Nadia this story has great potential .. And with ur beautiful thoughts it's like cherry on the cake ..but few scenes I think u need to clarify .. I am not disrespecting u but just giving suggestion.
When u wrote
Manik you are more famous but the group is our " she said and look at her friends Manik look at his other friends all stand behind AliyaNavya came forward and beg " please Manik don't change your mind my Nandu will not stay long in your life" her voice shiver"Why you are saying that?" he held her both hands and shakes his head she take out a file and give it to himHere u didnt clarify how Navya came and heard Manik and Alia's convo like she was in guest room with Nandu no??
just these Lil things and u can be a great writer. . 😃 Please don't take me wrong I am just trying to give suggestions for betterment..
I hope u won't mind ..
Edited by Endurance - 10 years ago