Posted:
You know the drill. Here's the thread for today. If you refresh occasionally like you do for written update, you might be able to read as I update. I will start updating as the episode gets uploaded. You guys can continue your discussion. I will update as I go.
Note: Today I am very busy. So today's update will be short and sweet (as sweet I can turn this track). Until then, feel free to carry on your discussions. Also, please pay attention to the rules of this thread and continue to self-monitor.
Today all I will say, Thappad se darr nehin lagta saab, good intentions se darr lagta hain.
Arz hain,
Kuch thokar se ghayal hue, kuch jhooth se barbad hue...
Is good intention ke chakkar mein, jaane kitne rishte barbad hue...
EPISODE: The episode starts with Sona telling Soha and Golu that she is not sad.
Soha tells Golu that she was right about her mother being tired.
Sona says that if she plays with them, she will feel better.
They both cheer up.
Me: This is how parents behave. Even when they are upset, tired, angry, frustrated, stressed out, they don't take off without telling anyone.
They wipe their tears, tuck away their hurts, put a cover on their pain and paint a smile on their face so that their children can be happy.
Because parenting is not an option for real parents. It's a responsibility and a privilege.
Mamaji taunts Vicky about the FD. Radha as usual defends Vicky. Mamaji scolds them.
Vicky says that his luck is not like Dev and Ishwari.
Mamaji says that everything they have is because of Dev and Ishwari's hard work.
Vicky says that Dev didn't have fees to pay to the school. They were going to through him out. Then Ishwari won a lottery and their luck changed overnight.
Mamaji says that luck favours those who work hard.
Radha gets mad and says that sometimes she wishes that Ishwari didn't win a lottery.
Mamaji and Radha continues fighting but Sona overhears.
Me: Ek baat bolu? Kya conveniently information leak hoti hain naa Dixit house mein?
Sonakshi ne itna time spend kiya in logon ke saath, Vicky ko to tab bhi Dev se jealousy thi, Radha tab bhi Vicky ko defend karti thi, Mamaji tab bhi taana maarte the. Lekin kabhi kisi ne iss baare mein chu tak nehin kiya.
Aur idhar Khatri ne chakkar kaatna shuru kiya, udhar Sona jasoos ki bekar jasoosi chalu aur idhar saare secret apne aap nikalne lage.
To bhaiya, Dev ke school ka fees lottery ne bhare. Fine. Lekin Ishwari ne lottery ka fraud to kiya nehin hoga. Shayed ticket churaya hoga kisi se. Waisi bhi chori chamari to kar hi legi. Lekin ek baat hain, inki voice kaafi tez thi jab Radha aur yeh milke Bijoy aur Saurabh ko chor bula rahe the.
Darling, apne gireban mein jhak lo.
Mama and Radha continues to fight when a blank call comes. Sona suspects Khatri.
She thinks God knows what else Khatri will do. Now only she can come and shut him up.
Me: Or Dev. He can shut him up too. But since you want to get your Martyr credit you won't speak. So...
Sona comes to Dev's room looking for him.
Elena says the person she is looking for isn't here.
Sona: We had a fight and he took off? What is he? 4 years old?
Me: Awww... Calling you characterless, manhandling you, stalking you, taking your picture is a fight? How cute.
Oh right. He didn't backhand you. So may be in your mind that's a wee fight. You know regular stuff like you trapped Jatin like you trapped him. But hey, at least he didn't call you infertile this time (because he can't anymore) or a gold digger who married him for money (he implied it, but didn't say it) or that you are a bad mother (that he said, but who cares).
Asha to bekaar mein aapko "Tolerance" ka path pada rahee thi. I wonder agar Bijoy ne wohi kaha hota Asha se jo Dev ne aapko kaha, to kya tab bhi woh tolerance dikhati? Ya phir agar Soha ka husband usse aise treat karta to aap chup chap khade hoke sunti?
However, with you, I am no longer sure nor care.
Elena laughs. Sona: Why are you laughing?
Elena: Whenever Dev bhai gets upset, he goes away from home. Then he doesn't answer text or call. Sometimes he picks up Golu's call, but that's it. When his mood gets better, he comes back in a week.
Me: Wow, what a responsible parenting. So if something, God forbid happens to Golu or Soha and he is in middle of sulking, they will have to hold on to their lives until he gets over his snit. And this guy claimed that he was raising a child for the last six years.
Well, then I can claim my aunt in Canada was raising me in India. At least she was always available through calls.
By the way, didn't he say that he was dying to spend time with Soha and that he was heart broken to be away from her? So where is he now exactly? Not by Soha, that's for sure.
But poor wee baby is heart broken. Someone hand him a lollypop. Soha will just have to "understand".
Sona: A week?
Then she thinks Dev stays away from auntyji from that long?
Me: Yes, and also from the boy he claims he had been raising. But funny, you never once thought what a bad guardian to vanish for a week, did you?
Elena asks her to talk to Dev if she cares so much.
She says that everything is complicated between them. Dev doesn't want to talk because he doesn't understand beyond black and white. He thinks that she and Jatin are having an affair.
Elena is shocked: No, I don't believe that. But why is he thinking that?
Sonakshi: Because he is Dev Dixit. Whatever he wants to think he will think, whatever he wants to see, he will see. He makes imaginary rules in his head that no one can break. How can I talk to a person like that? Didn't you see that there is only hate in his eyes for me.
Elena is confused: Dev bhai can't hate you. But it's true that he can't love anyone either. What has he got in love anyway? A failed relationship, a lot of pain and a lot of tears. What you call hate is his way of hiding his love. You do the same naa. Have you noticed the Sona we knew who wants to help everyone, starts shouting at Dev bhai's little words? Why?
Sona: Elena...
Elena: Because he is Dev Bhai. When you see him you remember that you could have been with him, you could have shared your happiness with him, you could have shared things with him. But nothing of that sort happened. Sona, you are not upset with him. You are upset with yourself because you could not love him at all.
Me: I have to give Elena a standing ovation here. Really, she is so intelligent. Didn't I say that she should have married Dev?
Funny, isn't it that I never knew that in Dev and Sona's relationship, there was only one person who was suffering and that was Dev who was surrounded by adoring family who were willing to give him the sun and moon and a wife who was willing to suffer all abuse with her mouth shut just to be with him.
Such a sad life Dev was living.
When first time he kicked Sona out of his life, he was the one in pain because even though it was his decision.
When second time he threw Sona out of his life, he was the one in pain because hey, his family just forced her to become pregnant, call her father and brother a thief, he slapped her father, he pushed Sona and the skinny minnie fell on Ishwari so of course her fault for not being built like an Oak tree.
When she refused to come back, it was again her fault because she could have been under his mother's feet, she could have been treated like an outsider despite being a mother (like a trash if her infertility didn't get a miraculous cure), and tolerating taunts just to get a husband.
Wow, the price of husbands must be very high. How can the price of a wife match up to that?
And now again, when he was sleeping with multiple women because boo hoo, love hurts and he got a pain and Sona was living the life of a nun, only goes to show that when you sleep with random people, that's when you prove how much you love someone. Sonakshi, come on. Have a few one night stands, will you?
Gotta prove your love that how much in pain you are to eff multiple people and imagine one.
And by the way Elena, the day you go through what Sonakshi went through, the day you practice what you preach instead of looking for a quick way out of your marriage, the day you raise a child singlehandedly without anyone's help while maintaining a career, that's the day give lecture about who had loved how much. Because you don't know shit, lady.
Sonakshi thinks of old times (idiot). Elena leaves thinking that she has imparted knowledge which actually has any worth just like Asha and Mamaji.
Sonakshi talks to Dev's picture: It's all your fault. Do you know how long it took to forget you? You don't know how long I kept calling myself Sonakshi Dixit. We got separated my head knew. But Dev, I wasn't willing to accept that. I took so much time to forget my past with you. Now I will not give you another chance to make me weak. I won't give you another chance to break me. I won't love you.
It would have been better if you were a bad father to Soha. Then I'd have thought my decision to stay away from you all these years was right. But no, you have become Soha's life. When Soha looks at you, she keeps looking at you. Why you are not bad when you can't control your bad words?
You took the blame on your head for my brother's marriage. Why did you do it and why we became like this? Why you can't see beyond black and white. Some colours are different. Some colours are also like this.
Me: It was a very emotional scene. I had tears in my eyes. I always knew that between Dev and Sona, Sona was more committed to this relationship than Dev. She always tried to make it work until she could not tolerate anymore.
For Dev, this relationship fell such a low end of his priority list that it was always an afterthought. He had all the demands and all the complaints from this relationship without giving it neither his time, his attention, his consideration or his commitment.
Sorry, relationship is a two-way street. Either both people are in it, or they aren't.
And when you let more than two people enter a relationship, that's when it becomes a Tamasha.
We saw, husband, wife and children are family. But even there, every relationship are in twos.
Husband and wife have marital relationships.
Father and children have filial relationships.
Mother and children have maternal relationships.
And brothers and sisters have sibling relationships.
While two brothers and one sister can share the same relationship, but still it's not necessary that the equation the sister shares with one brother, she will also share with the other. The same way, the two brother may not share the same relationship with each other as they would individually with the sister.
So in every relationship, in the core, is only between two people.
What Sona is not understanding that Dev's relationship with anyone else, including Soha is NOT a reflection of how his relationship with her would work. The same way, not every husband who is a good companion to his wife may not be the best father. Otherwise, we will also have to accept without ever seeing Jatin with Soha that just because he is a good friend to Sona, he is also an expert on parenting Soha.
But that's not the case. One relationship doesn't validate another. Otherwise every single parent will marry their nanny just because they are amazing with their kids.
Dev is thinking about Sona and Jatin, Sona is thinking about Dev.
Me: Why I am getting a bad vibes here? We all know Dev is not the type to mind his business. So I have a feeling that he will push Sona and Jatin together to get his Martyr credit rolling in.
Sona: Look at me, Dev Dixit. I am still standing where you left me. Even today when I want to talk to you, you are not here. I need you. I want to talk to you about me and I want to talk to you about you. And I want to talk to you about the man who is threatening our family. You always used to say that I never asked you for help. Now I am asking for help. We have to fight this war together. I need you.
She cries.
Me: Ummm... I was all sad and teary eyed, until now. Who told you Sona that Dev would want to involve you in fighting Khatri? May be, considering that you are his ex-wife, he doesn't want you to be involved in his mother's business. Have you thought about that before deciding to be the Joan of Arc of Dixit family?
But then, you both kind of take it for granted that your interference will be appreciated and applauded, don't you?
Anyhoo, Mamaji comes to Sonakshi.
Mamaji consoles her: I know how difficult it must be for you to return to this home. I could not see your tears then and I still can't see your tears. Can you never be happy in this house with us?
Sona: It's not about everyone else. It's about Dev.
Mamaji: You fought with Dev? Dev is like that. He is Ishwari's moon. But moon has marks, no? May be Ishwari can't see it.
Sona: All fault can't be his fault, right? I must have made mistakes too. I loved a man who was someone else's moon. How could he be my sun? I still loved him. I kept loving him. Dev says that I left him. But you were here naa? You saw naa? He himself asked me to leave. Why did we have to get separated?
Mamaji nods in agreement: Beta, this question those ask who don't have faith in each other.
Sona: May be that's where we went wrong that we could not forgive each other.
Mamaji: Beta, Dev has made his heart into a stone. But I know, your heart is very big. You forgive him. You will, won't you?
Sona nods.
Mamaji leaves.
She thinks: I might forgive him. But will he forgive me for what I am doing?
Me: Well, now. That's interesting.
First of all, so far Asha, Mamaji and Elena all showed up with their expectations ki tokri on Sona's doorstep, but none approached Dev. So as usual, like typical society, whether you know anything or not, use whatever means possible to make sure the woman does all the sacrifice and she increases the threshold of her patience and understanding so that the man can waltz in and gets to keep his ego intact and have his cake too. Just like when Ishwari got Sona with a bow tied around her neck, this time, it's Asha, Elena and Mamaji's turn. Let's not make the man work. Bechare ko aadat nehin hain.
Secondly, Sonakshi has multiple times admitted that she was at fault too. Dev never did. But who cares? He will get what he wants anyway because he is a man and he deserves it.
Third, Sona said an interesting line. A man who was his mother's moon, can't be anyone's sun. That's a very important line which precisely explains the concept, "Mamma's Boy". Every man has a mother. And they eventually also become a husband. But they are not moon as in they don't circle around their mother exclusively.
But Mamma's boys are like moon who only circles around the Earth. They are no use to any other planet because well, their path is set and they can't veer from there. Unless, the planet they call mother, willingly brings the other planet inside their very little boundary, the planet will forever keep outside the path watching the moon circling their Mummy.
That's the difference between a Mamma's boy and every other man who loves their mother. This exclusivity is what is detriment to form any other healthy relationship.
Fourth, Sonakshi is aware that what she is doing is wrong by poking into Dev and Ishwari's past without their permission. Yet, she is doing it anyway. Again, for his own good.
Just like Dev knew that lying to everyone about Sonakshi's fake pregnancy was wrong. But he did it anyway. Because again, he was doing it for someone else's good.
However, the difference is that Dev never pays the price of his wrong doing. It's always someone else who gets burnt in the process while Sonakshi always faced the consequence of her actions herself.
Next day, she is back to do exactly what she knows is wrong. Spying on Ishwari's past.
She goes to the old neighbourhood where Ishwari worked and found house no. 12.
A man tells her that no one lives there anymore.
She comes to the door when a woman approaches her.
Sonakshi asked about the people of this house.
The lady says that this house had been closed for 20 years.
Sonakshi asks what happened to them.
She says that they had daughter's wedding in the house and everything was stolen. The wedding broke and they left the city.
Sona asks stupidly: That didn't happen because of Ishwari Dixit, is it?
Me: Ye Gods. Look at this idiot. If everyone knew that Ishwari did it, then won't they put her in jail? Then what leverage Khatri would have on Ishwari if everyone knew about it anyway? Good God, kisne isko Byomkesh bole bey? Badi aayee thi Nancy Drew banne. Jagga jasoos ki aukat nehin hain.
Lekin main naa kehti thi ki fraud jaisa kuch hoga. Ishwari ka pehla wala record hain. Tabhi itni safai se bete ki sign le liya. Badi khuddar aurat hain, sach. Bijoy Bose ko chor boli thi. Kaise nikla uske muh se woh words? Conscience naam ki shayed koi cheez hi nehin hain.
Anyhoo, the lady gets mighty offended that someone said anything about Ishwari Dixit. She asks who the eff is Sona to bad mouth Ishwari? Do you even know who she is?
Sona stammers: I know her. I am her daughter-in-law.
The lady is all smiles now: What? You are Ishwari's daughter-in-law, Devrath's wife? Come, darling, come.
She takes Sona to a chair.
Me: Ab yeh to nehin keh sakte ki main unke ghar ki ex-bahu hoon, aur yahan kisi ko bina bataye jasoosi karne aayee hoon. Kitna ghatiya sound karta hain, nehin?
She says that Ishwari keeps coming here. But she should think before she speaks such words about her mother-in-law.
Sona stammers: I know she can't do anything like this. It's just someone said something to me and I came to check.
Me: Honestly, Sona. Could you dig a bigger hole for yourself, darling? I don't think the one you have dug is big enough.
Now let's fire up the two brain cells you have and listen.
1. Ishwari keeps coming here. #alarmbells. You said that you are her daughter-in-law and Dev's wife. You think that this chatty lady won't vomit to Ishwari that she met her daughter-in-law recently who not-so-recently was out of her and her son's life? Guess what is going to happen to you then?
2. You claimed to be part of that family and saying that someone has said something about your mother-in-law and instead of asking her, you have come here to verify. You have already looked like enough of a fool.
The lady continues: Which bad people said such thing about Ishwari? She is a Goddess. She has rescued this area. This area has 35 houses. And everyone of the girls who get married here, only gets married with her blessings (in the form of cash, cheque or fixed deposit). Now we don't consider girls burden in this area. She has done a lot for this area.
Sonakshi thinks.
Me: I am thinking too. So let me get this straight. Now the daughters of this area are cash cows thanks to Ishwari's guilt money for their dowry. Hence no longer a burden. Bhai wah!!! Great. What an amazing story. This deserves credit, CVs. You are a beacon of making us aware of woman's worth, extra regression ka tadka marke.
So the story is, Ishwari stole money to pay for Dev's expensive education so that he can be uber rich because anything less than that is unacceptable.
The family moved away, giving proof to Khatri with which he blackmails when he feels like it.
Ishwari felt guilty so she keeps paying for girls' wedding because hey broken wedding, even due to a mishap like stolen goods means end of life for women. So they might as well die sad and lonely like Sona.
Now the entire area is happy because no need to save money for dowry. Who needs education for girls when you can pay for their dowry?
But then Ishwari didn't think her daughter deserves education, why would she pay for others' daughter's education?
Everyone says hail Goddess.
Except me. Because CVs, who the heck do you think is your audience? No really.
You wanted an excuse to make Sona a martyr. Fine.
So you invented a crime which by the way won't have been needed if Ishwari was fine sending Dev to Govt. school.
I went to a Govt. school and I went to a Bengali medium school where they started teaching English in 6th grade. That's right. I went to Jodhpur Park Girls' High School where my tuition fees were Rs. 75.25 every year. I know because my single mother used to give me Rs.80 and let me keep the rest for Phuchka (Golgappa for Delhi-ites and Panipuri for Aamchi Mumbai). In those days, I used to get 5 phuchkas for Rs. 2. I still remember that I used to get about 12 phuchkas with that money.
But I doubt anyone will be able to guess that I never went to an English medium school when they see me talking or writing in English.
My cousins went to Loretto Convent, Entally and South Point - two top notch English medium schools in India. They needed my help to do their English homework.
So what do I lack by going to a Govt. School?
Had she taken Dev to a Govt. School and he had sufficient drive, he could have been successful from there as well. May be then even Neha could have got an education. She certainly had the wish.
Except she stole from a family and continued to pay guilt money to the entire area to get their burden they call daughters, married. Sorry, I am not getting any Goddess vibes here. So if you wanted to make Ishwari more appealing, you just had done the opposite to me.
At Bose house as usual Bijoy and Saurabh are bantering when Sona comes there. Everyone greets her as if they haven't seen her in weeks. They all ask questions and hugs her.
Ronita stands away and smiles. Saurabh asks for a group hugs. Asha turns to Ronita and asks her to come and join us. Dida also tells her to come. Ronita comes to them and they all do group hugs.
Asha: Now group hug is complete.
Me: Now scroll up to where I analysed Sonakshi's statement about moon and sun. Now see this scene. See the difference between a man who loves his mother and a Mamma's boy?
Ronita will never be in Sonakshi's shoes because Bose family will never put her there.
At Dixit house, Elena hurts her foot. She tried to put balm when Vicky comes there. He says the same thing that she doesn't have to do everything.
He takes the balm and puts it in her wound.
Elena says that she thought...
Vicky says that she thought that he doesn't care. He is bad. Sometimes gets mad. But that doesn't mean that he doesn't love her. That day Dev bhai got angry at him and she stopped talking to him.
Elena: What can I do? I keep on telling you to not do things like these. But you do something that makes people shout at you. Do you know how I feel when I see people shouting at you?
Vicky: Do you know how I feel when you don't trust me like everyone else? I married you. We have to stay together forever. We should not get influenced by what outsiders say.
Elena feels pain. Vicky jokes. She smiles.
Me: That's the difference between Elena and Vicky's marriage and Dev and Sona's marriage.
1. For Vicky, everyone is an outsider in their marriage. Their marriage belongs to only Elena and him.
For Dev, Sonakshi is an outsider out of his family circle.
2. For Vicky, he can screw anyone over for money. But never leave Elena or tell her to leave.
Dev can do "bhalai" of everyone except his wife. He can tell his wife to leave any time and expects her to sit on his doorstep giving him time to sulk.
Vicky is not a super awful husband by any means. But is he a good father? Can Golu consider him to be a good father because he is halfway decent husband to his mother?
That ties it back to my point of this post. One relationship doesn't validate others.
At Bose house, Ronita is cooking. She asks Asha how is it?
Asha says that it's not good. It's perfect.
Ronita is relieved: You scared me completely.
Asha: You also scared me in the morning.
Ronita: When did I scare you?
Asha: So should I scold you to make you understand? In the morning when we were doing group hugs, why were you standing away? Is this not your family?
Ronita feels shy.
Asha touches her cheek gently: You are not less than my Saurabh to me. Whatever is Saurabh's, is yours now. Family stays together with trust. When you trust us, then you will be able to be a family and move forward. When trust is there, everything is there.
Ronita is so happy that she hugs Asha tightly. Asha laughs.
Ronita says: I trust you, Maa.
Sonakshi comes there and Ronita hugs her too. Sona hugs back and asks: Saurabh dada is looking for you.
Ronita blushes and nods and tells Asha: Maa, check the vegetables. Asha nods smilingly. Ronita leaves from there.
Me: It was such a beautiful scene. It reminded me of my mother-in-law and me. She never calls me Tia. For her, I am honey bun, my darling and Thumper (because I rush everywhere and that makes noise). She greets me with giant squeezy hugs and kisses both my cheeks. And she says good bye to me with tears in her eyes.
For my father-in-law, I am sweetheart and the daughter he never had.
She is my mother. As dear to me as my own mother as my father-in-law is the father I never had. I never had to face women like Ishwari nor men like Dev. So I don't know. My husband had always been, as he says, "My no.1 cheerleader" in no matter what I do.
So may be I don't understand the struggle enough. But it is struggle and I know that it doesn't have to be that way. This could be everyone's reality when we stop justifying what was Sona's reality.
Sona tells Asha: She is very sweet, naa.
Asha: She is sweet and very understanding. Saurabh is very lucky.
Sona: I heard when you were talking. Do you really think that trust is very important for every relationship?
Asha: Of course. A human being needs more things from relationship. But without trust, relationship crumbles. I believe that if a relationship doesn't have trust, it has nothing.
Bijoy calls Asha. She leaves from there.
Sonakshi thinks: Maa said that a relationship can only survive based on trust. So can Dev and me...
Me: No. You can't. You know why? Because both of you now lie, hide things from each other for "other's own good" and hence have zero trust on each other.
And no, only trust can't make a relationship survive. Trust is very important but there is also love, respect and understanding.
And could you stop behaving as if only your yes will change the whole deal?
Have you thought that may be Dev doesn't want to be married ever since Ishwari doesn't want any woman in his life, ever?
Idiot.
PRECAP: Khatri and Sona are talking. Khatri says that he knows that she had been investigating.
Sona stammers something, not sure what. Also don't care.
Khatri says that she has until 4 that day. If he doesn't meet Ishwari until then, he will publish Ishwari's secret in front of the whole world.
Me: And this is precisely why I wanted Sona to butt out. Until now Khatri was peeking and quietly waiting. Then Sona has to butt in and now Khatri is giving her ultimatum.
Now kindly read my thoughts up there.
Yep, good intention ke chakkar mein naa jaane kitne barbad hue.
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