A Story Which Started 400 Years Ago

Hey guys I m shru
Ya I am new here but I have read many ff over here n it inspired me to write one
It's my 1st try so plz give me ur views so I can improvise myself n my ff to

so here I present my ff
title " A Story Which Started 400 Years Ago..."

as it's a long long ago when English was not found in India so sorry for using tipical Hindi I will write English meaning of such difficult words

character sketch!

manik: senapati ke beta! takatvar sakti shali aur buddhiman
koi anajan admi dekh kr bole k yeh hai yuvraj

nandini: ohh nahi yuvrani nandini
sundar aur sanskari ladna janti hai apne pita Ki ladli!

uday: nandini ke bade bhai buddhi man aur takatvar

Raja ashok: unhohe apne rajya ko dushmano se azad karvaya aur praja k priya(fav) Raja unki 2rani thi

rani umavati: badi rani sundar aur chatur!
vo dusri rani sobha Ki badi behan hai uday Ki maa

rani sobha: choti rani magar behad sundar aur doodh se swat(fair in skin tone) sanskari aur behad khoobsurat gati hai
nandini ki maa

amar: senapati aur manik ke pita Raja k sath rehna aur unha har adesh mante tha! hamasha raja ko yudh Mai bachaya hai

padma: amar Ki patni aur manik Ki maa apne pati beta aur rajya ke liya kuch bhi kr sakti hai sankat(problem) k samadhan deti hai

raj parivar aur amar ke parivar mai acchi maitry hai sab parivar Ki tarah rehte hai!

aage dekhte hai kya hote hai!

New character will be introduced during story itself

plz tell how it was so I can improvise

Hey..
Welcome to forums...
Nice concept..
Do continue..

part_1

raj mehal Mai sab both khush tha sa. both jaldi jaldi sab kaam kar reha tha!

rani umavati: are ap log jaldi kijya humari yuvrani k janamdin hai! sab theek we hone chiya beta uday apne sare intzam dekh liya?
uday: ha maa sab theek se hua hai
Raja ashok: both accha. sari tyariya both acchase hui hai!

raj mehal kisi dulhan se kam nai lag rahe tha!
pure rajya Mai sab ko nayota (invite) bheja gaye tha!

sab lok sam Ki dawat ke liya tayar tha!
Raja ashok unki dono rani k sath ek bade se kamre Mai dakhil hote hai! Raja ke ek mitra Raja manifesto bhi unke parivar samat aaye tha unki ek patni nai rani dharma aur beti rajkumari abha aur rajkumar shakti!
yuvraj uday bhi vaha aate hai aur Raja mahideep aur rani dharma k aashirvad leta hai!
unki nazar rajkumari abha pr padti hai aur ve unha dekhte hi rehte hai! tabhi rajkumar shakti aa kr unhe gale lagate hai!
tabhi Raja Ki nazar kamre Mai dakhil hote amar aur padma pr padti hai jo unki taraf hi aate hai
amar raja mahideep ko pranam kr sab alag jate hai mahilao ko chod kr

rajkumari abha: rani ji yuvrani nandini kb aayagi?
rani sobha: bas aati hi hongi!

ek sanik: dhyan de yuvrani nandini padhar rahi hai!
tabhi yuvrani nandini dakhil hoti hai unhe dekha kr koi bhi yahi kahega k pari hai vo...
unhone hare aur neela rang ke langha pehna tha! baal khula aur both se aabhushan(jewelry) pehani thi unki satha 2dasi bhi aati hai...

yuvrani nandini sab ke pav chu kr aashirvad leti hai.
vo amar aur padma k bhi pav chuti hai
padma: yeh Kya kr rhi h ap?
nandini: ap bhi to humse bade ho! hum apki god mai khela hai ap bhi humre maa aur pite jase ho!
amar: sacch mai yuvrani ap both samajdar hai

nandini: accha magar manik kaha hai?
padma: pata nahi bola k dawat Mai seedha aayage!
nandini: nahi sudhrage!
amar: aate hi hoge yuvrani

yuvrani nandini aur rajkumari abha dono dusri aur chale jate hai! 3rani aur padma baate kar rahe tha aur tabhi raja ashok aur Raja mahideep dono uday aur shakti ke satha vaha aate hai!

dusri aur
nandini: to kya hua?
abha: kiska kya hua?
nandini: are bhai ne apse kuch kaha?
abha: nahi to! kyu?kuch kehna chiya tha?
nandini: are bhai ne khud kuch samai pehla jab ap aayi thi humse bola tha Ki ve apko pasand karte hai aur pitaji se baat krne wale hai apke k satha vivah krne k kiya
abha: kya ap saccha keh rhi h? apne unha bataya to nhi?
nandini: nahi bataya aur hum bilkul sacch keh rahe hai!

tabhi padma vaha aati hai aur kehti hai undono ko bula rahe hai!

sab raja aur rani k pass jate hai!
rani dharma: rajkumari abha huma apse kuch baat krni hai
kehte hua ve unha sab se thoda door le gai

nandini sab k samne dekhti hai prashnose
sab bas muskurte hai aur uday ko dekha to unha samaj aa gaye ke unki aur abha k vivah Ki baat hai
rajkumari abha sab k pass aane Ki vajah bhar chali gai
rani dharma : ve mann gai!
nandini unki peecha jati hai

plz tell how it was guys!

Ya Allah! Itni kathin Hindi! Hum toh pareshan ho gaye aapki katha samajhte-samajhte! Hume aisa lag raha hai ki aapko ye katha avashy aage le jaani chahiye! Jab bhi likhe, nishchint hokar hume santesha bhejein! Hum aage padhna chahenge
l:-Pve
Ayisha

part_2

nandini abha ke peecha aangan mai jati hai!
nandini: kyu bhabhi? kya hua?
abha:nandini huma satana bandh kijya!
nandini: accha theek hai magar huma uske badla kuch chiya!
abha: kya chiya?
nandini: ap humare liya humri pasandi da gulab jamoon bana dengi!
abha: theek hai
dono sakhi mil kr baate kr rhi thi tabhi nandini dekhti hai Ki koi mehal Ki peecha k darwaze Ki aur je rhe hai!
nandini:ap ander jaiya hum aate hai
abha chali jati hai aur nandini us admi k peecha jati hai
vo peecha k daewaze se Ander jate hai aur nandini tabhi khanjar nikl kr uski gardan pr rakhti hai
vo admi both lamba tha nandini se zada magar fri bhi vo kamzor nhi padti
(nandini hamesha ek khanjar apne satha rakhti hai aur vo us admi k peecha khadi hai to ve us k chera nahi dekh pati)

nandini: kon ho tum? aur asa chori chupa kaha ghusa je rhe ho?
admi: nandini Mai hu!
nandini: natak maat kro tum nakal krne Mai bhale hi accha hoge magar manik asa chori chupe nahi gush sakte!
Ha ve manik tha lamba aur apne sarir ko ittna majboor bana hua!
vo nandini ki taraf ghoomte hai!
nandini: tum asa chori chupa kyu ghoos rahe tha?
manik; chori chupa nhi aate to ap sab k samne muja maarti
nandini: agar derr se aaoge to vo na kru to kya kru?
manik nandini ko dekhte hai
manik: ap behad khoobsurat lag rhi hai!
nandini sharma kr neecha dekhti hai
nandini:vo chodo humare liya kya tofa hai?
manik: yeh rahe apke pehla tofa

keta hua manik apne kamar patte se ek neela kamal nikalte hai!
(yeh kamal both kam paya jate hai aur both door milte hai)
nandini: aah manik yeah to both sundar hai
manik: apse zada nahi!
nandini sharma se lal hoti hai maga sambhlte hua
nandini: apne kaha tha pehla tofa matlab aur bhi hai!
manik: ha bilkul hai!
nandini:to dijya!
manik: ah ha ittni asani se nhi
nandini:fir?
manik: ko ap andaza lagane padage ke yeh dusre tofa kya hoge?
nandini sochti hai aur kuch pal baad
nandini: hum jante hai isme jumkha hai
(ha nandini ko jumkha both pasand tha)
manik: haha yeh lijya
manik ek lakde k baksa ko nandini k hath Mai deta hai!
nandini usa khotlti hai aur usme chandi k jumkha tha
nandini: manik yeh both both both sunder hai
yeh pakdya !
ve hunha kamal aur baksha deti hai aur apne pehna hua jumkha uttr kr manik k diya hua jumkha pehnti hai!
nandini: kase lag rhe hai
manik: ap in jumkho ko nai paribhasha deti gai
(u complement this earnings)
nandini shamarti hai: huma mukhya kamre mai chane chiya

dono sath Mai chalet hai vaha je kr nandini saw se kehte hai
"namaste ap sab mre janamdin ke avsar par yaha aaye muja both accha laga asha keti hai ko apke aashirwad mre sath bane rahe! aur mri tarafse Mai khud sab ko mitthai dena chati hu!"
keh kr nandini kuch dasi k sath sab Mai mitthi baatne Mai vyast ho gai

manik ek kone Mai khade hoke unha dekh rhe tha!
manik sochte hai
nandini aaj apke janamdin hai mane hamesha apko musibaat se Dorr rahkaha hai isliay nahi ke yeh mre kartivya (duty) hai magar is liya ke Mai apse pyar krte hu
ha nandini magar hum mil nhi sakte to kya hua? Mai apse pyar krte rahunga!

ek awaz: both pyar krte ho ne nandini se!
manik apne hosh Mai nhi tha so ha boldiya
jab unha pata chale to ve dekhna k liya ghoomee dekha to abha thi
manik: nhi asa nhi hai jiji
(elder sister is called jiji manik unko badi behan mante hai)

abha: hum sab jante hai
manik: jiji vada kijya ap kisi nhi bologi! varne nandini ke liya musibaat hogi! vada kijya!
abha: theek hai vada krte hai!
manik vaha se chale jate hai

new concept...plz cont soon and pm me