"What happens when people open their hearts?"...
"They get better."
Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood
I've seen every single expression on Manik's face. I've seen him in pure anger, I've seen his unabashed menace, I've seen the coldness in his eyes, I've seen the limits of his mercy. I've seen him at his worst, I've seen him in envy, I've seen him when he was vulnerable, I've seen him when he smirked. I've seen Manik when he smiled to smile, I've seen him dance like a kid. I've seen Manik, when he laughed and retorted and I've seen Manik fall to the ground and cry tears of unbearable agony. I've seen the nakedness of his anger and I've seen the dejection of his soul.
But in all those days, in the moments when he was low and the moments when he was mesmerized, in moments when he fought, and in moments when he found, I'd never seen him filled with so much peace.
Peace.
Calmness.
Fragility.
Vulnerability.
Beauty.
Childlike Innocence.
I've never associated Manik with all these before. But when I look at him now, all I see is peace. All of it, the steadiness of his nerves, the faint creases on his brows that are fading, the restlessness that's gone. Manik was always restless. When he was angry or unheard, his whole body imitated. He used to constantly tap his feet to push the energy out of him. And when he smiled, it was full of inhibitions, his laughter, never selfish and for himself.
That was because he never opened himself up. His innocence shriveled inside, it was crippling until she simply freed him.
It didn't happen in one day or one month. It didn't happen overnight. Every moment that it took to reach here was poignant and beautiful.
"When I'm with you, I feel like being good."
"Nandini jab tum meresaath hoti ho toh mujhe andhere se darr nahi lagta. Because I know, you're there...to shine for me...like a star."
"You protect me. You're my shining star."
Darkness doesn't symbolizes a night with no candle. It symbolizes every single moment he was lonely and vulnerable and most importantly helpless.
Darkness represents the night where one friend betrayed and the other lost the normality of his life for Manik.
Think of a boy, helpless, fragile, alone, having no idea how to deal with the devastation of one's deceit, scared and alone with no idea how to help the other who was in agony, because of him.
For Manik darkness is helplessness.
Darkness is isolation.
It's guilt.
It's a nightmare.
He was alone.
He was abandoned.
He couldn't do anything.
He was paralyzed.
For Manik, darkness is loneliness.
But Nandini is his light. When he told her she's his shining star he didn't just tell her that she has all of him, but he told her that he knows she'd never let him be alone.
She'll never let him be helpless.
When she's there, he doesn't feel abandoned.
When she's there, he knows she won't leave him in the darkness.
He won't be left.
He won't be deprived.
He won't ever be lonely.
"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy"the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light."
Bren Brown
And that trust is the reason he opened up, he let go of his inhibitions, of his fears. She is filling him with so much light every single moment of his life that he no more tries to hide himself. He smiles, he smiles every single second and it has the innocence of a child. He smiles and all his smile tells is the sheer joy of his heart.
He smiles when he sees her smile.
He smiles when he's near her.
He smiles when he sees her.
He smiles when she tells him let's be traditional friends.
He smiles when he takes her sandwich from her.
He smiles when he takes a bite of it.
He smiles when he teases her.
He smiles when she blushes.
He smiles when she catches his bluff.
He smiles with abundance.
He smiles for her.
She makes him want to be good. So he becomes good for her.
She inspires him to connect and to be a better person, so he helps anyone and everyone, for her.
She bridges him with the world, so he feels, for her.
He acts like an adorable child, he roams around in a canteen taking bites from her sandwich, his eyes shimmer with mischief and love and he's ready to be whoever she wants.
Ready to do anything she wants.
She's his shining star.
And he wants to devote his life to her.
He wants to be a better man.
For her.
She owns the baby inside him.
She owns the Monster.
She owns Manik.
And all of his facets, and all of him, wants to smile and be the man she deserves.
All of it.
Just.
For her.
Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.
-Zora Neale Hurston
this boy with his adorable antics has me charmed to my toes. Who's this adorable paagal babyish larka? MERA MANIK
RIDAđł
