Part VII
She'd been mistaken, thinking herself alone.
One perfunctory turn of a silver key, one twist of a knob, revealed differently.
Bani gripped her mother-in-laws' hand tightly as she glanced around the room in disbelief.
Leaning casually against the mantle above the fireplace, Sanjay, Rohan's 17 year old son, greeted her with his all-too familiar smirk. "Bani Aunty!"
Meerab, Rohan's 20 year old daughter, rose from the velvet ottoman, her hands clasped in front of her, her expression more sober, but her eyes just as kind. "I hope you don't mind that we're here."
"It's a little late. But it's still Diwali," Preity, Rohan's wife, appeared at Meerab's side, nursing a steaming mug of cocoa.
"And Diwali is for families," Rohan said, walking in behind Bani and removing his jacket, and placing it on the chair nearby.
Tears again welled in Bani's brown eyes, but this time of the grateful, touched variety. Without thinking, she whirled around and wrapped her arms around Rohan's neck, squeezing hard. With her smooth, damp cheek against his cold cheek, she whispered in his ear, "Thank you."
Rohan's arms came up to link around Bani's waist almost warmly, and he lifted a hand to her back, patting lovingly. He accepted his sister's thanks with blushing cheeks and cleared his throat embarrassedly before holding her at arms' length, his heart hammering inside his ribcage. "Your hot chocolate's probably getting cold."
"Here," Sudha held out the ceramic mug. "Not too hot. Not cold. Perfect."
Taking the mug, Bani lifted it to her lips, taking a sip. Finding her voice again, she murmured, "I can't believe you're all here. What happened to Diwali at the Mansion?"
"That mausoleum?" Sanjay scoffed.
"It wasn't festive enough," Meerab pouted slightly.
"Diwali's never festive enough for you," Sanjay teased. "There weren't any presents," he told Bani, grinning and dodging the annoyed swat Meerab tried to give him.
"No presents," Preity agreed. "But there was an over-abundance of pie. Bani, would you like some?"
"Oh, Bani aunty, it was just divine," Meerab sighed rapturously.
"Geez," Sanjay rolled his eyes good-naturedly at his sister. "We're talking about pie here. Not sex."
"Sanjay!" Meerab cried out indignantly.
The siblings argued, but unlike Bani's altercations with Jai throughout the day, there was no real malice in their words, their actions not borne of hurt or pain. She found herself smiling, watching them, and she accepted the offered pie and their unspoken comfort.
The little room and the warmth within chased away all but the last vestiges of cold.
There was only one person capable of doing that.
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Firelight danced across Anu's features as she contemplated her next move. Finally, releasing her bottom lip from her teeth's stronghold, she gave up, muttering, "I can't believe you're here, playing checkers with me, when you should be out there, searching for Bani mami and telling her that you love her."
"Anu," Jai spoke warningly, nodding at the checkerboard.
"Mamaji," Anu lifted her brows at her mamaji, not scared of him. Only she could get away with that.
"It's your move," Jai reminded her, fixing his eyes on the checkerboard in front of him.
"No," Anu nudged a checker forward. "I believe it's yours," she said, her earlier divided focus now concentrated solely on her mamaji and his seeming nonchalance whenever she mentioned Bani. It was as if their conversation in Atharva's bedroom only an hour before had never happened. "Mamaji, please," Anu clamped a hand around his wrist when it hovered over the checkerboard. "How can you be so stubborn?"
Jai gently removed Anu's hand from his wrist and leaned back, his arms casually wrapped about his middle as he regarded her. "I don't have to search for her because I know exactly where she is. She's at her house."
"And you're still here?!" Anu exclaimed incredulously, covering her face with her hands.
Jais' lips twitched at her muffled 'Hey Baghwan!' She sounded just like Mausi.
"Men," Anu dropped her hands back to her lap. "You're all so dumb. The smart thing to do…"
Jai cut her off before she could finish. "…is stay here. Bani doesn't want to see me tonight, Anu. Not after…not after I…" This time, he couldn't finish, but unlike Anu he just couldn't find the words. No matter his intentions earlier, the result hadn't been anything but painful for all involved.
"You hurt her," Anu conceded. "You've hurt each other," she elaborated. "You can change all that tonight."
"Anu," Jai groused. "It's not that…"
"…easy," Anu jumped in. "I know. It won't happen in a day. It might take the rest of your lives. But it's the rest of your lives, mamaji. Together. Forever. Do you really want to wait to start forever tomorrow?"
Jai shook his head, unfolding his arms and pushing himself to a standing position. "I can't believe this. Now you're starting to sound like Rano."
Anu stood up to match her mamaji's stance and glowered at him, opening her mouth to respond when another voice, lilting and familiar, beat her to it.
"Is that really so bad?"
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In the living room, Sanjay and Meerab were still competing in the verbal Olympics, with Preity acting as their exasperated referee and Rohan looking on with an expression of mild amusement.
Bani curled her arms about her middle protectively and moved from the warm glow of the window, her slippers clomping as she traveled down the porch steps and into the wet wonderland beyond. She lifted her eyes to the sky, blinking as she felt tiny raindrops falling against her lashes on contact. She tensed when she heard movement behind her, only relaxing when a familiar voice reached her ears.
"Bani Dixit," Sudha gently chastised. "You'll catch your death of cold."
Bani accepted the heavy quilt Sudha draped over her shoulders with an indulgent smile. Holding one end of the quilt up, she invited Sudha to join her in its cocoon of warmth.
Slipping an arm behind Bani's waist, Sudha pressed her lips to Bani's temple then followed her suit, lifting her own eyes to the heavens with a smile on her face. "It is beautiful, isn't it?"
Silence reigned on the pair, comfortable silence. Rain poured down from the midnight sky like sparkling jewels, and their warm breath formed faint clouds in the chilly air in front of them. The rest of the world seemed to drift away, leaving them in such utter stillness and solitude, neither desired to create a disturbance, not for several long minutes, minutes of holding each other.
Bani's words, when they finally came, brought an end to the illusion. Her pain was thick and hovered, ghostly, over her shoulders. "I can't stay, ma."
Choosing to be obtuse, Sudha tightened her arm around her waist. "Pune's not that far."
"Pune's not far enough," Bani murmured.
"Bani," Sudha could not keep the panic from her voice as she turned Bani in her arms, holding her captive. Bani's brown eyes when they finally met hers glittered like sapphires. "Oh, Bani, no. What happened tonight? Did Jai say something, do something?"
"Jai isn't the problem," Bani shook her head. "I'm the problem. I've caused him and his family nothing but pain and misery from the moment we met."
"Bani, that's not true," Sudha objected. "His sister and Pia's given them nothing but pain and misery. Not you. You've given them life and love and Atharva. That little boy is the greatest gift…Listen to me," she implored her daughter. "The one thing Jai and I agree upon besides our love for you is that that child is precious and worth all the tears and anger and heartache."
Bani's lips trembled and her eyes closed as she thought again of her sweet little boy's tears at their parting, and she felt her heart clench painfully at the choices that had led them to this point, her choices. She chose to 'move on' with Tarun when the pain of Jais' betrayal was too much to bear. She chose to play wife to another man, when it seemed she'd never again hold Jai close to her heart. She chose to accept Tarun's proposal when she didn't want to wear any man's mangalsutr but Jais'. She chose…. "Atharva deserves more than me disrupting his life on holidays and birthdays. I'm not fit to be his mother. I'm not fit to be a mother at all."
Sudha grasped Bani's hands tightly in her own. "It wasn't your fault."
"It's all my fault," Bani shrank from Sudha's touch, seeking the bitter cold again, the quilt falling to the rain below. "Everything."
"It wasn't your fault," Sudha insisted. "Sometimes things just happen without reason or blame."
"No," Bani wouldn't be persuaded. "No, ma, you're wrong."
"Bani, don't. Don't say it," Sudha cried, clutching her daughter's shoulders, desperately wanting to shake some sense into her. She dropped her hands in dismay when her efforts proved fruitless.
"The blame rests on me. I abandoned my family. I abandoned my baby. I abandoned the man who taught me how to love. The man who taught me to live for myself. The man who gave me love that no one else had never given me. I'm the one to be blamed for everything!"
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"Rano?" Jai blinked in disbelief.
"I know it's late," Rano spoke apologetically, looking uncertain. "But technically, it IS still Diwali."
The uncharacteristic tentativeness did him in, finally spurring him into action as he moved to take her into his arms. "Mausi will be so happy you're here."
Jais' hug was tight and fierce, making Rano squeak as she asked, "Mausi? What about my big brother?"
Jai held her at arms' length, meeting her eyes as he solemnly told her, "You know I'm always happy to see you." He pulled her back into his arms for another quick hug, kissing the top of her glossy dark head. "You're my little sister."
Rano giggled girlishly. "That wasn't always the case. Right, Anu?"
"Yes," Anu smiled back. "Always, mamaji?" she teased, walking into her sister-in-law's open arms. "I can't believe you're here. Don't tell me. Your Prince Charming finally got some sense into him and decided to drag you here."
"Not quite," Rano's dark eyes danced as she watched Jai roll his eyes. "Not unless Varun Bali fits your description."
"Varun?" Jai remarked with interest. "I have to hear this."
"There's nothing to hear really," Rano shrugged, her eyes still sparkling. "Except that Varun threw tantrums all day asking why he wasn't allowed to spend Diwali with his Jai mausa and Atharva."
Jais' brows climbed to his hairline and lips forming a smile.
"Don't worry jiju. I didn't shout at him this time," Rano smiled. "Finally, Ranveer couldn't take his son's grumpiness and decided whether I like it or not, he was going to bring him to see the family. I was hoping Di would've left by now so I didn't have to look at her and you and feel guilty once again. I wasn't going to stay alone at home, so I decided it was the perfect time to pay my family a visit. Sorry we're so late."
"Wait a minute," Anu dark eyes peered over Rano's shoulder. "Varun and Bhaiya are with you?"
"Outside in the car," Rano nodded. "Varun fell asleep on the way over here, and I told Ranveer to wait a few minutes. Just in case."
"Just in case?" Jai questioned her when Anu had gone, not even bothering to throw a sweater on over her pajamas. "Rano, you're always welcome here, you know that. We love you."
Rano squeezed the hand that Jai offered her, tears brimming in her eyes. "I know. I do. It's just…I know how you feel about Di and Pia, and I know you think I shouldn't blame myself for what Pia did to you, but I can't do it, jiju. I can't help but wonder what Di and I'd done wrong that she punished us in such a way? I've seen you and Di suffer and can't help but feel guilty. I should've done something to stop Di and tell her the truth but I didn't." she cried, tears slipping down her cheek as Jai gave her hand a gentle tug, wrapping his arms protectively around her again.
"Shh," Jai soothed, stroking her hair, the gesture comforting. "It's okay. We'll be ok. Stop blaming yourself. I love you; you're the sister I wish I always had. Everything will be ok" he promised, kissing her forehead as he gently brushed away the evidence of her tears. "You'll all be home," he pledged, smiling as Ranveer burst through the front door, Anu trailing behind him holding a sleepy, Varun, at the same moment everyone else emerged from deep within the house.
Home where they belonged.
To be continued…
Edited by salmansgirl - 17 years ago
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