Posted:
It is most of the time that I find genuine support and solace in your posts Deepa di.
Standing into Sonakshi's shoes when I read such negative responses around, being called a doormat and stuff, I genuinely start getting agitated. I am unmarried, but fiercely independent. I don't exactly sit and wait for a man to bring forward my life, coz I myself am capable of doing it.
Yet, I am been taught to take it low and bend when it comes to your family. Be it before marriage or after marriage. Not exactly to become somebody's punching bag, but that exact shoulder that never deceives. I was taught to mingle around if whichever family I am married to, and try being a part of it. Just like Sona is doing.
I don't find her losing her originality in it. I am telling so because, we are watching this for two weeks, but in the show's timeline it was just day four. And don't we try mingling around for initial few days even when we go to stay at any relative's house? Just because we are agreeing to them makes us a doormat?
It certainly is just the starting of her life, once she begins with her work, she will obviously have lesser time to try becoming an ideal bahu, and obviously will be lesser reasons for the family to hurl insults at her.
And looking by Dev, he himself isn't able to contend himself with the little attention he is getting from his wife. He is going to demand his night time rightfully from her. I am obviously not talking about the sexual reasons, but more the emotional support, on which Dev has started resting his tired body on.
Amidst so many negative posts and comments on Dev's outburst, I find few who can relate to his frustration and confusion. Thank you for not outrightly blaming him for his behavior and criticizing him.
Your post was a respite more because I can see the lessons my mother had given me out of her experience from a marriage into an impossible family, in your posts. The lessons of not getting any smaller bending for your loved ones. The lessons of not leaving the in laws place for the matter of not being accepted by them. The lessons of holding patience for the initial few years of marriage coz you are going through loads of emotional, physical, hormonal changes what with marriage, new environment, new people, then kids start coming into account, pregnancy, adjusting around having a baby around, loads of things. And then slowly things start getting settled. That is what it happens in a normal case scenario, with or without inlaws...
Ofcourse you can always leave the place if the abuse begins anytime. That is a total different case scenario. Then no one in the world will ask the girl to not be someone's punching bag or the doormat.
But if that is not, your lessons, lessons by my mother are a bundle of respite that, it is okay to adjust even when you are a 21st century independent girl. Because family is the name of love, and to adjust and compromise is the second side of the coin of love.
Even Dev has learnt to compromise, in his own words "Dev Dixit ko aaj tak koi jhuka nahi paaya hai, par pyaar ne jhuka diya"... It's not just Bending and sitting on your knees to propose, it is the feeling to let go your ego ASAP and come home early and apologize. It is to quietly listen to the taunts of your father In law, because he is the father of my love, and if he is angry, he has to listen to it without doing an ouch. Even when your wife listens to your family's taunts, you can also come down to listening her family's words.
When Dev is compromising for the love of his wife no one calls him a doormat. But when the wife does, all the feminism comes to the fore.
It is a two way road, and I love your posts on this.
Thank you. 🤗
Standing into Sonakshi's shoes when I read such negative responses around, being called a doormat and stuff, I genuinely start getting agitated. I am unmarried, but fiercely independent. I don't exactly sit and wait for a man to bring forward my life, coz I myself am capable of doing it.
Yet, I am been taught to take it low and bend when it comes to your family. Be it before marriage or after marriage. Not exactly to become somebody's punching bag, but that exact shoulder that never deceives. I was taught to mingle around if whichever family I am married to, and try being a part of it. Just like Sona is doing.
I don't find her losing her originality in it. I am telling so because, we are watching this for two weeks, but in the show's timeline it was just day four. And don't we try mingling around for initial few days even when we go to stay at any relative's house? Just because we are agreeing to them makes us a doormat?
It certainly is just the starting of her life, once she begins with her work, she will obviously have lesser time to try becoming an ideal bahu, and obviously will be lesser reasons for the family to hurl insults at her.
And looking by Dev, he himself isn't able to contend himself with the little attention he is getting from his wife. He is going to demand his night time rightfully from her. I am obviously not talking about the sexual reasons, but more the emotional support, on which Dev has started resting his tired body on.
Amidst so many negative posts and comments on Dev's outburst, I find few who can relate to his frustration and confusion. Thank you for not outrightly blaming him for his behavior and criticizing him.
Your post was a respite more because I can see the lessons my mother had given me out of her experience from a marriage into an impossible family, in your posts. The lessons of not getting any smaller bending for your loved ones. The lessons of not leaving the in laws place for the matter of not being accepted by them. The lessons of holding patience for the initial few years of marriage coz you are going through loads of emotional, physical, hormonal changes what with marriage, new environment, new people, then kids start coming into account, pregnancy, adjusting around having a baby around, loads of things. And then slowly things start getting settled. That is what it happens in a normal case scenario, with or without inlaws...
Ofcourse you can always leave the place if the abuse begins anytime. That is a total different case scenario. Then no one in the world will ask the girl to not be someone's punching bag or the doormat.
But if that is not, your lessons, lessons by my mother are a bundle of respite that, it is okay to adjust even when you are a 21st century independent girl. Because family is the name of love, and to adjust and compromise is the second side of the coin of love.
Even Dev has learnt to compromise, in his own words "Dev Dixit ko aaj tak koi jhuka nahi paaya hai, par pyaar ne jhuka diya"... It's not just Bending and sitting on your knees to propose, it is the feeling to let go your ego ASAP and come home early and apologize. It is to quietly listen to the taunts of your father In law, because he is the father of my love, and if he is angry, he has to listen to it without doing an ouch. Even when your wife listens to your family's taunts, you can also come down to listening her family's words.
When Dev is compromising for the love of his wife no one calls him a doormat. But when the wife does, all the feminism comes to the fore.
It is a two way road, and I love your posts on this.
Thank you. 🤗
