Devakshi FF: Reaching Out
Part 23
Sonakshi was stunned.
"Kya kahan apney? she asked Dev, wide eyed.
Dev sighed and took a step towards her.
"Haan theek hi suna tumney. Main pyaar karta hoon tumsey. Bohot he told her smiling softly.
Sonakshi had imagined this situation in her head over and over again. She had spent sleepless nights thinking of Dev saying these words to her. But all that was before he left. She had known all along that he loved her. Their kiss had done away with whatever doubt she had. But she was scared that he didn't accept the truth. But here he was, accepting it, loud and clear, before her. Then why did he put her through all that pain?
"Aapko nahin pata main yeh kabse sunna chahti thi. She wiped a tear that made her realise that she was crying.
Dev wiped another tear away and smiled. But Sonakshi suddenly moved away.
"Phir aap mujhey chhorkey kyun gaye Dev? she asked him, not letting her emotions get the best of her.
Dev became grim faced hearing those words. He took a step back.
"Tum nahin samjhogi he said looking away.
Sonakshi's anger, which had simmered down slightly during his confession flared up again.
" Aap yeh mujhsey keh rahey hai? To the only person who understood your pain enough to try and fix it. Aap ussi ladki ko yeh keh rahey hai ki woh nahin samjhegi?
Dev looked back at Sonakshi.
"Tum nahin samajh rahi Sonakshi. I know ki mere saath reh ke tum khush nahin rehti. Mera chaley jana hi theek tha.
Sonakshi jabbed a finger on his chest, "Mere liye kya theek hai yeh aap mujhey hi decide karney de. And for your information, main bohot hi khush thi aapke saath.
Dev gripped Sonakshi's shoulders, " Abhi khush thi tum. Par kuch saal beet jatey, phir tum samajhti ki main kitna difficult hoon. Yes you helped me, apni problems se deal karne ke liye. Par yeh problem aisi hai ki woh mere saath poori life rahegi.
He removed his hands and stepped back. " Mere mood swings toh atey hi rahengey. Kabhi kabhi me teen chaar din logo se baat karna band kar deta hoon. Bina wajah unpe chillata hoon. Tumney dekha hai yeh sab kuch. Tum daily basis pe inn sabse deal kar paati?
Sonakshi was furious now. "Aapney toh mujhey chance hi nahin diya Dev. Aagar me deal karne ki koshish hi na karoon, toh kaise pata chalega ki main reh sakti hoon ya nahin. Aapney toh mujhsey poochey bina, baat kiye bina hi maan liya ki I'll be a failure. Itna hi bharosa tha aapko mujhpey?
Dev looked alarmed, "Maine aisa toh nahin kahan Sonakshi!
Sonakshi wiped the freely flowing tears once, "Par aapney aisa hi kahan Dev. Aapney thoda sa bhi bharosa nahin kiya mujhpey, humarey dosti pe, humarey pyaar pe. You just straightaway threw me out of your life!
Dev tried to calm Sonakshi. But she was past control. The dam had broken and now Dev was going to have to face the brunt of it.
"Sonakshi meri baat samajhne ki koshish karo, please! he tried to reason.
Sonakshi held up a hand silencing him, " Aapko yeh baatein tab yaad nahin ayi jab aap mere qareeb atey rahey. Tab yaad nahin ayi when you kissed me. Tab yaad nahin ayi when you knew I was falling in love with you. Ya aapney pehley se hi decide kar liya tha ki aap mera dil todengey? Boliye!
Dev couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't see her in so much pain, " Aisa mat kaho. Woh sab mere control me nahin tha. Mera tumsey pyaar karna ya tumhara mujhsey pyaar karna mere haathon me nahin tha. Agar mere haathon me hota, then I would have tried my best to stop it.
Sonakshi couldn't believe what she heard.
"Iska matlab you regret meeting me? she asked softly.
Dev didn't know how the meaning of his words managed to get twisted to Sonakshi. He took her hand in his.
"Nahin! Pagal ho tum. Why would I regret the best thing that ever happened to me? he told her in anguish.
"Toh phir kya hai Dev? Why do you want to stay away? she asked him not understanding his point.
He sighed. He would have to explain his encounter with Natasha. That is the only way she would understand.
"Jis raat main penthouse chhorke gaya, uss raat main Natasha se mila tha.
Sonakshi's eyes widened. Dev went on to narrate everything that he had told Ranveer the previous night.
" Agar usney woh na kahi hoti, toh I wouldn't have realised ki main tum par kitna bada bojh daal raha hoon.
Sonakshi didn't say anything for a long while. She just stared at Dev. Dev looked at her apprehensively.
"Kuch toh kaho Sonakshi he pleaded.
Sonakshi looked away from Dev. She had stopped crying. She took a deep breath.
"Toh aapney uss ladki ki baat suni jisne aapko itney dukh diye, par mujhsey ek baar bhi baat karne ki nahin soojhi aapko? Woh Natasha toh mujhey janti bhi nahin. Par aap toh mujhey jante hai. Usney bola aur aapney mann liya ki Sonakshi dukhi hai. Sonakshi sey poochney ki zaroorat nahin padhi ki woh khush hai ya dukhi?
Dev opened his mouth to reply.
Sonakshi beat him to it. " Aap yahan kyun aye hai Dev?
Dev furrowed his brows, "Matlab?
Sonakshi looked him in the eye, "Aap aaj mujhsey yahan kya baat karna chahtey the?
Dev was quiet for a minute. "Main yahan tumsey yeh poochney aya tha ki Jatin ke saath kya rishta hai tumhara.
Sonakshi folded her hands before her chest.
"Issey aapka kya lena dena hai? she asked him in an eerily calm tone. It was like she had suddenly switched personalities.
Now Dev was the one getting angry.
"Kya lena dena matlab? Tum kisi ladke ke saath dinner pe ja rahi ho, issey mera lena dena nahin hoga?
Sonakshi shrugged. "Obviously. Kyunki aapney hi toh mujhey apney life se nikalkar bahar phek diya. Aab main apni life e kya kar rahi hoon. It isn't any of your concern.
Dev was stunned into speechlessness for a moment.
"Tum mujhsey pyaar nahin karti? he asked exposing his vulnerability momentarily.
Sonakshi's features softened, " Haan. Bohot pyaar karti hoon. Itna jitna aap soch bhi nahin sakte.
Dev took a step towards Sonakshi, "Toh?
Sonakshi took another deep breath, " Par aapko toh mere pyaar pe bharosa hi nahin hai Dev. Main jitna bhi pyaar karoon aapse, it makes no difference kyunki aapko mere pyaar pe bharosa hi nahin!
"Aisa nahin hai! Tum kyun meri baton ko ghuma rahi ho? Dev was frustrated now.
" Forget it Dev. Jo kuch samajhna tha, main samajh gayi. Ab aap meri baat dhyaan se suniye Sonakshi told him, not wanting to discuss it any further.
"Ajke baad aap mere maamle me dakhal deney ki koshish bilkul nahin karengey. Main aapni life jaise chahey jiyungi. And I request you to stay out of it she said in a tone that conveyed the finality of her decision.
Dev's eyes widened, " Tum mujhey khud se duur kar rahi ho!
" Nahin. Woh toh aapney kiya hai. I am just making sure ki jo aapney mujhsey duur rehne ka decision liya tha, woh aap change na karein.
Dev tried to say something, but she cut him off again, " Aapney theek kahan Dev. Hum dono ke raste alag hi hona chahiye. Yahi beheter hai.
Dev shut his mouth. It seemed as if when he had uttered similar words to Sonakshi, that night at the penthouse, he didn't really comprehend it depth. Now when he heard Sonakshi repeating them, he realised what they actually meant. And he had to accept, that he couldn't bear to hear them.
"Tum...tum mujhsey duur reh paogi? he asked her, his words clearly conveying the depth of his pain.
Sonakshi looked him in the eye. She could see his pain and her pain mirrored his. But now she knew this was right. So she told him what she really felt.
" Asan nahin hoga. Main jhoot nahin bolungi. Bohot mushkil hoga, aapse duur rehna she told him honestly.
Dev took her hands again, "Toh mat karo aisa. Hum dono ko iss dar se nahin guzarna padega.
Sonakshi snatched her hands away as if his touch burned her.
"Aapney yeh tab nahin socha, jab aap mujhey chhorkey gaye? Kya tab hum dono ko dard nahin hua? Isiliye aye the naah aap, raat ko, Mr, Shukla ke ghar ke bahar? she asked him accusingly.
Dev remained quiet.
" Par phir bhi aapney ek baar bhi mujhey wapas ane ko nahin kahan. Aur main chali bhi aati. Aap ek baar kehkar toh dekhtey. I would have forgotten everything aur bina kuch sochey main chali aati aapkey paas she said, trying to calm herself.
"Par ab kya fayda Dev. Main ek aise insaan ke paas nahin reh sakti, who cannot trust my love. Cannot commit to me. Issey humari problems badengi. Kum nahin hongi! she told Dev truthfully.
"Aap hi boliye, kya aap mujhey promise kar sakte hai ki aap khudke problems ke barein me bina sochey, mere saath khush rahengey? Ki aap mujhey aapni life me poori tarah involve karengey without any guilt?
He couldn't bear losing her. But Dev couldn't answer her question either. Because he himself wasn't sure if he could do that.
"Aapkey question ka answer toh aapney khud hi de diya Dev she told him with a sad smile.
She wiped away the tears that had started rolling down again. "Aap apna khayal rakhiyega.
The moment she said that Dev panicked.
"Aisa kyun keh rahi ho tum? he asked her, refusing to come to terms with the reality.
Sonakshi didn't answer his question. Instead she said, "And I hope you wish the same for me.
Dev took a step towards her. "Aisa mat karo Sonakshi, please. Tum mere bina nahin reh paogi.
She moved away, but gave him that sad smile again, "I hope aapko koi aisi ladki miley, jiske pyaar me aap vishwas kar sako. Aur aapkey apney pyaar pe bhi.
She looked at him one last time, "Goodbye Mr. Dixit. I hope you have a great life. With that she walked off, leaving Dev standing there, shattered.
Dev felt numb as he watched her getting smaller and smaller, as she walked away from him. So he had done it again. He had ruined his own happiness. And now it was too late to fix it. He had lost her.
And to think that she had been ready to come back to him! If only he hadn't spent an eternity on self pity and reacted faster. Apologised and talked it out with her. But what was the point of thinking about that now?
She was gone. And it was all his fault. Dev felt a searing pain in his heart. How would he live without her? When he had told her that she wouldn't be able to stay without him, he had actually wanted to say that he would be miserable without her. But now, as he thought deeper, he realised miserable was a very mild way of putting it.
He was already distraught. He had lost all the happiness in his life. The meaning of it was lost. He clenched his fists when he realised that it was he, who had voluntarily given it up, by separating himself from Sonakshi, when all she wanted was to be with him.
What would he do now? He didn't want to go home and face his mother because she would take one look at him and coax out the entire story. Something that he didn't want to do. But he needed to vent his pain. And he needed someone to yell at him and tell him how wrong he was. And only one person would do it. Ranveer.
He would go and tell him that he had failed. That he had failed to keep the one person happy, whom he loved the most in the world.
Oh how he wished he could rewind time.
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So, did you like it?
You people had a lot of expectations about this Chapter. And I'm afraid i might not have lived up to all your expectations. Please forgive me if it truly is so! I gave it my best shot!
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Next update will be up on Wednesday!
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