DevAkshi OS- Orange (Note on pg 8) - Page 2

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JyotiBThakur thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#11
OMG Pari... This is amazing... I have no words to explain how beautifully you have written the OS.😳
While reading i was imagining DevAkshi and yes every word of it suits DevAkshi... Kudos to you..👏😳
uthraa.m thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#12
Nice os
Short and sweet 👏
AnatomyAddict thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#13

Originally posted by: Pilu05

Simply awesome

Colour elaboration was beautiful



I am also pretty glad you picked up on that! Mainly bcos I really wanted to write on it, but the colour is so random, I had to wreck my cortex for ideas 😆

THANK YOU VERY BERY MUCH ❤️
sammy8182 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#14

Originally posted by: AnatomyAddict



Okay erm I will 20 this year.
But I just want to say, feedback is feedback: bad or good. I will take it in all honesty because that's what you feel I should improve upon and I will take it in stride. I won't fight you on it, nor will I be heartbroken over it. In fact I will endlessly love you because feedback are only given when you think something will be improved upon bcos you think it has potential. Please don't hold back whatever it is you want to say, I will be able to take whatever it is. ❤️

Hmmm...So u r 20 haan...
Let me begin with this...


Orange. The shade falling between red and yellow, in between passion and happiness. The in between madness and euphoria. In between him and her.

She was his passion and he was her happiness. Their love blended together in ways that was magical, turbulent, chaotic, enthralling. Neither said a word. Neither reciprocated. They found words too trivial, too fickle, too superficial.

They didn't need words, they had each other. To them it was a mutual understanding, acceptance of their fate. She couldn't keep herself away from him and he couldn't, wouldn't, let her go. He couldn't stand up to the person who had given him life, neither he couldn't back away from the person who had given his life a new dimension.
i must say ur these lines bowled me for ur amazing maturity in understanding a relationship & personifying with the colour orange...the reason i asked u ur age is i found this take so brilliant & mesmarising & must say Being jus 20 is only the number...U hve good eye for human emotions & even better to express it
Take a bow girl..I see immense potential in you as a writer...Wht u hve depicted jus now is the core essense of this serial in 20 mins at the age of 20...👏👏
Srry if i sounded bit rude in my first quote asking u age😉 ...but was curious to knw wht would be the age of person who is so good at expressing these in between emotions ...

Really luvd luvd ur take on this ...I hope & wish to see u writing more often...
Good luck 😊😊😊
AnatomyAddict thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#15

Originally posted by: JyotiBThakur

OMG Pari... This is amazing... I have no words to explain how beautifully you have written the OS.😳

While reading i was imagining DevAkshi and yes every word of it suits DevAkshi... Kudos to you..👏😳


OMG Jyoti!

You are too too kind girl!! I am actually over the moon with an idiotic smile on my face. Thank you very very very much❤️🤗
AnatomyAddict thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#16

Originally posted by: uthraa.m

Nice os

Short and sweet 👏


Thank You very much!❤️




AnatomyAddict thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#17

Many many thanks ❤️
Ferdous_69 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#18

Originally posted by: AnatomyAddict



Naaaw! thank you so much sweets! ❤️
You always comment but I have never asked you for your name!!


It's Ferdous...
Ur name????
Edited by Ferdous_69 - 9 years ago
basket_101 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#19
Hey Pari!
This was quite the read, I must say! I really like your style of writing!
But what I absolutely loved was the contrasting bits! Together yet apart, one of my favourites!

I realize you haven't had time to edit so I won't mention the few errors that need fixing up, but one thing you may want to fix as soon as you get the time is the title. You've written "DevAshki" instead of DevAkshi
It's hardly imp, but just thought you may like to know
:P
I do tend to get a little caught up with those things, so hope you don't mind


Anyway, all in all, this was an amazing story!
It was very poetic, yet not over-the-top. Simple and elegant, and you've really done a great job with your words!

Do keep writing!! Would love to read more stories from you ^_^
AnatomyAddict thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 9 years ago
#20

Originally posted by: sammy8182

Hmmm...So u r 20 haan...
Let me begin with this...


Orange. The shade falling between red and yellow, in between passion and happiness. The in between madness and euphoria. In between him and her.

She was his passion and he was her happiness. Their love blended together in ways that was magical, turbulent, chaotic, enthralling. Neither said a word. Neither reciprocated. They found words too trivial, too fickle, too superficial.

They didn't need words, they had each other. To them it was a mutual understanding, acceptance of their fate. She couldn't keep herself away from him and he couldn't, wouldn't, let her go. He couldn't stand up to the person who had given him life, neither he couldn't back away from the person who had given his life a new dimension.
i must say ur these lines bowled me for ur amazing maturity in understanding a relationship & personifying with the colour orange...the reason i asked u ur age is i found this take so brilliant & mesmarising & must say Being jus 20 is only the number...U hve good eye for human emotions & even better to express it
Take a bow girl..I see immense potential in you as a writer...Wht u hve depicted jus now is the core essense of this serial in 20 mins at the age of 20...👏👏
Srry if i sounded bit rude in my first quote asking u age😉 ...but was curious to knw wht would be the age of person who is so good at expressing these in between emotions ...

Really luvd luvd ur take on this ...I hope & wish to see u writing more often...
Good luck 😊😊😊


I have no words. I don't actually. I have my last exams in a few day's time and I told myself I'd be off IF till night and reply to everyone then. But I can't, not when I see this comment. But I teared up. I did. I write because writing is such a different feel for me, if I was actually committed and had a decent enough idea I would write a novel but I don't. So I write on TV characters, it sates the need to write!

When I see comments like these, it puts everything into perspective. That there are people out there who read what I write and appreciate it. I really don't know what to say, I just like writing about human emotion because it is so complex and everything we feel is pretty much a conflicting statement at best times. The complexity is very alluring to me!

I don't know what to say. I cannot form proper sentences right now. I took a screenshot of this and sent it to my dad (he used to write a lot when he was my age), he called me up in an instance and we all had a good little cry on the phone😆😆

Also, you didn't sound rude. I thought there was something that put you off my writing and I just really wanted to know what you thought. I was refreshing this thread for a long time trying to see your comment. I see this and I jumped up and down like a idiot that I am

I always treasure feedback and I will treasure this for a lifetime! A simple "Thank You" will never suffice my gratitude for you and your comment ❤️❤️

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