surprise to anyone. These were the very same qualities which made Dev fall for Sona but he ended up despising the very same qualities post the separation. Believe me, this is a very real trend and it happens a lot. Irrational behavior, frequent angry outbursts and unpredictability are few other traits which are observed in couples who've gone through a bad seperation. These qualities become even more magnified when there is a kid involved. It only worsens the dynamics between the couple. Anyone who has watched Kuch Rang carefully would realize that both Dev and Sona have exhibited all these qualities at some point of time over the course of S2.These qualities were very distinctly visible during Dev's 7 day stay at the Bose House. The reasons for that are quite obvious. The primary reason for that was the fact that they had to stay under the same roof at a time when they had hardly resolved any of their core issues. On one hand they had to be cordial so that they don't upset Suhana while on the other hand the lovers within them were itching to burst out at each other. Dev and Sona failed to find a balance between the two emotions and ended up looking quite irrational and unpredictable in their behavior. Once again, that was a very real trend highlighted by the makers. The writers have definitely done their research work well and have done a pretty good job in portraying an estranged/divorced couple with a child between them. Coming back to our core topic now.Honestly, men misusing the word feminist is not unreal at all. As a matter of fact, this is a rampant practice which is quite prevalent particularly in the corporate sector. Females working in MNC's and the corporate sector might relate to what I am about to write next. In a few corporate companies, when a female employee rises through the ranks and challenges the position of the male employee, she is often branded a feminist. This often happens at conclaves where the female is praised for performing better than her male counterparts. I have faced the same situation in my career as well. I was labelled a feminist simply because I was fiercely competitive and I was defiant that I could outshine my male counterparts. Interestingly, most of my co-workers were IIT graduates who were well aware of the concept of feminism but they still mocked me. They distorted/misunderstood my supreme confidence as an attempt from my side to undermine their ability and calibre. That was the day I understood how grossly misused the word is and how it's meaning is conveniently distorted when males feel threatened. Just to get my point across more clearly, I'll quote another incident. One of my male colleagues called one of my female colleagues a feminist'. It wasn't a word of appreciation but used in a slattern way, to put down, as an expletive. My female friend immediately hit back saying-'Don't use the F-word'. When I discussed this incident with some of my other male colleagues, the response I got was clearly something that I hadn't expected. They came up with a weird and infuriating justification for the man's behavior. Their justification: 'Why should my female colleague, who was supposedly a feminist in all manners of behavior and character, someone who fights against the rigid patriarchal tantric society, have a problem with being labelled a feminist? For that's what she claims to be, isn't it '.It did surprise me that those guys believed that there was nothing wrong in using the term in a slattern way and the female should just hear it and accept it. However, with more experience under my belt, I realized that it was not something dramatically new. If there was a dictionary parallel, the term feminist in our country would imply not someone who believes in equality but someone who is a 'feminazi' i.e a radical feminist, a man-hater, a sexist out to destroy the other gender. The politest version of it's meaning I've heard here, unless you're in academic living rooms is the quietly sarcastic 'Oh, you are the feminist type' with an understanding nod of sudden revelation.Another section of people who face the brunt owing to this misuse are social activists who fight for equality of women in all sectors of society. People who dare to speak up regarding the post marriage issues of girls are blatantly labelled as "feminists by people who are either unaware of the dictionary meaning or by people who know the meaning but perceive it as a threat. As I said most men memorize the definition of feminism but when it comes to implementing it, they back off and as a defense mechanism end up labeling females as 'feminists', who they feel are a threat to their dominant position in society. The reason for this is the male privilege which is automatically granted to them by society. Also, a major percentage of people are unaware of the true meaning of feminism and therefore very few people come forward to correct these people. With a contorted meaning, the word feminist' for men has become more about exclusion of the other gender, a reason to argue rather than solve, an expletive, a shout-match. It's miasma bogs down the winds of any change, drags down people and their stories with it's anchoring weight. In the current setup the word is grossly misunderstood and most of the times is either being used as a defence mechanism or an abuse.However the situation with Dev isn't as bleak as the ones I have mentioned above. Dev was a wonderful feminist for 28 years of his life. Then came the subsequent divorce which distanced him from the concept and the product was a rude and arrogant Dev who despised the concept. However even his current behavior has a flipside. Dev may have vocally despised feminism but his actions, to a great extent suggest the opposite sentiment. A few examples-
1) Dev suggests the idea of living in a separate house to Sona. That exhibits feminism.
2) Dev gives up his male privilege and decides to stay at the Bose House for a week after being asked by Sona to do so. Pre leap Dev would have agreed within a second and would have run off to the Bose House but considering Dev's changed personality post leap it was natural that he initially hesitated to go. But importantly, he DID GO after thinking for a while. There is something very interesting to be noted here. While Dev and Sona were deliberating on that 7 day arrangement in the office cabin they also had a discussion on male privilege. The writers clearly stressed on the concept of male privilege in that scene. Remember Sona's dialogues regarding how women are accustomed to give up their privilege post marriage. She spoke of the compromises which women make and she openly taunted Dev saying that he would not be able to make those adjustments and compromises because he was a male. Immediately after Sona said these things Dev used the word feminist.
Let's move forward a bit. During Saurabh and Ronita's engagement Dev and Jatin had an interesting conversation. Jatin appreciated Dev for giving up his male privilege and coming to stay at the Bose House. Jatin said that it was something which very few men would have done and also said that Dev was a gutsy man to have taken that decision. Once again the writers stressed on the concept of male privilege through Jatin. Interestingly enough, in the very next episode Dev and Sona had a massive fight where Dev again used the word feminist. The fight I'm referring to is the one which took place after the jewellery theft. Don't you think there is a clear trend/pattern which the writers have established here? Why do the writers need to stress so heavily on the misuse of male privilege? Also, Dev used the word feminist exactly before and exactly after the two discussions on male privilege took place. Is this a coincidence? It's definitely not. It also highlights that even when Dev was misusing the word, his actions exhibited true feminism. This clearly proves my theory that Dev is still very much aware of the dictionary meaning of feminism which is the reason why his actions exhibit feminism. However, as I said his life experiences have made him perceive the movement as futile, which in turn has distorted his opinion regarding the movement. I hope I was able to convey my thought process clearly. I hope the readers are now able to understand how cleverly the concept of feminism and male privilege was drafted into the script by the writers.
3) When Dev came to know that Sona and Jatin were dealing with the Khatri issue without involving him, he did not get angry at all regarding the fact that he was being kept out of the loop. Recollect the recent episode where Dev fell ill on the day Sona and him were supposed to return to the Bose House. He wanted to fake his illness but actually ended up falling ill. Subsequently, he told Sona that he was sure that she could handle the Khatri issue alone without his help. That was classic Devrath Dixit-letting Sona take the lead in decision making. Once again Dev Babu exhibited feminism.
4) The most magnificent example in this regard came very recently. Dev got Kajal (Malti's daughter) a job in his company. Please try and understand this carefully. In order to improve Kajal's life, Dev could have easily given her a huge sum of money so that she would live her entire life comfortably without having to work. That is exactly what a chauvinist would have done. They would help the girl but would never EMPOWER her. Contrary to that, Dev empowers Kajal by giving her a job. By doing so, he not only guarantees her a good life but also ensures that she would become self-reliant and independent. Isn't this an exceptional example of feminism? A lot of people might say that this was a 'one-off incident' and I'm reading too much into it. That's not the case. If we remember, Dev had appointed Riya as a trainee in his company. Did he tell her to sit back and enjoy her life considering that her brother was a millionaire? No, he did not. Secondly, just because she was his sister, he did not give her a big post in the company. Rather he empowered her to earn her success through her own hard work and dedication. Dev empowered Neha by supporting her decision of learning English. Dev empowered Sonakshi by being proud and supportive of her professional career. Infact even after marriage Dev wanted Sona to focus on her work because it was her passion. Dev never wanted Sona to change. He embraced her as she was. For Dev, Sona was always perfect but unfortunately, instead of realising this incredible quality of Dev, Sona was more interested in trying to please Ishwari and becoming the best Bahu on Earth. That was Sona's biggest mistake. Sona has always been a people-pleaser which is also her biggest flaw. Dev had also appointed Vicky as a trainee but had to unwillingly change his decision after Ishwari's emotional blackmailing, so that's a different case altogether. Don't you think there is a common trend followed in all these incidents. This clearly proves that all these incidents including Kajal's job were intentionally crafted by the writers. That was again classic Devrath Dixit-not just helping women but also EMPOWERING them.
5) Dev willingly gave up all his rights over Suhana by signing the legal contract. The first clause which held Dev responsible for being unaware about Suhana was a terribly vindictive move by Sona but Dev accepted it without any qualms. In my opinion making the contract was a good move by Sona. I perfectly understand the fear which prompted her to make the contract-she wanted to protect Suhana from the vultures at Ishwari Niwas but that motive could very well have been achieved even in the absence of that first clause. Everything said and done, the fact remains that Sona and Bijoy were not on the side of justice with regards to keeping Suhana away from Dev for 7 years. Sona knew her mistake but she tried to absolve herself by making Dev a scapegoat. Dev was the weak party in that case, he desperately wanted to spend time with Suhana and in a moment of vindictiveness Sona took advantage of Dev's helplessness. Dev's behavior during that sequence was wonderfully gracious and deserves praise.
Certain core qualities in a person cannot be changed. Being a feminist is one of Dev's core qualities. He had developed that quality over 28 years of his life. 7 years were not going to erase that. Hence, even at a time when he was vocally despising feminism, his actions conveyed the opposite sentiment on a lot of occasions. However Dev is only an occasional feminist as of now. Every now and again, he does exhibit certain shades of chauvinism as well. But the rate at which Dev is progressing, it won't be long before we get Mr. Dev Feminist Dixit back again. S2 Dev has confused the hell out of many viewers. It happened with me as well on a few occasions, but after rewatching the episodes I did manage to understand Dev Babu better. Honestly speaking, S2 Dev is a magnificently sketched character. People might think that he is mad, but as I have tried to reason out, there is a certain pattern and trend which governs his behavior. In proverbial terms, there is a method to Dev's madness. I don't think it would be a subject of debate if I say that Dev is easily the most multi-colored and multi-shaded male lead. The writers have portrayed all possible human emotions and shades through Dev's character. If S1 was largely based on the beautiful shades of love, S2 so far; has been about the darker shades of love. Love can also be selfish and vindictive. This has been aptly highlighted in S2. Dev and Sona are not your usual male and female leads which we've been accustomed to seeing on television. Both of them are highly complex individuals; and when two such personalities fall in love, we are bound to get beautiful as well as dark shades of love. To cut things short, if you ever wanted to watch a truly layered and complicated character, watch S2 Dev.
Kuch Rang has a habit of leaving certain tracks open ended to allow the viewers to form their own perspective. It's almost certain that the writers won't touch the feminist track again, but I do believe with a certain degree of conviction that my reasoning is pretty appropriate. My reasoning is based on a few particular trends which the writers have themselves established over the course of S2. I haven't made use of any random assumptions; rather I have simply used facts and behavioral patterns which have been clearly highlighted in the show. Also the validity of this track is very well established because we had a strong background to it in S1. The background for this track was Dev's feeling of pride over Sona's strength, independence and her professional success. As I said Dev kept uttering dialogues like-"I am proud of you Ms. Bose, "You are the best, "You are perfect etc. I am damn sure that if Dev hadn't used these dialogues in S1, the writers would never have used the word 'feminist' in S2. Hence, the word was not used randomly by the makers; rather it had a strong context and backdrop to it.
P.S: 1) A lot of people might be wondering if the writers would really have thought so much before drafting this track. Well, my write-up might look very long but the theme of this post can be summed up in just a few lines-"Misuse of the word feminist by men who perceive the movement as a threat to their male privilege thereby forming a distorted opinion in their mind regarding the purpose and utility of the feminist movement. It's as simple as that and the writers of our show are very much capable of thinking along these lines and coming up with a track focusing on the ideas of feminism and male privilege.
2) I have used the word 'males' in very general terms. I have absolutely no intention of saying that all men misuse the word. We have a lot of wonderful men in society who are the torchbearers of the movement. I have used the word "males quite loosely only for the purpose of convenience while writing this post. I am extremely sorry if my post may have hurt the sentiments of any of the male readers.
3) The misuse of the word 'feminist' is not something which is exclusive to the male community. A lot of females also take undue advantage of the movement for their selfish benefits. Since this post was dedicated to Dev's usage of the word, I have not spoken about the misuse of the word by females. However, the fact is that the meaning of the word is conveniently distorted by men as well as women.
4) I have randomly used the words divorce/separation in my post coz it isn't clear what the relationship status of the leads is. However my thoughts would remain the same irrespective of the fact whether they are a divorced couple or merely estranged.
5)When I say that Dev is a 'magnificently sketched character' it definitely does not imply that I support all his actions.Dev is a grey shaded character and consequently he has his share of good as well as bad qualities. The same applies to most of the characters in general.However it's the layered nature of Dev's character which makes him interesting for me.
With that, I would like to put an end to this long ramble of mine. I hope I made some sense folks. Thanks for reading!!
Shiv Shakti
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
