Price of Generosity!!!

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Pehchaan.Kaun

@Pehchaan.Kaun

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

#51

I absolutely loved Sona's way of handling the situation today. Yes, there wasn't much she could do about it. And she genuinely felt guilty about everything which she hasn't been done at all i.e. showing off about her honeymoon shopping, dancing all the time in front of Neha and boasting about it, all these were done by Niki and Rhea, yet their actions are never questioned.

But my concern is, Ishwari's reasons were totally false, will anyone be able to see through them or not ? I don't want Sona to turn Dev part 2 and go through the meaningless guilt, sorry, apology trips time and again neither do I want her to donate her brain to Ishwari. I am not sure if that is Sona's generosity or plain dumbness or 'turning-into-a-Dixit' syndrome that she has started buying Ishwari's lame excuses ! How long is this gonna be dragged I am losing my patience. Can Mamaji for once use his brain and point out to Ishwari if cancelling the trip had more to do with her insecurity or with Neha's marital problems ! I really wish somebody just connect the dots of all Ishwari's dialogs lately and starts monitoring her behaviour asap, and I would be glad if it's Dev and not Sona.

Amidst all these, Dev again appalled me 😊 After reading the written updates I thought he was restless and sorry for cancelling his trip, but clearly he was so restless and upset for not being a good brother. 😊 So much of shedding tears and despair for Neha, and just a formal 'Sorry Sona' for being one of a worst kind of husbands of the world 😛 And again the same repetitive dialog - I couldn't keep my promise. I for once thought Sona would reply anyways when did you ? 😆 Wish he had felt at least 10% of sorry as a failed husband as he felt for being a bad son/brother at regular intervals.

I am just sad today that Sona is falling prey of Ishwari's drama again and again and she isn't doing anything about that to save herself. I really had different expectations from this show. 😒

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

#52

Good point, explained very well.

If a husband's family is family, then a woman's family is also a family. She didn't share Neha's problem with her neighbour.

If Neha's problem hadn't spilled over her life in front of her parents, she still won't have interfered just like she backed off when Neha bit off her head on the first day.

Originally posted by: gemini54
I see the discussions have moved to Sona and Neha.
Let us talk about identities.

Is Sona a Bose or a Dixit? Why does she need to be only one or the other? If she is only Dixit now does that mean that she is no longer a Bose a daughter, granddaughter, sister , cousin ? And because she is not any of these are the Bose strangers?

Does this rule apply to Neha what is she ? A Dixit or I don't know her married name? let us say her married name us x than what is she doing at the Dixit? And why is she talking about her husband to strangers the Dixits? Or does this rule apply only to Sona and daughters are exempt if so isn't Sona exempt because last I knew she was a daughter too?

Does that apply to Dev ? Is he a Dixit? Or a Bose? If he is a Dixit should he be talking to the Bose family? What if tommorow he says to Easwari that Saurabh is having problems not going into the detail of the problems but saying he has problems and that too say in the Bose home. Does Saurabh have the right be offended? Or does this rule apply only to woman? And Dev is exempt?

People sometimes take up their husbands last name or name because they want to or because that is what has been done in the past but nowadays some people retain their maiden name even after marriage just because they do one or the other does that mean they are any less of a good wife.

Do we have to give up our identities just because we happen to be married and now follow an invisible code of conduct that only applies to woman? . Are we still in an Era when women are supposed to shave their heads and stop wearing bindi or flowers because our husbands are no more ..didn't we have our hair the way we wanted and wore bindi and flowers even before the husband came into the picture?

The last I knew really there is no such codes and rules then why is Sona's action here even part of a discussion ? Someone please enlighten me?

Tia my girl sorry here I go again ...

.

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

#53

Exactly. Thank you.

We have same rule in our family. I share all news to my family and my husband does the same. Because we are all a family. We both love both sides of the family equally and when we need support we need both sides to stand by us and with each other.

Originally posted by: ASHREENA
Who is the outsider sona told about neha issues...so her parents are now outsiders...did she speak out side the dixit house or inside...did she go on national TV...? Please if she wishes to let her patents know something then she should be free to do so...I am married 16yrs now and when my brother in law got divorce they did not want anyone to know and I made it very clear to my husband that I was not going to lie to my mother I told him I was going to let her know because if she heard it elsewhere then I would feel bad...that all was not well and I said nothing...he said to do what I think was right and I told my mother...and she give motherly advice to me... So I don't see the hoorah about neha and her situation... It would not surprise me if dev did not support her...she has her own battles as well as his battles... Sona should just go back to work and excel at her work..
I wonder if she has external conferences what will dev do and if she becomes famous all by herself... What would he do...at least she will be out of everybody's way...will nrha also think sona is lucky...just remember sons is not afraid of working and being independent... She is not blaming everyone and there family for her shortcomings...

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

#54

Originally posted by: Pehchaan.Kaun
I absolutely loved Sona's way of handling the situation today. Yes, there wasn't much she could do about it. And she genuinely felt guilty about everything which she hasn't been done at all i.e. showing off about her honeymoon shopping, dancing all the time in front of Neha and boasting about it, all these were done by Niki and Rhea, yet their actions are never questioned.

But my concern is, Ishwari's reasons were totally false, will anyone be able to see through them or not ? I don't want Sona to turn Dev part 2 and go through the meaningless guilt, sorry, apology trips time and again neither do I want her to donate her brain to Ishwari. I am not sure if that is Sona's generosity or plain dumbness or 'turning-into-a-Dixit' syndrome that she has started buying Ishwari's lame excuses ! How long is this gonna be dragged I am losing my patience. Can Mamaji for once use his brain and point out to Ishwari if cancelling the trip had more to do with her insecurity or with Neha's marital problems ! I really wish somebody just connect the dots of all Ishwari's dialogs lately and starts monitoring her behaviour asap, and I would be glad if it's Dev and not Sona.

Amidst all these, Dev again appalled me 😊 After reading the written updates I thought he was restless and sorry for cancelling his trip, but clearly he was so restless and upset for not being a good brother. 😊 So much of shedding tears and despair for Neha, and just a formal 'Sorry Sona' for being one of a worst kind of husbands of the world 😛 And again the same repetitive dialog - I couldn't keep my promise. I for once thought Sona would reply anyways when did you ? 😆 Wish he had felt at least 10% of sorry as a failed husband as he felt for being a bad son/brother at regular intervals.

Yes yes yes!!! Exactly what I felt. Dev was behaving as if he was the injured party. Really? Your concern is being a bad brother? You are worried that you could not see Neha's pain? At least Neha stays in separate room and most of the time hibernates there. What about the woman in your room whose hopes you crushed again, whose dreams you broke again and took a decision alone without talking to her... AGAIN!!! What about being a bad husband? Did that worry cross your mind?

I am just sad today that Sona is falling prey of Ishwari's drama again and again and she isn't doing anything about that to save herself. I really had different expectations from this show. 😒

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Hari73

@Hari73

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#55

Originally posted by: tia.o
So basically you are saying that whether you are right or wrong, you should bend so that your husband loves you? Do you want that kind of love? I personally feel that I deserve love not because I stroked someone's ego but because of who I am.

By all means, do say sorry when it's your fault. Don't let your own ego keep you from admitting you are wrong if you are. But if you are right, don't bend an inch.

To all young girls, your job is not to boost someone's ego. And if a man only loves you if you bend over backwards for him, he loves your fawning. He doesn't love you as you are. And trust me, that kind of love isn't worth it..

I think I did not put my words in correct way. It is not about boosting husband ego. When it comes to self respect fight for it. dont ever let any one to hurt your self respect

As I know 90% men are egoistic. I am not telling either woman to bend completely. when man is egoistic, your slight bending towards him will bring him completely down. If you keep same head strong you will end up in fights. Many times men due to their ego, they don't feel sorry. then we woman spoil our peace of mind thinking he is not even sorry. so, Is not wise thing solving small issues without fight. husband will think, realise and appreciate your behaviour once he calm down.

If you are working woman, husband very well know that you don't depend on him on anything (financially, emotionally). He knows your strength. when you give up on small things, definitely you will get bigger things on your side.

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Curlyhairdiary

@Curlyhairdiary

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#56

Hello everyone. Want to put in my two cents. I read some of the replies to the post and I don't understand one thing. Would be grateful if someone explained it to me. Does a girl stop being someone's daughter once she gets married? Is she not supposed to share any problems with her parents anymore just because she is now married to someone? From what I saw, all Sonakshi did was give them a valid reason for cancelling the honeymoon. She did not elaborate on neha's problems nor ishwari's. She didn't even pass judgement on neha's situation. She just informed her parents that due to some problems in neha's marital life the atmosphere of the house is such that her partner and her decided that this is not the right time to go for a honeymoon. She did not tell them that her husband took this decision unilaterally without thinking of consulting her and taking her approval for granted. She did not tell them about the manipulations that her MIL constantly engages in that she has figured out but isn't willing to acknowledge as yet. That's called keeping the matters of a house within its four walls. I tell my parents every minute detail of every problem I face in life. Sometimes I even tell them about problems that my friends go through. Why? Because they are my parents. That's why. I probably would stop telling them certain things once I'm married but not because I won't want to share it with them, but because I wouldn't want them to worry.

If, according to some of us, Sona is wrong in informing her parents about things that happen in her sasural, how is neha exempted from it? By that logic, neha should not be discussing ranveer's family problems with the Dixits. But if I remember correctly, she'd asked Dev to make ranveer rich. And I didn't think she was wrong then. Because Dev would still be her brother even after she's married. Just because a woman is married doesn't mean she stops being a daughter, a sister or a friend.

Coming to Dev. I thought his obvious frustration and discomfort was about not being able to take his wife on the honeymoon he promised and the guilt about breaking yet another promise he made to her. But instead, it was guilt about being blind to his sister's pain. While watching him introspecting about neha's pain and his failure to see it, only one thought crossed my mind. Not once during the break up track, I saw him introspecting about the pain he caused to sona and feeling guilty about it. Instead, all I remember is "how can sona move on like this?" "Sonakshi tum mere sath aisa nai kar Sakti" I, ME, Myself. Well, I don't know if I can even blame him anymore. Selfishness runs in his genes. And him saying sorry for cancelling their honeymoon as an afterthought just about proved what i always suspected. Dev continues to take Sonakshi for granted. What he does today will probably help cement my opinion about him or I'll be pleasantly surprised. I sincerely hope it's the later.

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jasw

@jasw

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#57

I guess with time Sona will be wise and would not shower her generosity so generously! 😊 It is true ungrateful people or selfish people who just think about themselves will never understand the generosity or the sacrifices you make. For them it is all hunky dory if whatever they wanted is achieved.(In this case HM cancellation), at what cost ... they are least bothered. Hoping Sona understands the strategy and counters smartly. Till then she can hope for some understanding from Dev to keep her sanity. But at the end it is Sona who has to counter this emotional onslaught by Ishwari keeping Dev by her side. Tough task ..but can be done. 😃

PS. I think she is fully justified when she spoke about Neha to her parents. She did not add some garam masala only the bare facts and it was in context because that was the reason cited by Dev and Ishwari so why should she lie to her parents about the reason. She is not manipulative like Dixits. She just stated the facts and that too ..to her parents!

Edited by jasw - 8 years ago

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Niva1

@Niva1

Voyager

+ 5

Posted: 8 years ago

#58

Originally posted by: gemini54
I see the discussions have moved to Sona and Neha.
Let us talk about identities.

Is Sona a Bose or a Dixit? Why does she need to be only one or the other? If she is only Dixit now does that mean that she is no longer a Bose a daughter, granddaughter, sister , cousin ? And because she is not any of these are the Bose strangers?

Does this rule apply to Neha what is she ? A Dixit or I don't know her married name? let us say her married name us x than what is she doing at the Dixit? And why is she talking about her husband to strangers the Dixits? Or does this rule apply only to Sona and daughters are exempt if so isn't Sona exempt because last I knew she was a daughter too?

Does that apply to Dev ? Is he a Dixit? Or a Bose? If he is a Dixit should he be talking to the Bose family? What if tommorow he says to Easwari that Saurabh is having problems not going into the detail of the problems but saying he has problems and that too say in the Bose home. Does Saurabh have the right be offended? Or does this rule apply only to woman? And Dev is exempt?

People sometimes take up their husbands last name or name because they want to or because that is what has been done in the past but nowadays some people retain their maiden name even after marriage just because they do one or the other does that mean they are any less of a good wife.

Do we have to give up our identities just because we happen to be married and now follow an invisible code of conduct that only applies to woman? . Are we still in an Era when women are supposed to shave their heads and stop wearing bindi or flowers because our husbands are no more ..didn't we have our hair the way we wanted and wore bindi and flowers even before the husband came into the picture?

The last I knew really there is no such codes and rules then why is Sona's action here even part of a discussion ? Someone please enlighten me?

Tia my girl sorry here I go again ...

.

All i can say is WOW - You have asked very pertinent questions in very simple language. The question of identities is very important, the fact that some think that Sona for one shouldn't talk about any matter of her sasural with the Bose family is a thought borne out of the perfect BAHU syndrome. Neha does not have to be perfect Bahu, because she is side character, so the fact that she also talked about her sausral issues in her Mayaka is overlooked, no one even mentioned it at that time, but now Sonakshi has simply mentioned the issue, people are in frenzy of blaming her or questioning her. Why - cause somewhere down the line, she must do what is considered 'right', and we are sitting ready to judge her lest she slip a little - why because heroin must portray to be perfect Bahu, subconsciously we are slaves of this syndrome.

Again your question regarding Dev and Sourabh scenario - very curious, but i suppose very few people would find it wrong if Dev shared some facts about Sourabh's issue with his mom. see we have a tendency to forgive heroes for a lot that we consider wrong if it comes from the heroins side. For example, in last few episodes, imaging if Dev and Sona's behavior were reversed, the forum would have been in frenzy hating on Sona. Right now the house is divided.

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Niva1

@Niva1

Voyager

+ 5

Posted: 8 years ago

#59

Dear Tia - You are very right about Compromise part, when a person compromises s/he goes through a lot of thoughts and pains, a process only that person live, and hence that compromise makes a permanent etching on the mind of that person. Hence s/he will remember it for long time, while the person who gets benefit of that compromise does not go through that process, s/he just gets the benefits of that compromise, which is easier to forget in the long run. Hence the person compromising will feel cheated if the other person does not give same importance to their sacrifice as they themselves give. This is what happens in reality. So Sona is bound to feel pain of this compromise for longer than Dev and hence her reaction at a later date would be more shaking than his.

It is true that the takers don't remember what other person has given them. Dev is in that position right now. Hopefully he does not turn out to be a taker all through.

However upon the topic of HM cancellation, I have a different view. Main reason in Dev's mind for cancelling HM is Neha's unhappiness and his supposed neglect towards his responsibility. Yes he took the decision alone, like he has done many times before, but for the first time this time around I did not feel angry at Dev for not consulting Sona. Neha's happiness is much larger issue than say decision about Vicky's involvement in the business, or lying to his mom about eating food at the Bose house. There would come a time in every couple's life when one partner would take unilateral decision, because we don't always have luxury to discuss things. So here the matter in Dev's mind mind was his neglect of Neha's happiness, which was and is a big matter for any brother so he took the decision he did. I found it alright that Sona should compromise on such a matter and be an understanding wife.

My main concern is Dev's HABIT of taking Sona for granted life this. Had this been a one off incident, I would have actually praised them both. But Dev takes unilateral decisions all the time, mostly he remains unapologetic too - this was the first time he apologized, that is why I am looking at this scene more favorably i suppose.

When Ishu starts putting ideas in his mind, through her manipulations, antics and drama, he gets so immersed in that idea that he takes an impulsive decision to correct it like a person full of jumping nerves. He wants everything to calm down in that moment only, and then he takes the decision which would look favorable in his mother's eyes. Obviously, what is correct in his mother's eye is generally what is not in favour of Sona, so he inadvertently hurts her, wherein Sona does not have an option but to compromise. Why? because no one asked her. This time around compromise was a little sweeter as it came with an apology at least, which gives me a signal that Dev's brain at least registered that he has hurt Sona.

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@NBT-BV

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#60

Originally posted by: WeRockTheWorld
Tia , what do you think Dev's reaction will be tomorrow when Neha accuses Sona?? Will Sona get shouting from Dev because she told her Parents that she doesnt want to go because there is some problem betwn Neha and Ranveer??
My heart says , there are chances...80% chances that she is going to get it from him or from some one else and he is going to be on mute mode...

Ur thoughts??

A mute husband😆😆 - the bigger question is the response of Sona - will it be an upright persons confident response or a lame explanation to the morons