MANAN SS - AUTUMN - PROLOGUE ON PG 1

Archana_Vinod thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#1






Manik Malhotra, a retired senior in his 80's, sets out on a journey to complete the last few items on Nandini's bucket list.

Edited by Archana_Vinod - 9 years ago

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riyaparo thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#2
continue soon
thanks for pm
soothu thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#3
waiting for prologue ... thanks for pm
rockstarlover thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#4
interesting & different concept
cont soon
Archana_Vinod thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#5

PROLOGUE

A PUBLIC PARK IN TORONTO, CANADA - EVENING

An old couple in their 80's shuffle along a paved, narrow path strew with beautiful golden foliage from giant trees. The entire landscape is carpeted with a surreal saffron hue, making the view an absolutely breath taking one.

From their stiff but determined gait, it is clear that the aftermath of old age has set in ripe.

The woman, Nandini Murthy, early 80's, settles down on a bench in the park and takes deep breaths. She is dressed in a warm frock and blouse with a shawl to go.

Her husband, Manik Malhotra, mid 80's, stands on and watches her with a smirk. He is tall like always but comparatively shrivelled and greying with age. He takes off his hat, straightens out the little tufts of white hair spread over his balding head and sits beside her, adjusting his thick, dark blazer as he does.

MANIK: Tired?

Nandini is still breathless. She closes her eyes, takes in a deep breath, holds it and lets go. When she finally opens her eyes, she is much more relaxed.

NANDINI: Better now.

They watch the sun sink into the horizon, its beautiful orange rays scattering all over the park.

Manik wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls her close. She cosies up to him and smiles, pleased with the heavenly sight before her eyes.

MANIK: No matter how many times you see it, you just can't get enough, right?

NANDINI: (leans onto his chest) Hmm. It's so beautiful.

Manik looks peaceful as he enjoys the setting sun with his wife. His eyes twinkle with excitement when he places a heavily wrinkled hand over the chest pocket of his coat.

FLASHBACK - EARLIER IN THE DAY:

Manik waits at the counter of a travel agency. The agent hands him two train tickets to Vancouver. On his way out, he looks down at it proudly before slipping it into his chest pocket.

END OF FLASHBACK.

Do it now, thinks Manik excitedly. We have waited a lifetime for this!

He fidgets a little as he prepares to pull out the tickets but pauses at Nandini's weary voice.

NANDINI: (quietly) Shall we go home?

MANIK: Now?

NANDINI: Hmm. Yeah. I just need a nap. Feeling quite tired.

MANIK: (troubled about the tickets) Erm. Ok fine. Come. Let's go.

Manik rises to his feet and trudges a bit ahead. He stops and turns around to check on Nandini. But she struggles to catch up with him, huffing and puffing with each laborious step.

MANIK: What's wrong?

Manik doesn't get the gravity of the situation until Nandini ---

--- COLLAPSES to the ground!

Reflexes kick in. He quickly stumbles forward and braces her fall with his arms.

MANIK: Nandini!

Nandini no longer responds to his touch or calls.

MANIK: Nandini!!!

AT A HOSPITAL - LATER

Manik is trembling and in tears as he peers through the ICU's glass door.

He sees a doctor and his team attend to Nandini.

The nurses are under intense pressure. They run helter-skelter and follow instructions.

A POP sound ensues as the doctor delivers a sharp wave of life-saving electric current right into Nandini's chest. It momentarily jolts her entire being and throws her back onto the bed, limp and lifeless.

Another shock.

And another.

The waves on the monitor grow progressively weaker and weaker.

It dies down to a zero.

Flutters back to life again.

Disappears.

Shoots up again.

Manik stands on and watches the scene in absolute horror. His breath gets stuck in his throat as the waves on the monitor completely fade away.

... TO BE CONTINUED.

mehak_ahuja thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#6
Awesome concept.. Old aged Manan.. I think this is the first on forum.. Or may be the first I'm going to read...
Super excited.. Will love to read this story
:)
keerthupranu thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#7
didu...😃
How come u always come with different concepts darling...
Oh My God...My eyes welled reading the prologue itself...
Heehe..but I can't imagine Manik in old age...only thing that comes to my mind is the hot n handsome Manik...😛

Thanks for pm...
Continue other stories too dear..plzz...waiting...
megha94kumari thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#8
NYC concept.. kuch Hollywood ki ek cartoon movie jaisa h... BT waiting for update
imlovingit thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#9
Awesome concept. Really different story line. Looking forward to it. Update soon.
21July2014 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#10
What are you?🤢 Where did you get this freaking unique idea from?😲 This is the first time I'm reading a story of old aged manan!
Autumn!❤️ I'm a autumn lover girl!! Those orange leaves falling from those huge trees making a natural carpet and one walking over it with his/her soulmate in their oldage and watching the sunset on a bench... This is so calm, serene, beautiful and such a wonderful sight!! Love nature❤️ You penned the scenic beauty so so well dear!!🤗
Though manik's hair is grey, balding head and all that oldage signs, he hasn't stopped smirking at nandu😉 I loved it man!
Sweet romance..
Awesome prologue.. Better concept.. Very unique.. I loved it.. MaNan in my fav autumn.. I loved it totally!!
Update soon!!
Thnx for the pm :)

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