Posted:
Hey everyone! I am a silent reader of this forum, because so many awesome people write here everyday and I enjoy reading them all.
I have been ruminating over the issues on KRP for awhile now, not because I have the right answers or perspective, but because this is such a mirror to real life situations that it makes you sit back and think before you say something. There is a lot of right and wrong in relationships, nobody is perfect, but they can try.
Suhana wants everybody in her life. She wants Mumma, Papa, Dadu, Asha, Sourabh Mamu, Jatin, Ishwari Dadi, Baldev "Cool" Dadu, Elena mausi, Golu, etc. She is not discriminating and choosing, she wants it all. She is a child and she is at that age where she will demand.
There is this innocent phase in a child's life, after which they suddenly stop being a child and suddenly grow up. You as a parent, either feel proud or sad, because your baby is now growing up and will start not being so verbal with his/her thoughts and wants. The child starts being diplomatic and over polite, instead of just saying what he/she wants outright. Not generalizing here.
Right now, Soha wants everyone to get along. To try, for her sake. If everyone tries hard enough and still fail, she would be very understanding herself. Do you honestly think this mature child we have been introduced to is taking this lightly? She is watching every action and reaction and response to everything and forming her own opinion. Children are very observant of adult reactions to things, believe me. (If one day I wasn't seen kissing her Daddy , my daughter will ask me to please kiss him now, so he'll stop being sad... *eyeroll*Daddy-ki-chamchi*)
Dev is trying hard to win her over. He is still in this desperate period where he feels hard pressed to make up for all the lost time of Soha's first 6 years. I'd give him this period, for him and Soha, to get to know each other and enjoy the company, the feeling of having your crazy and sweet Dad dote on you. Every kid deserves this. Coming for one hour a day in between school and tuition classes ain't gonna cut it for them to catch up.
When the honeymoon period is over, Dev will realize that parenting is not about giving your child whatever she wants. It's being there for her, making sure she's alright, and protecting her from all things that may harm her, even bad behaviour and attitude. He hasn't come to a point where he has to actually disagree and tell her off for something. All in good time.
Sonakshi is a survivor. She is poised and pragmatic, she has a complex that she must be correct and logical. But she may be brisk and abrupt to people who are not like her. Logic does not apply to emotional type people who are not ready to understand logical based people. And that is one of the problems between Ishwari and her.
The guilt Sonakshi feels over Dev missing out on Soha's childhood is still haunting her and she seems to truly want to give Dev and Soha the chance to know each other. Best option was for both of them to choose a house nearby both parents and live there with Suhana. But both Dev and Sonakshi are loyal children, and would not leave their parents. How long will they keep up this weekly arrangement? A child needs stability and routine. This arrangement will change soon, I am wondering what it will be. Because both sides are refusing to budge.
Grandparents enjoy kids more than when they were parents. They enjoy spoiling them and pampering them, as their parents do the parenting. Here both Dev and Sonakshi have to start being parents together , instead of individuals.
Bijoy dislikes Dev, because the young man isn't the slightest bit apologetic to what the Bose family were subjected to by his family..(does he not know? that they were stripped of money and home by Vicky and that loan to Sourabh?) Bijoy's anger is totally understandable. He actually liked Dev a lot in the beginning.
Dev was very angry at Bijoy for being unpleasant to his mother. Asha was the picture of elegance , when she heard Dev out, but put a stop to the diatribe against Bijoy. What kind of a husband Bijoy is, is no business of Dev's or Sona's, I love how she put that point across simply. Marriage is a journey , not a contract. People change as the years go, we adapt and change for a peaceful life. We saw a hint of what kind of a married life Asha and Bijoy had, and how they arrived at their current state. They worked at it. That was an important lesson for Sonakshi.
I'm not saying Sonakshi didn't try enough in their marriage. On the contrary she tried a lot, so did Dev, but they allowed outsiders to meddle in matters concerning only the two of them.
Now, Suhana is making them try, for her. And they are trying their best. Sonakshi is trying to be fair, even seeing that her father is being difficult, and having to manage it to help Dev. And Dev in his own way, is nice to Asha, Dida, and even brotherly to Sourabh. i find that endearing. I am fully expecting Sonakshi to see the favour returned , when they go to Ishwari Mansion.
First of all, Sonakshi won't take Mami's jibes anymore, or fall prey to Ishwari's passive innuendos, plus Dev is very different now. I bet he will be quite the gallant knight for Sonakshi back home. Because he won't want his daughter to see how mean his family was to her mother.
In the middle of all this, Suhana gets to experience first hand , why her parents' marriage failed. She is forcing everybody to be in their best behaviour whether they like it or not. And that is the best part.
Thanks for reading !!
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