How the heck are they going to bring Neha and Ranveer's marriage back from this? There is so much negativity now, not just between husband and wife, but between their respective families as well. And to be honest, I don't think anybody really understands what is going on, not even Sona. If everyone else is on one extreme, assuming that the love between Neha and Ranveer is dead so no point in the relationship, then Sona is the other, insisting that as long as they love each other, nothing else matters. I agree that the separation is not for love lost between Neha and Ranveer, but it's also not merely a question of ego, as Sona keeps saying it is. This separation has to do with certain needs that each of them have, that supersede even love.
It's not Sona's fault nor is she totally wrong in her assessment; she is just missing the main point in this situation. I genuinely believe that Neha tried her best to make things work, and she came back home when she was at the absolute end of her tether, making it difficult to argue for love. Besides, I don't think Neha ever denied that she loves Ranveer, but that's just not the point anymore. Love or not, Neha found herself deeply unhappy, and reliving her terrible past, in her marriage with Ranveer and the love between them was not enough to compensate for that unhappiness. That, I think is what Sona is missing, and where she is being a bit naive in insisting that love is the all-encompassing answer. The fact that she sees her and Dev's relationship reflected in Neha and Ranveer makes it all the more urgent for her to see it come right; if love can't save them, then what's going to hold Dev and her together?
But there is a fundamental difference. The way I see it, Ranveer and Neha trusted each other with hard-fought and important parts of themselves. In compromising one of the two things she wanted out of marriage (physical comfort and love), Neha trusted Ranveer to make up for her sacrifice with extra love, and an effort to become more financially successful. She showed him that trust by moving in with his family despite her deep issues with poverty. Ranveer trusted Neha with his self-respect, and showed it by taking the job that Dev offered despite the fact that it was against his principles. They shattered each other's trust, and thereby shattered what the other one held most dear. Now it's as though Neha is punishing Ranveer for his independence and idealism, and Ranveer is punishing Neha for her bluntness and pragmatism. Dev and Sona have a slight advantage here. While their love story definitely faced huge hurdles, neither of them was compelled to compromise a huge part of their identity -- something they loved about themselves -- to make the relationship work.
But despite the differences, it's the similarities that arouse Sona's insecurity. Ranveer's principles of self-respect and self-sufficency are very similar to her own, she too was once the sole bread-winner for her family, who found herself at the mercy of Dev Dixit's financial influence, and most importantly, like her, Ranveer is a peripheral member of Dixit family... a member in name, but still an outsider to their core emotional bond. Sona sees herself in Ranveer, and perceives her situation as incredibly precarious, but for Dev, she is a part of the Dixit family; isn't it natural that she would take Neha's side and understand him using any means possible to avenge his sister's insult? Ranveer broke their trust, which is something they hardly give to anyone, so shouldn't he be punished? Maybe in the Dixit system, where Dev's actions go mostly unquestioned because he is a man, and the sole earner of the family, but Dev is also Bose now and they have very different standards. I look forward to seeing him held to them; he will undoubtedly be a better man for it!
There was a subtle and interesting shift in the Dixit family this week. Bringing Neha into the spotlight might have been something Ishwari did accidentally, but it is shifting the dynamic in the family ever so slightly. For the first time, both Dev and Ishwari acknowledged and appreciated, to Neha's face, the sacrifices she had made for them. Dev giving her the doll was exactly that, him saying, "I know what you gave up, and I really appreciate it. I am going to try and give you happiness now." It took a marriage on the rocks for Neha's family to begin to understand that what she needed could only come from them. I was also intrigued by Ishwari. Sure, she went off to the mandir by herself but I didn't see her usual spark when Dev confronted her. She didn't tell him he had forgotten his old responsibilities, and though she wasn't happy with him missing their tradition, there was a kind of resignation in her attitude, rather than her usual fighting stance. Was it because Sona was actually hurt, and Dev's attention to her necessary? Is it possibly (and I wish!) because her preoccupation with Neha is making her less obsessed with Dev? I have always predicted that that would happen.. and it would be interesting to see it unfold.
Finally, I think it would actually be interesting from a story-perspective for them to just show Neha getting divorced. Neither Ranveer nor Neha are bad people, and I genuinely believe they both tried their best, but what if your best is not good enough to sustain the relationship? What if your best is not enough to meet the minimum requirement of the other person? To my eyes, that is what their situation currently looks like, and I think a divorce would be far more convincing than a reconciliation at this point. Something like the arc they had for Zaroon's sister in Zindagi Gulzar Hai would be amazing to watch (maybe without the Taming of the Shrew undertones, though). Take Neha through a period where she regrets her haste, both to get married and divorced, but gains maturity from the experience, while having the unconditional support of her mother and family. Neha can relive her childhood, and Ishwari her motherhood... perhaps then they can put the past behind them, and live in the moment..
And that (finally) concludes this weekend's post. đ
Anupamaa
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
