Hey guys?
I had always wanted to write a satire. I love the sarcastic underplays in dialogues? I wanted to write Emma, but I have not read it so I couldn't attempt it. But I remember reading Oscar Wilde's play in 12th standard "The Importance of being Earnest". It's a hilarious play and very very interesting. I hope I will manage to adapt it accordingly with an Indian flavor? ? And Jai Walia will be a fascinating character, I promise, he will be arrogant, pompous in a very cute loving way? Masi as we all love her is this sweet caring old lady but I will add spice to her.
There are some really good dialogues spoken by Algernon (Jai Walia), I will incorporate them, they are truly satirical and a literature lover would fall in love with the writes witty intelligence.
ENJOY!!!!
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The Darts of Cupid... ...
PART-1
In the secluded interiors of South Delhi the Walia Mansion stood tall and erect peninsular, surrounded by gardens on three sides with a shimmering pond in the front? the perfectly kept gardens glowed in the dull sunlight of the fading noon?the mature trees swayed to the gentle blowing wind? inside the never-ending mansion the sound of a piano is heard fleetingly?the room is luxuriously and artistically furnished?
Tony the butler and man Friday of the elite businessman Jai Walia was busy arranging tea on the table?a few seconds later the melody of the piano ceased?
Jai Walia descended down the stairs in a slow panther like scrawl, clad in an Armani suit, his thick hair gelled back primly, his polished shoes sparkling, his steely gaze scrutinizing his most faithful servant's activities?
"Did you hear what I was playing Tony??" he asked, his silky baritone skimming through the crisp air? tony stilled, turning towards his noble master he stood?
"I didn't think it polite to listen, sir?" thinking that he wasn't deaf; of course he had listened all the while and also noted that his noble master had played C -major instead of C-minor?
"I'm sorry for that. I didn't play accurately-though anyone can play accurately-but I play with wonderful expression. As far as the piano is concerned, sentiment is my forte?" jai said finally coming down inspecting his servant's as always perfect work?
"Yes, Sir?" tony said diligently? again mentally mocking that a person for whom sentiments are nothing more than a non-living thing, he is mastered in expressions? Holy Shit?he cursed?
"Have you got the chicken sandwiches ready?for masi??"
"Yes, sir?" tony handed them on a silver salver?peeps over them taking one he sits down on the sofa, relishing the taste?
"Perfect?"
"I can't understand what is it with matrimony, every time masi arrives she is with the proposal for me?I am just sick of it Tony?" he muttered finishing off another two sandwiches?
"I have had very little experience of it myself up to the present. I have only been married once. That was in consequence of a misunderstanding between myself and a young person and soon she eloped with my neighbor?"
"Women I say?My sympathies are with you Tony?but I am not much interested in your family life?" jai said languidly?
"No, sir; it is not a very interesting subject. I never think of it myself?" Tony said earnestly?
"Very natural, I am sure. That will do, Tony, thank you?" jai dismisses him thinking of his views on marriage to be somewhat lax. Really, if the lower orders don't set us a good example, what on earth is the use of them? They seem, as a class, to have absolutely no sense of moral responsibility.
"Thank you, sir?" Tony leaves, his marriage was a sore topic and every time he remembered Nona, his wife, no ex-wife, he couldn't help but reminisce the redness of her cheeks whenever she smiled, he used to call her cherry with love and adulation and she betrayer, ran with her good for nothing neighbor just because he was a chief in some god forsaken hotel and was more handsome than him?Tony pursed his lips, looking at his reflection in the silver plate he was cleaning, Oh he looked like a king even when he was touching his forties?it was Nona who didn't deserve him? ?
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"I am afraid Masi is early?"jai saidthinking of the torturousconversations to follow suit? as the door bell rang, tony hurried to open it?
"Ah!! Mr. Sablok?" Tony exclaimed the charming lawyer and Jai Walia's friend?
"Hello Tony?" he greeted him?
"Adway Sablok?how are you come in?" jai said boisterously?
"I am fine?" Adway came inside seating himself on the adjoining sofa?
"So what brings you here?"
"Well, work and something else too?" adway confessed a blushing a bit?
"When you have work here then why are you still cooped up in that town near Noida?it's almost like an exaggerated village" jai said exasperated even trying to imagine the scene?
"I have people to look after?"
"People who??"
"I mean the relatives and the neighbors? its boring?"
"Got neighbors in your part?"
"Perfectly horrid! Never speak to one of them?"
"Then how come? you look after them?" jai said reaching over to take another sandwich?
"Well, just out of obligation?why all these cups and sandwiches, such extravagance on me?I am delighted?" adway squealed?
"Oh, Masi and lakshmi are coming?" jai said lamely?
"That's wonderful?" adway said, his eyes gleaming?
"But I think masi won't like your presence here?"
"Why so??"
"She is certainly not blind to miss your flirting with lakshmi had worse lakshmi flirting back?" adway looked away embarrassed?
"To be honest with you?I am in love with lakshmi?and I want to propose to her? "
"Propose?that's silly?" jai let out a throaty laughter?
"How utterly unromantic you are!"
"Ireally don't see anything romantic in proposing. It might be very romantic to be in love. But there is nothing romantic about a definite proposal. Why, one may be accepted. One usually is, I believe. Then the excitement is all over. The very essence of romance is uncertainty. If ever I get married whose chances are really slim, I'll certainly try to forget the fact?"
"Really, you are such a pervert?and all those women you roam around with?" adway almost accused him?jai raise an eyebrow?
"Oh, they amuse themselves and I do the same?" jai said sheepishly?
"Marriage is a sacred institution?"
"Yes, of course?too sacred for sinners like us?" jai chuckled?
"I have no doubt about that my friend. The Divorce Court was specially invented for people whose memories are so curiously constituted?"
"Oh! There is no use speculating on that subject. Divorces are made in Heaven?" adway puts his hand to pick up one sandwich when jai interferes and admonishes him?
"Please don't touch the chicken sandwiches. They are made especially for Masi?"
"Well, you have been eating them all the time?"
"That is quite a different matter. She is my aunt. Have some bread and calorie less butter. The bread and butter is for Lakshmi. She is devoted to bread and butter; you know diet and all?" jai said handing him a plate?
"Thanks?I love it?"
"You are not married to her already, and I don't think you ever will be?" jai said curtly?
"Why so??" adway said feeling dejected?
"Well, in the first place girls never marry the men they flirt with. Girls don't think it right?"
"Oh, that is nonsense!"
"It isn't. It is a great truth. It accounts for the extraordinary number of bachelors that one sees all over the place. In the second place, I don't give my consent?"
"Your consent!"
"My dear fellow, Lakshmi is my first cousin. And before I allow you to marry her, you will have to clear up the whole question of Bani?" jai said seriously?ringing the bell calling tony who appeared promptly?
"Bani! What on earth do you mean? What do you mean, jai, by Bani! I don't know any one of the name of bani?" adway hurried though his words?
"Bring that cigarette case Mr. Sablok left in the smoking-room the last time he dined here?" jai ordered?nodding his head tony left to do what had been told?
"Do you mean to say you have had my cigarette case all this time? And I have been searching bringing my house upside down?" adway said shocked?
"Yes I do?"
"And you shamelessly read it?"
"Oh! it is absurd to have a hard and fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn't. More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read..." jai said pompously?flipping the case?
"I don't propose to discuss modern culture, I want my case back?" adway demanded?
"Yes; but this isn't your cigarette case. This cigarette case is a present from some one of the name of bani, and you said you didn't know any one of that name?"
"Well, if you want to know, Bani happens to be my aunt?"
"Your aunt?"
"But why does she call herself little Bani if she is your aunt 'From little bani with her fondest love?' "
"So what some aunts are tall, some are small, you can't expect everyone to be like your masi? That is absurd! For Heaven's sake give me back my cigarette case."
"Yes. But why does your aunt call you her brother? 'From little Bani, with her fondest love to her dear Brother Tarun?' "
"Err?"
"And besides?your name is not tarun?"
"It isn't Adway, its Tarun...I am Tarun Dixit?"
"You have always told me it was Adway. I have introduced you to everyone as Adway. You answer to the name of Adway. You look as if your name was Adway. It is perfectly absurd your saying that your name isn't Adway. It's on your cards. Here is one of them. [I'll keep this as a proof that your name is Adway if ever you attempt to deny it to me, or to lakshmi, or to anyone else?" jai said angrily?
"Well, my name is Adway in Delhi and Tarun in the town, and the cigarette case was given to me in the town?"
"Yes, but that does not account for the fact that your small Aunt Bani, calls you her dear brother. Come, old boy, you had much better have the thing out at once?"
"There is nothing improbable about my explanation at all. In fact it's perfectly ordinary. Old Mr. Nishikant Dixit, who adopted me when I was a little boy, made me in his will guardian to his grand-daughter, Miss Bani Dixit. Bani, who addresses me as her brother from motives of respect that you could not possibly appreciate, lives at my place under the charge of her admirable governess, Miss Meera Khandelwal?"
"Now, go on. Why are you Adway Sablok in Delhi and Tarun Dixit in town?"
"I don't know whether you will be able to understand my real motives. You are hardly serious enough. When one is placed in the position of guardian, one has to adopt a very high moral tone on all subjects. It's one's duty to do so. In order to get up to Delhi and have a bit of pleasure I have always pretended to have a best friend of the name of Adway, who lives in South Delhi. That is the whole truth pure and simple?"
"The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Modern life would be very tedious if it were either, and modern literature a complete impossibility! And what does this best friend of yours exactly do?" jai asked suspicion rising inside him?
"Well?only you came to my mind so I described to bani that my best friend is a shrewd businessman, wild, womanizer and always on a move and hardly takes things seriously?and I am trying to mend his ways?" he ended with regret?
"Thanks for all the adjectives dear best friend?you seem to have surpassed my imagination, beating my Lingappa?" jai said amused?
"What do you mean??"
"Well, I have invented an invaluable permanent invalid called Mr. Lingappa, my ailing math teacher in school in order that I may be able to go out of Delhi whenever I choose. He is perfectly invaluable. If it wasn't for his extraordinary bad health, for instance, I wouldn't be able to dine with masi?"
"So that means you will go?"
"I might if she again henpecks me with proposals?"
"But I am going to kill my best friend once lakshmi accepts me?And bani is a bit too much interested in him? It is rather a bore. So I am going to get rid of Adway. And I strongly advise you to do the same with Mr? with your invalid friend who has the absurd name?"
"Nothing will induce me to part with Mr. Lingappa, and if you ever get married, which seems to me extremely problematic, you will be very glad to know him?"
"That is nonsense. If I marry a charming girl like lakshmi, and she is the only girl I ever saw in my life that I would marry, I certainly won't want to know you whatever?"
"Then your wife will. You don't seem to realize, that in married life three is company and two is none?"
"That's bullshit?"
"Well, exactly my point?marriages are the same?"
"For heaven's sake, don't try to be cynical. It's perfectly easy to be cynical?"
"My dear fellow, it isn't easy to be anything nowadays. There's such a lot of beastly competition around?" jai said, interrupted by the bell?
"Ah!! Must be Masi?" he got up?
"Well, since you have made me your colorful best friend I might just help you by taking away masi for sometime while you manage to propose lakshmi?"
"That's so nice of you?"
"It's not me?its Adway, your best friend?" jai winked at him, opening the door himself?
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God bless
Dhani
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
CID
