Posted:
I am thoroughly enjoying the way the writers are playing with the motif of the room, to shed a little more light on the current state of Dev and Sonakshi's relationship. It's amazing how their rooms mirror their inner lives and the ways in which they are choosing to present them -- or not -- to one another.
Dev's Room
Sona has been given full access to exist in Dev's room, but not much more. This is largely thanks to the tradition that mandates a woman to live with her husband's family after marriage. Dev has let her in and just assumed that she liked everything the way it was, becuase she didn't say otherwise. This shows how easy it is for Dev so say that Sona is part of his family, a legitimate resident of his room, but how difficult it is for him to understand what she needs to make this feel like her home: somewhere that she belongs, rather than a place she merely inhabits. It's very similar with Dev's feelings. Sona is beginning to understand his family and his feelings by default, because she is surrounded by them all the time, but she is not allowed to change anything or draw attention to herself.
All that is changing with this swing. Finally, Sona is making her presence known, and staking a claim on the space that is supposed to be hers. She is literally making a place for herself in Dev's room. Dev's constant tripping over it (in the promo) shows just how much he forgets that things are different now because he is married. He needs to become conscious that his life has changed, that his routines and habits have to change, just as he has to understand that his path around his room has to change, if he doesn't want to continue hurting himself, and making Sona feel like an unwelcome intruder. This is a great lesson to newly-married men whose wives come to live with them: don't overlook how much of an adjustment your wife is making, just because everything looks the same -- only better -- to you!
All this time we saw Sona's adjustment period, now it is Dev's turn. A big part of this process will be purging Ishwari's presence from the physical space of Dev's room, and the mental space of his marriage. Right now, Ishwari is omnipresent in Dev's life, and all Sona is asking for, is a small space that is hers alone. Ishwari and Dev are still the only ones who have the key to the safe in Dev's room: the most interior part of Dev's room, reflecting the most guarded parts of his psyche. Until Sona is able divest Ishwari of that key, and have total control of it herself, this room cannot be a sanctuary for their marriage. For Sona to demand a space in which Ishwari is not present is both valid and necessary for her to continue to be herself, and therefore to be what Dev needs.
Finally, does the simplicity of Dev's room actually reflect his taste, or merely his lack of personal desire before the advent of Sona in his life? After all, Ishwari thought that her love was more than enough for Dev, that he was content just to be their family's breadwinner and her ideal son, but she turned out to be entirely wrong about that. When Dev and Sona first met, their differences grated on one another, but over time, they came to understand why they needed each other. Dev may not immediately take to the swing, but perhaps it has lessons to teach him about whimsy, idleness, and weaving dreams.
Sona's Room
Sona's room has always been her sanctuary. It's where her achievements are recorded, where she dreamt her beautiful dreams, but most of all, it's where she goes to lock everyone else out and release her deepest feelings, the ones that betray her facade of constant strength and dignity. Two things were very signifcant to me during Sona and Dev's stay at the Bose home. 1. Till the end, Sona never let Dev into her room, and 2. Dev only tried to enter Sona's room because there was trouble in paradise. Again, it paralleled their roadside conversation perfectly. Dev knocked one set of doors down, with his insistence on communication and the problem of the hour was solved, but what of Sona's other worries?
I do commend Dev for the way he coerced Sona into talking, since her greatest challenge is allowing others to see that she isn't invincible, that she too has the capacity to be hurt by their actions. But what bothered me was that Dev only spends puts in this effort when she is unhappy, thereby making him unhappy. When he has discovered he has the ability to make her communicate her vulnerabilities, when he knows how much she struggles to do this, why not try to break those walls down at other times? Why not allow himself to listen then?
Only then will Sona discuss things with Dev that don't necessarily effect him, but that are playing on her mind, like the situation with Saurabh. That is what I think Sona's room represents, and she is not letting Dev in simply because he has not banged the door down... the way her family does when they are worried about her. There is no doubt that Sona is an incredibly mature and sorted person, but she comes with her own baggage as well. Her family's reliance on her, and her father's emphasis on pride, has put enormous amounts of pressure on her to be invincible, which makes it very difficult for her to let anyone in voluntarily. It's doubly scary with Dev because of the break-up, whicih is why I think Dev needs to learn to be more vigilant about Sona's feelings. She doesn't necessarily express them verbally (just as she didn't let him into her room) so he has to find other ways to be more in tune.
In short, Dev needs to barge into Sona's room sometimes so she can see that he loves her even when she isn't perfect. And maybe it wouldn't hurt to try entering her room when she was in a mood to welcome him, rather than only when she is trying to throw him out?
So much fun watching this transition unfold; I don't think I've ever seen anything like it!
Jhanak
