Once again thank you for the delightful comments, thoughts and view points left by the each and everyone.
For those of you interested in what life is like for someone living on the street follow link below.
Living on the streets Badasurata Part 4 THE TIME IS NOW
If you are ever going to love
Love me now while I can know
The sweet and tender feelings
Which from true affection flow
Love me now while I am living
Do not wait until I am gone
And then have it chiseled in marble
Sweet words on ice cold stone
If you have tender thoughts of me
Please let me know now
If you wait until I am sleeping
Never will be death between us
And I won't hear you then
So if you love me, even a little bit
Let me know while I am living
So that I can treasure it(Anonymous)
Kiran's face turned red and she shouted at Jai, "I told you I don't know anything. You have read the letter. No one forced her to go. Apni marji se gayi hai woh."
Pia came running down the stairs, "Maa kyun chilayaan aap. Papa ki tabiyaat theek nahi hai."
With a surprised look, Pia turned to Jai and said quietly, "Mr Walia I am sorry I have to ask you to leave. My father isn't well and this is not a good time for a social call."
Jai turned and gave her a cold stare, "Ms Pia Dixit this is not a social call. I believe Bani is missing. Your mother may be behind it. I am just trying to find out where she is."
Pia livid at his accusation, "How dare you walk in to our house and accuse my mother of something so despicable?"
In contrast Jai remained cold, "Ms Pia don't raise your voice against me. And don't defend your mother, otherwise you are an accessory to crime, if as such your mother is found to have committed."
Rano worried about the situation getting out of hand, tugged as Jai's arm, "Let's go and talk to Baba. I want to make sure he is ok."
Jai, Adi and Rano walked upstairs. The mother and daughter eyed them going up bristling with anger.
In the room Nishikant was lying still, but wide awake on the bed. His eyes looked lost and he barely acknowledged Rano when she called him.
Kneeling beside the bed, Rano, "Baba dekho kaun ayaa hai."
Nishikant looked at Jai and tried to get up but Rano prevented him. Nishikant folded his hands and implored Jai, "Mr Walia meri Bani pata nahi kahaan chali gayi, isse dhoondhe lao."
Jai's heart melted at he looked at the frail Nishikant, obviously whatever had occurred he did not know about it and he felt sick to the stomach but he had to ask, "Nishikantji Bani kahan hai. Mei nahin manta ke woh apni marjee se yeh ghar chod kar chali gayi. Kaun ladki jis ki halat Bani jaisi hoh woh subh kuch chod kar chali jaye."
Nishikant with tears rolling down, "Nahi Mr Walia, mera bhi maan nahi manta woh aisa kare lekin..." Unable to continue Nishikant covered his eyes with his arms crying.
"Nishikantji, mei police ko report karna chata hu, lekin apki marji ho toh."
Again Nishikant folded his hands and pleaded, "Nahi aisa nahi karna, mei logo samne yeh badnami nahi seh paunga."
Rano hugged her father, "Baba aap maa se baat karo, jaroor maa ne kuch kiya hai. Didi kabhi ghar se bhaag nahi jaa sakti."
Nishikant stared at Rano, "Woh kuch nahi bolegi...pata nahi Bani ke saath kyun aisa kiya isne."
Jai spoke, "Kyun ke meh Bani se shaadi karne chahta hoon."
Hope transformed Nishikant's face for a split second, "Mera marne se pehla aisa hota toh mei khushi se yeh pran chod dunga."
Rano hugged him again, "Baba aisa nahi bolna. Dekhana hum didi ko jaroor dhoondh layegi aur phir yeh shaadi bhi hogi."
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Waqt ne kiya kya haseen sitam
Tum rahe na tum ham rahe na ham
Waqt ne kiya kya haseen sitam
Beqaraar dil is tarha mile
jis tarha kabhi ham juda na the
Tum bhi kho gaye, ham bhi kho gaye
Ek raah par chalke do qadam
Waqt ne kiya kya haseen sitam
Jaayenge kaha sujhta nahi
chal pade magar raasta nahi
Kya talaash hai kuchh pata nahi
Bun rahe hain dil khaab dam-ba-dam
Waqt ne kiya kya haseen sitam ( lyrics Kaifi Azmi)
Translation-
Ah, the beautiful cruelties time has shown,
You did not remain you, I did not remain me.
Ah, the beautiful cruelties time has shown.
Anxious hearts met this way,
as if we were never seperated.
You got lost, I got lost,
On the same path, two fooprints.
Ah, the beautiful cruelties time has shown.
Where do we go, we don't know,
we started walking, but there is no trail.
What we seek, we don't know,
our hearts are knitting new dreams everytime.
Ah, the beautiful cruelties time has shown.
Kiran was smirking and Pia looked bored as they left the house. Jai found he had to fight with himself not to raise his hand and slap Kiran's face and wipe the smile off her face for ever.
In the car, Rano turned to Jai, her eyes moist with tears, "What shall we do now?"
It was Adi who suggested, "Why don't we get list of agencies and shelters in Mumbai and start our search there."
Jai drove the car towards Walia mansion at breakneck speed and Adi had to admonish him of endangering other lives when they stopped. Inside Ranveer was still at home. Jai asked him if he could help with the search and so began the task of making list of shelters and possible places of refuge, splitting the list four ways so it would be faster. Masi reprimanded Jai when he refused to eat anything. She forced him to sit down and eat before leaving, saying she had no idea when he would get back home again. He may be out all day.
Traipsing the streets of Mumbai, visiting shelters and places that could possibly offer refuge yielded not results. Rano was the first to return home, followed by Adi and Ranveer. Jai came in very late, looking depressed. His eyes reflected the lack of sleep, the incessant pain in his heart marred his once attractive face.
Masi and Jigyasa showed concern at him and Ranveer told him he was going to administer a sleeping pill as without proper rest he would be useless to continue search.
It was solemn dinner that they all sat down to. Nobody had much appetite and with masi's coaxing they all ate some food.
Next few days Jai, Rano and Adi to some extent followed the same routine of dredging the streets with hope of seeing Bani in some corner. Some of the sights they saw on the streets life of people far removed from theirs. The street dweller, the sub-standard tenements and the slum dwellers. All living, working trying to eke out meagre earning so at least they will not go to bed hungry.
For Jai who had his offices in the heart of Mumbai and lived in one of the most desirable areas of Mumbai, coming so close to the proverty, malnutrition and dehumanizing of lives, especially the women and children was even more traumatic on top of the agony that he was going through.
Surely in this city where business happens in not in thousands of rupees but in hundred of millions, should even one person be living on the streets. Where do those millions in profit go.
By the end of the week, Rano even though outwardly appeared brave, was literally broken inside. Jai on the other hand still had not given up hope. It was Ranveer who one night mentioned about widening the search to places like Mathura, Banares and other pilgrim places. He said one of his colleague said that a lot of women still went to this places to seek refuge.
Masi supported Ranveer, "Hain Jai, purane zamane mei vidhavayei wahaan ashraam mei ashra leti. Kahin Bani ne aisa kiya hoga."
Rano wasn't sure, "Masi, you need money to get there. I don't think Di had ten rupees on her."
Masi still adamant about looking there said, "Well Jigyasa and I can go. Usually this places will only allow another woman to enter any way."
Jigyasa, "Yes Jai bhaiya, let us go while you look around here. The longer we delay who knows what..." she couldn't finish rest of the sentence as Adi gave her a warning look.
Masi, getting up,"Everyone go to sleep and we can decide in the morning what to do. It's easier to think with rested mind.
That night Jai hardly slept as his sleep was disturbed by images he had seen in his search of Bani. The neglected woman and children living in filth, barely anything to cover them or to eat. Was Bani sleeping in some street corner on the bare floor, did she get any food to eat...did someone tried to take advantage her. The thoughts revolved around like a kaleidoscope, blurring into one another.
The morning brought a flurry of activity, masi getting up early to do pooja, since Bani went missing she started doing some jaaps(when they pray with the beads) for her safety. Adi, Jigyasa, Jai, Rano and Ranveer to came down one by one.
At breakfast Jai announced that he, masi and Rano would go to Vrindavan and search the ashrams there and if no luck there than they would go to other places. Jigyasa protested about not included but Jai pointed out that Adi and Ranveer needed her at home. Jai arranged flight for them and they quickly packed and left for the airport. Lucky flights to Delhi were plentyful and so it had been easy to get seats quickly. During the short flight Jai finally closed his eyes and slept fitfully. Masi looked at his sleeping face, looking so haggard even in his sleep and prayed that they quickly find Bani.
A jeep was waiting to drive them to vrindavan once they exited the terminal at Delhi. The long hot dusty drive tired them out when they reached their hotel. Asking the driver to wait for him, Jai told masi that since it was almost evening she and Rano should settle in and then start their search next day. He would just take the ride around with driver and have a quick tour.
Jai toured the ghats, the mandir and the ashram just to get a little familiar with the place. The ghats on the bank of the river and the mandirs were thronging with human bodies, all were trying to reach their destination to do the ritual pujas and artis. The faint billowing of smoke and lighted diyas and flowers floating on the wateradded to the mystic feel of the place.
Baath Nihare Ghanshyam,
Naina Ni Re Hare,
Aas Kare Din Raiyn,
Naina Ni Re Hare,
Jog Dhayaan Mein Chit Nahi Lage,
Man Ki Peer Pal Pal Jage,
Rain Jage Aviram,
Bake Bihari Krishan Kanahi,
Kahe Sakhe Sud Bud Bisrai,
Kab Aaoge Mere Dham,
Patit Pawan Sharan Mein Lijyo,
Naath Sakha Hari Darshan Dijyo,
Lagan Lagi Tere Naam
( Jagjit Singh) He had deliberately chosen this small secluded hotel at a recommendation of a friend who had said he would enjoy the privacy and personal service it offered. Late at night Jai stood looking out over the river Yamuna, the tranquil flow of the river, the forests that lined the banks and silence that had fallen was amazingly peaceful. Somewhere in this city of temples, ont his land still considered scared and where devotees come seeking to catch the glimpse of the Lord playing his bansuri there must be a sanctuary for the outcasts of society can also find this peace that he had felt.
When he fell asleep Jai did not know but he woke up at dawn at the sounds faints chants and the bells chiming in distant. He felt rested and quickly got up and got ready. He was downstairs by seven and decided to take a walk before joining Masi and Rano for breakfast. The walk along the river bank, lined with lily pads and flowers breaking open as the rays of sun touched them. The sparse kadambari trees, flowering and filling the air with its
exotic smell. Jai saw a group of women bathing at the ghats and carried on walking, leaving them to perform their age old rituals.
He stopped at a small mandir where the devotees where performing arti and joined in. The mandir wasn't as elaborate as some of the famed mandir at Vrindavan but nonetheless the spirituality seemed to emanate from the mandir.
After taking the offered arti, Jai returned back to the hotel and found masi and Rano already downstairs waiting for him. They had breakfast and waited for the driver to arrive with the car to take them around. The receptionist was very helpful and gave Jai some maps and directions of the ashrams they should visit. With hope alight in his heart Jai, masi and Rano set off on their search.
Masi and Rano found it difficult to walk inside the ashrams, the places were full of women of all ages, clad in threadbare white cloth, singing devotional songs. The dilapidated places some run by petty local administrators who were more interested in getting money out of them then helping. They refused to let them look into the rooms saying they would need to get a special permits to look inside. After an exhausting day the trio returned depressed at not finding Bani and at the sights witnessed in the city. Masi had cried several times as she saw several women begging for food outside mandirs.The wizened body etched by the bones told the tale of their misery. Jai had asked her to return back to hotel a few times but masi had refused saying she was not leaving till she found Bani.
Over the next two days Jai followed the same ritual of getting up in the morning goint to walking by women bathin in the ghats, doing arti at the small mandir and then taking masi and Rano out. For some reason he did not feel as lost as he had when he first came here and had no answer as to why he did not feel so restless. The pandit would recognize him and ask him to do the arti first and at the end always gave him flowers from the feet of the small idol of Krishna in its traditional pose of playing the flute.
On the fourth day masi said they should drive over to Mathura and search there as well as pray at the Dwarkadhish temple for the safety of Bani. Mathura too was teeming with pilgrims all in a rush to get the glimpse of the birthplace of Lord Krishna. The Krishna Janambhoomi temple is said to house the stone slab at the exact birth site. They traipsed along with the people, searching seeking to see a familiar face. At the Dwarkadhish Temple masi did small pooja along with Jai and Rano and told the pandit of their quest. The pandit told them to keep faith that in this Brajbhoomi many miracles have occurred and Lord Krishna is always said to look after his devotees.
They returned once again back to the hotel in the falling dusk of the evening. Refreshed after taking some rest, hot shower and change of clothes, Jai went to masi's room. Masi was sitting up on the bed with her feet stretched out. She gave Jai a reassuring hug and asked him to sit down. Rano was still getting ready in the bathroom.
"Masi how long do you want to stay here?" Jai asked.
Masi holding his hand, squeezed it, "Until we find Bani."
Jai trying not to sound depressed, "She could be anywhere. We have no idea what Kiran did or if Bani did really run away."
Disappointed with his word, masi asked, "What does your heart say Jai, could Bani have run away from you?"
Jai shook his head, tears threatening to fall, "No I don't she would run away. I think she would have stayed and waited to give me her answer...she would not run away."
"Then we should stay an look for a few more days."
A quiet dinner followed in masi's room and then Jai left saying he wanted to walk. Rano said she would join him. As they strolled silently under the night sky, listening to water lapping on the banks and the hushed voices as people walked by. Jai stopped near the mandir and noticed it was still open, the diya still flickering in the dark and the burning incense haze swirling around. Jai turned to Rano and told her about the attending the early morning arti at the mandir. As they continued a voice was heard softly shouting, "Bani betiya jaldi kar." Both of them came to a standstill, Jai turned but could not see anyone. Rano walked back towards the mandir, she saw the pandit covered in shawl looking for someone. She heard soft splash of water coming from the ghat and then saw a figure walking slowly up. With a thud in her heart she stopped as the woman walked up quickly across the road and came towards the mandir. It was hard to tell with covered face, but as the woman came closer Rano hesistantly called out, "Di!"
The woman stopped and looked up, two eyes stared in surprise back at her. The pandit watching all this came out and asked, "Kyun ruk gayi Bani. Dere hoh chuki hai." Jai coming out of reverie strode and came to the priest and told him pointing to Rano, "Hum iski behen ko dhoondhne yahaan aaye hai. Uska naam bhi Bani hai. Yeh tuhmare betiyaan hai?"
The priest shook his head and said,"Naa yeh ek subah meri mandir ke paas bethi thi, roh rahi thi. Iska haal dekh kaar samajh gaya kya pareshani thi. Abh yeh prabhu ka ghar hai, yahaan aasra nahi milega toh fir kahaan." Then looking at Bani sadly he said, "Baas woh din se yeh yahaan mandir ka paas mera behen ka ghar hai wahan rehti hai.
Rano rushed up to the woman and shifted her pallu down to stare at Bani's face. There was happiness and sadness reflected in her eyes. Taking Bani's hand Rano walked up to the pandit and bowed down to him, crying. The pandit looked slightly bewildered until Jai explained why they were looking for her. Bani looked apprehensively at both of them, "Why did you come looking. I am alright. You should go back Rano and let me stay here. I have found a little corner for myself. I am happy here."
Rano shaking her, "you can't mean that Di. Do you have any idea how many days we and others have been looking for you? Baba is sick with worry too. And Jai, I don't have to tell you how much he has been hurt by this. You are coming back with me. I am not leaving without you."
Jai watched Rano pleading with Bani, he turned to the pandit and said, "kya hum isse lei jaa sakta hain. Mujhe soch mei nahi araha mei apko kaise shukriya kahun." Pandit just smiled and pointing at the mandir said, "Shukriya toh isko milne chahiya."
Offering a small prayere, Jai strode up to where Rano and Bani stood. He wiped the rolling down Bani's face and his eyes emoting his immense relief said quietly, "I promised Baba I would bring you back. Come home Bani."
Overwhelmed with feelings Bani without any care flung herself onto him and cried her heart out. The pandit came over and caresed her head and said, "Beti tera yahaan rehna samapta ho chuka, ghar jaa. itne sare log hai tujhe pyaar dene wali, laut jaa betiyaan."
The pandit watched as Bani left with Jai and Rano. He turned back towards his mandir to offer an arti to his Lord.
Masi was delighted when woken up and presented with Bani. She quickly started fussing around her and Jai left them alone for a while. He went to his room and made quick call to Jigyasa and Ranveer and then went and sat near the open window with his thoughts.
An hour later a knock on the door sounded and Jai got up and opened the door. Rano stood their with Bani. "I thought you and Di might want to talk."
Jai just nodded and let Bani come in and closed the door. They stared at each other for a few moments. Jai noting that she had lost some weight as Rano's salwar kameez hung losely on her frame. The hair still short now curled at the ends suited delicate face.
Finally Bani spoke softly, "I just wanted to thank you, especially what you have done for my Baba."
In one stride Jai was next to her, "Don't say anything more Bani. YOu don't know how selfish I am. Whatever I have done was for me. I wanted to find you for myself...only formyself." Bani stared at him speechlessly, how can someone be so enamoured by her. Taking one of her hand he said, "When we get back home, you are coming home with me. I will never let you go back to your baba's home, not while Kiran is still there. I know you want say anything and I am not going to force you, but I know whatever happened, Kiran was behind it."
"You can't keep me away from my father Jai. He is still my father. He has always cared for me, never once did he raise his hand or his voice against me. Maa is the way she is, she has never made an effort to change."
Jai pulling her close to him said vehemently, "You will never go back to that house again. Baba can come and stay with you anytime. Tomorrow we will go back and then I will ask masi to arrange for us to get married as soon as possible."
Jai gazed down softly at her, "You will marry me, won't you?"
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.(Melodie Beattie) Tears glimmered on her lashes as Bani whispered,
"yeh raati katena kate
yeh din beete na beete
bin tere yeh dil ka dard na mite
yeh tanhayee yeh judaii
yeh gahara darda tune diya
yeh dil me abhi ek hi khuwaahish hai
yeh ek dil ki tamanna hai
yehi ke tu ajaa mere dil ke qarib " They stood in silence listening to their heartbeats speak...May be destiny had written for them to be together...may be they had to walk through the forest of thorns first to discover the true meaning of love.
