Don’t underestimate the angry words said in haste

The forum is gushing over cute bumbling Rohit - so what if he had said those hurtful things on phone to Sona? He was angry with himself & guilty & grieving & going thru an emotional transition, natural for him to take it out on someone close. It happens.

But we are underestimating the hurt caused by harsh words said in hasty anger. If it happens again & again it can wear down the self-esteem of the victim & make her insecure. It has happened thrice here (accusingly asking how they got the watch, fashion show fiasco, raima bday).

It doesn’t matter that he didn’t mean them. They still hurt at the time. The victim starts fearing the angry words said in haste & shielding herself from the hurt by walking on eggshells around the man so as to not agitate him. She is eventually reduced to a shadow of herself.

It is a commonly observed pattern among couples where the man takes out his stress by scolding (or to stretch the same logic, beating) the wife. The wife becomes a quiet pleaser.

Appreciate your post and I really understand what you are saying . I am in close contact of a few such couples and I see how the woman behaves there and it's just the way you have described above. One thing to add is , in those cases the abuser doesn't care of what impact it has on the abused and the relationship is very one sided in discussing about the problems. The victim in such cases fears showing mirror to the perpetrator of the abuse .

However , I do beg to differ in case of Rohit and Sonakshi relationship . They are not that couple , atleast not yet and I don't see them yet , becoming one such couple.

Rohit has ego, quick temper and an unfiltered motor mouth under stressful situations , agreed . But he isn't an MCP , he is approachable for communication , CAN handle criticism and knows to correct his actions.

Sona is no damsel in distress . She is affectionate , understanding and not demanding , but knows to draw a line when needed. She is not the " on you face " confrontation type of a person when she is hurt by others , has a bit more patience to people's "nakhre " than we might appreciate but is definitely not a door mat and for sure doesn't live for Rohit's appreciation.

As long as they both have these individual traits in place and love and respect for each other and communicate the way they have been doing , they will come over each other's emotional outbursts or the lack of it successfully too . And will not let themselves become a shell of what they were.

Your post has hit a chord TM , knowing such couples around me .. it has unearthed some very disturbing thoughts and feelings. It's hell to be in such relationships in real life .

Of course yaar, he is that guy...very much. This is the so called alpha hero that emerged after IPKKND except Ekta would never be caught copying another hero so she made sickand invent Raman in YHM - who was basically a man that was bitter and angry all the time until Ishita came into his life. To keep that story going, it was love 2 episodes and 15 episodes of his anger and then slowly the woman who started by standing for herself became mahaan becos she bore everything . In KHKT it started off with a man who is angry (with father) sad and heartbroken (cos of Raima) and this extra serious layer of surgeon that looks down on TV - they almost have killed the last part of the character, becos he now acts like a TV Hero only with believing in coin toss, close your eyes and see the first person you love...so they are left with that same anger ...

2 steps of love and 15 steps of anger... that’s how they will keep the characters moving and then occasional separation becos woman after being treated like shit for 130 episodes will leave house

Basically we never show the man really accept his basic flaw and the woman loves no matter what.

Same rinse repeat

IRL there are couples like this becos society has made it ok for such behavior. If we don’t nip it when it happens the first time it escalates real fast. There is no such thing as the poster says “they are not YET that couple”... they are that couple ... when the honeymoon is over we are all stripped to our base personalities

Originally posted by: Bana

The forum is gushing over cute bumbling Rohit - so what if he had said those hurtful things on phone to Sona? He was angry with himself & guilty & grieving & going thru an emotional transition, natural for him to take it out on someone close. It happens.

But we are underestimating the hurt caused by harsh words said in hasty anger. If it happens again & again it can wear down the self-esteem of the victim & make her insecure. It has happened thrice here (accusingly asking how they got the watch, fashion show fiasco, raima bday).

It doesn’t matter that he didn’t mean them. They still hurt at the time. The victim starts fearing the angry words said in haste & shielding herself from the hurt by walking on eggshells around the man so as to not agitate him. She is eventually reduced to a shadow of herself.

It is a commonly observed pattern among couples where the man takes out his stress by scolding (or to stretch the same logic, beating) the wife. The wife becomes a quiet pleaser.

I think the forum gushes about rohit and gives him brickbats in equal measures. Most of us have seen a gradual progression in rohit's character . That's why it hurts us when he acts like a f×$#boi, especially when it comes to sona. You and other people who have posted before me are absolutely right. But I feel that the writers have shaped Sonakshi as a ITV heroine who has a better grasp over her heart and life when compared with other famous leading lady characters.

For Sonakshi, it will be double the pain and anguish, since its second time round.

People like this angry yelling hero who keeps treating women like shit. The CVs better improve Rohit's characterization. I see no regret in him after he misbehaves with Sonakshi.

People lap up such stuff, case in point the very very problematic Kabir Singh becoming such a hit. Sikand better get his act together.

Originally posted by: togepe30

People like this angry yelling hero who keeps treating women like shit. The CVs better improve Rohit's characterization. I see no regret in him after he misbehaves with Sonakshi.

People lap up such stuff, case in point the very very problematic Kabir Singh becoming such a hit. Sikand better get his act together.

My brother is in active army and he had come on leave and heard so much about the movie and took Bhabhi to go and watch..he was shocked. He was so angry at the movie and kept telling me ladkiyan kab se aisae ladke pasand kar rahi hai? My bhabhi was asking him ismei ladkiyon ka kya dosh, he said jab tak ladkiyan aise insaan ko hero banayegi tab tak dosh dono tarfa hai

Originally posted by: columbia

My brother is in active army and he had come on leave and heard so much about the movie and took Bhabhi to go and watch..he was shocked. He was so angry at the movie and kept telling me ladkiyan kab se aisae ladke pasand kar rahi hai? My bhabhi was asking him ismei ladkiyon ka kya dosh, he said jab tak ladkiyan aise insaan ko hero banayegi tab tak dosh dono tarfa hai

I dont get it. How can ppl like such guys. And Shahid is walking around saying shit and defending the film. And his wife is talking abt women empowerment, btw he said she convinced him to sign the film.

I just detest this couple. Mad both of them.

I dont get ppl who defend the film saying its just cinema. Its problematic on so many levels. This chalta hai attitude will be the death of human race.

I think shahid is saying shit becos somewhere he realizes that the movie is very problematic. I know a girl who is in a such a relationship it is more common than you think. Becos everyone finds excuses for bad behavior in the name of love. Arrey so many are doing it here only for a fictional character toh real life socho

Completely agree. People don't recognize how toxic these kinds of behaviours are and how it perpetuates in real life.

So far I feel this is becoming a narcissist abusive relationships. Rohit is classic example of a narcissist where he will put someone up when it benefits his ego and puts someone down when it benefits his ego. He can't accept his flaws or mistakes hence lashing out at Sona for him forgetting the birthday.

And frankly Sona is starting to become a shell of herself in order to appease him and gain love from him. But her line of "mein Itna toh kar hi sakti hoon, tumhare pyar ke liya" is very telling. Its someone who inherently doesn't believe she deserves love and thinks she needs to do things for others. A lot of it may stem from her abusive relationship with her mother but the writers need to not romanticize it.