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lavanya

@dlavanya

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#71

Today i dont agree with your pov at all.. Here is what i think...

Ishwari said to dev and bijoy
Tere sasural waalone tujhe aur sonakshi ko adhi raat ko ghar se bahar nikaldiya aur tab bhi tu apne ghar wapas nahi aaya

Wajah chahe jo bhi ho aapko itna tho pata hi hai ki delhi raat ko ladkiyonkeliye kya ladkon keliye bhi safe nahi hai (true bijoy said they had each other and were not alone- didnt nirbhaya had a male friend with her).

Mein ne mehnat karke itna tho kiya ki dev and kids are never slept on road even when we had nothing...

Honestly, ishwari did not say anything insulting to bijoy. She was just speaking her mind and saying truth and only truth. If my mom was in her situation she would have said exactly same thing..
There was nothing wrong in what she said so i dont see why dev or sona has to shut her up. But dev did say maa and she stopped there and not continued afterwards.

Bijoys intention was right but his tareeka was wrong . He could have locked both of them in sonas room and told them he would open only when they sort out the diffs... I really dont aupport him throwing them out when sona is not willing to sit and talk . It is not that they will just sit on the stairs of their house and sort out the diffs . Instead sona was roaming on the streets at 2 am . What if dev had left and what if those two men were stronger than dev and are not good ppl.

Ishwari asked very valid questions and none of them had answers. If something would have happened who would be responsible for that. Two ppl who r in their sense would have made a decision to sit in the car and discuss rather than roaming on streets..

Also when they returned to dixit house , gkb did not say anything wrong and ofcourse he carried on her taunting... But dev did defend sona and her family in that scene and told that it was his decision to go there and stay there and he even said bijoy did it for their own good.. So not sure what else is expected of him at that point.. Slap gkb ??

Also let me tell you asha was screaming at bijoy for the exact same concerns that ishwari raised- it is about safety rather than damand ki izzat..

Just imagine ishwari's condition - bijoy tells her he threw them out at 2 am. One thing i saw is that ishwari was not just worried abt dev but sona too. She said bacchonko nikaldiya .. Etc if u see all the scenes again... So after she got to know that they were sent out and they did not reach home or make a call or even in the morning they did not call her when dev and sona came back... What all must be going through the moms mind.. It is very scary. I thibk still she was very polite and just spoke truth in the morning and all are valid concerns and statements.

Ps: if it was my mom in ishwaris place , she would have beaten the shit out of him. Moms are like that if we start from destination A and do not reach destination B according to all calculations, and if we dont call and inform that we have reached - they get paranoid and start imagining the worse... It doesnt mean that they think we r kids and we cant handle problems if any... It is just a natural protective streak that is found in all mothers

Edited by dlavanya - 9 years ago

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ltelidevara

@ltelidevara

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 9 years ago

#72

@ Divanya thanks a lot for your post. Exactly my feelings. Thanks again.

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WeRockTheWorld

@WeRockTheWorld

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#73

Originally posted by: Tinkerfairy
Supriyaji is very talented actress ,I have started this show for her only .It's pity how her character has gone into toss.whenever she told us to wait for ishwari's growth ,how it was her Journey from best mother to best MIL ,i feel really sad because it was responsibity of writers to convey more effectively ,if audience are not understanding Ishwari ,it was failure from writers part not audience.

An actor should be judged by the acting skills . I think all three are doing justice to the character that they are portraying. Supriya ji especially is doing fantastic...her expressions while translating insecurity on to the screen is fantastic...we hate the character of Ishwari is primarily because Supriya ji is able to act so well...I think as an artist she has grown one step higher by taking up this role.

From day 1 makers have told us the story has more to do with journey of Ishwari from being a mother to mother in law...thats the core...love story of Dev and Sona revolves around it because for mom to be mom in law her son has to have a wife...in all the three initial promos though we get to see the lead pairs ...the talk is always around his mother...the unseen main lead ...his mom ..Ishwari!!

So for me I dont think actors of this serial has lost any thing professionally I feel they have only gained from this...they are doing a fantastic job...its because of their acting skills that we all are so glued to this serial !!

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lavanya

@dlavanya

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#74

Originally posted by: tia.o

Again I don't agree with any of your answers . So let's agree to disagree.

I don't feel ishwari insulted bijoy- she just questioned him if he knew all the things that could have happened.

Yes Son and damad can't be treated same way - not because SIL deserves more respect but because you have not given birth to your SIL and you can't make decisions for them.

It is about safety and not Izzat here . I believe everyone - first Sona ( by not willing to talk to dev and speak out her problems and roaming on the streets like a kid with out common sense), dev by not informing his decision to stay back or call his mom in the morning when they returned and bijoy by asking them to go out and sort it out. May be a sober bijoy would have made better choices.

If Sona and dev had endeded up like nirbhaya and her friend who should be blamed?? Is that only when ishwari gets the right to scream at bijoy. What he did was wrong and let's not support him.

In Friday's episode I did not find ishwaris words or actions cringeworthy. Only scene where she showed her insecurity was when she remembered how dev was feeding asha.

If bijoy can ask ishwari to get out when she came begging Sona to marry dev then I don't see any reason why ishwari should not be pissed off at bijoy for asking dev and Sona to go out of the house at 2 am.

Ps: she did not ask all the questions to bijoy. She asked only the one where she said Delhi is not safe so you should know better and also the statement where she said I never let dev be on streets even when we were poor... all the rest were aimed at dev

Edited by dlavanya - 9 years ago

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#75

I am absolutely fine with you not agreeing with me. As I repeatedly mentioned that's absolutely all right in my post.

About Sona and Dev getting into trouble, again if they got into trouble because they were stupid enough to roam the street at night, then as I mentioned in my yesterday's post, it would have been their stupidity. As I said Ishwari assumed they spent night on the road, we know they spent the night on the road, Bijoy Bose might have also assumed that they would have gone to a 5 star hotel which is a more intelligent assumption than Ishwari's.

Bijoy threw Ishwari out of his house when she came to ask Sona's hand in marriage and Bijoy threw Dev and Sona out of his house. Because it's HIS house. Just like Dev threw Ranveer out of his house because it's HIS house. Ranveer's bhabhi or mother didn't come to complaint their treatment of their son-in-law at that time.

However if you think Son and Son-in-law are different because you didn't give birth to son-in-law., then shouldn't we also say the way Asha treated Dev like a son and the way he responded also should not happen? We shouldn't be supporting hypocrisy, right? If you think only giving birth gives rights? Then no one would call Yasoda Krishna's mother.

Also, if son and son-in-law are different, then so is daughter and daughter-in-law. Sona shouldn't ask Ishwari for any thing any more and Ishwari also has no right to ask her for anything. So whether Sona gives advice to Dev for his business or not, Ishwari should not interfere in that nor ask questions. That's not her right nor she has given birth to Sona.

Anyhoo, let's just say Dev should from now on spare us the hypocrisy of my family, your family and your family, my family crap. And stop pretending to be Asha's son because he is Asha's son-in-law, not her son. So again, he has no right to know Saurabh's situation. Those talks are reserved for families, not in-laws. He should either be son-in-law and mind his place or be son and be treated as such. He can't have convenient switch mode in both roles.

There are men and women who get married into a family and become family members and then there are men and women who get married into a family and by their own attitude and mentality or the family's attitude and mentality forever remain nothing more than a polite guest. Dev should just from now on, by your school of thought, remain the later.

Originally posted by: dlavanya
Again I don't agree with any of your answers . So let's agree to disagree.
I don't feel ishwari insulted bijoy- she just questioned him if he knew all the things that could have happened.
Yes Son and damad can't be treated same way - not because SIL deserves more respect but because you have not given birth to your SIL and you can't make decisions for them.
It is about safety and not Izzat here . I believe everyone - first Sona ( by not willing to talk to dev and speak out her problems and roaming on the streets like a kid with out common sense), dev by not informing his decision to stay back or call his mom in the morning when they returned and bijoy by asking them to go out and sort it out. May be a sober bijoy would have made better choices.

If Sona and dev had endeded up like nirbhaya and her friend who should be blamed?? Is that only when ishwari gets the right to scream at bijoy. What he did was wrong and let's not support him.
In Friday's episode I did not find ishwaris words or actions cringeworthy. Only scene where she showed her insecurity was when she remembered how dev was feeding asha.

If bijoy can ask ishwari to get out when she came begging Sona to marry dev then I don't see any reason why ishwari should not be pissed off at bijoy for asking dev and Sona to go out of the house at 2 am.

Ps: she did not ask all the questions to bijoy. She asked only the one where she said Delhi is not safe so you should know better and also the statement where she said I never let dev be on streets even when we were poor... all the rest were aimed at dev

Edited by tia.o - 9 years ago

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Harryfan011

@Harryfan011

Explorer

Posted: 9 years ago

#76

I am posting what I had expressed in another post regarding this week's episodes..

This main purpose about this post is not to make an in-depth analysis of this week's episodes or dissecting the characters of Dev, Sonakshi and Ishwari... But, to clear out the thoughts, that still leaves my mind in a state of chaos..

A lot of things have happened since my last post, and I feel that I need to clear my head, so that I can concentrate on things which will actually affect my real life and not, some characters in a fictional show...

So here it goes...

1. In my opinion, Dev's incapability to keep the promises that continues to come out of his mouth, is by far, his worst flaw... The way that promises keep coming out of his mouth is so similar with the way that taunts come out of GKB's mouth...

I feel the reason that he can't keep his promises is simply because, when he makes them, he only takes himself into account and forgets about his mother, family or other things...

When he makes those promises to either Sona or someone else, he doesn't take into consideration how his promises will affect his mother.. Because he doesn't believe or understand that how promises made by him can affect his mother or his family..

For him, his promises and his other responsibilities or relations are two completely different things, completely isolated with each other...

When, he says to Sona that her family is his family also, it means that, for him, Bijoy and Asha are like his parents and so on... He loves them and pampers them in a way similar to his mother... The way that he fed Asha with so much warmth and affection is very much similar to how he takes care of Ishwari...

When he says that Sona, you are also part of my family, he simply meant that for him, Sona is not only his wife, but so much more... For him, his family is incomplete without his 'Khargosh'.. Subconsciously, his home is where his heart is and his heart is with Sonakshi...

So, I feel that as his character has undergone a lot of change but I feel that he's a work in progress and I feel that it will take some life-altering events, in his life, before he finally transitions into a man that we are all waiting to see...

2. Even though, this is related to my first point but considering, this is the issue which has aggravated a lot of viewers this weekend is 'how Sonakshi can hear to in-laws (Ishu and GKB) insults regarding her family mutely, especially after she left the house after telling her that she feels like an outsider?'

So, I would like to point out that she might have been made to feel like an outsider but what hurts her the most is not that fact whether anyone else considers her family or not, but whether Dev considers her one or not...

When he told her to stay away from his family matters.. That's when she started feeling suffocated and alienated in the Dixit household... We have to remember she is the same woman who admitted to the fact, that the only person who has the power to hurt her is Dev... And here, I don't mean the physical abuse but the emotional torment...

Even before she became his wife, she knew that she will face challenges in the form of Ishwari, GKB and others... She knew that they have not accepted her completely, especially Ishu and that's why she tried so hard to fit in...

Sonakshi's biggest flaw is that she is emotionally co-dependent on Dev... If Dev's happy, so as she... If Dev feels sad, then, she also feels sadness... She does what she does because she wants to see him happy... She knows that her happiness is tied with his... That's why, I feel that Asha said to Bijoy that Sonakshi will only remain happy with Dev because she has also seen her daughter's trying to move forward but still failing miserably, because she can't let go of Dev...

This was further confirmed with the scene when she lays her head on Dev's lap signifying that the only thing that she needs is her husband's affection and support... For her, Dev is the axis of her world...

And, coming back to the argument, even when Sonakshi expresses to Dev about her feeling like an 'outsider', she never mentioned or even targeted Dev's family members... But, she accused Dev of considering her an outsider...

When she said she feels like she is walking on egg shells at her in-laws place, she meant that Dev blaming her for her actions... She was angry at Dev and not on his family, because with time, she has come to a realization that she probably will never be completely accepted in his family... Hence, her demands and expectations are only limited to her husband...

3. Now, I feel that many of us are pissed at Ishwari for how she behaved in her son's in-laws home.. She had no right to expect that she will be treated like a queen and put on a pedestal, like her home...

Bijoy answering her questions in a calm manner clearly indicated that he was not worried about his actions nor had any interest in bowing his head down like a slave in front of the 'great' mother...

And, in my opinion, it was a good thing that neither of our protagonists spoke up, because,while it would have satisfied us, it would just make Ishwari more paranoid and crazy... When she saw her son showering love on another maternal fears, her insecurities again come back to the surface and that was why she was so blunt and rude...

And, personally, I feel that Bijoy knows what kind of mother, Ishwari, yet he stoked the fire when he told her that he has thrown his son out of his home, along with his daughter...

While, I am glad that Bijoy treated both of them as adults and had the confidence that his daughter is in safe hands of her husband shows that he has started to trust Dev and their small moments was great to watch...

But, throwing people out of his house, no matter whether they are adults or not, is irrelevant.. While his intentions and his idea was good, his execution was wrong... But, we have to still remember that it's a show and they have to introduce such methods to make things more interesting and lighthearted...

4. Also, I feel that Sonakshi has not reached a place from where she can question either Ishwari or someone else's actions including GKB, Vicky or even Neha...

When she gave a very logical solution to Dev regarding Vicky joining Ishwari Enterprises... Vicky came back home and told everything to RR and RR using Ishwari's biggest fears, made her beloved 'Jiji' dance to her tunes and hence, changed the decision in her son's favor... In all of this, Sonakshi was the victim and yet, she was made to feel like an accused...

Even, in Neha-Ranveer issue, every action of hers was, instead of being appreciated, was turned against her...

So, I don't think that we can expect the same Sonakshi that once showed Ishwari and GKB their places, until she knows that her point of view, or her actions will not be turned against her...

5. That is why, I feel that her demand of a makeover of the room shared by her and Dev, is a very much needed step.. Till this date, everything in the Dixits have remained the same, except for her physical presence...

Once the room is finally redone, I feel it will act as a physical reminder of the changes that are happening in the lives of the Dixit family... At the same time, it will give a sense of belonging to her as well as could become her abode inside the Ishwari mansion...

I don't understand what's the tension going around the forum regarding the swing... We have to realize that it was shown as a precap for an episode to be aired on Monday... So, there will be some drama involved in it...

I am sure that there is something intriguing regarding the precap, but I am sure that it will bring our lovebirds closer because their new sanctuary will have flavors of both of them...

6. I feel that Dev's stay at the Bose's will do wonders for his character growth.. Till date, he has been part of family where there was no communication... Everyone led their separate lives... Everyone had their own agenda and this man who became their provider, was responsible to fulfill each and everyone's whims while no one ever catered to his own emotions...

But, then he goes to a family where everyone communicates freely, expresses their emotions without any kind of hesitation... The concept of egos doesn't exist among them..

He was a part of a dinner where he saw two members engaging in some lively banter... There was a lot of teasing but the mood around the table was filled with a sense of warmth and content... He was alarmed because he knew if this happened in his home, then, it would have been taken as an insult and the argument would have turned into an ugly clash of egos..

This stay made him realize that how families are tied with strings of love and understanding... Unlike his family, where the only thing which keeps them together are their needs and desires...

It's funny that the only thing that Dev demands from his family.. To be more precise, his mother is the same thing which Sonakshi expects out of him... A caress through his hair is all, he desires for all his hard work... He just want to lean on someone when he feels sad, down..

Sometimes, I feel pity for this man because his 8 year old self had a mother who truly loved him... Ishwari is so insecure that she, in my own opinion, no longer emotionally connects with her son... And, that disconnect started to happen even before Sona entered Dev's life...

In all the pampering that Dev showers on her, truly made her feel like she is entitled to all that love... Instead of feeling blessed that she has got a son like him,.. She feels that for all her sacrifices, she has right to everything in her son's life, including his happiness..

That's why, we see a Dev who can't imagine his life without his 'Khargosh' because he knows that in his wife, he has got a person who loves him, the 'Dev' that no one cares about... He longs to be free of all his burdens, he wishes to be free and live his life, the way, he envisions it... But, he can't do that until he is free of his responsibilities...

But, his mother will never let him relieve his burdens... She is putting all this weight on his son's young shoulders, not caring that he feels suffocated by it... In her insecurity, she is no longer seeing her son, but only sees her image..

7. I think we all accept the fact, that 'the Only Constant in Life is Change'.. And, there are two ways through which we accept them in our lives..

One, we accept them and adapt ourselves accordingly... That will mean that we have to sometimes, undergo a bit of trouble, but in the end, it will be worth it...

Or, Second, we resist and resist, until we are forced to accept the change... And, this acceptance usually comes at a cost...

So, I firmly believe that Dev and Sonakshi will come out being stronger through this period because they make mistakes and learn from them... They accept that changes are happening in their lives and accordingly adapt themselves...

Meanwhile, Ishwari and all others, who believe that nothing has changed will be up for a rude awakening.. If Ishwari can ever come out of her paranoia, then probably, she can accept it and make her peace with it.. In the end, it will be good for her only... Otherwise, she will be forced to accept them at the cost of her son (Like she had to accept Sonakshi into her household, even when she didn't want to...)

P.S: Glad that this extremely long rant is finally over.. I hope that this makes some sense... Finally, I could go back to my life...

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.Neela.

@.Neela.

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#77

@ Harryfan011 🤗

That was Just Brilliant 👏 Makes me feel surprised once again - how a fictional TV series bring out such philosophically & factually accurate thesis 😛 Just loved the analysis, very well detailed and perfectly penned thoughts.

Surprisingly Ishwari does not even want to think - what must haave gone wrong between Devaskhi that Sona went to her parent's house and Dev had to manaofy her? Obviously that does not matter to her. She couldhave Sona sitting at her parents place the rest of her life 😡. As long as she has Dev to pamper her 🥱

Episode 95: Neha's wedding when Devakshi were shown to take vows -

Dev says: Hum humesha ek doosre ka saath denge, buraise ek sure ko bachayenege. TUm har tarah se meri partner ho Sonashi 🤔

Sona says: aapke har faisle, har decision me main support karungi

These many episodes after their wedding and so many ups and downs. Where does ANYONE see the above two even being fulfilled at least up to 10%?

Yes, Dev has undergone some changes, but as someone has correctly said, those changes are not forever. He flips back to Ishwari's puppet, the moment the ring master is in front of him and that's what is tiring for us as spectators. CVs don't seem to know how to show a positive progressive growth for both Dev & Ish and want to let the story stuck in circles to make it perpetual.

There is a tension about the swing? 😲

So Neha needs to have a house of her own liking with just her hubby in there but Sona can't even have her own choices in her own room? HYPOCRISY!!

Yes, after all it's a show and the sad part is many youngsters idolize TV shows & films and start taking the rosy parts of the story as reality ( no problem in wanting to have such a life). And while doing so, their thoughts expressed on the forum give a sense that they are ok with becoming a doormat / it's more than ok to be treated like one, because there's nothing wrong in that. Yes certainly safety wise Sona was wrong in strolling around at 2.00 AM. I don't think CVs want to give any message that strolling around playfully at that hour is safe. So, not sure, why there needs to be so much back and forth on a scene like that. The bigger issue is Sona willing to be subdued at every single place where she does not need to be. Unfortunately that's what our culture still teaches their daughters and expects the same from their DILs. TV series should be bringing change in this thought process and I had hoped this story to be at least showing that difference. ALAS, I was wrong.

Sorry for my randomly unorganized thoughts.

Edited by .Neela. - 9 years ago

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lavanya

@dlavanya

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#78

You love parents and in laws both . Care for both. But pls dont tell me that if there was a measure for live and care, you live and care for your inlwas to the same level as u do ur parents. My in laws are great but still if it comes to a point i care for my parents a bit more than my inlaws. Same for my in laws thry treat me like thier daughter but still they will love and care for thier son a bit more than they care for me. That is natural. I am not fighting for it.

So love and care is fine but my mom will not be ok if my inlaws do something that is not safe for me. Thatbis where parents get protective. I lived my parents all my life and then moved to us and until first few years my mom was extremely concerned about what i do and where i am . After that they were relieved. Same here dev never left ishwari before and we should understand her concerns given that she is so attached to dev.
Ishwari also treats sona like her daughter(she would be happy to feed her every day) and tries to protect her from dadi bua etc. but yes when the question of sharing devs love and attention is concerned - we all know there is a problem and that is infact the story of this show

Also you compared dev raising voice with ranveer vs telling gkb in a milder tone - situation is not the same. Gkb is elderly and ranveer is devs age. Dev never yells at elders.
So we should jot expect him to raise voice at gkb. He did try to explain and he did it just fine according to me... He came a long way from where he was before marriage.
Now all he needs to do is cteate importance of sona in the family and also support her decisions while she tries to make changes - that will automatically strengthen her place in the family

Originally posted by: tia.o

I am absolutely fine with you not agreeing with me. As I repeatedly mentioned that's absolutely all right in my post.

About Sona and Dev getting into trouble, again if they got into trouble because they were stupid enough to roam the street at night, then as I mentioned in my yesterday's post, it would have been their stupidity. As I said Ishwari assumed they spent night on the road, we know they spent the night on the road, Bijoy Bose might have also assumed that they would have gone to a 5 star hotel which is a more intelligent assumption than Ishwari's.

Bijoy threw Ishwari out of his house when she came to ask Sona's hand in marriage and Bijoy threw Dev and Sona out of his house. Because it's HIS house. Just like Dev threw Ranveer out of his house because it's HIS house. Ranveer's bhabhi or mother didn't come to complaint their treatment of their son-in-law at that time.

However if you think Son and Son-in-law are different because you didn't give birth to son-in-law., then shouldn't we also say the way Asha treated Dev like a son and the way he responded also should not happen? We shouldn't be supporting hypocrisy, right? If you think only giving birth gives rights? Then no one would call Yasoda Krishna's mother.

Also, if son and son-in-law are different, then so is daughter and daughter-in-law. Sona shouldn't ask Ishwari for any thing any more and Ishwari also has no right to ask her for anything. So whether Sona gives advice to Dev for his business or not, Ishwari should not interfere in that nor ask questions. That's not her right nor she has given birth to Sona.

Anyhoo, let's just say Dev should from now on spare us the hypocrisy of my family, your family and your family, my family crap. And stop pretending to be Asha's son because he is Asha's son-in-law, not her son. So again, he has no right to know Saurabh's situation. Those talks are reserved for families, not in-laws. He should either be son-in-law and mind his place or be son and be treated as such. He can't have convenient switch mode in both roles.

There are men and women who get married into a family and become family members and then there are men and women who get married into a family and by their own attitude and mentality or the family's attitude and mentality forever remain nothing more than a polite guest. Dev should just from now on, by your school of thought, remain the later.

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thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#79

Neela - did you eventually watch the episode?

I wish I could come and hug you for this post. Sending a virtual hug.

Originally posted by: .Neela.
@ Harryfan011 🤗
That was Just Brilliant 👏 Makes me feel surprised once again - how a fictional TV series bring out such philosophically accurate thesis 😛 Just loved the analysis, very well detailed and perfectly penned thoughts.

Surprisingly Ishwari does not even want to think - what must haave gone wrong between Devaskhi that SOna went to her parent's house and Dev had to manaofy her? Obviously that does not matter to her. She couldhave Sona sitting at her parents place the rest of her life 😡. As long as she has Dev to pamper her 🥱

Episode 95: Neha's wedding when Devakshi were shown to take vows -

Dev says: Hum humesha ek doosre ka saath denge, buraise ek sure ko bachayenege. TUm har tarah se meri partner ho Sonashi 🤔

Sona says: aapke har failse, har decision me main support karungi

These many episodes after their wedding and so many ups and downs. Where does ANYONE see the above two even being fulfilled to 10%?

Yes, Dev has undergone some changes, but as someone has correctly said, those changes are not forever. He flips back to Ishwari's puppet, the moment the ring master is in front of him and that's what is tiring for us as spectators. CVs don't seem to know how to show a positive progressive growth for both Dev & Ish and want to let the story stuck in circles to make it perpetual.

There is a tension about the swing? 😲

So Neha needs to have a house of her own liking with just her hubby in there but Sona can't even have her own choices in her own room? HYPOCRISY!!

Yes, after all it's a show and the sad part is many youngsters idolize TV shows & films and start taking the rosy parts of the story as reality ( no problem in wanting to have such a life). And while doing so, their thoughts expressed on the forum give a sense that they are ok with becoming a doormat / it's more than ok to be treated like one, because there's nothing wrong in that. Yes certainly safety wise Sona was wrong in strolling around at 2.00 AM. I don't think CVs want to give any message that strolling around playfully at that hour is safe. So, not sure, why there needs to be so much back and forth on a scene like that. The bigger issue is Sona willing to be subdued at every single place where she does not need to be. Unfortunately that's what our culture still teaches their daughters and expects the same from their DILs. TV series should be bringing change in this thought process and I had hoped this story to be at least showing that difference. ALAS, I was wrong.

Sorry for my randomly unorganized thoughts.

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#80

I don't know about your family situation. So I won't comment on that.

But both my husband and I do love and care both of our family like our own. We may love one more than the other, but we treat both the same.

We never had to pick one over other, but one proof of the same is that while my husband and I don't live with his parents (they don't want to live with us either), my mother will move to Canada after retirement and we will both be responsible for her expenses. We will do the same if ever his parents need or want us to do. I am an only child and don't have brother and sister. Tell me what is the difference between a son and my husband who is a son-in-law? What is he not doing that a son does? He might love his mother more than mine, but he doesn't treat his mother differently than mine.

My brother-in-law got divorced 4 years ago right after my marriage. My father-in-law still calls his ex-wife to check if she is comfortable, if she needs her car fixed or groceries. My brother-in-law pays her alimony and also pays for the house she lives in. Why would Dad who is an in-law ever bother to check on a woman who divorced his son? Because she was once family.

Just imagine if he treats her like this now, how he must have treated her and how he must treat me while we were and are part of his family. He is my dad and I could not love him more because while he loves my husband more, but when it comes to treating us, he never by deed or word showed that I am his daughter-in-law. He treated both of us same.

So if I want to claim that I am my in-laws's daughter and my husband is his in-laws's son, it's absolutely possible. But then this "me" and "you" have to become "us". Otherwise it's not possible. We might love our own a little bit more, but the treatment to both has to be equal and fair. Biased treatment creates biased and unequal relationship.

I understand a concerned parents's feelings. I kept repeating that Ishwari's concern is right. But again, for all Bijoy knew they might sit outside like before marriage, sort out their issue and then Sona and Dev will come inside. He sent them out to sort out their differences, not sent them to battlefield to die. If idiot Sona decided to take a stroll at night on empty road then How is that Bijoy's fault? How many times Sona willingly went out at late night to meet Dev outside her home? No one thought about her or Dev's safety then. Suddenly Bijoy sending them out became safety issue?

Uh, no. Ishwari does not treat Sona like her daughter. Would she have kept her mouth shut if Radha insulted her daughters like she insults Sona?

The moment Sona and Dev walked in, Radha started accusations. I wonder if Dev's respect for elders will continue if Neha, Riya or Nikki are treated like that by anyone or would he protect their respect with more zeal and power than he did for Sona. Riya's wedding is being fixed. If anyone points out Neha's divorced status, I fully expect Dev to keep silent or mumble. If his voice is raised even a little, that will clearly point out that it's not that he is concerned with elder's respect, but that he is not concerned with Sonakshi's respect if his family mistreats her. I am sure we will see in coming episodes how far Dev has learned the concept of marriage and family.

Originally posted by: dlavanya
You love parents and in laws both . Care for both. But pls dont tell me that if there was a measure for live and care, you live and care for your inlwas to the same level as u do ur parents. My in laws are great but still if it comes to a point i care for my parents a bit more than my inlaws. Same for my in laws thry treat me like thier daughter but still they will love and care for thier son a bit more than they care for me. That is natural. I am not fighting for it.

So love and care is fine but my mom will not be ok if my inlaws do something that is not safe for me. Thatbis where parents get protective. I lived my parents all my life and then moved to us and until first few years my mom was extremely concerned about what i do and where i am . After that they were relieved. Same here dev never left ishwari before and we should understand her concerns given that she is so attached to dev.
Ishwari also treats sona like her daughter(she would be happy to feed her every day) and tries to protect her from dadi bua etc. but yes when the question of sharing devs love and attention is concerned - we all know there is a problem and that is infact the story of this show

Also you compared dev raising voice with ranveer vs telling gkb in a milder tone - situation is not the same. Gkb is elderly and ranveer is devs age. Dev never yells at elders.
So we should jot expect him to raise voice at gkb. He did try to explain and he did it just fine according to me... He came a long way from where he was before marriage.
Now all he needs to do is cteate importance of sona in the family and also support her decisions while she tries to make changes - that will automatically strengthen her place in the family

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