I agree with you that Sona is being both right and wrong in here . She always saw her family discussing the problems to each other ,finding a solution , there was nothing personal there even if it is love life of their daughter or job of their kids everything was out in open . So here everyone giving upon Neha-Ranveer's relationship or not taking any efforts to solve it was freaking her out which made her visit Ranveer's house . Frankly that is a logical step any family would take in these situation , but it was not her place , I wished it was either Ishwari or Mamaji who had done that .
As much as I hate the line "Sonakshi you would not understand" , I believe there is some truth in it . When she enjoyed that blissful feeling of waking up to her love ,she wished for the same for Neha too, but she doesn't realize what makes her happy and content may not be the same for everyone . She didn't have that scars that remind her off her bitter pasts which did not make her believe in fairy tales but ugly truth of life ... This applies to lot of us too , when we judge people or characters here and preach about "righteousness" , we should also realize we may not be really able to comprehend the situation completely given the fact that we haven't gone through the circumstances these characters had , and human behavior is not as simple as we think it is ...
Absolutely! We tend to judge other people when we impose our standards and beliefs on them, which to them, might be totally arbitrary. Honestly, at first, I also used to get annoyed when Ishwari said nobody knew Neha better than her, but as the episodes went on, and Ranveer behaved the way he did with the false accusation against Neha, I am beginning to understand that it is true to a large extent. What Ishwari knows is that despite all of Neha's bluster and cynicism, she is an extremely mature and sorted person, and a fighter at heart; she would not have left her sasural unless she felt there was no other path open to her. Ranveer did the one thing that was a strict deal breaker -- he took Neha for granted. Deep down, I honestly don't know if Ranveer ever understood Neha's issues. I think he admired what she had done for her family and assumed she would do the same for his... exactly the opposite of what Neha wanted for herself. Ishwari knew once she came home, that any effort at reconciliation, if it were to succeed would have to come from Neha herself.
The sad irony here is that Ishwari, who knows Neha inside out has no inclination to do anything about it because it exposes her flaws as a mother to be so helpless. Sona, who is eager to take initiative, on the other hand, doesn't know the situation well enough to help in productive ways. Instead of trying to liase between Neha and Ranveer's family when she didn't have all the information or support, she could have done a lot more good just by continuing to talk to Neha, and really listening to her side. She actually had Neha open up to her, which is huge for Neha, but she cancelled the effect by presuming she understood the whole situation from that one converstation, and acting on the basis of those assumptions.
About Ishwari ,I don't believe the change in her is just a distraction due to Neha , among all the characters in the show she is going through the worst phase I believe . Given the recent turn of events, she is living her worst nightmare of a failed mother . I am not getting into it now, as I have lots to say.
Now its impossible not to compare both the separations. What you said about trust and betrayal is so true . But didn't it happen with Dev , Sona as well . Sona had the utmost trust that whatever hurdles they might had to face in their relationship Dev would be with her. In her own words he was the most important person in her life who had the power to hurt her the most. So when he failed to take a stand for their love , and was ready to break those promises , she was shattered and felt betrayed !!! Dev was always fascinated by Sona's ability to understand people and handle the situations with maturity .During break-up he knew what he was doing was wrong , but I believe somewhere in his mind he had more trust in their love and expected Sona to fathom his feelings ! For him it was not giving upon her , but an immediate damage control . That's why he was freaking out and turned to a psycho when he found out Sona is moving on with some one else . Both of them had seen each others worst during separation , if Dev thought Sona was trying to hurt him where it hurts the most by deciding to marry Rithvik , Sona was seeing a psycho Dev who stalks her and creating more and more troubles for her by interfering in her and Rithvik's life . And even messier was the equation between two families specially Ishwari and Bejoy . When Dev-Sona separation happened what disturbed me the most was even if they could patch up and love again, will they get their trust back. I know they are not there yet , but the way they are showing the progress in their relationship after marriage is making me believe that love and time may heal even the deepest wounds ... I don't know if I am being foolishly optimistic, but I still have hopes for Neha-Ranveer as I believe they hit the rock bottom now and it can't get any worse than this.
Of course there was an element of trust and betrayal in Sona and Dev's break-up, but what I pointed out specifically about Ranveer and Neha is that they trusted the other to make up for something important that they had compromised in order to be with each other. That sets a relationship up for failure, because of the impossible expectations. In Dev and Sona's case, they betrayed the bond between them, and the promises they had made to each other, but they didn't betray each other's identity. A comparable situation would be if Dev loved Sona but wanted a wife who didn't work, and Sona loved Dev but believed that both parties should live away from their families upon marriage. While I see Ranveer and Neha at such an impasse, it's not the case with Dev-Sona: Dev loves Sona's independence, and is proud of her professional succes, and Sona understands how inextricable Dev is from his family, especially his mom. I see/saw love between Neha and Ranveer but not that understanding and acceptance.
Now as much as I love to see Neha and Ranveer repent their actions and look at situations with more maturity, I really don't want a divorce to happen like in Zaroon's sister in ZGH . Dev may be able to find a better guy for Neha , who would try to give Neha everything she wants , but most of her identity will be associated as Dev Dixit's sister . I had posted it earlier , for Neha, Ranveer may be the first guy who was close to her in the outside world but for Ranveer she is not the first girl he met , yet he fell for this illiterate girl with flaws and was ready to compromise even his self respect to start a life with her . And I still believe he can make her come out of the past and give her the confidence to face the world and rediscover herself ... I would want to see that Neha more than anything ...
@bold: But why should it be about a better/another guy at all? And how can Ranveer, who still thinks of her battle with her insecurities as "zidh," help her? The best way for Neha to come out of the Dev's shadow is to make her identity as something other than Dev Dixit's sister, to realise that there are options other than marriage open to her. With their money and her intelligence and resilience, she can do anything she wants. All she needs is a little moral support to overcome the fear of stepping out into the world. When she wanted to learn English, Neha was scared and lashed out at Dev when he hired Ranveer without her knowledge. It was Sona who pacified her, told her there was no shame in not knowing English, but that she should try and learn if it meant something to her. She needs that push, but it is something she got neither from her family, nor from Ranveer. They have been married months now, but rather than encourage her to expand her horizons, Ranveer is more than happy with a housewife, who lives within his budget and never complains. If he were going to give her confidence, he should have made a start by now! I have nothing against Ranveer persay, I just don't think he's inclined to give Neha what she really needs. 
Kumkum Bhagya
