"Doctor, doctor" i was shouting like a manic person
"Where is the doctor damn it "i yelled, nurse went inside. Watching nandini lying on the stretcher crying in pain was a night mare for me.
"Manik what happened" swati came out she glanced at nandini and examined her.
"Manik you come with me nurse shift her to the ward "she said
"No i won't she needs me more "i denied
"Manik just come with me something's i need to discuss with you "she said i sighed
"Nandini i m coming in a minute "i whisper and rushed towards her cabin.
"What you want she needs medical attention right now why the hell are you wasting my time "i yelled, i felt so frustrated anger rushed through my veins.
"Manik calm down i need to tell you something" she said calmly.
outed o, i ran my fingers in my hair.
"Okay fine tell me what is the problem"i asked
There was no response from her side.
"Tell me damn it, i don't have whole day for you "i screamed.
"Look, manik i discussed her case with senior doctors" i didn't let her complete. I was behaving like a complete manic person.
"What did they said "i said
"Manik first you need to calm your self down i can understand what are you going through but at least listen to me first "she said calmly i sighed and nodded.
"You see manik its not the usual state of affairs, or a normal case. This case is risky. The think is that the mother would probably dead no matter what, and if not than the surgery probably would kill her. But we can save the child because baby is perfectly fine. Her body started becoming weak after the seven months of her pregnancy because baby's needs for protein or nutrition increased it caused the lack of nutrition in her body. She gave her everything to the baby so i don't think so i can save nandini through the operation, but i can save the baby " she said I could feel drops of sweat racing down from my forehead.
"No you have to save her i want my wife safe and sound it is your fault too you should have told me before about all this but you didn't, now i don't want to listen anything save her " i said, i felt so helpless that time.
"I know it was my fault too but through the operation i can't and other option is more risky "she said
"What is the other option" i asked
"Normal delivery but it is more risky than operation"she stated
"I don't care go with it, if it has a little chance to save nandini "i said
"Its not that simple the way it looks, okay mother needs to be conscious during all the time, she is already loosing it. I don't think so her body is strong enough to bear the pain "she told me. I felt my palms get clammy and my throat go dry. I felt my legs get weak.
"But we don't have another option right ?"i asked
"Yeah we don't have any but if she will loose her conscious than you could loose both i won't be able to save them. If we will do it on trial bases like if i will try operation after this than baby will be in her lower abdomen it has lot of risk i can't do it manik you will loose both "she denied
"How many chance of success we have ? "i asked
"I don't know but lets go for operation i will try my best to save nandini "she said it increased my worries.
"No i can't take risk just tell me, from which process we can save mother "i asked
"Through the normal delivery we have more chance, but as i said before you could loose both or she won't be able to expect in near future decision is up to you " she told me All of a sudden i felt my heart shattered into a million pieces.
"Still i want to go with it "i stated
"Think before you act manik i agree miracles do happen but not this much it is so dangerous you will loose both "she said sternly
"I don't care about the baby if we have little chance to save my wife than save her"i felt pain in my chest all this while i waited for my daughter to come in this world, this decision was so hard for me but nandini's life matter the most for me.
"Okay as you say than sign this papers "she said while giving me a file
"And What is this ?" i asked
"If something happened to the mother or child it is not our fault you'll be the responsible one for everything"she said i clutched the paper tight, my heart cried in agony.
"Do it fast manik, we don't have much time "at that point i felt so scared, i was scared to the death everything will be on me if something happened to her or my baby. I will be the reason behind all this. It was a tough decision for me. My hands started shivering when i signed the paper.
"Here you go i want to be with her all this while "i said and gave the papers to her.
"Are You sure "she asked i nodded
"Okay wear them "she said and gave me the clothes or mask to wear, i took them and myself into them.
******
I came out from her cabin, i felt a tear role down from my cheek. I couldn't see her in pain. I felt someone's hand on my shoulder
"Bhai everything will be okay "mukti said while taking me in side hug. Mom stood beside her
"How ..you..c..come to "i choked
"Hospital authorities informed us "she replied.
"Manik you need to be strong for her its not an easy thing to do "mom said while holding my hand.
"But i can't see her like this "i said tears blurred my vision.
"You need to be strong right now she needs you more "she said while wiping my tears.
"I will be, i have to go now "i said she nodded i moved towards the labour room.
My heart was thudding in my chest. I couldn't even imagine what was going to be happen. I stood outside the labour room, my legs felt like a jelly i couldn't move.
"Manik come in we need to rush "swati called me i moved towards there, i glanced at her she was in half conscious state. My eyes began to water watching her in so much of pain.
"Doctor her BP is low its not a good sign "nurse said
"Manik i told you its not a good idea "swati tried again
"No means no just go ahead okay let me handle her "i denied, i wiped my tears. First i needed to calm myself down.
"Nandini listen to me you need to be conscious, its a normal delivery through this we can save you as well as our baby. Keep it in your mind you can save your child. you waited for this moment right... !!!
You have to be strong don't loose your conscious we both can do this for us for our baby you can nandini you can "i said encouraged her while holding her hand. i know it wasn't an easy thing for her to do but she have to. She stared at me blankly
I gave a reassuring smile.
"Remember one thing i cant afford to loose you I LOVE YOU "i whispered she closed her eyes, i rubbed her temple. I give a nod to doctor
Soon the pain started hitting her badly, she becomes breathless and fatigued. Screamed over screamed poured out from her mouth.
And I felt horrible there was nothing I could do for her except keep her comfortable and cheer her on. I was amazed the she was able to put her body through all the effort and pain to bring a little person into the world. I also felt helpless because there was nothing I could do about her pain. Her pain terrified me thinking of what was going to be happen. And yet, during all of the procedures, she remained absolutely focused on the state of the baby.
Nandini's p.o.v.
I squeezed his hand so hard, for so long, that it ended up causing long term nerve damage. His hand twitches and goes numb now from it. But i felt intense pain in my body. I feel a strong urge to push or bear down,along with pressure in the rectal area. My contractions came steadily, gradually, increasing in intensity and frequency from three to five minutes apart. I felt sharp pain in my lower back, abdomen, or thighs. It was the hardest thing of my life. The pain i feel it was so intense or sharp. I became exhausted.
"Ma..manik..i ca. ..can't do this"i manage to said those words.
"You can come on don't loss hope for our baby your baby do it"he said while ruffling my hairs rubbing my forehead
I was about to loss my conscious.
"Nandini you can do it wake up wake up you have to wake up please "i heard him saying i opened my eyes i felt immense pain in my body. Screamed over screamed poured from my mouth.
"Nandini listen to me i can't afford to loose you u have to do this please i m here i love you please try it you can just few minutes more "i looked towards him. I saw tears in his eyes.
I put my all efforts. It was the most painful thing a woman can witness. I reminded myself i wanna live, i have to do this i will. I put more efforts as much as i can put, i tried my best. After 10 minutes which seems like eternity to me i felt sharp shoot pain in my lower abdomen baby's head came out.
"Nandini just few more minutes push it push "i pushed with my full strength. I couldn't breath. I felt so weak, it was so painful.
"Nandini calm down okay we both know you can do this, i can't afford to loose you please try harder"his soothing words fell into my ears, i tried my best i pushed the baby with all my strength. It came out. Last i heard the voice of my baby before i passed out.
Manik's p.o.v.
Manik's pov
"Mr malhotra your daughter"she said i took her in my arms. I just melted. It was the most adorable thing on the whole planet. I was shivering from excitement and handling such a tiny little thing. I was just in awe of the baby. I had nothing but admiration Its by far the most weird and painful thing I have witnessed. Not just giving birth but the whole 9 months of her body getting absolutely wrecked and then the finale. What you get at the end of it is absolutely worth it though. I realized in that moment that she was a million times stronger than I could ever be.
Definitely she is... !!!
I came out from my thoughts when i heard doctor shouting at nurse.
"What the hell are you doing give me that oxygen mask patient is still not okay"she said it made my heart jump out from my body. I felt weak on my knees. I gave baby back to nurse.
"What happened to her"i asked
"She is still not able to take breath properly manik just go out let me handle her"she ordered me.
"No i won't she needs me"i denied
"I said get out manik please let me do my work "she shouted on me though i didn't wanted to leave her alone but i was left with no options. I dropped a kiss on forehead and came out.
"Manik how she is "her appa asked me.
"Still not okay doctor is trying her best "i stated
"Yash lets just hope for the best "her mother said
I closed my eyes i felt so exhausted, my body felt tense i just sat there, i buried my face between my palms. I felt scared, what if something happened to her i won't be able to forgive myself.
"For my baby I don't want a mother like you "
"I won't be there for you i promise" her words rang in my ears. I dreaded on my place,
It will be okay everything will be.
I encouraged myself and rested my head on the wall waiting for doctor to come out.
******
After half an hour which felt like eternity to me, doctor came out. We rushed towards her.
"How my daughter is "her mother asked.
"Out of danger but still weak we just need to keep her under observation let her be here for some days, but right now she is fine "she stated i found my breath again.
"Thank you so much doctor "her appa said
"Well to be honest it was like a miracle for me, but the way this two stood by each other it was commendable" she said with a genuine smile on her lips.
"Can i meet her "i asked
"Yeah you can but she is still unconscious just be careful she needs rest "she said i nodded, while moving towards the labour room.
I just couldn't bring myself to go to see her. It was so painful for me to see her lying there in a hospital bed with wires hanging here and there. I sat near her bed.
"We ..we won, you won nandini you won "i said holding her hand I finally let the tears fall. Just wanting that limp cold hand to grab ahold of mine in a tight grip, knowing things could be fine.
"Now just trust me i will make everything fine, i will do i promise "i said while kissing her knuckles.
I sat there watching her, talking to her i didn't even realise when i fall asleep.
Nandini's p.o.v.
When i woke up, i felt pain in my body. i found manik sleeping beside me, holding my hand. His words confessions kept echoing in my ears the way he handled me this time. I freed my hand from his hold. It disturbed his sleep he stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes.
"You woke up are you okay wait me call doctor "he said before i could say something he rushed outside in a blink of eye everyone was beside me.
Doctor examine me.
"How she is now "appa asked
"She is fine but little weak, but after two three days she will be okay you just need to take care of yourself nandini "she said i nodded
"Manik come with me some thing i need to tell you about her diet or medicines "she said to manik
"Everything is okay with her right "he asked worriedly
"Definitely told you na just little things about her diet or medicine" she completed, he nodded and left the room.
Soon everyone started greeting me.
"Nandu how are you feeling beta "appa asked while cupping my cheek
"Much better appa where is my baby"i asked i wanted to see her how my baby looks.
"In the nursery she looks like you "mukti said
"She you mean my daughter" i asked a smiled played on my lips
"Yes your daughter let me call nurse she will bring her here "mukti said and move outside soon nurse came in with my daughter in her hand.
"Here is your daughter" she said i took her in my arms.
I can't believe she's actually HERE". She was so short, shorter than I thought she would be. She was as sleepy as I was. Good. We already had something in common.
Oh god what i was thinking she was a new born baby...
Her eyes was like manik, nose and forehead was like me, her cheeks were puffy, her tiny hands. She was so tiny, short. I admired her. I felt responsible.
Here i was holding a little life in my hands, that would shape my life more than I could possibly hope to shape her . I still plan on learning more from her than I could ever hope to teach her.
Life is beautiful and holding her was the best of what i call life. It was beyond my words. I dropped a kiss on her forehead.
"Admiring your daughter "nyonica ma'am said i smiled towards her.
"She is so cute and tiny na "mukti said i nodded excitedly.
"Okay lets go out let her rest she needs it take care nandu "amma said i nodded everyone left the room.
*****
Its been a three days i was here in hospital, To say he wasn't there for me all time, Would be a lie. All this while he didn't sleep properly, He was always there for me whenever i needed him the most. To be honest all this happened successfully because of him. If he wouldn't be there for me, i would have lost my life. I was alive because of him. But now it was time for me to leave. I promised appa that day i will come back after my delivery. I gave him our divorce papers which we both signed nine months ago. Now it was time to leave. I know this time appa won't listen to me, i have to follow his orders without any complaints.
Manik's p.o.v.
"We will discharge her today, complete all the formalities. Than you can take your daughter and wife with you" swati said to me. I felt blessed, the moment itself really just felt surreal. I couldn't believe she was finally there and that she was "mine". The fact that I was now her DAD , was just too big to grasp at that moment, but I did feel this overwhelming feeling of responsibility for this tiny little human. I left her cabin happily going back home with my love and daughter was so over whelming for me.
Nandini's p.o.v.
"I completed all the formalities, now we can go home lets go"he said with the smile on his face, i haven't seen him this much happy since so long.
"She is coming with me manik"appa spoke his smile faded.
"What"he asked
"Yeah you heard me right here is the divorce papers no need to sign them, you already did. We have enough of your drama. Now I won't let you hurt my daughter more she is coming with me, not with you" appa said sternly, he just stared at me without a blink. His eyes held so many questions, i couldn't find out what he wanted to say.
"But "he said appa didn't let him complete.
"She wants to come with me, its her decision not mine tell him nandu you don't wants to be him now "he spoke, manik look towards me, i felt my body numb.
"Appa i "i tried stopping him
"I said tell him you don't wants to be with him"he ordered me, my heart skipped a beat.
"I don't want to be with you,its ..my decision let me go"my voice broke, i felt pain in my chest. he just looked at me with his eyes full of longing and fire.
"She is yours manik "i said while giving the baby to him. It was a equally painful for me too. I moved away from him.
"Nandini wait "he called me. I turned back
"Take her with you, she needs you more than me"he said while passing her towards me. But I couldn't understand why he wanted to ?
He waited for his daughter, all this while. He deserves to be with her.
"No i can't" i denied
"I respect your decision, i won't stop you. But that doesn't mean i will give up on you, no i won't. This mere divorce paper can't take u away from i don't believe in all this. You wants to go, go no problem but when i said i love u i will be always there for you i mean it. Take her with you, she needs you more than me. But we both are not over i still love u or i will always do i promise. I will bring you back"he said the with the determination in his voice, His dark eyes were crystallized with tears.
"Come soon"he said while cupping my face,
"Take her with you "he said and handed the baby to me.
"I won't let her come back to you, get it straight in your head "appa said while holding my hand he drag me with him. I turned back to look at him, he was still staring at me as if pleading to me to stay, as if he wanted to say don't leave but he couldn't...
Even i can't i was helpless.
Why everyone wants to control my life ? I don't have any right on my life ? For the first time when i wanted to stay, i was forced to leave, i know it was my decision. I wanted to move on but that is not what i want. I know i was wrong, this time. I was blaming him for past mistakes he made. It becomes a battle between us two, who is more hurt ..?
He or me ???
I don't know i just don't know, i m doing the same what he did. I know hurting him won't lessen my pain.
, i take his daughter away from him, there is no such a big punishment for a father. But i need a break i don't know what life has stored for me, but he has the same right on his daughter the way i have, i won't let someone snatch his right. We both are over today, but we are still connected through this new life.
I felt helpless, no one could repair me. I was beyond repair. I was done with all this, it was time for me to moved on. But why i do feel like i left my everything behind, with him. With this thought i came out from the hospital, and appa drove us to my house. But now it wasn't mine anymore!
Manik's p.o.v.
Manik's p.o.v.
"Don't go, don't go, please don't leave me again, alone..."i so wanted to tell her but i couldn't. Watching her walking away from me was so hard or painful for me. It felt like a piece of me went with her and now i felt empty from inside. I stood there like a statue, watching her leaving me. My legs felt like a jelly, tears blurred my vision. I know it was my punishment but it was too hard for me. I came out from the hospital, sat in my car drove to my place.
Failure - it feels like failure.
I wasn't even able to manage that.
my first child don't know when i will be able to see her .
My life would never be normal again. Each breath felt like an effort.
I wont be able to heard her laugh, her smile, was never able to rest my hand on her chest and feel the flutter of her tiny heart.
What was the worst part?
All of it. Every single awful minute.
It was the most terrifying experience of my life.
I sat there near the cradle, a lone tear slipped from my eyes. Probably it was my punishment, but it was too hard for me.
"Bhai"mukti came near me. She put her hand on my shoulder consoling me.
"She le...left, she...left m..me"my voice broke.
"Bhai everything will be okay don't worry we will bring her back "she said i sobbed.
"She said she don't wants to be with me, she said it mukti "i choked i felt a pang of pain in my chest.
"Bhai don't give up, don't loose hope "she said while taking me in a hug.
"I won't i promise but it hurts like hell" i said between my sobs.
"It will be okay bhai it will be, we will bring her back"she said i closed my eyes, tears came out from my eyes.
Writer's pov - why every damn person wants to control a woman's or girl's life. Its not like they don't care about you they do but why don't they ask what you want ? Whether its your parents or husband we don't have any rights on our life ? But why are we not human beings ? In your whole life one time just one time you must have felt controlled by other person why ?
We don't have any right on our life ?
---------------------------------------------
Pheww done did i ever said its an easy story heck i never remember my note ? Well i tried my best i studied a lot on this topic, i tried my best to keep it as natural as i can those were science fact okay not some stupid fantasy. Or i know pov part went bit longer but it was necessary i know your exams are going on even mine are but the your comments works like an energy drink so silent readers please comment i worked a lot on this chapter. You know you have all the rights to criticize me but at least say something anyways sorry for keeping you all on wait i hope i compensate.
