who is wrong Prachi or Sanchi? - Page 6

Originally posted by: Heema22

Hi, I am Heema not Hema .There are lots of Hema on the forum . R U Jes ?

I like when some one disagrees with me and makes me think harder to explain my self . It's very healthy

Plase ,understand I was doing character analysis and not criticism .

Prachi is trying to be parent , very difficult job. She trying to please her siblings to keep them happy .There's absolutely nothing wrong with pleasing people, including ourselves. If she is willing to make sacrifices for the sake for her siblings who are we to say that's wrong? But the fact is, people pleasing isn't about pleasing others, but fending off our fear of rejection. The fact is, when we try to please everybody, we end up pleasing nobody. Tired from the burnout that comes from the over extension of ourselves and frustrated by the fact that we keep letting others take advantage of us. Sachi needs tough love approach to handle spoil brat like Prachi.

Now you gave me your example to make a point and I give you mine. I think our both mothers are right. They both had different way of parenting .

From first grade ,my mother started to give me household chores . Every grade my chores increased . When I was in High school cooking and cleaning and laundry was part of my chores. In college I had more chores and even day of my exam I had had to finish them because my mom was a teacher and she didn't believes that I should be mugging on day of exam . Totally different approach from your mom . No one is wrong or right . My mother had different goals .Today I am very appreciative of my Mom because that taught me incredible time management skills and today I am excellent cook and can manage my household independently and not fearful of any exams . So it's "different strokes for different flock.So patents need to decide what is best for their children . Prachi need tough love approach . She is not irresponsible . College grad with work and new promotion . So away from home ,she is responsible but at home she doesn't lift her finger why ? Who is responsible for this ?Prachi disobeys or disrespectful to her family because family lets her this is allowed from her childhood . Up to today's episode Sachi is trying to please her sister and no one sets limits or puts their foot down .

Today I wanted Prachi to stand up and say " get lost " to Sunil and his family . she didn't do it because she always got what she wanted and never developed that sense of self respect and responsibility. She throws tantrum and she gets what she wants! Why ?we are product of genes , environment and upbringing . So Prachi is not an exception .

So I think ,both characters are responsible for mess they are in today .

Originally posted by: nutan7

hi Jes continue to express your views . you show us different angle

Originally posted by: ...Jes...

opps sorry for that .. though i realized later posting that i wrote ur name wrong 😳 yah i m jes :)
i totally agree with you in the last para that it is about genes,environments & upbringing ... but also there is a difference .. parents try to store same values in evry child but all fingers are not same .. if u have seen Addu is also treated the same way but he is always there to support her sis & family , well he is never forced & even more pampered as he is a boy & also the youngest of three .. rem he also said sorry to DV so many times .. but yes i totally blame Sacchi for this .. she again agreed for the proposal & also bcoz she is not prachi's parent as prachi pointed out .. so this time she is just playing the role fo sis & giving her what she wants :) .. well some thing u need to gain by urself as of morals .. parents can help u but ultimately its ur choice .. as u r not a machine or robo , u have ur senses & no matter what others teach u , ultimtaley u wil do ur thing .. like me & u discussing we r talking what we feel .. & also when our 4nds or parents advise us something we ultimately do what we like to do :)
actually i have seen many girls like this as i m just a college going girl & i see girls like this only .. i m not like them(who value love atop their self esteem) .. & reason is my mom made me like this & why i m saying abt my mom is bcoz she pampers me just like sachi pampers prachi but i chose to giver her love the greatest priority.. & if we talk abt genetical terms then prachi shld be like her bro & sis but here is also one thing about ur up bringing & environment .. so prachi just chose be dif like most of girls who never values love of the family but values love of bfs .. like as we saw when she came to know sachi has talked to sunil she is saying sorry & behaving well .. so isn't this selfishness ? & once we do mistake , like forst time she ddin't know abt sunil & his family so her crazy love was even justified but now she knows abt his family & their cult .. so at least now she can think of her self esteem?is this demanding from a girl is wrong? but she won't .. coz most o the girls do the same as they lack self esteem ... :) & being a girl i like to enlighten the truth that only this attitude of girls has made girls life so painful for them .. ! & here comes the reason to balne prachi , most of parents are ready to give their girls to such family & do not even feel pity on them but here when sachi is fighting for her sis's self esteem & prachi is rather blaming sachi .. ??? how come sachi is making prachi have no self esteem??? i m talking abt here a girl having self esteem , a girl from roads even can have self esteem but many childs from good families don't have it !
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I know Sanchi is responding to Prachi's guilt routine but I have serious doubts that if their parent were alive they will do what Sachi agreeing to do , most educated parents will try to make some sense I children's head and point out reality ! so why Sachi is behaving like she is super person and can solve any problem ? Unrealistic approach to life .

Now your statement about difference between Addi and Prachi and Sachi . siblings grew up in different environments so you are bound to be different. But you also each inherited a completely different set of genes from each parent. This means you are a completely new, never before seen genetic combination. children from the same family live in the same household, does that mean that they are exposed to the same environment? No! Children will have different relationships, might be in different schools, and might have different habits for things like eating and exercise.so every one is different and that's the real beauty of this word and genetics !

Just like you I have seen lots if spoiled brats and many girls who behavior is very questionable when they are in love . They only think with their heart and not with their brain. When you are talikg about self estesm in my book neither Prachi or Sachi has healthy one. There is big difference between ,healthy self-esteem and pseudo or unhealthy self-esteem. A sense of personal worth without competence is just as limiting as competence without worthiness. it is certainly possible for individuals to have an over-inflated sense of either worth or competence.one has to develop high self-esteem that is well grounded in reality and balanced between an equal sense of worth and competence-- they both need to evaluate their self worth . If you ask me they both lack healthy self esteam . Sachi is older and Prachi needs a role model to Learn.sachi needs to help Prachi with set realistic goals for achievement instead of imposing unreachable goals .

Edited by Heema22 - 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Heema22

I know Sanchi is responding to Prachi's guilt routine but I have serious doubts that if their parent were alive they will do what Sachi agreeing to do , most educated parents will try to make some sense I children's head and point out reality ! so why Sachi is behaving like she is super person and can solve any problem ? Unrealistic approach to life .

Now your statement about difference between Addi and Prachi and Sachi . siblings grew up in different environments so you are bound to be different. But you also each inherited a completely different set of genes from each parent. This means you are a completely new, never before seen genetic combination. children from the same family live in the same household, does that mean that they are exposed to the same environment? No! Children will have different relationships, might be in different schools, and might have different habits for things like eating and exercise.so every one is different and that's the real beauty of this word and genetics !

Just like you I have seen lots if spoiled brats and many girls who behavior is very questionable when they are in love . They only think with their heart and not with their brain. When you are talikg about self estesm in my book neither Prachi or Sachi has healthy one. There is big difference between ,healthy self-esteem and pseudo or unhealthy self-esteem. A sense of personal worth without competence is just as limiting as competence without worthiness. it is certainly possible for individuals to have an over-inflated sense of either worth or competence.one has to develop high self-esteem that is well grounded in reality and balanced between an equal sense of worth and competence-- they both need to evaluate their self worth . If you ask me they both lack healthy self esteam . Sachi is older and Prachi needs a role model to Learn.sachi needs to help Prachi with set realistic goals for achievement instead of imposing unreachable goals .

Prachi is no doubt wrong.And I think no other thought can come in my mind if I analyze her activities.She seems to me a pampered girl who is provided all the luxuries in life ,she desires by her sister.But now what she is demanding ,that is making her family bow down before all unethical demands by her would be in-laws is just not right.She is pretty much adamant to get married to the guy whom she loves without even being realizing what she is getting into and making her family going through.She is acting like a dumb and selfish sister,who cares for her happiness only.

But I think Sanchi is also to be blamed, as she is bowing down infront of her sister.Sanchi very well knows that Prachi is wrong ,but still she is getting her married to this guy.I wonder why her Nani and Aaji is not voicing their opinion firmly.I want them to say...Sanchi we r against this marriage and if u still want it to happen, then we r out of this.
Parents do love there children but do stop them from making wrong decisions and go to any extent to protect them and come out from their wrong thinking.And Sanchi had been like a motherly figure to her siblings.

Originally posted by: Heema22

Jes . Sorry about the delay . Busy life . We can go on about Sachi and Prachi . I think we both made our points .

I am going to answer your question about. Sachi self esteem .

I gather you know lot about self esteem . part of our self esteem is " self actualizations" Self-actualized people tend to accept themselves and others as they are. They tend to lack inhibition and are able to enjoy themselves and their lives free of guilt . Another major characteristic of self-actualized people is a sense of realism. Rather than being fearful of things that are different or unknown, the self-actualized individual is able to view things logically and rationally.

I feel that the way Sachis chareter is written she lacks self actualizations. Tends to take up job are beyond her capacity or out of reach . These people are consider with low self esteem but they come across like they are very confidant .person with heathy self esteem fights back and give good fight before accepting failure.

It was good discussion see you on different thread