Originally posted by: Aazeen02
I have always written down my personal life experiences here as much as it has been relatable to the show.
I will do the same this time as well...
This week was a complete contradiction to my thinking, lifestyle, attitudes and beliefs.
To name two of them here.
First, addressing to the jhoola issue, and the injuries that came along, and it being a maut ka saamaan...
I was in my 3rd grade, an 8 years old child I was, (Gosh! Yahan pe bhi I am going into the aath saal wala flashback đ¤Ł) when I and my sister got a room separate from our parents' room. Until then, I had been sleeping with my parents and since I was the youngest in the family, I was made to sleep on the extreme corner of the master bed with a wall and pillows on one side and my mother sleeping on the other side of me, and I was always protected and cocooned in the softness and protection on the pillows and my mother, whenever I shifted in my sleep, they both protected me.
when I got this new room and I and my sister slept on that double bed, I used to remain the same careless while sleeping and every now and then I used to shift during my sleep and would topple down from the bed onto the hard ground. And it used to hit me very bad, with me getting hurt with the floor or my head would bang with the foot of any chair, or something like that.
It took me two years to finally learn to sleep carefully and eventually the frequency of me falling down lessen down, and finally I got how to sleep on my bed even when I am sleeping alone.
.
Now my question is, if everytime my mother saw me fallen down from the bed and crying in my sleep after that, and had she picked me up and took me to her room saying: Awww mera baby, gir gaya bed se... Bad bed... Hata denge hum uss bed ko... ok... tum toh mere saath hi sona...
How would my sister have felt to get that bed removed from the room? She would have rather said that I should be more careful and stuff.
or would I have grown had my mother just removed that bed?
Logical?
Then when an 8 years old child can adjust and learn to be careful, is it that difficult for a 28 years old to get habitual about that stupid swing and not complain to mommy dearest about a hurting foot?
Second, another contradiction :
Removal of that swing.
I understand, it may be logical to some people to get that swing removed, since it was hurting dev everytime.
Quoting ishwari's words exactly :"Jab se ye (jhoola) aaya hai, sirf dev ko chot de raha hai."
In short, this new change is hurtful and hence removed.
I wanted to add an instant line to Ishwari's words.
"Aur jab se sonakshi iss ghar mein aayi hai, usko bhi sirf dard diya jaa raha hai."
Did Ishwari ever thought about it?
Ishwari and her children had certain dreams and they should be fulfilled... Be it neha divorcing her husband because she couldn't see rich life all her childhood and her husband can't provide. Her dreams are of a comfortable, and materialistic life.
And Sonakshi? was she living on the bed of roses with a silver spoon in her mouth when she was born? She doesn't have dreams? Her choices? Her wishes?
Each girl when she is born, however life she is living, strives to make herself a better person, to earn better or to live better, and dreams to fulfill them in her "own" home one day with the capabilities she holds.
Sonakshi never asked, nor did she complained about her dreams to her parents. She just quietly dreamt and then when her husband proposes her to have a room according to her choices, she starts knitting her dreams into reality.
To eventually be told that her dreams are a discomfort, and without any say or any accent from you, your dream is removed from your room.
And you are supposed to smile and say - Yeah! It's fine! I have no problems getting my dreams shattered. After all they were just some petty dreams. And dreams should be limited to the level of being intangible. Because once they start taking shape, they become a discomfort to the same people who profess to love you more than themselves.
.
I tried, I genuinely tried. I tried accepting this situation in my head, telling it's ok. I watched the episode, atleast 5 times to digest this particular scene and sonakshi's reactions.
And until now, I am unable to accept this...
I cannot stand in sonakshi's shoes at all. I am just not able to be able to stand at that point and smile at ishwari.
If not quarrelling with ishwari, since she is elder to me, I would have quietly left that place and got to my room.
And to top over it, neha telling her that there are certain rules and regulations set by maa and bhai that no one can break. And Neha you yourself telling that in your sasural, you didn't have the space to breathe your dreams. Did you just try to realize and fathom that your sonakshi bhabhi is going through exactly the same situation, where she is promised of letting her dreams fulfill. (Since they have money, if you think that is what counts to fulfill dreams) It did not take your mother, your aunt and brother more than a few days to shatter her dream and fantasy to be thrown out of her very room.
Do you think, that Sonakshi is having any better life than yours? Really? She cannot buy her dreams even when they have money to buy them. Now do you realize that marriage has nothing to do with money. When there's no empathy towards the emotions and sentiments of each other, even money doesn't help.
.
I don't know what to bring a conclusion out of this entire episode. It gives me a very depressed feeling. No good scenes, be it devakshi scenes, ishwari siding with sonakshi in front of mami to not call her Bangalan or asking sona's opinions for Dev's birthday, or sona being happy and crying for the acceptance.
Nothing, absolutely nothing makes me happy about this show this week. And the sole reason for this is Dev.
My God knows alone, I have loved no other character in krpkab more than Dev's character. He is that flawed character that I loved even when he broke sonakshi's heart during breakup. I loved him even when he had turned into a nasty stalker. I loved him even when he left his newly Wedded wife alone the next day of marriage for some petty ego. I loved him every way...
But Dev, nobody but you know the deepest meaning of the word "Maa". What this one addressal of a person means to you.
When you called Asha as maa, I don't doubt your intentions... I know you meant it to her, when you served her food and made her eat with your hand calling her maa was a very genuine thing for you. Because if Sonakshi means someone so dear, that person automatically becomes dear to u, and you have tried proving it to your in laws that you are probably the best son in law to them.
But Dev, once your mother's insecurity came to the fore you dusted the maa out of Asha maa so easily? Just like you had dusted Sonakshi out of your life when your mother took sleeping pills...?
Nothing has changed... Has it? For the fact that you are married? But you are still the same. Very much the character you are. Who gets blinded by the first fog of insecurity by your mother.
And what is with the lies you are speaking to Sonakshi? Lies about the maa issue, lies about the swing, lies about the lights, lies about the clothes... Are you the same person who would go to the length of calling sonakshi at midnight telling that you are not feeling easy, and can you take sleeping pill for the night? are you the one who said, my happiness lies where sonakshi's happy.
And do you think lies sustain? They have the tendency to break through. And when she will come across all this, do you think you would be in a condition left to be running after her again? Or would she even tolerate to see you around?
Yesterday you said a very symbolic dialogue in the end of the episode...
"Ab ye kamra mere kamre jaisa lag raha hai... Kya meri life reverse mein chali gayi hai?"
Oh yes my love! Keep it up the way you are doing. Your life has started moving in the reverse gear. And it won't take you long to reach a month and a half ago in that reverse gear, before you realise that you got married to a girl you swore that you loved the most.
Catch up with your fifth or if your life can provide a sixth or seventh gear... Coz the way you set your life going in the reverse order, achhe din are not what Modi had promised, are for you. You'd be demonetised like that 1000 rupees note that only your mother can keep and dwell in the past of glory about their raja beta 1000 ka note that would be invalid for the entire country and nobody willing to deal with. Your mother also won't be able to.
Get a grip.
A totally disappointed fan!
Shiv Shakti
