Recap: Everyone is back from Delhi. RoKa are back to work and are trying hard to avoid each other. Amar has proposed to Kasturi.
Part 10: I love you
Kasturi stood there absolutely shocked at Amar's words, she looked around and saw the happiness on her family's faces, she did not know how to react, a blank expression covered her face. After waiting for an answer from Kasturi for a few minutes Amar slowly rose to his feet, he looked straight at Kasturi trying to work out why she wasn't saying anything.
Amar: I shocked you right Kasturi? But come on yaar say something, I am literally holding my breath hear waiting for an answer.
Kasturi took her hand out of Amars hand, turned her back and said:
Amar your right you have shocked me, I did not expect this at all.
Amar: Kasturi I know its all a bit sudden but I cant wait any longer, I have to confess my feelings to you……….I love you Kasturi, I want to marry you.
Kasturi closed her eyes tight and let drop a silent tear. She was waiting to hear those words, but not from Amar. Kasturi had to tell Amar the truth, there was no point building up his hopes, its not fair on him. She wiped her eyes took a deep breath and said: Amar I cant marry you.
There was silence in the room, Amar looked around at Kasturi's family, they too held a confused look on their faces.
Amar: Kasturi I know I have really shocked you, but its not a problem if you feel its too soon to get married than its fine, I can wait.
Kasturi took a hard sigh and turned around.
Kasturi: No Amar its not about getting married, its about how I feel
Amar: Kasturi if you want more time to get to know me than its fine, you don't have to tell me how you feel now, I just wanted you to know that….I love you.
Kasturi: No Amar you don't understand, as much as I know you you're a great person and a great friend but I don't love you.
Amar: Like I said Kasturi you don't have to love me now, I am ready to wait for you, I know I have said and done everything in a hurry, maybe I should have waited. But Kasturi I honestly thought you felt the same way, I even spoke to you yesterday, you said to me do what your heart says; and my heart told me that, yes Kasturi loves you too.
Kasturi stood there looking at Amar, she felt so bad for rejecting him like that, she didn't want to tell him the real reason but its obvious Amar still holds a hope of her saying yes.
Kasturi: Amar I had no idea you were talking about me, all this time I thought you liked Diya and were going to propose to her not me. I am really sorry but I cant except this proposal.
Amar felt tears well up in his eyes. The rest of Kasturi's family left the room, leaving them both alone to talk things through.
Amar: Why not Kasturi? I am ready to wait for you then why cant you except me?
Kasturi: Amar please I cant tell you the reason why, not now anyway.
Amar: okay Kasturi I wont force you for an answer now, but remember if you do change your mind I am here waiting for you.
Feeling sad and dejected Amar left her house. Kasturi sat on the chair and saw Amar had left the ring on the table. She picked it up and looked at it in her hands. Kasturi thought in her mind: how can I accept your proposal Amar, when I love someone else? How can I explain to you the reason why I said no, how will it look if I tell you I love someone else but have no idea what that person feels about me? I am sorry for hurting you Amar, please forgive me.
Kaushi slowly walked into the room and put her hand on Kasturi's shoulder. Kasturi looked up at her mum.
Kaushi: what's the matter, why cant you accept Amar's proposal? He seems like a nice guy and he loves you a lot.
Kasturi: Maa I just need some time that's all.
Kasturi got up and ran to her room. She couldn't even tell her mum the real reason, not until Kasturi finds out the truth first. The whole evening Kasturi spent her time looking up at the night sky, as if looking for an answer. She knew it was going to be hard to move on, how is she going to forget about Robbie? How will she face Amar now? Kasturi felt mixed up and confused inside, she needed to know how Robbie feels about her, if he feels anything at all. Kasturi decided that she must go and find him, she left the house to go and meet Robbie.
Kasturi got in a taxi and headed to Sabarwal House. She thought in her head she will make the excuse of wanting to talk to Robbie about something at work so that no one feels its strange for Kasturi to visit Sabarwal house. Kasturi got out the taxi and walked towards the gates, she asked the guard at the gates if she can meet Robbie.
Guard: Robbie sir is not at home today
Kasturi: Where has he gone, when will he be back?
Guard: Every Fridays Robbie sir goes to his own bungalow; he spends the weekends over there. You can leave a message I will give it to him.
Kasturi: Its really important that I meet Robbie today. Please can you give me his address?
Guard: I usually don't give out his details, Robbie sir doesn't like to be disturbed on the weekends but since its important I will give it to you. But please explain to Robbie sir that you insisted for it otherwise he will be very angry with me.
Kasturi took the address and made her way to Robbie's bungalow. The area it was in was very quiet, its obvious only the rich and famous people live around here. Kasturi walked up to the gates, she was glad there was no guard standing at the front, she walked through the winding path along the front garden she could see the lights were on inside the house, she noticed Robbie's car parked by the side. As Kasturi got closer to the door her heart beat rose, the feeling of butterflies in her stomach increased with every step. She realised that it is going to take her great courage to face Robbie, but she has to do it.
Robbie was inside his house getting ready to go out, he picked up his keys and opened the front door. Robbie opened the door and was totally stunned and surprised to find Kasturi standing on his doorstep. They both stared at each other, Robbie looked on absolutely speechless and Kasturi swallowed hard feeling nervous and lost for words. She did not know what to say to him, she did not expect him to open the door suddenly.
Robbie: Kasturi what are you doing here?
Kasturi stammered on her words and said: I ermmmm came to talk to you
Robbie: about? Robbie was still in shock that Kasturi was standing at his door. They hadn't seen each other for a few days now. Robbie noticed Kasturi hesitate to answer; he knew there was something wrong.
Robbie: Come inside if you want, it's a bit chilly outside.
Kasturi walked inside to the large seating area, there was a square of grand brown leather coloured sofas with a large coffee table in the middle. A large Plasma TV hung on the wall, large mirrors, portraits and vases selectively put around the room . The house was designed with earth colours, Kasturi felt the house seem so cosy and warm. Robbie watched Kasturi's eyes scan the room. He cleared his throat and said:
Have you come here to talk about the interior of my house?
Kasturi turned to face him, he had a soft smile on his face
Kasturi: Your house is beautiful
Robbie stared at Kasturi and said: yes very beautiful. I mean yes it is, after all I brought in designers from France to decorate my house.
There was an awkward atmosphere between both of them. Kasturi thought; I came here to find out what he feels about me not talk about the dcor of his house.
Robbie noticed Kasturi twitch the ends of her scarf between her fingers, they both were in an uncomfortable situation. Robbie was still coming to terms with the fact that Kasturi was standing in his house.
Robbie: Kasturi take a seat. Robbie said while moving some files away from the sofa.
Kasturi: Amar proposed to me today.
There, Kasturi said it. The tension was building up inside her that she just came out with it point blank. Robbie stood still in his position; it took awhile to register in his head what Kasturi just said. He turned to look at Kasturi. The pain was evident on both their faces. Kasturi tried hard to read Robbie's expressions, it was obvious that he heard something that he never expected. Robbie tried to act normal and said:
So what did you say? His voice was slightly shaky.
Kasturi: I said yes
Kasturi lied; this was the only way to find out how Robbie feels about her. Robbie almost stopped breathing, he heard the sound of his world breaking around him. He clenched his fist trying to control his emotions, he managed to forge a fake smile and said: that's great news. I am happy for both of you.
Kasturi: so are you not going to ask me what I am doing here? Why have I come at this time all the way to your private bungalow just to give you this news?
Robbie stared at Kasturi, he did not want to let Kasturi know that he knows why she is here. Robbie asked in a painful manner: so why have you come to me now?
Kasturi: I have come here Robbie to find out how you feel about me?
Robbie was a bit stunned by the assertiveness in her voice. He had never seen Kasturi so serious. Deep down he knew Kasturi knows about his feelings towards her.
Robbie: Well you're very hard working, well mannered and seem like a nice person.
Kasturi: That's all?
Robbie pretended to look confused
Robbie: yes I guess that is all I know about you
Kasturi knew Robbie would not give into his feelings so soon. She had to ask him out straight.
Kasturi: So what were you doing in my room on the night of the party in Delhi?
Robbie was shocked that Kasturi knows he was there in her room, he still carried on lying: I wasn't in your room Kasturi, you must be mistaken why……
Kasturi cut him off and shouted: stop it Robbie just stop it! How long are you going to keep pretending that you don't know what I am talking about? I know you were in my room that night. I woke up smelling your perfume all over me I could sense you all around the room I even found your dance number ticket on the floor by the bed. And I also remember my confession and our kiss.
Robbie just looked on at Kasturi, she had tears brimming in her eyes as she spoke about that night. Robbie knew there was no point lying or pretending anymore.
Kasturi: From the first day we met there has always been certain awkwardness between us. We are two poles apart yet there is so much attraction connecting us. The more you run away from me the closer I am getting to you. Cant you see how much you are hurting both of us Robbie? Why, why are you doing this?
Robbie turned his back towards Kasturi, he couldn't face her, he was worried she would see right through him, she would read all his feeling that he has for her. His heart ached for her, he wanted to tell her the truth but he held himself back. He gathered his strength and said: Kasturi what ever happened that night, shouldn't have happened. Its best if we forget about it. His comment was so blunt and cold. It left Kasturi slightly shocked, tears ran down her cheeks. How can he forget everything that's happened? She thought.
Kasturi: What about the rest? What about the time you nearly kissed me in the lift? The look on your face when I was dancing with Amar, The poem you said looking at me on the coach and the fact that you cant face and talk to me right now? Kasturi was beginning to feel frustrated now, how much longer is Robbie going to fight this battle with his heart. Robbie was equally as frustrated, frustrated at himself for not being able to accept the truth or even admit to it yet.
Kasturi: Robbie I am asking you, explain to me, and tell me that these things don't make any difference to you, that not once in your heart did you ever feel something towards me. Tell me Robbie.
Tears formed in his eyes as Robbie turned around and said: They do make a difference to me. Every moment I have spent with you I cherish deep inside my heart because………….I love you.
Tonight Robbie has finally let his guard down, the battle he was fighting inside him had to come to an end, there was no holding back, Robbie had to confess and pour his heart out. Robbie walked towards Kasturi and stood in front of her.
Robbie: Kasturi from the first day I saw you there was something about you that made me stop and look at you twice. I have come across and been around so many girls before, all of them wanting my attention, wanting to be with Robbie Sabarwal yet no one caught my attention the way you did. I realised like the rest of them you too would stare and look at me but for some reason I felt happy when I caught you looking. I used to sit in the office and wonder why I used to think about you, there are so many new workers coming and going in the office yet you came along like a breath of fresh air. That night when you told me that you love me, I was taken aback I did not expect you to fall in love with me. I didn't know what to do or how to react, instead I thought about ignoring it pretending that it was the drink talking not you but slowly I realised that I had to face the truth. You're like any other girl yet you're so different, you stick out from the rest of them and you know why? because you love me from the bottom of your heart. Every girl has told me that she loves me, but I know that they only love my name, my fame and my fortune not me. You saw the actual Robbie and loved me for who I am not what I have achieved.
While Robbie was talking Kasturi was just staring into his deep brown eyes, for the first time she saw Robbie talking from the heart, she did not expect Robbie's love to be so in depth for her.
Robbie carried on talking: Kasturi I never realised how much I love you and how much you mean to me, until now. I have always seen people around me love for a reason or not love at all that I had no faith in love, I never believed in love until I met you. If you were like the rest of the girls you would have gone to the press to tell them all about the night in your hotel room, it would have been a golden opportunity for you to make money and fame, but you did not tell anyone. Any other girl would have told the whole office by now that she spent an intimate moment with me inside the lifts, but you kept quiet. Kasturi this is what I have seen happen around me, all people want to do is grab everything for themselves regardless of who gets hurt in the process. But not you, your different from anyone I have met you have the right values and qualities a person should have and that's why I love you so much.
Kasturi: Then why were you so afraid to admit it? If I did not come here tonight or if I did not confront you ever would you have remained silent?
Kasturi could sense there was something eating away inside him, there was more to his feelings. Robbie let out a sigh and said: Kasturi I was afraid of being hurt, being let down and used. I have never seen or felt real or true love around me, like I said I have only seen people love themselves and nothing else. Even at home, there is no such thing as love between anyone. Mum and dad have been fighting and arguing for as long as I can remember, my sisters have gone away and decided to live life on their own terms, they both even got married without once consulting any one in the family. Nikhil and Alaana had a love marriage, from where I am standing there is no love between them; each one is constantly trying to prove who is more superior in the relationship. There is no such thing as family bonding between us we live under one roof for the sake of the world. I have only ever been loved by my mum, she is the only reason for my success and happiness and then you came into my life. It was all unexpected for me, I thought you would be selfish like everyone else, that's why I was afraid of admitting my feelings to you.
Kasturi looked on as Robbie poured out his feelings, she raised her hand and gently wiped his tears. Seeing the strong and bold Robbie she sees in the office break down like this was heart wrenching. He too wiped her tears, he held her softly by her arms and said: I am sorry Kasturi, I caused you a lot of pain knowingly, but today I stand hear proud of myself and say that I love you very much; Robbie held out his arms as Kasturi smiled tearfully and embraced him. They hugged each other tight, they have been longing for this day, longing to be in each others arms. Finally they both had confessed their feelings to each other. Robbie slowly separated Kasturi from him and looked into her eyes, he gently tucked her silky hair behind her ears, Kasturi blushed and lowered her gaze, Robbie held her chin and brought her face up to his, he moved his face closer to hers and kissed her. They conveyed their feelings to each other once more through the kiss, they held on tight promising never to let go.
After a while Robbie let go and held Kasturi's hands in his and said: What are you going to do now? How will you tell Amar?
Kasturi looked up at him and let out a guilty smile: Actually Robbie the thing is …..i lied about saying yes to Amar. She giggled and watched Robbies expressions change from being sad to shocked: you lied to me?
Kasturi: I had to get the truth out of you some how, you were being so stubborn I had no other option
Robbie let out a huge sigh of relief: thank god Kasturi, I was beginning to get worried, I thought that Casanova had won you over me, but Kasturi I will get my own back on you one day for lying to me. He said winking at her.
Kasturi: I should be going now
Robbie: but you have only just come
Kasturi: its getting late and I did not tell anyone where I am going before I left
Robbie: I have heard love makes you do things you have never done before
He said teasing her, Kasturi hit him lightly on his chest, they both laughed as they walked hand in hand to Robbies car.
As a New Years gift to all my readers i have united RoKa in this part.....hope you guys enjoyed reading it 😳
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