Who are we to decide how God should act? - Page 2

Originally posted by: grace4317

What made me write this post is some member's reaction on Soha meeting Ishwari as an answer to her prayers.

To me God is not a human being. He is that super power who knows in & out of each of his creation. Each of our thoughts are known to him. He is the only one who knows us more than we know ourselves. In that case, He is the only one who knows Ishwari to the core of her heart. And as WeRocktheworld has posted in one of her posts, like how Krishna forgave & blessed Naga for poisoning Yamuna after knowing the reason behind it, same way God knows what is the reason that drives the insecurity inside Ishwari and makes her behave so. The Bible says God hates the sin; not the sinners. So if we the so-called self-righteous people will not hesitate to help someone out of a deep pit, then how will God turn His face away when someone calls out for help, especially when He is the only one who knows the real reason why that person is there. I am not sure how many of you noticed Ishwari's prayer...It really touched me when she prayed that she never complained when her partner was snatched from her; instead she had prayed only for the strength to endure that pain...Yesterday when my son shared the news of passing away of one of his friends father, leaving behind his wife, 16-yr old son & 12-yr old twin daughters, my heart got burdened thinking about their future. The pain of loosing your partner and that too a loving partner like Ishwari had, is unfathomable...I was wondered to see those supporting Sona for what all she had to go through, never for one instance thought of that moment when Ishwari lost her partner forever and was ousted from the home they lived & had to spend one night with her 3daughters on the road covered by a small blanket. Those who forgot it, go & watch Episodes 2 & 3; maybe that will help you empathise with Ishwari. In Sona's case, she had atleast her family, Jotin & all to support. Whom did Ishwari have, except for her brother? Have anybody ever thought the mental trauma she had to go through to keep her 3 daughters safe from eagle eyes. In such a situation it was Dev who gave her all the physical & emotional support. And in the midst of all these, if she never complained to God for her state & only asked for strength, who are we to question the relation God has with her. Keeping aside all the ill doings she have done till now, I would like to ask how many of you believe that her relation with Sona was predestined. Those who have a doubt, recollect the accident scene. The moment Sona meets with an accident Ishwari starts feeling uneasy and have a premonition that something bad is happening, same like she felt on the day of Dev's accident. Even Asha didn't feel so. That shows how much connected she was with Sona, though she hasn't realised it till now. So, if God is working to restore that connection by using innocent kids like Soha & Golu, it's our duty to watch it out patiently. After all it is said, Man proposes; God disposes.

In Dev's case also I personally believe that Dev challenging God was the main reason of everything going out of hand which resulted in total turmoil. But, in that case also Dev's one single moment of bowing down in front of God was answered in the form of Soha. And He gave somebody like Golu to share his feelings, because He knew how Dev was at heart. And i feel it would be for Golu that Dev will now be going to bow his head infront of God, so that he acknowledges the power of God in His life.

In all these, the one who stopped praying midway as soon as she heard about her condition is Sona. She never ever had hope for a miracle and never even prayed for it. Not even her parents.The irony is that being a doctor herself, she didn't even think of the various medical options that was available.She always believed on what she was capable of. Have we ever thought what would be her condition now, if Dev had told her about the infertilty report before marriage. She would never have married Dev and have led a lonely life; She would never have a Soha in her life. Maybe that's why she forgot all her ego, hurt & all and came to show Soha to Dev; because antar hi antar she would be feeling it was because of him, she is a complete woman today.

A woman, especially a wife is capable of much more than what she thinks of herself. Only thing is that she has to believe that God has entrusted her with special powers & strengths to build the family. Being a person who had to go through somewhat similar situations (except the infertility part) as Sona (including the protective father part) and that too always having an insecure feeling that i was not the right person for my hubby, today while completing 18yrs of my married life, I can proudly say that, with the help of Almighty I have built my beautiful & loving family. There have been both small & shocking instances where many of you, especially the feminists & younger generation here would say that I was a fool/doormat to suffer all these at the cost of my self-respect. But, till now I haven't felt so. Instead I find myself privileged to be chosen by God to prove to Him that His belief on me was true. I am an engineer by profession and being a person who was taunted for not getting a job & had to suffer a lot mentally, many of my friends called me a fool when I decided to leave my job for my son when he entered his 9th grade. Not only for his studies, but to be with him during his teenage days.Even my hubby was against it till he saw its results with his own eyes.<font color="#454545" face="arial, sans-serif">For me my son's welfare was much important than my individuality, self respect or whatever you term it as. And when God has blessed us abundantly now (which was not the case earlier) I believe more than money i have to give importance to my son's future. So ladies out there who maybe going through tough situations in their married life I would like to encourage you to develop a relation with God which will help you realizehow strong you are; to think above yourself; to wear the other person's shoes and understand their point of view; to understand the core character of your partner (which is where Sona failed when she trusted Vicky's words. The surprising part is, being the person who knew how wicked Vicky was, more than anyone in the Dixit family knew about him and had eventually challenged him that she will never allow him to destroy Dev & his company, she still trusted Vicky more than Dev. 😭).</font>

Disclaimer: I do not in any way support physically abusive husbands and advice their spouses to be patient & keep on suffering.

I am not at all justifying Ishwari's evil manipulations & crookedness, as shown in the serial. Infact i am not happy the way the makers have portrayed Ishwari, such that the unmarried girls out there watching the show would be scared to get married to boys with single mothers. For sure all single mothers, especially widowed mothers, will be insecure;but are not like Ishwari...With lots of patience, care, assurances and love from the your side you can change them and get blessed with a wonderful family life.

Also I am neither Team Dev or Team Sona. I am infact more in awe of Erica, both as an actor & as a down to earth person.

There are a lot of things I take issue with in your post. However I will refrain on sommentjng on some of them as they are your personal beliefs.
What I do find incredibly demeaning is that - Sona became a COMPLETE woman because of Dev. I'm sorry.. she was a complete woman before she met him and she will be one now. Honestly this was one reason I alwanted suha to be adopted. To stop all this "complete" woman nonsense. You wording makes it seem as if any woman who does not have children is "incomplete" and not a real woman. I do hope you open your eyes and mind to other people, their thoughts, feeling and hopes.

As for your relationship with your husband you gave no particulars and so I will not judge. However I would also like to share an anecdote with you. My mother is also an engineer like you! Who worked for around 15 years and then left her job to concentrate on me and my brother. I will always be thankful to my mother for making that sacrifice. And for those people who say it is not feminist if- they're wrong.
Also my mother and father have one of the most amazing relationships ever. They love each other yeS- but far more important is that they respect each other. My mother has not and would not ever bear any of these so called insults because quite frankly - NOBODY should have to. Whether they are male or female.

Grace, very well articulated. 👏 To each his own I would say. We have different perspectives, strength and flaws and we behave accordingly. I liked how you related your life experiences to explain the characters.

Originally posted by: grace4317

What made me write this post is some member's reaction on Soha meeting Ishwari as an answer to her prayers.

To me God is not a human being. He is that super power who knows in & out of each of his creation. Each of our thoughts are known to him. He is the only one who knows us more than we know ourselves. In that case, He is the only one who knows Ishwari to the core of her heart. And as WeRocktheworld has posted in one of her posts, like how Krishna forgave & blessed Naga for poisoning Yamuna after knowing the reason behind it, same way God knows what is the reason that drives the insecurity inside Ishwari and makes her behave so. The Bible says God hates the sin; not the sinners. So if we the so-called self-righteous people will not hesitate to help someone out of a deep pit, then how will God turn His face away when someone calls out for help, especially when He is the only one who knows the real reason why that person is there. I am not sure how many of you noticed Ishwari's prayer...It really touched me when she prayed that she never complained when her partner was snatched from her; instead she had prayed only for the strength to endure that pain...Yesterday when my son shared the news of passing away of one of his friends father, leaving behind his wife, 16-yr old son & 12-yr old twin daughters, my heart got burdened thinking about their future. The pain of loosing your partner and that too a loving partner like Ishwari had, is unfathomable...I was wondered to see those supporting Sona for what all she had to go through, never for one instance thought of that moment when Ishwari lost her partner forever and was ousted from the home they lived & had to spend one night with her 3daughters on the road covered by a small blanket. Those who forgot it, go & watch Episodes 2 & 3; maybe that will help you empathise with Ishwari. In Sona's case, she had atleast her family, Jotin & all to support. Whom did Ishwari have, except for her brother? Have anybody ever thought the mental trauma she had to go through to keep her 3 daughters safe from eagle eyes. In such a situation it was Dev who gave her all the physical & emotional support. And in the midst of all these, if she never complained to God for her state & only asked for strength, who are we to question the relation God has with her. Keeping aside all the ill doings she have done till now, I would like to ask how many of you believe that her relation with Sona was predestined. Those who have a doubt, recollect the accident scene. The moment Sona meets with an accident Ishwari starts feeling uneasy and have a premonition that something bad is happening, same like she felt on the day of Dev's accident. Even Asha didn't feel so. That shows how much connected she was with Sona, though she hasn't realised it till now. So, if God is working to restore that connection by using innocent kids like Soha & Golu, it's our duty to watch it out patiently. After all it is said, Man proposes; God disposes.

In Dev's case also I personally believe that Dev challenging God was the main reason of everything going out of hand which resulted in total turmoil. But, in that case also Dev's one single moment of bowing down in front of God was answered in the form of Soha. And He gave somebody like Golu to share his feelings, because He knew how Dev was at heart. And i feel it would be for Golu that Dev will now be going to bow his head infront of God, so that he acknowledges the power of God in His life.

In all these, the one who stopped praying midway as soon as she heard about her condition is Sona. She never ever had hope for a miracle and never even prayed for it. Not even her parents. The irony is that being a doctor herself, she didn't even think of the various medical options that was available. She always believed on what she was capable of. Have we ever thought what would be her condition now, if Dev had told her about the infertilty report before marriage. She would never have married Dev and have led a lonely life; She would never have a Soha in her life. Maybe that's why she forgot all her ego, hurt & all and came to show Soha to Dev; because antar hi antar she would be feeling it was because of him, she is a complete woman today.

A woman, especially a wife is capable of much more than what she thinks of herself. Only thing is that she has to believe that God has entrusted her with special powers & strengths to build the family. Being a person who had to go through somewhat similar situations (except the infertility part) as Sona (including the protective father part) and that too always having an insecure feeling that i was not the right person for my hubby, today while completing 18yrs of my married life, I can proudly say that, with the help of Almighty I have built my beautiful & loving family. There have been both small & shocking instances where many of you, especially the feminists & younger generation here would say that I was a fool/doormat to suffer all these at the cost of my self-respect. But, till now I haven't felt so. Instead I find myself privileged to be chosen by God to prove to Him that His belief on me was true. I am an engineer by profession and being a person who was taunted for not getting a job & had to suffer a lot mentally, many of my friends called me a fool when I decided to leave my job for my son when he entered his 9th grade. Not only for his studies, but to be with him during his teenage days. Even my hubby was against it till he saw its results with his own eyes. For me my son's welfare was much important than my individuality, self respect or whatever you term it as. And when God has blessed us abundantly now (which was not the case earlier) I believe more than money i have to give importance to my son's future. So ladies out there who maybe going through tough situations in their married life I would like to encourage you to develop a relation with God which will help you realize how strong you are; to think above yourself; to wear the other person's shoes and understand their point of view; to understand the core character of your partner (which is where Sona failed when she trusted Vicky's words. The surprising part is, being the person who knew how wicked Vicky was, more than anyone in the Dixit family knew about him and had eventually challenged him that she will never allow him to destroy Dev & his company, she still trusted Vicky more than Dev. 😭).

Disclaimer: I do not in any way support physically abusive husbands and advice their spouses to be patient & keep on suffering.

I am not at all justifying Ishwari's evil manipulations & crookedness, as shown in the serial. Infact i am not happy the way the makers have portrayed Ishwari, such that the unmarried girls out there watching the show would be scared to get married to boys with single mothers. For sure all single mothers, especially widowed mothers, will be insecure; but are not like Ishwari...With lots of patience, care, assurances and love from the your side you can change them and get blessed with a wonderful family life.

Also I am neither Team Dev or Team Sona. I am infact more in awe of Erica, both as an actor & as a down to earth person.

totally agree this part👍🏼

I felt bad too on how some members in their posts criticized Ishwari and Soha's interaction in the temple. If any person does wrong then will that person always wrong? Can't she\he be right in any situation? If we are thinking that way, then we are no less than Ishwari. Whoever commented negatively about Ishwari and Soha's interaction scenes in the temple or the Ishwari dialogues with the God, then I pity them. Will pray for their clear vision (mind and soul). I hated Ishwari for whatever wrong things she did but however, got emotional in the temple scene. Bad people also has the good side. If we are good then we can see that side of the person too.😊

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

I am really sorry but it is against the rules of the forum to ask anyone having an opinion different from yours to refrain from posting. This is an open forum meant for discussion.

Please understand that no one here is obliged to follow or agree with your beliefs. Though it is his choice as to whether he wants to ignore them or discuss them respectfully. Same way you are also entitled to ignore a post if you want.

Accordingly If you didn't like my post feel free to ignore or reply - as you wish.

Originally posted by: Nirja1994

There are a lot of things I take issue with in your post. However I will refrain on sommentjng on some of them as they are your personal beliefs.
What I do find incredibly demeaning is that - Sona became a COMPLETE woman because of Dev. I'm sorry.. she was a complete woman before she met him and she will be one now. Honestly this was one reason I alwanted suha to be adopted. To stop all this "complete" woman nonsense. You wording makes it seem as if any woman who does not have children is "incomplete" and not a real woman. I do hope you open your eyes and mind to other people, their thoughts, feeling and hopes.

As for your relationship with your husband you gave no particulars and so I will not judge. However I would also like to share an anecdote with you. My mother is also an engineer like you! Who worked for around 15 years and then left her job to concentrate on me and my brother. I will always be thankful to my mother for making that sacrifice. And for those people who say it is not feminist if- they're wrong.
Also my mother and father have one of the most amazing relationships ever. They love each other yeS- but far more important is that they respect each other. My mother has not and would not ever bear any of these so called insults because quite frankly - NOBODY should have to. Whether they are male or female.

Originally posted by: grace4317

What made me write this post is some member's reaction on Soha meeting Ishwari as an answer to her prayers.

To me God is not a human being. He is that super power who knows in & ough she hasn't realised it till now. So, if God is working to restore that connection by using innocent kids like Soha & Golu, it's our duty to watch it out patiently. After all it is said, Man proposes; God disposes.

First of all welcome to the forum Grace😃

Lovely post and very well articulated..

I may not agree with everything that u say,but I love the thought process behind it

My views:

I was also quite stupefied to see Ishwari's prayers being answers pronto.But that is mainly because I am viewing the serial just for pass time now and everything that is being shown appears outlandishly funny to me nowadays.I think this could be true for many members in the forum...

But if I keep my funny bones silent and consider that incident more seriously,I agree that strange and mysterious things happen in life because of a power beyond our control.I fully sympathize with Ishwari for what she went through and just like any human being Ishwari deserved to pray and have her prayers answered.And I can understand her desperation to meet her grand daughter..very natural...Inspite of all this,I don't like Ishwari .

I believe that everyone gets their share of happiness and burdens in life...It is simply about how we chose to wear those badges ..,the reason I don't like Ishwari is not because of who/what she is but because of who she chooses to be.She chooses to flaunt her sadness and her struggles,wears her troubles and pains on her sleeve and ignores her blessings...Sona,on the other hand chooses to wear her badge of happiness with pride and confidence...This explains the huge fan following for Sona and the lack of empathy for Ishwari...It is not what they did,it is who they chose to be from what God gave to them...If Ishwari had gone to the temple and said "God u have been so kind to me.U have given me a wonderful and doting son,three lovely daughters,all the material wealth I can ever ask for,a caring brother and good health...I am ashamed to ask u for more...but plz can I meet my poti?"..I would have applauded her and rooted for her all the way👏👏..But she chose to put down her list of complaints...and added one more complaint to that list...That attitude drives away people who might want to sympathize with her...Rest,of course,is God's wish and decision

In Dev's case also I personally believe that Dev challenging God was the main reason of everything going out of hand which resulted in total turmoil. But, in that case also Dev's one single moment of bowing ... Maybe that's why she forgot all her ego, hurt & all and came to show Soha to Dev; because antar hi antar she would be feeling it was because of him, she is a complete woman today.

I agree that had Dev shared Sona's infertility reports with Sona before marriage she would have been broken.But I politely disagree that she would have led a lonely life or been an incomplete woman.I believe that every human being is complete in themselves..and one can be lonely in acrowd or happy when alone.Sona has the quality to find happiness..she would have found it anyway...But yes,I do agree that she left her brains at home when she came and trusted what Vicky said..That was stupidity at its height..It cost her her relationship with Dev which she so lovingly built.

A woman, especially a wife is capable of much more than what she thinks of herself. Only thing is that she has to believe that God has entrusted her with special powers & strengths to build the family. Being a person who had to go through somewhat similar situations (except the infertility part) as Sona (including the protective father part) and that too always having an insecure feeling that i was not the right person for my hubby, today while completing 18yrs of my married life, I can proudly say that, with the help of Almighty I have built my beautiful & loving family. There have been both small & shocking instances where many of you, especially the feminists & younger generation here would say that I was a fool/doormat to suffer all these at the cost of my self-respect. But, till now I haven't felt so. Instead I find myself privileged to be chosen by God to prove to Him that His belief on me was true. I am an engineer by profession and being a person who was taunted for not getting a job & had to suffer a lot mentally, many of my friends called me a fool when I decided to leave my job for my son when he entered his 9th grade. Not only for his studies, but to be with him during his teenage days. Even my hubby was against it till he saw its results with his own eyes. For me my son's welfare was much important than my individuality, self respect or whatever you term it as. And when God has blessed us abundantly now (which was not the case earlier) I believe more than money i have to give importance to my son's future. So ladies out there who maybe going through tough situations in their married life I would like to encourage you to develop a relation with God which will help you realize how strong you are; to think above yourself; to wear the other person's shoes and understand their point of view; to understand the core character of your partner (which is where Sona failed when she trusted Vicky's words. The surprising part is, being the person who knew how wicked Vicky was, more than anyone in the Dixit family knew about him and had eventually challenged him that she will never allow him to destroy Dev & his company, she still trusted Vicky more than Dev. 😭).

Disclaimer: I do not in any way support physically abusive husbands and advice their spouses to be patient & keep on suffering.

As for take on marriages ,I believe that it is a very personal thing...I do agree that marriage is about trade offs..If a person in unwilling to make any compromise,he/she should not get married..But making the right trade offs is important...The tipping point for each individual in a marriage is different..It depends on circumstances,nature,upbringing and individual patience...I believe that life in general has ups and downs...Whether a person chooses to face her/his trials in a married life or by being separated/divorced is an individual choice...

But I would disgaree partly with ur take on abusive marriages...I believe that no human being should bear any abuse silently(be it emotional or physical)..If physical abuse (at an extreme) can harm a person's life, emotional abuse can eat away at the core of the individual leaving a walking dead body with no soul,confidence,happiness or emotions to speak of.Extreme and prolonged emotional abuse kills the person while keeping them alive...If physical abuse is an accident that kills in an instant,emotional abuse is a virus that slowly kills...Both are equally bad and both lead to death (of the individual ultimately)...To ask an individual how she would choose to die or to tell her that she should remain silent and tolerate it if a virus kills her but speak out when a truck hits her is stupidity.And let us not forget,physical abuse is the last step and always occurs because a person silently tolerates all other abuse(including emotional)...I speak from the pov of a woman who has seen both physical and emotional abuse and I believe that If a person does not speak out during emotional abuse , then he/she can never be expected to leave during physical abuse.

I appreciate and am really thankful that your marriage worked out fine and your trials bore fruit.But i personally believe that urs was among the rarer cases.Most people who are in any kind of abusive marriage continue to be victims for a life time..Over a period of time they lose the will to fight and are walking zombies.So I would never ever endorse that a person should tolerate any kind of abuse ever...To tolerate abuse in the hope that it will lead to a better future or change of heart in the abuser is the ultimate stupidity...I believe that one should fight back at the first sign of abuse..Fightback does not mean walking out of a marriage..It can be done in various ways...But fight,u must😊

rock & roll- loved this part of your post:

Originally posted by: grace4317

Payalji...thank u for that tiny whack of love😊...I cudn't reply yesterday as I had crossed the limits of posts as a Newbie. I didn't really mean that anyone who disagree with my post should refrain from commenting. What I wanted to convery is that I am not interested to have a debate on my religious beliefs. Because, the purpose of mentioning about that belief was just to tell Minnie that what my thoughts was based upon and why so. Anyhow, aage se me in dhyaan rakhunga.

I also read your reply to my main post. All I can say is no human can predict how God works out His way.

@grace4317, you make a few good points but some questions glaringly obvious remain unanswered.

I as a viewer have never taken exception to Ishwari's love for her son or Bijoy's protectiveness to his daughter. Only yesterday my 17 year old daughter came home from school and declared she is till a child and wants a snack and glass of milk when she walks in! Point is, children need it and it is a parents job. When does one stop being a parent? Never!

As an adult in society though, Ishwari is rather unique and disappointing. She had a daughter at home who was separated from her husband, so there was no lack of first hand experience, still she chose to behave the way she did with Sona.

Dev, now, is a son first and there is nothing wrong with that. Until the pregnancy drama started, most things portrayed in Dev's and Sona's life were quite normal. Who doesn't have arguments and misunderstandings.

Dev first serious mistake was not in hiding the report but prolonging the inevitable. That caused a huge rift and at that point it was his failure to acknowledge what a tough spot he has put Sona in. She forgave him easily but did his mother forgive Sona or Dev? Love should teach us something right? If his mother's love taught him to accept her disappointment and find solutions how did he make it up to the Boses? What hurts as a mother, as a girl brought up equally to her brother in this world is even today when a girl gets married, the girl's family becomes nobody? And it absolutely hurts if there are women in this forum who turn a blind eye to this. Dev was even willing to put Riya's life in jeopardy? How naive is he? In my book that is his first grave mistake.

Dev investing money in Saurabh's business, his family and his in-laws arguing and Sona doing everything to return is all part of living. Dev and Sona arguing in their bedroom and again in their living room is all fine. I can even accept Dev, after his mother falls down, to look at Sona and say go away. When the rest of your family repeat the same, why didn't his antenna go up? When we love some one even a toy, its okay for me to abandon it on the floor but its only natural to get cross when someone else steps on it? I can tell my husband he is being stupid but I get cross when my children copy me.
It is not like his mother was seriously hurt or unconscious. He should have controlled the situation. Dev keeping quiet at that point was his next grave mistake.

Dev then chooses to sulk and drink in his cousin's company. In the meantime, Ishwari tell him Boses are homeless because of him and then Sona comes along to find out why he did what he did. Sona is shown the prenup and she gets furious. The question is why didn't Dev do anything in the meantime? Why didn't he take a taxi to go to the Boses and tell Sona this was all a big mistake, his mother has asked him to make the choice and he chooses her? Was he inebriated? If he was then why do we expect Sona to believe a drunkard? To me, thats his third grave mistake, the final straw.

As a woman, I feel very strongly when Dev's mistakes above are justified. In some sense this is feminism right - expecting to be treated fair and equal? In other sense, I believe girls are delicate and boys need to be taught chivalry and it is revolting to watch a woman not being treated as something precious.
Why is anger and despise fair and equal but not love and vulnerability? Why should Sona be expected to have been more tolerant, more understanding, more loving, more faithful and just be more giving to the man? Its reality right, some of us are good at organising and we end up as secretaries, some one of us are good at rangoli and we only make it as far as rangoli on our streets and not next Picasso? My point is, what we want to see is close to reality where Dev accepts that his actions have repercussions and he is where he is not because of Sona but his own choices. Showing hatred might be cute but show us some chivalry and macho-ness in his behaviour not in 70s demin look please!