Please refrain from copying or plagarism.It is way too impolite.😳
The update is betaed by Kelly.
Note: You might find similarities between this and the book Kite runner by Khaled Hosseni.I have taken some chunks as refrench because I be no professional.😆
Chapter 1: The Dreaded Tragedy
It had been six hours; six long hours, motionless outside the door of the room on the ICU ward, just waiting for the nurse.
This had to be the darkest night of their lives; there outside the thick partition. Manik and Nandini sat, together in their sorrow, but still disconnected from each other. Neither spoke; how could one with a closed throat and a grief that left them as vacant as the starless night it had to be. Surely no star would dare shine tonight, not when the brightest star in their lives threatened to be extinguished. The silence of the night tortured them to the point that they had each sought to fill the blankness with their prayers; litanies muttered to themselves for the protection of their Ansh.
Manik's shirt was covered in blood, a fact that mattered little as time and again he got up and tried to look inside to the ICU room. Nothing mattering but the small boy covered in the white cloth with breathing tubes, struggling for every breath. This was not a sight he would ever want to see and definitely could never have imagined when he left Ansh yesterday. Who knew that, when he returned on a whim to the orphanage to meet Ansh late that night, he would find Nandini in the throes of hysteria bawling her heart out.
He leaned on the wall beside the ICU door and looked at Nandini who sat there with her face resting on her hands. Her eyes still closed, she raised her head. She was no longer crying, but Manik could still see evidence of her dried tears. Her hair was disheveled and she was muttering something. Intermittently a sob would escape her lips and she sniffed continuously. Manik Malhotra had never ever felt so helpless in his life. Inside the ICU was the boy who meant the world to him and here with him was this girl whom, it had become a necessity that he saw every morning. He did not know why but, somehow Ansh and Nandini had given him a reason to live.
A sudden urge hit him to reassure her that everything would be fine. Finally after the many hours of solitary vigil, he approached and sat beside her taking her hand in his. Strangely once connected he could not say for sure if he was the one giving or needing that assurance. His strong hands trembled in hers and Nandini looked up at him. He saw the ravages wrought by her hours of mourning: her eyes were swollen and bloodshot from crying continuously; her face was tired and worn out. She looked pale and scared.
"Ansh will be fine. I will make it fine. I promise," Manik spoke nervously assuring himself with his words, as well as her.
Nandini withdrew her hands from his and looked at him in utter disgust. She looked angrily at him." As if anyone can believe one of your promises. Don't make promises you can't keep, Manik - especially to a child -especially if you can't fulfill them!"
Manik looked at her shocked. He was clueless why Nandini was hurling these accusations at him until she thrust a torn page into his hands. He looked at it and he realized it was in Ansh's handwriting. He read it, and the world gave way from under his feet. He clenched his teeth, angry at himself. It felt as if as if his throat would rip and his chest would explode.
"How could you Manik? That child is just 7 years and what did you do?" Nandini lamented tearfully, while Manik struggled to find the right words to explain.
"Nandini" he said, trying hard to speak as he choked over his emotions.
"What Manik? Do you have the slightest idea what could have happened today if the orphanage guard had not thought to call me to tell me that Ansh had locked himself in the bathroom?"
Manik tried to speak, but Nandini refused him even this and continued her tirade. "Ansh has always been a quiet, reserved child and he always told me that you were the most special to him. You should have thought once. How can you judge a small child on the basis of his sexuality and not adopt him after making a promise to him?"
Manik lost his cool at the mention of Ansh's sexuality, grabbed Nandini's shoulders and looked straight into her eyes brimming with tears."Enough Nandini." He ground viscously out, piercing her with his gaze as he glowered at his companion. They stood there, both shocked at his outburst until a passing nurse interrupted them. She eyed Manik and Nandini warily and cleared her throat. Immediately Manik withdrew his hands while Nandini wiped her tears and sniffed. Manik cursed under his breath, regretting his actions and overwhelmed with guilt for the condition the child was in. He tried to explain, "I know I made a mistake, of prematurely informing him that I would adopt him, but I certainly did not know Ansh would take this seriously. I had no idea about his sexuality, and dammit it, even if I had, it wouldn't have made a difference. I still want to adopt him and I was working on it."
Nandini looked at him confused when Manik chose to come clean to at least one person and get a bit rid himself of the remorse he had felt since his error. "You know Indian rules. A single father cannot adopt a child. So I all this time I have been seeking a suitable bride to marry and become a mother to Ansh. I still want to adopt him; there is no one more precious to me."
"I am sorry..." Manik muttered, when all of a sudden Nandini hugged him tight. For once Manik did not know what to do. He could feel her body against his and exuding strange warmth, it was a balm to his soul. He immediately felt things would be fine and his heart, so recently full of turmoil, now seemed to have found its peace. He slowly moved his hands and finally sealed her in his protective embrace. They remained locked together indefinitely, just holding each other in silence, offering each other much needed support. Nandini continuously wept before finally finding her voice, "I can't lose him Manik. He is the only person I have now who loves me like I do. Please save him."
Manik rubbed her back shushing her and patting her head slowly. Unbidden, he bent down and kissed her forehead and reassured her. "He will be fine." He inhaled the strawberry shampoo scent of her hair, and smiled. This was madness he thought, How, under such dire circumstances could this feel so good? He had no clue, but he was so at peace with her in his arms.
Their soulful embrace was interrupted when the doors of the ICU finally opened and a nurse in white came out causing both of them jump apart and turn their attentions to her.
"The child is out of danger although we have kept him in observation for a suicide watch." The overworked nurse informed both of them bluntly in her exhaustion.
"Can we meet him?"Nandini asked feeling some modicum of relief finally.
"I am afraid not. He is still not in his senses due to the sedatives. Tomorrow morning would be better," she replied while Manik smiled at her and thanked her as she returned back into the room.
Nandini peered through the glass trying to catch a view of him alert, but all she could see was Ansh sleeping peacefully. She returned to her seat, slightly dejected before looking at Manik remembering their last interaction. That she did not seem shy or embarrassed about it made Manik feel good.
"You seem totally drained. Why don't we take this in turns; you get some sleep and I will wait stay up. You can rest on my shoulder." Manik offered to a non-responsive Nandini. He knew Nandini was not in the state of mind to take so much stress and he chose not to argue, when she did not answer. Instead he excused himself and walked out of the ICU corridor hoping Nandini would get some sleep.
Manik walked through the passage haunted by the all too familiar hospital smells and sounds. It was his own personal hell. Although the hospital was the place where people got a second chance at life, it was the same place where so many lost theirs. Manik certainly did not have good memories in this place in particular. But none of that had meant anything to him today, not when it was Ansh's life in the balance. He sighed as he walked through the corridors of narrow rectangular windows, feeling guilty that Ansh was in this state solely because of him. The child he loved the most and had nearly killed himself, all due to him and never had Manik felt so heavy of heart.
He came to a wide windowless corridor crammed with people sitting on metallic folding chairs set along the walls. He stood there, coming face to face with the reality of everything, and time just seemed to stop for him. He wanted to break things, to shout, to scream and to bury himself in the darkness somewhere. It was a familiar feeling to Manik. This was exactly how he had felt when he left music years back and back then too, he wanted to tear away from this very place and go somewhere far away. But here he was back in this certain hospital praying for his most prized possession in this world to be fine. And all he could feel was that his legs were as weighted as if they were made of concrete blocks, his lungs empty of air and his throat burning. He closed his eyes hoping he could just float away and escape into some soulful music but, that was so far in his past now. Now, all he heard was the chatter, muted sobbing, sniffing, a distant moaning, someone else sighing, elevators doors opening with a bang and the drone of paging operators.
ON the other side Nandini was also struggling. She already had this empty feeling in her stomach but now her throat was aching; her eyes stung with sweat and each intake of breath was like inhaling fire. Although Ansh was out of danger she wanted to hear his voice now calling out to her and this had her weeping again. She felt lightheaded and dizzy with every movement of her head and all she wanted was for this fateful night to end. She begged for the sun to rise; for a new, brighter day. She sat there like a statue and looked up at the ceiling observing moths fling themselves at the dull gray light tubes running through the length of the corridor and somewhere in this utter silence she could hear the papery falling of their wings. Nandini closed her eyes again and she could vision what she saw in the bathroom this evening. The water drops dripping from the faucet and landing with a plink into the blood bucket, the left arm dangling over the side of the back, the blood soaked razor sitting on the toilet tank and Ansh's eyes still half open but lightless. Nandini opened her eyes with a jerk. She wanted to forget those eyes more than anything. She knew what she had to do to end the battle with time that she was having. She had to sleep. And soon after much struggle finally, Nandini let sleep overtake as she curled up in the chair, raising her knees and using them as a pillow.
That was the position Manik found her in when he returned after a short walk out to the hospital parking lot. He stood there for a while and then went and looked through the ICU window to see Ansh. White sheets spilled over the side of the gurney and a pair of small bloodied feet now covered with bandages poked out from under the sheet. He saw the small hands kept on his stomach were bandaged as well, but at least, they had withdrawn the breathing tube and transferred him to a ground level bed and all the sounds of the wired machines kept their ensured him that Ansh was safe.
Dejected, he sat on the chair quietly making sure Nandini did not wake up from the noise of him settling in the seat. He slowly put the coat that lay on the chair on top of Nandini who had managed to snuggle herself into a ball although in an upright position. He put his head back on the wall and did not realize when he dosed off. But later when he woke up he saw he had Nandini in his arms. She had turned to him apparently and hugged him as he had slept and now the coat was covering both of them. In return, he had encircled his arms around her holding fast against him as she tightly as she had wrapped herself around his waist. Unknowingly a smile crept on his face seeing her there so content in his arms and looked out of the window to see the sun rising in the sky. The rays of light were entering slowly though the widow into the dark corridor and perhaps even into his life too as, in the dawning of the new day, he now understood what to do to give Ansh the will to live, and to transition back to the lively child he had been before.
The nurse came out and appeared quite amused to see Nandini sound sleep like that, or maybe she was wishing she was in her place, whatever it was Manik just did not care. She was about to speak when Manik put his finger on his mouth indicating her not to disturb Nandini's rest. Although frustrated, the nurse signed to him that Ansh was awake. Manik instantly jumped in delight of finally seeing Ansh that he did not realize he had done the very thing he had sought to avoid, and woke up Nandini. She looked at him confused and then embarrassed to find herself in such a position in front of the nurse, but Manik's next words left her uncaring of anything but the good news.
"Ansh is awake."
Both of them entered the blandly colored ICU thinking the chipped cream paint and dark gray moldings and glazed tiles were akin to paradise. Their boy was alive, and now awake. The bed was next to the window and in it laid Ansh in a short sleeved hospital pajama lying on his back with the, blanket pulled to his chest and his face turned towards the window. As Manik walked up to him his eyelids fluttered and opened. He looked at Manik and then Nandini and then looked away again. He was still pale even with all the blood they had given him.
Manik looked at Ansh dejectedly and then at Nandini who nodded her head and asked him "How are you my young boy?"Nandini asked in her ever charming and energetic voice.
However Ansh stayed silent and looked out of the window.
"I know Ansh does not like hospitals so Manik has requested the doctor and we will take Ansh home soon. That's good news right? "Nandini commented aloud.
But still Ansh met them with silence. Manik took the lead and spoke "Ansh you know I have bought you some new books."
Again silence. A few more awkward minutes passed and Manik nodded at Nandini to leave Ansh and him alone for a while. She went out and Manik could see her looking in through the rectangular glass door. Manik turned towards Ansh and a light sweat formed on his brow and upper lip.
"I am sorry Ansh. I am so sorry."
Ansh glanced at him before he looked away, his face set like stone. His eyes were lightless and vacant and that scared the shit out of Manik.
Ansh covered his eyes with one of his bruised arms, while Manik hesitatingly sat on the bed beside him. "Ansh look at me. You are really special to me."
The child shook his head slowly and Manik did not know how to respond at all. He sighed and then gathered his courage to speak again "I know I am at fault but at least tell me how you are feeling."
And finally Ansh opened his mouth slowly. A hoarse sound came out after he had licked his lips to speak.
"Tired."
Manik looked at him not sure of what he had said. "What?"
He winced when he spoke again in that husky voice barely above a whisper" Tired of everything."
Manik looked aghast, and then slumped in his chair.
He gave a slow shake of his head. "Tired of everything," he repeated.
"What can I do, Ansh to make you feel better? Please tell me "Manik tried convincing him by taking his small hands in his.
"I want--" he began wincing again and slowly took out his hands from Manik. The whole time Manik's eyes were drawn to his wrist wrapped tightly in the white gauge bandage.
"I want my parents."
A lone tear fell from Manik's eye and he struggled to find the right words to explain Ansh.
"I wish for a life with my parents. I want to be happy."
"I wish you hadn't--wish you hadn't...I wish you people had left me in the water." Ansh completed the sentence after a struggle and Manik's eyes shot up. The depths that he had unknowingly hurt this child seemingly beyond repair was intolerable...he felt terrible.
"Don't ever say that again" Manik said leaning forward wiping the tears from Ansh's eyes."I can't bear to hear you talk like that."Manik touched his shoulder and he flinched.
Ansh exhaled through his nose and closed his eyes and Manik heard a light noise at the door driving his attention towards Nandini. As he waited for the right words to speak to make up to Ansh his mind flashed all the happy moments he had spent with Ansh in the past year making him realize how important he was to him. Manik knew it well Ansh did deserve all that he could give, and so he said "I am adopting you Ansh. I have found you a mother."
Edited by Loqi - 9 years ago
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