*Season 2, Week 21* Analysis Thread - Page 11

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

Dear Latha,

Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. How I wish I could just do what you are saying, take Sonakshi in my arms and soothe her fears away. If only it were that simple! But I know Ms. Bose; if I tried that right now, she would push me away, tell me I'm being ridiculous, and ask me if I'm blaming her flaws for the state of our relationship. The problem is that she still believes Ma has a power over me that she doesn't and that it's futile to fight that (why Ma had to go and be Ma when everything was going so well is a rant for another day!). I tried to assure her with words before, but thanks to my own weaknesses, I rendered them empty.

This time, I want to show her how much I want her, with all her flaws and her feelings, no matter how petty they might be. I want to show her that she can trust and rely on me, but I can only do that if she takes a leap of faith and opens her heart to me. That is why I am provoking her so persistently, to get her to expose those bitter feelings along with her love -- it's the only way I can know how she really feels, and the only way I can show her that I will be there for her even when she isn't at her best. It kills me to see her torture herself like this, especially when I know that our failed relationship is at the root of her fears.

She had just begun to open up slowly and I was so grateful to see my Khargosh again, but once Ma asked her to help with my remarriage she shut me out completely. You see, Ma made her aware of how much she had opened up already and she panicked. It won't be as easy to get her to let me in again this time, but I am determined to make it happen at any cost. Getting her to tell me how she feels is just the beginning, and this time, if I gain even a fraction of her trust back, I won't let it slip through my fingers!

Hopefully yours,

Dev Dixit

Dear Mr Dixit

Now that we have resorted to communicating via a 3^rd person/object your prospective brides, my car, this thread... I am also writing to you here.

You are right in thinking that I am at a place where it is highly likely that a Shimla style hug, kiss will backfire, and I will push you away. Trust me it is not just you... I am not letting anyone in. Not even myself. This is the only way I have dealt with my feelings in the last 7 years.

I struggle to forgive everyone for what happened on that fateful night and the months leading up to it. I was just beginning to like our newfound equation when baba made me bolster that lakshman rekha I had drawn around myself. I will not lie; your ma's request propelled me deeper into my own hole. Your khargosh is rolled up into a big ball of fur. Because, the moment I open that bonnet, I start seeing so many problems that I do not know where to start.

I promise, one day I will ask you for help... May be tomorrow... Right now, I need to go and buy that orange Salsa dress that Soha wants for her dance school and then I have about 50 emails to reply before that and I need to also follow 3 patients secretly to make sure they are following the diet plan.

Until then, Tumhari buddy

Sona