NOVEL~*Hiding behind a Stranger*~Thread 17-CHAPTER 22-UPD 3rd DEC - Page 120

Originally posted by: sweet_diksha

yes.. almost😃

Originally posted by: durgeshnandini

Badhai ho to all the diligent thread spammers 😉

Lashy di , new home for the Banjaras and Baisas, please! 😛

Originally posted by: lashy

Apaaa

So my sense of Geography aint so bad then...😆

Canada... hmmm how come we never discussed that!🤔

Content to stay there... ok shall try 😆

Originally posted by: sashashyam

Here I am.. with my response to your beautiful review... I can imagine how much effort and energy it would have taken on your part for this...

so a special hug 🤗

Chapters 20-22: Cruel dilemmas: Part 1

Lashykanna,

I have ended up doing another triptych very largely due to the temptation that affects most readers of thrillers: the urge to know what happens next! In my case, before trying to assess what had already happened.

After No. 20, I was hung up on first finding out what was that one of the most heart-thawing spectacles he'd seen. After No.21, it was of course in anticipation of the Da Vinci Code moment, as our hero (yes, he is still one, even if a tad battered in my esteem!😉)

Loool 😆

zeroed in on the only place they hadn't searched yet - the Hallways!

Hope the anticipation and wait was worth it...😳

Luckily for me, No.22 had a less tantalizing conclusion, seemingly concerned only with mutton gravy. Of course, you being you, it will not be so simple as that, and anything can happen, bar the farman falling into the gravy😉. But I have now disciplined myself, and I am not going to wait to see the gravy-coated goings on that will undoubtedly surface in No.23. So here goes!

Loool worry not Periyamma... the gravy plays no further role in this story... so this take could not have come at a better break between chapters!😆

The magic of words: I shall begin in an odd fashion, by flagging the lines in these three episodes that truly enchanted me. I love words for their own sake, and if their meaning is as beautiful as they are, why then it is sone pe suhaaga! When I come across an especially striking passage, where the words stand out by themselves, and are further embellished by their content, I stop and read them again and again. I shall now invite my readers, and yours, to do the same now. I do not want to wait and flag them as part of the analysis; they deserve to be showcased properly!

That is very encouraging 😳

Chapter 20:

Not only did the wind that swept over endless sheets of glistening greens bring the village welcome relief from the heat - it brought with it the aroma of damp earth and the fragrance of flowers too. It brought with it the rhythm of a distant water well, and sometimes, the melody of a pair of cuckoo birds too. Only in the cradle of a green unspoilt valley could a phenomenon like this be experienced.

One can practically smell the wet earth, one can practically feel the still warmth of the afternoon sun, leavened by the sounds and scents from afar. 👏This passage needed a painting, Lashykanna, and if I was clever enough in such things, I would have found one for you!

Thank you ☺️

He was beginning to realise that there was something he hadn't left behind - 'memories'. Memories of her. Memories of them. Memories that he seemed to carry with him, wherever he went... It was as though his heart had also joined forces with twisted fate, and had turned into an uncontrollable rebel of sorts - wanting what it could not have...

'She is not here... and everything feels so empty and lost'... Pushing down the emotions that'd parched his throat..

Well, Akbar deserves all this, but I am not going down that road any more! 😉What I loved here is the way in which you have managed to convey acute heartache without becoming maudlin. And yes, deep hurt does make the throat get constricted, parched, as if one could not swallow for the pain...

Thank you again! He is a grieving man - that's for sure... grieving for many-a- loss in his life...

But on a good day, she could command a hall full of subordinates with remarkable ease and efficiency..

A delightful, throwaway line that conjures up an image at once very funny and very telling.

Awww

Chapter 21:

It took that newly-orphaned child months to accept the fact that the very person for whose sake he used to smile through anguish and pain, had given up on him. That the one he loved most - more than he'd even loved abbu - had willingly left him, her own son, because she'd had enough... But nothing could bring back the cheerful child who'd died then. Nothing could bring back the smiles that'd perished forever, when the boy had finally learnt that he must stop calling out for 'ammijaan'... Here stood a bitter young man in his place today.

This is not a high flowing, lovely passage, it is a collection of simple, matter of fact words recited without any bravura flourishes. But my heart turned over when I read it, for there is nothing so cruel, so hurtful, as the pain of being abandoned by the person most loved and most trusted. The sting here is in newly-orphaned, and in the cheerful child who'd died then.

Truly marvellous writing, and with this, one understands, with blinding clarity, that it was not Dickensian ill treatment that made the little Akbar so bitter and so lonely. It was this, the ultimate betrayal by his mother.

You need to be applauded, Lashykanna, for abandoning the cast in iron template of self-sacrificing maternal love, and showing this exception to the rule in all her selfishness and cruelty.

Thank you Periyamma... many are still wondering if there is some major plot behind his missing mother (and despite me telling them otherwise refuse to believe so😆) but it is just that. Basic selfishness and cruelty... she almost reminded me of the likes of Nur Jahan... born in a lower middle class family... moves up and up the ladder, not worrying about how many she is stepping on to achieve a bigger life (in this case, of comfort!)

The abuse meted by the relatives would have drawn scratches on his heart... but what his mother did was poking a hot iron rod right through!

And she is the reason he developed an aversion to the high-life... he has seen how money/power corrupts people and has preferred staying away...

How well it fit that at this stage in life, he met a mentor who shared the same principles - for the Shehzaade is a big believer of leading the 'simple' life too!

In all of this tragedy and betrayal by the woman/women, one thing is that the 3 role models he's had in his life are good men (well, almost good) - first his abbu, then chacha jaan and the Shehzaade... Yes, Akbar is inherently of noble-nature... but it was also due to the influence of these three men that he's stayed on the right path (more or less). Had there been evil forces tapping into his anger at that vulnerable time in his life, it could have lured him into turning into the likes of a hardcore villain!

It was one of most sophisticated chambers in this mansion - and yet there was a certain warmth about the elements in it, almost like it was the hearth of the haveli. All throughout this empty mansion were the invisible footprints that the Sahiba had left behind in some form or another. But no place were those imprints more noticeable than it was in here.

This was HER personal chamber.

It needs a lover to see signs of the beloved where common folk might see nothing but handsome furniture and a gorgeous view. To perceive the ghostly prints of her feet, to practically hear the gentle tinkling of her payal. To look at a grand room, and see it as the hearth of the haveli just because, and he senses it instinctively, it was hers.

Awww yes, it does!😳

His glare was hard, but those eyes were also partly glazed-over by tints of grey, as though he was distracted. As though his mind was revisiting many different dark thoughts at the same time.

Lovely stuff. One can imagine this look, even if, in the event to your tale making it to the screen, big or small, the director would have to superimpose contact lenses on Akbar's dark, smouldering eyes!😉

Loool it was only for the 'mind' to picture Periyamma... but am glad you liked this one...

If he let his other side speak - the emotional side - the voices of his rumbling ego roared far more strongly. So strongly that he was beginning to dislike a man he'd never met. Beginning to dislike even the sound of his name. After all, this was the first rival in front of whom Akbar Mahmoud Khan had to bow out - by surrendering something extremely precious. After all, this was the man who could probably give her everything that he could not!

Then again, that was how life was, wasn't it? Brutal!...Closing his eyes for a prolonged moment as he swallowed a very bitter pill...

Splendid, and it needs nothing from me to underline how concise and how telling this passage is. Not artistic, no, and there is no flowing, gorgeous prose, but it conveys what it seeks to convey, the inarticulate raging of a totally new feeling, jealousy.

Yes the man is learning of jealousy for the first time in his life😉

Chapter 22:

.. his features blanketed by a thin sheath of amazement.

I have never come across this one before in all my reading, and I loved it.

Thank you Periyamma 🤗

The whole sequence where Akbar struggles with himself in front of Heera's portrait is exquisite in its muted desperation, but this is the best of a marvellous passage of which you can be rightly proud, Lashykanna.👏👏

The only difference was that he hadn't been in his senses then, but he was in his senses now - well aware of what he was doing. Well aware of the invisible hold she had on him. A 'hold' from which his resolve to break free was weakening further with every passing day.

If I had been there, I would have apostrophized Akbar thus: Yes, buster, you have got that now, at long last, have you? Well, am I glad!!

Paavam 😆

What follows is a blow to his solar plexus: 'So you admit you miss my presence in your life, Khan Sahib?' she seemed to giggle at his predicament 'Then, why are you letting me go... why are you letting me get married to another man?' the imaginary giggles then faltered, into a nervous sigh 'Why are you betraying me to your Shehzaade?'

And for once, I could find it in me to feel sorry, just a teeny weeny bit, but still sorry for Akbar, stuck hard in the cleft of a cruel dilemma.

I shall bask in this feeling...

Suddenly, the document did not feel so thin and flimsy anymore. It felt heavy. Uncomfortably heavy, in fact - so much so that he couldn't wait to unburden himself off it.

It should be of it, but never mind. What a perfect line, Lashykanna! There is nothing in life so heavy as the burden of guilt. And what follows, 'A proud moment?' Somehow, he wasn't sure this was an achievement he was going to be proud of, ties in accurately with this.

Yes, I need to understand the grammar 'of' vs 'off' better... like getting rid of vs washing hands off...

I have changed it in the original prose though ... 😊

No wonder that Azeez, used to reading his master's moods in his face and his eyes, is tense and nervous.

Unless of course, the alternative was true and Ustaad really wasn't content. If that was the case, it meant, the man was beginning to experience something he'd never experienced in the face of duty before - a moral dilemma. It meant, Khan Sahib was having second thoughts about this assignment! ...

For Azeez knows, as well as Akbar does, the price that even a hint of divided loyalty would extract from the master he adores.

Yes

Finally, an intensely moving, if understated passage about a hope cruelly dashed by the unfeeling hand of fate, when Pappu passes away . Passes away before Akbar can make his eyes light up one last time, as he had so much wanted to do, if only to assuage the gathering cloud of guilt about the farmaan that is beginning to darken his mind and heart.

Gosh! The underlined... how beautifully put...

And he might not openly admit it, but somewhere deep down, he was looking forward to see the smile it might bring on his face. At least that way, Akbar hoped he could realise a sense of achievement today. Something that would possibly lighten the stony feeling in his heavy heart. ...

But, had he made an exception that morning and visited Pappu first, he would not have lost the opportunity to make a child happy. He would not feel like he had betrayed the trust of a child - a feeling he could really do without at this stage. And to think of it, all that child had wanted, was to spend a few moments with him.

Nevertheless, if he could help it, he wouldn't repeat that mistake again.

This again is a passage written simply, without frills and flourishes, but it hits home unerringly. For this is not about Pappu alone, for all that the guilt of having let down a child with no possibility of redeeming his lapse is its central theme. Nor is it really, though it might seem to be so,about Akbar seeking to give another child, Azeez, a treat to make up for what he had denied the dying Pappu.

For at the heart of the matter lies the farmaan, and the pain and the crushing guilt of a betrayal that lies ahead. A betrayal that Akbar does not see how he can avoid.

Yes it does... that's why the He would not feel like he had betrayed the trust of a child - a feeling he could really do without at this stage 😭

But you can see that, can't you, you little witch?

Loool I can and it scares me 😲

Lashykanna, I am now in the midst of the second recurrence of my cold, and my head feels like a football filled with water (kindly refrain from asking me how I know what that feels like!😉).

Hope you're feeling better Periyamma... 🤗

Chapters 20-22: Cruel dilemmas: Part 2

Where could I possibly begin this part except with that corker of a scene between Khalil and the Shehzaade? It is a minor piece de resistance, complete in itself, and not to be compared with its extended version, the splendid duel of words between the Shehzaade and the Ustaad that had quite simply bowled me over when I read it for the first time.

Oh wow... you almost liked it as much as the Ustaad revelation scene? I am surprised... but, pleasantly! 😳

Khalil: Subtle malice: This one stands on its own merits, and for one thing, it effectively disposes of the general assessment of Khalil as a brute without brains. He has plenty of them, or at least of a kind of native cunning, and a deep knowledge of the way his master's mind works. Whence the silken cleverness with which he inserts his little poisoned barbs under the prince's skin, when they will fester the most.

I have always maintained that Khalil is not merely a brute.. for, if he was one, he could not have risen the ranks to be the Shehzaade's right-handed man... he would just be a muscle man... the Shehzaade is a mastermind and he knows who is intelligent and who is not... and while Khalil may not be as intelligent as the Ustaad or as sly as Mahendar... he is evilly crafty too! It is just that his role in the story so far has been limited to the kind of scenes where it shows him after a grave mistake he committed... and hence, at a lower point in his life... but otherwise, he is not a fool!😊

Just look at this one:

'Instantly?' he asked in due time, having carefully weighed his words so as to make up for lost ground 'But Huzoor, it has been 3 weeks since Ustaad took over this mission... and that man has not found the Farmaan yet...

There is no accusation, no sarcasm, no attempt to downgrade the Ustaad. Simply a statement of fact that even the Shehzaade cannot deny.

Because he is not at a position to make an accusation of any sort... he has fallen into disfavour and has to make up for it... a step at a time!

Then again, a moment later, after the prince's temper has flared and then come down again in a calculated show of domination,

'you wanted this assignment wrapped up as quickly as possible... which is why the task was handed over to your Chief Intelligence Officer... of course...' he began gradually rubbing his jaw 'Ustaad is generally never late... but, in this case...'

Khalil of course does not know about the earlier exchanges between the Shehzaade and the Ustaad, where the prince had, for the first time, scented a whiff of something being not quite right with his blue-eyed boy. But the arrow he shoots at random here does find its mark, and though he does not quite understand why this is so, he is quick to take advantage of the opportunity with a barbed follow up remark:

I actually had a smile on my face as I read this.. what a beautiful analogy👏

'This delay could cost us a lot...if someone produces the Farmaan in court... in front of the Shehenshah... all our plans will be ruined..

And Khalil manages, almost against the Shehzaade's will, to pin the Ustaad down to a two day deadline for proving himself. He is a brute, yes, but no one can now say that he is clumsy or stupid.

Again... amazing description!👏

Warmth & wisdom: The little scene between the delightful Maharani of Bansi and Heera is charming in the abundant maternal warmth and affection it exudes.

Having had those kinds of oil massages from my grandmother, followed by the washing of the hair, and then drying it on a cane basket under which was placed an incense burner, the scented smoke from which eddied up thru the gaps in the cane weave and thru the drying hair, I know exactly how wonderfully soothing the whole exercise can be!

Oh my God... that was so beautiful to even read... and now, I'm imagining you like that..

The Maharani is as wise as she is candid, and her warning to Heera not to write to fellow Rajput royals for help is not just well meant, it is astute. It is interesting, and revealing, that she seems to have given similar advice to Durga as well in the past.

Her advice is basically to be the typical Rajput noblewoman... to accept the hand dealt by fate, and marry the first eligible man who comes her way... to douse all those fiery fighting spirits, even if it means losing Parnagarh to the Shehzaade... something that both sisters aren't able to follow... secretly though, I'm sure kakisa adores them for the way they are... bold, brave and stubborn... 😆😳

But Heera is too far gone to heed such warnings, and in any case, the thunderbolt that hits her immediately after this exchange drives everything else out of her mind. JIJASA???

Anxious arrogance :The brief meeting between the haughty Maharani of Manswar and Heera, with the Maharani of Bansi hovering on the sidelines like an anxious brood hen😉, is most entertaining.

Loool ... a brood hen... 😆

One can practically see the Maharani of Manswar trying to make the best of this bad deal that her stubborn son has foisted on his parents, even while keeping her end up with unpleasant, probing questions. I was irresistibly reminded of Lady Catherine de Bourgh interviewing Elizabeth in one of the last chapters of Pride and Prejudice, of course in considerably different circumstances!😉

Oh thank you Periyamma... Lashy makes a mental note of looking up Lady Catherine de Bourgh🤓

However, to be fair to the Maharani of Manswar, she is not being superstitious in enquiring about the nature of the problem with Heera's eyesight, not at all. It would be perfectly natural for her to worry about the kind of defect Heera now suffers from being a hereditary one. In fact, though this is not the issue here, eyesight problems like myopia are very often hereditary, and in an arranged marriage even today, this kind of question is bound to be asked.

Oh yes... no doubt about it... only that, Heera is pretty certain that the queen is aware that what she suffered from was the result of an accident... and thus, she could sense that the question was more to 'test' Heera's reactions than for anything else!

Devious betrayal: The two segments of the Heera-Mahendar interaction, or more precisely confrontation, have come out very well, Lashykanna. I was impressed by the kind of native shrewdness in Heera, an inner instinct, that manages to ferret out what precisely is the driving motive behind Mahendar's eagerness to marry her.

Grief and emotions are weighing her down... but she is a shrewd girl!

For his devious villainy is not at all clear on the surface, the reason he advances, of protecting her most effectively thru this marriage, is very plausible, and to top it all, he is an accomplished actor. Besides, this kind of arranged marriage, with the younger sister when the elder one dies, is common even these days, witness Hum aapke hain kaun? , and in this specific case, the danger to Heera is ever present and very great.

Yes...

So if Heera were to advance this reason - that it is all a plot of Mahendar's to grab Parnagarh - in order to cancel the marriage, no one would accept it, beginning with her godparents. Especially since, compared with the wealth and prominence of Manswar, Parnagarh would, at first sight, be hardly an impressive acquisition. The iron ore-cum-Shehzaade angle would sound even more bizarre to them.

Exactly...

This apart, in these two passages, I was far more impressed with your sketch of Mahendar than with anything else. I could practically see the frustration and rage rising in him as his very carefully laid plans are close to being foiled by the incomprehensible obstinacy - as it must seem to him - of a 16 year old. I looked on, in deep appreciation of your artistry, as Mahendar's mask of gentlemanly concern and patient protectiveness comes off, layer by layer, as Heera's mulish resistance to this marriage surfaces unambiguously.

What an eloquent line Periyamma... and hit the bulls-eye, by stating in 1 line what I was trying to achieve over 2 scenes...👏

In fact, I was reminded of Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Grey, where all of Dorian Grey's sins and wickedness appear in his face in the portrait, while he himself continues to look pure and unblemished. It is only at the end, when he dies, that the face in the portrait, by now horrible to behold under the accumulated layers of sin, is suddenly switched back to that of the corpse. Here, things move faster, for Mahendar is very much among the living, and yet, for Heera, the evil in his heart is clearly visible on the very handsome face of this Adonis on steroids.

Mahendar as he appears to Heera now

In the end, while I could understand Heera's desperation in the face of the cruel dilemma that looms ahead of her, I found it odd that she is angry at the way he (Mahendar)was bullying her.If she is sure of her reading on his character and his motives, what else did she expect?

What it meant was that it is all still shocking to her... we tend to do a double, sometimes a triple-take when we come across this kind of deception... and that is what Heera is undergoing! She can see through him now, but she sees and sees again to make sure what she's seen is right...

and by being angry with the 'way' meant she angry with the tactics he was using to pin her to a corner - a new kind of deception again - the blow-hot blow-cold routine... first empathy & concern, then intimidation, sometimes using his manliness to browbeat her to the extent that it is lewd (and quite scary for a 16 year old), and then backing off like a gentleman, reflecting a surface of calmness...

One odd point: how does Heera know what precisely Mahendar told her godfather when this marriage proposal was first advanced by Maharaj Chittaranjan? From her godfather himself? But why would he have told her this, since it betrays a (feigned) reluctance on Mahendar's part to marry Heera, something which would hardly be expected to make the idea palatable to Heera?

Because Heera would've obviously asked them (when arguing in her favour) that 'jijasa would never agree to this.. he is devoted in his love to jiji... it is not fair to him either...'

To which, kakasa would have made the point that 'Mahendar was so noble... so noble that despite his reluctance to get married, he was going through this marriage, sacrificing his own wishes for the sake of Parnagarh and for Heera's safety'

Which would automatically burden Heera to accept this wedding even more - when HE can undergo this sacrifice, why can't she?

Instant inspiration: I loved the sudden flight of imagination, for that is what it really is, that enables Akbar to solve the puzzle of the rhyme, and thus finally locate the precious farmaan.

It was like the scenes in A Beautiful Mind, where the genius of mathematician John Nash enables him to instantly see connections and configurations in large groups of numbers that no one else can see.

Oh yes... finally a referential picture of Periyamma's that I instantly know and do not have to refer to Mr. Google for! 😃

Thank you😳

Sentiment, not sentimentality: The bond between the frail, dying Pappu and the strapping young giant Akbar is a one that turns one's heart inside out in empathy. It has been beautifully brought out - the reason for it as also its consequences - in touching words that are blessedly free of the least mawkish sentiment.

I was also impressed by Akbar's reaction to the sense of guilt that sweeps over him when he learns that Pappu died while waiting in vain for him to keep his promise to visit the boy that evening. He does not weep, nor does he accuse himself for having failed the dying child. Instead, he seeks to make up for his failure to please Pappu by trying to please someone else who is also emotionally dependent on him, Azeez.

A very fresh and imaginative approach, and one which I am sure , since I know you well😉, will lead to unforeseen consequences!

Yes... he is a practical man... he feels very bad for Pappu... but he knows it was not a deliberately malicious attempt on his part to ignore the kid, he did plan to meet him later... only later ended up in never...😕

so, he moved on in a way he knows how to do best...

I am so happy you liked that part... the emotions in that entire scene (and all of those surrounding Pappu) were deliberately understated... am so glad you were able to pick up on them and admire them for what they were 🤗

Once again, thank you so much for this 🤗

Originally posted by: karkuzhali

Good Morning friends! Have a delicious South Indian Breakfast!

Originally posted by: karkuzhali

Good Morning friends! Have a delicious South Indian Breakfast!

Good morning dear sachu Patti 😃 this one is superb. Hats off to your creativity .👏