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I haven't had a chance yet to write my heart out...so here goes.
Heer: Bachpan se le kar aaj tak, Prem ke sapne sajaye baithi hai...Us Prem ke, jo uski kismat mein likha hai. Aur Heer ne hamesha sirf ussi se pyaar kiya hai...hamesha sirf usi se pyaar karegi.
Prem: Bachpan se le kar aaj tak, us ne bhi sirf ek hi chehre se pyaar kiya hai. Voh chehra jo usko hamesha chand mein nazar aata tha...voh chehra jo uski aankhen hamesha dhundti rehti thi...voh chehra, jo usne kabhi dekha nahi tha. Heer ka chehra...
They have always only ever loved one another. Heer, knowing Prem was her destiny, always loved him and him alone. And Prem, he knew there was someone out there, someone who was made to be his...she was always a part of him...after all, "heer toh prem ka prateeg hai....aur prem, sabse zyada heer mein samaya hai."
I'll never forget the first time their eyes met. It was as if they were seeing their own reflection in the eyes of a complete stranger, who infact wasn't a stranger at all.
I'll never forget how somehow, her chunari always found him, knowing where it belonged....where she belonged.
I'll never forget how he somehow he was always there - to take care of her, to protect her...as if without a thought, his body, his heart, his soul always knew that he was to protect her now and forever.
Suddenly, one day, her Prem had materialized; there he was, in the flesh...there he was, walking away from her, and into the arms of someone who would never care for him as much as she always had...and he, despite knowing he was to belong to Ash, always felt something pulling at his heart...always felt that he was turning his back on something bigger...something more powerful...something that was always meant to be.
It was her eyes that pierced his heart. The tears in her eyes tortured him. Aur Prem toh hai hi aisa...kisi ko takleef mein nahi dekh sakta. He saw more pain in those eyes than he could ever imagine...but behind the pain, he saw himself. Immediately, he knew that that pain was his own. Suddenly, that pain...Her pain was more important to him than his own existence...because for some reason unknown to him, this stranger and that pain became the biggest truth of his existence.
Their first encounter in Shiv mandir was such a spectacular scene...He stood there as he watched her cry her heart out. And in the truth of her words, he found himself...he found everything he'd ever believed. "Bhagwan do dilon ki jodi pehle se hi bana ke bhejta hai...Do insaanon ka dard unko kareeb le aata hai..." It was a beautiful scene...as she was saying those words, he was being drawn closer to her...Heer says "Voh dard jo ek insaan ko hota hai, aur doosra insaan usko mehsoos kar leta hai." This was the truth of Premeer's love...the truth of their lives. Us raat, Heer ke dard ko Prem ne mehsoos kiya...aur vahi dard un dono ka pyaar ban gaya.
"Tumhari aankhon mein itna dard kyou hai?", he wanted to know. He had to know...so he could bring heaven and earth together to fix it...to protect her from it. "Tumhari aankhon mein itna dard kyoun hai?....jahan dard hota hai, vahan baat nahi hoti, balki puri ki puri dastaan hoti hai...zuban jo baat nahi keh pati hai, ansoon kehte hai...har raaz, har dard khol dete hai..." He had to know her story...Her pain was his responsibility. He had to fix it. If he didn't, he would lose his life to guilt...agony. He couldn't bare to see her pain...just as she couldn't bare to burden him with it.
I'll never forget the scene where he first tries to confess his love to her...the beautiful words that came straight from his heart..."akhir tum mujhe mil hi gaiy...kab se dhound raha houn main tumhe." After all, he'd been looking for her his whole life...she has always been his pyar, his wafa..."aaj main jo bhi kahounga, poori imandari se kahounga..." I fell in love with him right then and there...he was so true, so pure..."mere dil mein aisi wafa hai jo koi bhi rishta tod ke bahar nikal sakti hai..." With those words, he promised to stand by her forever...
"Do pal ki hai ye dilon ki daastan, aur phir, chal diye, tum kahan, hum kahan..." They both belonged to someone else...she couldn't change that, and he wouldn't try for fear of ruining her chastity...his love, so pure that he would would protect her izzat at the cost of his love, his life. He only wanted to see her happy...he knew she couldn't be his...he could learn to live a meaningless without her...as long as he could ensure her happiness. He would give her hand to someone else himself, as long as he knew that she would cared for, loved, adored...as she was meant to be.
"Main voh ranjha nahin jo tumhari doli ke aage peeche ghoom ke tumhe badnaam karein! Main toh voh ranjha houn, jo tumhari doli khud apne kandhon par utha kar, khud iss ghar se vida karein...lekin sirf tab, jab voh insaan sahi ho. Lekin agar uss insaaan mein thodi si bhi gandagi nikli, ek bhi ahem nikli, toh meri arthi uth jaayegi, lekin tumhari doli kabhi nahi uthengi!"
This has to be my all-time favorite scene. The anger, the passion, the intensity. It was just beautiful. He would let her go, as long as he knew she was going to a safe haven. If not, he wouldn't spare the world for bringing another tear to her eyes...he always kept her tears so close to his heart...but flicked his own tears away, as if they meant nothing compared to her own tears...
He had promised to protect her...to stand between her and the world that had always caused her so much misery. And this past week, he did just that.
The marriage was getting closer...soon, he would belong to someone else forever. But seeing Manmeet, he realized that if he left Heer's side now, he would never be able to forgive himself. If he didn't fight for her, who would? If he didn't protect her, who would? And just like that, he throws his everything dear to him away. Because in the end, nothing is as important to him as she is. In the end, his "wafa" is with her...aur usko nibhane ke liye, woh koi bhi rishta tod sakta hai.
There he was, ready to ruin his own life...ready to marry this girl that he felt nothing for, only because his father had asked him to. But in no way would he stand there and watch Heer's life be ruined as well. No way would he let her be hurt. "Agar, agar yeh kal mandap pe Heer ke saath baitha, toh main aag laga dounga...is mandap ko aag laga dounga main!"
And then, all the sudden, his kismat smiled upon his a little. Ash decided that she would never marry someone who would always love someone else. This, was a blessing from Shivji himself. Suddenly, Prem was free...
My Harshu was beautiful in this scene. He never felt anything for Ash...but in that moment, he could sympathize with her. In that moment, he realized that this rishta was forced upon her as well - just as it had been forced upon him. And my beautiful Prem, refused to say or do anything that would ruin someone else's life...kyounki uski apni zindagi toh woh barbaad kar sakta tha, lekin kisi aur ki zindagi barbaad karne ka uski koi haq nahi tha...
I was blown away...how could someone be so selfless...so giving? The way he looked at Ash...the truth in his eyes then was unbelievable...
He stood there, accepting the consequences of his actions...excepting DJ's hatred for him...her cruelty to him...knowing he probably deserved it...
But then, he saw that same cruelty being driven in Heer's direction, and this, he could not...would not stand for. With every slap Heer received from DJ, Prem's anger increased. And then, he stepped in, and wrapped his arms around her...fulfilling his promise to always protect her - just as he always had in the past.
At that moment, the rest of the world, the rest of his life meant nothing to him. Nothing was more important to her than her...in that moment, he said goodbye to every other relationship in his life...just as he told her he would...."meri dil mein aisi wafa hai jo koi bhi rishta tod ke bahar nikal sakti hai."...he had said this to her once...and now, he was staying true to his word...in that moment, nothing was more important to him than the fact that her chastity was being questioned...someone had raised a finger to her purity. And this, he would not stand for.
"Agar kisi ne bhi aankh utha kar Heer ki taraf dekha, toh main uski aankhen phod dounga....yeh ladki mere aur mere parivaar ke beech mein kabhi nahi ayi...toh aap ne isko sabke saamne zaleel kaise kiya?"....This was Prem, and his prem at its best....
The way he looked at her then...willing her not to cry, not to worry...he was with her now, and nothing and no one could come between them. And she looked at him begging for his forgiveness...begging him to condone her for misunderstanding him, and his love...
And suddenly, Prem's life had changed forever. He had to chose between his love, and his family. His family that meant everything to him now stood between him and the one other person he could never turn his back on.
Prem's father, had always been the most important person in his life. The one person he would do anything for. He loved his father just as much as he loved Heer...if not more. His relationship with his father was decades old...compared to it, his relationship with his one true love was still so young. Ek hi pal mein, uske liye uske bauji ek taraf khade the, aur uska pyar dusri taraf. Ek pal mein uska dono mein se chunauti karne ka waqt aa gaya.
How could he leave his father, who was no less than his God? But why didn't his father, his God, understand that he couldn't leave his love either?
And just like that, his bhagwan refused to acknowledge his existence. His bhagwan accused his devotee of stealing his pride and honor from him.
Harshad was brilliant in that scene...Prem was brilliant. The rest of the world disappeared then...for that moment, it was about him, and his father...God the look on his face was heartwrenching. His eyes said it all...silently he was asking his father to forgive him...to understand that he would never do anything to hurt him...to understand that his world was at his father's feet, so how could he ever do anything to cause him pain? How could his father accuse him of something so horrible. Beneath it all, he was appalled that his father didn't know him better than that...didn't understand him better than that. He couldn't believe his father thought he would throw away his relationship with his family for a girl, when just a few minutes before, he was ready to throw away his love for a girl, for his father's happiness. Not only did his father misunderstand him, but he also misjudged his father's faith in him.
The beauty of Prem is, and has always been that despite his love for Heer, he always understood ke jo rishta ma baap ke saath hota hai, voh sabse uncha hota hai, aur ek bete ko voh rishta sabse pehle nibhana chahiye. Ek beta kabhi apne ma bauji ko dukh nahi pahauncha sakta. When it comes to choosing between your love and your parents, its an impossible decision to make. Even before, when after telling everyone he loved Heer, he still decided to marry Ash only for his father's happiness, he wasn't turning his back on his love, he was only fulfilling his responsibility towards his father. This is the beauty of Prem....this is the essence of Prem.
As he begged his father not to send him away; to understand that a devotee can never be apart from his God, and live happily, he also begged his destiny not to make him choose between the two most important things in his life. But in vain, kyounki ab faisla uske haath mein nahi tha. Uske bhagwan ne hukum diya tha, aur usko uss hukum ka palan karna tha.
Even when he was leaving, he made sure his father knew that he would always be there for him...he would always come back the moment his father asked him to. Because nothing was more important to him than his father, his family. He had never hoped to leave his family for Heer...he had only hoped Heer could also be a part of the family he loved so much.
His father had pronounced that Prem was now dead for him...but Prem, Prem goes to his mother and begs her not to cry...because if she cries, then who would be the strength his father needed so much. Who would wipe his tears?
And just like that, without saying a word, Prem does as his father asked...he takes Heer's hand in his own, and leaves.
In that moment, the two didn't need to say anything to each other...He knew that she loved him just as much as he loves her....he knew that she understood that he was only doing what his father asked of him...and she followed him without a word...as if to say that she would follow him to the end of the world...through good and bad...because as long as she has him, she knows there's nothing to fear.
And thus starts their new life together. In a run down makaan that Heer and Meher immediately make their own. Meher was brilliant. Seeing Prem's discomfort, his almost...sharmindagi in bringing them to such a place that in his eyes wasn't worthy of them...Meher immediately took it upon herself to assure him that it was perfect...more than they could have wished for. Brilliantly she excuses herself from the scene knowing the two need a moment together.
Their eyes speak volumes...they've never needed words anyway. He silently apologizes for not having more to offer her...and she silently thanks him for saving her. And as if to convey her acceptance to him, she places a picture of her bhagwan on the wall...telling him she's home.
"Ek ajnabi sa, ehsaas dil ko sataye...shayad yehi toh pyaar hai..." For the first time, Prem and Heer have a moment to themselves...to convey their love for each other without worrying that someone will see...someone will disapprove. He comes in from the rain, drenched, and finds her there...
That one look conveyed his every emotion....his passion, his love, his pain. And as she came down the ladder and stood infront of him, he raised his eyes towards her with such meaning...such purpose. She and met his gaze, his eyes radiated his longing for her....and, his thankfulness for the fact that she was with him.
As he stepped towards her, his eyes filled with his undyeing love for her, it was as if he was no longer in his senses...and she shied away from him as the emotions in her own heart went haywire. It was so intense...he looked at her telling her he loved her...but he was also testing her at the same time...attempting to force her to admit that she felt it too...and when his hand lifted towards the towel behind her, as she shied away from him thinking he would finally rest his beautiful hand against the softness of her skin, his question was affirmed. He grabs the towel, brings her back to her senses, and proceeds to set her soul on fire with his gaze as he wipes his face with the towel. That gaze said it all...it conveyed his awareness of her love, and silently said "I love you too..." And just like that, knowing that if he didn't move quick, he wouldn't be able to stop himself or the burning desire to be close to her, he proceeds towards the door.
She stops him, with concern, and he turns and looks at her with intense passion...as if to say, let me go or I won't be able to stop myself.
He sits in the rain, not only letting it cool his desire, but also letting it wash away his tears....and he turns to see her standing there at the window, shedding her own tears....tears for him...as today, she shares his pain...just as he has always shared hers....
Love,
Prem Ki Deewani,
~Payal
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