Snakes and Ladders-Playing it your way

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rock&roll

@rock&roll

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

A couple of months back I had made a post called Snakes and Ladders.In that post I had mentioned that the master manipulator Ishwari was playing a game called Snakes and Ladders with Sona(her new bahu).The prize for the winner would be Mr Dev Dixit.

Link to my post

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4756625

The important points and rules were:

1) The person who makes a sacrifice for Dev and makes it known to him subtly climbs the ladder. The other player automatically slips.(btw these games actually go on in real life..So young ladies,beware😉)

2) Since Ishwari knows Dev inside out and the game was being played in Ishwari's homeground, the stakes favoured Ishwari heavily.

3)Poor Sona unfortunately never knew the first thing about such games since she didn't hail from such a family 😆.

At that time I had mentioned in my post that in the long run, even if Ishwari wins the game and gets her prize, her son's life is screwed. Her son's life is completely intertwined with Sonakshi's life ,so if Sona slips Dev slips too...Worse,if Sona stops playing for the prize(which means she loses interest in keeping her hubby or his family happy),then Ishwari wins the battle but loses the war. She wins Dev but loses his happiness forever.

This happened ultimately.Sona(who was never aware of such a game to start with)stopped playing the game and Ishwari revelled in the glory of not only winning the game and her prize(Dev)but also ousting the opponent permanently.But when she began her victory march she realized that she had won Dev but lost her son and his happiness.Yesterday Ishwari's game came full cycle.For the first time Dev asked to stop playing her game.👏👏👏He told her that he was neither a participant nor a prize in her game anymore👍🏼. Ishwari ki billi ne use hi meeow kar diya😉.No wonder she looked lost.Zindagi bhar snakes and ladders khela hai,aur ab achanak bolte ho ki ludo khelo🤣

Ok now on a serious note, I have a general question to our forum wasis

Have any of you encountered mothers in law like Ishwariji😉 in real life?Any experiences with such psycho cases?Please let me know...Really curious here
How would you handle a mother in law like Ishwari?(I mean,hypothetically if you had been in Sona's shoes)?

Waiting for answers and suggestions.Let the creative juices flow.😃😃

Edited by rock&roll - 8 years ago

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Frequent Posters

fangirl-rt

@fangirl-rt

Explorer

Posted: 8 years ago

Yes.. have encountered someone like Ishwari and learned it hard way that it is not worth playing the game... Not that one would not win but it was never on agenda to begin with...

If there is difference in life style, stay at home MIL vs working DIL, it is way more difficult to keep up with all the cunning plans... Best is to take practical decisions keeping most of the interests in mind... migrate, shift to another city whatever possible... and if you procrastinate, nature has its way..

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OrangeShip

@OrangeShip

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

Superb thoughts!

My friend's MIL was a bit wierd. Not like Ishwari but having double standards. She used to question my friend's homekeeping methods, cooking methods etc but did not teach her own daughter anything. Her own daughter could not even re-heat prepared food when she was in college going age.
But she just used to keep quiet and then when she had a baby things got better. Though it still angers me that she troubled my friend for such petty things that dont even matter.

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Shaun

@Jade0001

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

My Daadima was like Ishwari and maybe even worst in some instances , My Daadima hails from Pakistan has five sons four of them married Pakistani women while my dad married a Spanish woman

though my mum belongs to the same religion as my dad her culture and upbringing is very different this caused lots of problems for her then the fact that she was an independent woman as she had her law firm in Spain was totally a disadvantage to her . though my mother tried breaking the barriers at that time it just added to her misery . the only fact that kept my mother in her in laws house was that she had given birth twice to boys but by her third pregnancy my Daadima now demanded a girl child otherwise my mother had to leave and that's when my mom finally took a stand , took her two sons left my Daadima's house and Pakistan

today my Daadima leaves with us in our country if she has to visit Pakistan she is there for 3months at the most , today she respects my mom she has learned the very hard way but she dealt with insecurities her obsessed love and control for all her sons

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AngelsFlyAlone

@AngelsFlyAlone

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

What a fantastic post! Some really good anology here with snakes and ladders and such a parallel way if connecting with the story. I'm fourteen so marriage are not in the cards yet (and may never be because hell no I ain't ever getting married and I know every girl may say that but I'm bloody serious.)

However, if I was Sonakshi, by now I'd have stabbed my mother in law, rather my ex mil. Because the fact that you have to deem this as a normal lifestyle to even be remotely related or in contact with such a leech, I cannot imagine. I'm obviously joking about the stabbing but Jesus I'd be more than happy to divorce and escape a madhouse as the dixit home.

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AngelsFlyAlone

@AngelsFlyAlone

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

This was a heartbreaking read. Hope y'all are doing fine, Jade. God bless you!

On a lighter note, however, I do know mixed babies are absolutely breathtakingly beautiful so I'm sure you're a charming Pakistani Spaniard and gosh you must be so pretty.

Originally posted by: Jade0001
My Daadima was like Ishwari and maybe even worst in some instances , My Daadima hails from Pakistan has five sons four of them married Pakistani women while my dad married a Spanish woman
though my mum belongs to the same religion as my dad her culture and upbringing is very different this caused lots of problems for her then the fact that she was an independent woman as she had her law firm in Spain was totally a disadvantage to her . though my mother tried breaking the barriers at that time it just added to her misery . the only fact that kept my mother in her in laws house was that she had given birth twice to boys but by her third pregnancy my Daadima now demanded a girl child otherwise my mother had to leave and that's when my mom finally took a stand , took her two sons left my Daadima's house and Pakistan
today my Daadima leaves with us in our country if she has to visit Pakistan she is there for 3months at the most , today she respects my mom she has learned the very hard way but she dealt with insecurities her obsessed love and control for all her sons

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@NBT-BV

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

I know at least 2 ladies like Ish with sons like Dev - not to that extent but sort of Mamas boys. In one case the DIL is just managing with difficulty and leaves the home quite often with her son to her parents home for 2-3 months then comes back for 1-2 months just to leave for another cycle. The grandson is the real sufferer.

In another case its at the brink of separation.

Your 2nd question is totally hypothetical. The circumstances are not within the control of DIL bcoz the husband is the mamas buy. The balancing act has to be from the son who has to stop behaving a mamas boy.

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fangirl-rt

@fangirl-rt

Explorer

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: NBT-BV
I know at least 2 ladies like Ish with sons like Dev - not to that extent but sort of Mamas boys. In one case the DIL is just managing with difficulty and leaves the home quite often with her son to her parents home for 2-3 months then comes back for 1-2 months just to leave for another cycle. The grandson is the real sufferer.
In another case its at the brink of separation.

Your 2nd question is totally hypothetical. The circumstances are not within the control of DIL bcoz the husband is the mamas buy. The balancing act has to be from the son who has to stop behaving a mamas boy.

totally agree with the 2nd part...to come up with solution, it is important for the son to recognize the issue else it will go the way serial way... Most often, separation on the pretext of job/short term relocation will help the other party to realize the problem...hopefully...

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rock&roll

@rock&roll

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: fangirl-rt

Yes.. have encountered someone like Ishwari and learned it hard way that it is not worth playing the game... Not that one would not win but it was never on agenda to begin with...

If there is difference in life style, stay at home MIL vs working DIL, it is way more difficult to keep up with all the cunning plans... Best is to take practical decisions keeping most of the interests in mind... migrate, shift to another city whatever possible... and if you procrastinate, nature has its way..

Whooo..Tough experience that must have been...Glad that you are out of there.Thank you for sharing your experience and all the best dear😊

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rock&roll

@rock&roll

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: Pooja118
Superb thoughts!

My friend's MIL was a bit wierd. Not like Ishwari but having double standards. She used to question my friend's homekeeping methods, cooking methods etc but did not teach her own daughter anything. Her own daughter could not even re-heat prepared food when she was in college going age.
But she just used to keep quiet and then when she had a baby things got better. Though it still angers me that she troubled my friend for such petty things that dont even matter.

I understand that it must be extremely difficult to handle such mothers in law.Such double standards are indeed tough to manage.Hope your friend is doing well now.

Thank you for sharing your experience😊

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Snakes and Ladders-Playing it your way

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