A Different Perspective - Mr Dev Dixit - Page 5

Originally posted by: pkbdas61

excellent view points written with so much clarity.

More from my side - can someone continue to live in the past and find refuge for his / her actions under the guise of being abnormal. Dev of yesterday is not Dev of today. He is a businessman, a tycoon, overseeing an empire as we are given to believe. he is on the board of directors of companies.. He is shown to be very mature in his decisions - remember when Gujral retaliated on his business and he encountered losses? his team advised to take legal action. He denied that action on account of respect for Natasha and her support. Even when he broke off with Natasha, see the way he explained to her.. in a very mature This is the true spirit of a man..

Yes, for Dev his mom is very important. Therefore, all he should have done is talk this with Sona, who is a very understanding girl and explain to her the situation and then decide to delay any prospective marriage for some time to come. He really did not have to hurt someone to please some body else.Why does the man in him flee when it comes to matters of his mother and his own heart?

Originally posted by: pkbdas61

what i would do would be exactly what Sona had told Dev eon's back (remember the coffee scene on the hood of the car) when he was about to get married to Natasha.. if two people are in love, they will wait for each other, no matter the time. 4 years is not a small amount of time nor will more.. love is patient, love is kind... love is understanding.. I would as a mature adult talk to my mother and my girlfriend. Yes, i would not walk out as i would know my financial responsibilities too.

the key point - i am not able to digest about Dev is that he is hurting his partner / going to hurt his partner. nothing, nothing ever can justify anyone hurting a life partner.. No situation, no mother, no relatives etc.. it is a deeply personal relationship and nothing else should matter. - i wouldnot say its purely personal, but dev should have been Lil more sensitive towards sona. Here dev taken sona granted, it should not happen like that.. He should have known how to protect her self respect.. now I just wish sona out of this dixit house.. dev should learn value his life partner.. He should see her beyond his mother..

Sorry If I affended you in my comment :)

Originally posted by: pkbdas61

perfectly valid point of view and respected.

by leaving home, and it was easy at all, it did not mean that i was breaking my relationship with my parents. it was a distancing that i chose with my parents and not the love of my life.

In the last years of my parents life, both mom and dad stayed with me and my wife.. and the very lady that they once despised was their refuge'. They eventually wanted her more than they wanted me!!. I travel a lot so there were weeks when my wife used to single handedly take care of my parents, one of whom became bed ridden. Both died in peace under the care of my wife, I was travelling when they breathed their last.

My POV is not to ditch someone to whom a word has been given.. there are other ways to handle a situation.

Originally posted by: pkbdas61

excellent view points written with so much clarity.

More from my side - can someone continue to live in the past and find refuge for his / her actions under the guise of being abnormal. Dev of yesterday is not Dev of today. He is a businessman, a tycoon, overseeing an empire as we are given to believe. he is on the board of directors of companies.. He is shown to be very mature in his decisions - remember when Gujral retaliated on his business and he encountered losses? his team advised to take legal action. He denied that action on account of respect for Natasha and her support. Even when he broke off with Natasha, see the way he explained to her.. in a very mature This is the true spirit of a man..

Yes, for Dev his mom is very important. Therefore, all he should have done is talk this with Sona, who is a very understanding girl and explain to her the situation and then decide to delay any prospective marriage for some time to come. He really did not have to hurt someone to please some body else.Why does the man in him flee when it comes to matters of his mother and his own heart?

Originally posted by: pkbdas61

Okay, i know that there are so many lovely ladies out there who love Dev.. and who may also empathize with him given his circumstances and his love for his mom. However, as a man, i am not just not able to relate to what i am seeing of Dev. I mean with all the news of break up, et al.. I do not mean any offense to anyone but since this serial KRPKAB has become a part of my daily life.. especially during my long and lonely travels.

I am just normal man, who met a woman many years ago, courted her for 4 long years before getting married to her. I loved my parents and they were very possessive of me and my choices. When i broke the news of my girl friend to my parents, i met with such intense resistance. Instead of attacking me, they attacked the girl that i love. They spared no effort to ruin her character, her reputation, her family... all this behind my back.. As soon as i came to know of it, i did not even for a moment hesitate to back the girl fully. I walked out of my home, with just a suitcase in my hand, moved to another city and got married to the girl i loved. it has been 34 years since... a long, long time.. but the memories of those rough events still remain in mind. When i look back i feel happy that i did the right thing.

therefore, i cannot, even for a moment, empathize with this character Dev, seeing how he went overboard to express his love for Sona.. She loves him equally, if not more, but is more subdued and practical in her expressions. Dev made promises to himself, to Sona, and was more vocal about his affections for her, inspite of his mother. A real man lives up to his commitments, no matter what the price he has to pay. A real man, does not make false commitments, especially when it comes to matters of honor and love. Finding it extremely difficult to even understand this guy Dev.

he can afford to break up with his girl friend just because he is not married yet? what about the commitments made to himself and to Sona? What if he was married to Sona and then discovered that his mother did not approve? would he divorce her then? Can he split up with her just because he finds Sona a soft target? On the contrary, the softer the target, the stronger should be the man's resolve and more protective should he be.

He is a business magnet and deals with a lot of global people. As one of the leading business leaders (as his face is published in so many magazines) his main job is to communicate. Given this fact, I am finding it extremely hard to understand as to why Dev is not able to talk to his mother on matters close to his heart, to tell her that he loves her and more importantly Sona loves her like her own. He has seen Sona call her Maa so many times. All it takes is a few moments of conversation. Why should be be scared to talk about it.. the guy literally pisses in his pants at the sight of his mother and the prospect of talking of his love (sorry for the use of the phrase).

Finally, a real man, never gives in to threats. Even if it is a matter of life and death and when it comes to one's honor and word (looks like Dev needs to see the movie - an officer and a gentleman!). So if your mother attempts to commit suicide, you fall back on your word? you won't even try to talk to her?

Sorry wonderful ladies out there. no offense meant to anyone.. But Dev is not a real man and certainly not one on whom a girl should rely and trust or ever fall in love with. Only pain awaits that girl. He is not a man of his word.

Originally posted by: bookworm123

Thank you for sharing your story and for opening up this wonderful thread. The underlying message in your post for me is not about choosing/taking sides between people we love BUT about firstly not making promises lightly and secondly trying your hardest (and even more) to honour the ones you make.

Originally posted by: WeRockTheWorld

Exactly the point !! You stand by your word if not don't commit . When he promised and if he couldn't get married so soon , he could have asked for time to find a solution for all and not to walk away choosing sides.

Originally posted by: desigirl987

Thank you for acknowledging my different POV , again I beg to differ ,I dont think Dev is a man who lives in the past , I penned down some scenarios in the past which made the man in the present - Dev Dixit , why this man admire his mom as God , and the extremity he could go to when it comes to his mom/family. If anyone who is stuck in the past its none other than Ishwari . Then about ur point of him being a business man who is supposed to be mature , If you recall his talk in the accident episode he explains Sona why its is easy for him to deal with people in business and how its difficult for him when it comes to relationships , as he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings even when he knew they are wrong .His mother had such an impact in his life , even falling in love ,he now know the wonderful person she is but , you can't deny the fact that the first attraction towards Sona was because of her dedication towards his mom , and as he told her during accident scene if he knew anything about her from day 1 ,its that she is a fighter who would never give up , a quality he admired in his mom .

Now in Natasha's case he was unable to take decision and sought Ishwari's guidance repeatedly but she assured him its about his life and he should solely decide it but she will be with him whatever it is , so once he knew what he wanted , it was never difficult for him as he knew she would support him . As I pointed out in the previous post he never had a reason to think otherwise that his mom is unhappy about Sona.Even if he had a clue , he would have fought for his love by convincing his mother . As someone posted here before , he lost the battle here even before he knew there was a fight . He is living in a bubble , and the moment it burst , it would have crushed him looking at his mother who always was a fighter but feeling defeated lying down in the hospital bed fighting for her life because of him . As I said we still dont know how the story will unwind leading to separation so lets not hastily judge and label him like "Dev is not a real man" as you said in the previous post but lets wait and watch ...

Originally posted by: pkbdas61

The main message about Dev, as a man, is simple. If you cannot keep a commitment, do not make it.

In the case of Natasha he did not get a chance to make a commitment as Mr Gujral did not give him time. Yet, he took time to explain to Natasha that he does not love her. He also told his mother, post facto, why he broke his engagement with Natasha.

In the case of Sona, he has made so many commitments, not one. Many of them were eventually destined to be broken as he assumed so many things including his mom's complete support.

so if his mom does not support him, he breaks this commitment? So what if his mom may be in hospital.. People even die... Does the death of someone near and dear make one beak a commitment to a living one? What if she was not in hospital, hale and hearty and yet opposed his relationship with Sona? Would he then break commitments? The fundamental thing is commitments are absolutely unconditional , with no ifs and buts, least of all guilt! In fact the whole institution of marriage is built, not on rituals or people, or parents, but on one word - commitment - to a partner.

I will qualify my earlier statement and state that Dev is not a man - yet. He is still a 'boy'. Matters such as love, commitment, marriage are too serious for such a boy. That is why he can be impulsive and talk of breaking off. He will eventually grow up and grow out of the situation that he himself has created.