NOVEL~*Hiding behind a Stranger*~Thread 10 - Chapter 15 - UPD 11th SEP - Page 13

Originally posted by: karkuzhali

<font face="Comic Sans MS, Times, serif" size="3"> "Congrats! You have twins!!.."</font>

<font face="Comic Sans MS, Times, serif" size="3">"Twins??"</font>

<font face="Comic Sans MS, Times, serif" size="3"> "Yes..come as a package..with Shyamala's review...!"</font>

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😆

Originally posted by: divyavm

Writer-e-khaas,

A game of cards ... was not only what the Shehzaade and Ustaad were playing, it was what you were playing with us my writer-e-khaas and what a hand you revealed today. From my perspective, a writer playing mind games with the reader is a good thing ... after all it sharpens all of us, like how the Shehzaade made all his men play cards to sharpen theirs.

I felt the narrative style itself reflected the story and how the reader experienced the content and that is a hunar in itself ... a game of cards and the amazing hand that was revealed. A full house, sweep- at least swept me off in surprise. And there goes my take ...

1. The card game was set ... between the two most elusive minds of our story ... Shehzaade and Ustaad. From Chapter 8, we had no idea what they had planned for Harka after Khalil was banished to Kabul. But planned they had something indeed. And just as Shehzaade and Ustaad were trying to understand the cards in front of them, you started revealing the cards in front of us ...

2. 'I am blind... actually, partially blind!'

A sneak peak of the first card. Wait, what ... that was revealed by Harka to only one person ... oh no, it could not be!

At that moment you shifted to Mahendar, maybe trying to distract us like Shehzaade tried to distract Ustaad by talking about the Northen tribes ... But, I could care less about Mahender at that moment ... I came back to him later.

'Most days, are good... and I can use my sight to get by... on those days that are bad, I use my senses to get by...'

And in your sheer literary genius, that one moment revealed the truth ... Our Akbar was Ustaad.

3. With the conversation that unfolded everything slowly fell into place ... Akbar was not only Ustaad but the spy as well ...

- The Ustaad - was experienced, a mentor, retired, and respected - not because he was old but because he was held in high regard by Shehzaade (your choice of words was perfect to give the image of an older man)
- The gruff voice that had guided an entourage to Aidabad, was not because it was the closest, but by another design
- The swordsmanship that held every opponent at bay and didn't miss a mark, was the same skilled hands that created Harka's ladder to help her out of the water
- The sharp eyes that followed Harka's every move, was not only out of admiration, but to spy on that every move
- Chota Faijan was not killed by an enemy unknown to us ... in fact it was the same as Harka's enemy- Khalil. It was for a very different reason though- Akbar and his spy were attacked due to a rivalry and animosity to get to the farmaan and stop Akbar from finding out who had helped Khalil in his attempt to get the Farmaan from Durga

By the time the Shehzaade called out his name- 'Ustad Akbar Mahmoud Khan!' No doubt remained in our minds. But by then, we were just as shaken by the revelation as Akbar was from his thoughts.

4. And if that was not enough, everyone was playing their own hand in this game,

- Khalil for dominance and to win back the Shehzaade's favor
- Mahendar to win power in the court with the farmaan and Parnagarh

And perhaps, Shehzaade was playing the biggest game of all,

- He had observed Ustaad's different demeanor when it came to his latest case ... and he had his own ways of finding what was happening (I wonder who his spy will be)
- While he enjoyed what the rivalry between Khalil and Ustaad meant to his power, he still claimed to be on Ustaad's side as he sang his praises (let's see how long that lasts)
- And he knew how to hit Akbar where he was raw, bringing back memories of his childhood and how Shehzaade had seen his potential and lifted him to a position of power

And just as the Shehzaade felt he had won, a few differences in the design of the cards, tilted the game to Akbar's favor ... I am assuming this will be the case not only for their game of cards but the game of their lives as well.

5. And that is why Akbar is our trump card and still will be. What is unknown about him is what truly his heart feels ...

- What made him silent on her beauty
- What made him silent about her eyesight
- What made him silent about the plans outlined in her scrolls

and upon his return to Aidabad

- What made him drawn to the appealing sight of Sahiba playing with Bahadur
- What was the slight sound of relief when he asked Ibrahm why Sahiba and entourage had not left yet (and Ibrahim looks to be equally sharp in noticing this ... and this could be a problem ...)

Likely Akbar doesn't fully understand the answer to all those questions.

What will truly emerge from Akbar's heart is the trump card that will change the shape of this entire game. Shehzaade had called Akbar a Protector and that is what he will be to Harka, at least in the near term.

Maybe I found it symbolic- how Bahadur stayed firmly on Heera's side even as Akbar called to him and despite a loyalty of three years ... it seems to reflect how Akbar will shift further towards her as well despite his loyalties to the Shehzaade.

And what to say for Harka, her giggles did not realize that whose presence she felt brought life back to Aidabad was actually bringing back Shehzaade's spy against her and her homeland. But for now, Aidabad is the best place for her- safe from Khalil and Mahendar.

Writer-e-khaas, I was never good at cards, so I hope I did justice to your chapter ... and feel free to call out any errors. But what wonderful writing ... played a game with me every second of the way and I loved it!

what a review
your take five is always superb

Originally posted by: sashashyam

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Chapter 15: A coup de maitre!!



Lashykanna,



Did I not say that you were a little witch? So now you have proved it
anew, with a shocker of a twist that is beyond anything my
imagination could have thought of. Or anyone else's here, I would imagine. Oh,
what an unfair advantage the author enjoys!


She can turn anything on its head any time she chooses.



But to be fair to you. my pet, you have not turned anything on its head. You
have simply shaken the kaleidoscope, and the whole pattern has changed, though
the pieces are the same. There is not the slightest cheating, for there
were no misleading passages at all. In fact, there was actually very
little that dealt directly with Akbar and his mission, so there was
nothing that could be exasperatedly labelled a red herring or red
herrings by those of your readers who can look beyond the Akbar-Heera
angle to affairs of state and political intrigues.



Now I shall have to go back to that chapter about the European weapons and
re-read that passage of arms between the Ustaad and Khalil, with the Shehzaade
as the audience and the exasperated referee. But even before I do that, I am
sure there were no telltale hints there, nothing like the cigarette ash-
footprints kind of clues that Sandhya had collected re: Mahendar.



It was all fair and square, only so ingeniously, devilishly
clever. Truly a coup de maitre, a masterstroke. Something worthy of the
specialists of spy fiction genre, Le Carre for choice, for in
his smoke and mirrors world, no one and nothing is what he or it seems to be.



Lashykanna, for that, you get as many standing ovations and curtain calls as
Rudolf Nureyev and Margot Fonteyn did for their iconic Romeo and Juliet ballet<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">!</font>
That was a record number, 27, if my memory does not fail me. I cannot even
begin to tell you how delighted I am with you, child<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">!</font> Delighted, and proud too.



I was in fact surprised that you opened up your cards - not ganjifa cards!😉
- so soon, but then I realised that without your doing so, the terrible
dilemmas that are going to confront Akbar could hardly have been raised and
discussed at all.



But what a wicked little wretch you are, my pet! When I read the
passage below, and came to the last line, my brain just froze as the true
implication of that last little sentence
sank in.

ANY
thoughts on her? Well, he had plenty. Plenty of news and updates too that he
could convey if he wanted to, as part of idle talk. After all, he'd stumbled
across quite a few small facts about her over the past two weeks, which they
hadn't known about at the start...

'I
am blind... actually, partially blind!'

Marvellous,
mischievous, but NOT misleading. 👏👏👏

But
then you left me dangling, with deliberate, maddening cunning,
while you went on and on about that stupidly treacherous Mahendar. If he
actually thought that Khalil would have even tried to persuade the Shehzaade to
go halves with him, Mahendar, from the revenues from the iron ore mines,
he must be a fool or worse. Even Tej Raj is smarter. Enough of him; I do not
want to wear my fingers out on such
creatures. 😡

The
whole session between the Shehzaade and Akbar needs a separate post in itself.
It is so beautifully scripted, like
a close fought game of chess, not ganjifa, without a single false
note, psychological or mental, that I
was moved to <font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">abundant </font>admiration.

<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">Plus </font>it is written even more beautifully, as the Shehzaade and the Ustaad both vie
for the mental edge over the other - the former at times overtly, at times
covertly, the latter diplomatically masking his advantage in the passage of arms, for that is what it really
is, with a deliberate show of humility
and loyalty. Lashykanna, you have hidden depths, and each time I check, the
depth is only greater!

Now
as the knife edge on which Akbar is walking has become all too clear - and who
could have guessed that it would be so
murderously dangerous? - I can see that
my heart is, from now on, going to be more often than not in my mouth, ever on
the lookout for the slightest misstep on his part that might prove fatal. No wonder Akbar 2
was so vociferous as he ranted at Akbar 1 the other night.

And
Akbar 2 was not far wrong either, for
the stakes are too high, and the
consequences of what would be
seen by the Shehzaade as betrayal by
Akbar would be horrendous. Already, when
Akbar, almost involuntarily, hides from his master the information about Heera's letters seeking support from fellow Rajput
aristocrats and royals, he has taken a
long stride closer to the edge of the precipice.

But
then, as the French, who are so wise in matters of the heart, say, Le coeur as ses raisons que la raison ne
connait pas. The heart has its reasons, of which the mind has no knowledge.
(It reads better in the original, because
of the punning on raison,
which can mean reason' and good sense' or intelligence' as well).

Lashykanna,
it is very late, 1:11 am to be precise, and I am very tired. I have never
before commented on any of your chapters as soon as it came out, all hot and steaming, from the
oven, so to speak. But this time, it was different. I loved this one so much more
than anything that had gone before, especially because its real triumph lies in
what could be called the non-romance department, that I just had to do this take straightaway.

I
loved the latter part as well, and normally I would have been delighted with my favourite Heera's
<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">conquest </font>of my other favourite, Bahadur. Moreover, after the dizzying revelations and
the coiled tensions of Part 1, the
change of tone in Part 2 was perhaps necessary. But the impact of the earlier part
lingers, and so the Akbar-Heera segment did not, for once, charm me as much as usual.

That,
my pet, is not a failing on your part.
It is in fact a major compliment to you for your coup de
matre in Part 1.

Shyamala
Periyamma

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⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

What an absolute masterstroke! 👏 What a revelation! 👏 What else can be expected of a writer extraordinaire ? My head was swirling when he recalled the exact words that Harka had uttered to Akbar - how could that be, how did he know - and THEN the bombshell! My eyeballs almost popped out and my mind went blank - THE Ustaad was The Akbar Mahmoud Khan. !!!!!!

Following your advice obediently ,I did not read the comments before reading the chapter - thanks for the alert for it had the effect you desired on the reader when you dealt the knockout blow! Such a devil you are!!!😆😆

When you had asked me what I might expect in Chapter 15 - nothing I thought of could have surpassed this astounding and unexpected punch. Triple WOW for this ! 👍🏼The teaser picture that you posted for this chapter should have given us an inkling of it - the formidable and majestic pose was a reflection of how mighty our hero actually is! But who am I kidding- how can we , the mere mortals that we are - dare to even think the unthinkable of outfoxing the master storyteller?

So our Harka Sahiba is in the lion's den- with the lion safeguarding her welfare .

You are so bad my dear for giving me two assignments through this chapter. First, I have to do my homework and re-read the story from the very beginning as the plot becomes clearer now and I simply have to lap up all the delectable information I can get regarding our enigmatic protagonist who had remained hitherto unknown. Second, I have to do research on the forms / gestures of respect /salute that one bestows on a person. For Chapter 14, I offered an adab. For this chapter, with my hand on my heart and head bowed ( the Malaysian way ), I salute you. With Chapter 15, we are only into the first quarter of our spellbinding journey with you. So I have to stock up on the various forms of salute to be offered to you following each update.

Your humble request to the readers to leave a line after reading the chapter - did you even think of the consequences before making such a request? Even without your reminder, each update is inundated with readers'posts, pictures and whatnot which surpass 100 pages. With this sweet request, be prepared to be buried under the avalanche of posts - YOU ASKED FOR IT ! 🤗

P.S. I am posting this before reading the comments of the other readers. Will catch up this evening. Have to clear my schedule for I am sure reading the comments will need a substantial amount of time.

Originally posted by: lashy

Bad girl

Dayummm I would've loved to see your original reaction... now I'll never get that 😭

Originally posted by: Sandhya.A

Now this prompted me to read all the comments before the chapter.🤪

Off to read about UAMK.😲

I did it to please myself, Lashykanna. It is but rarely that one comes across so marvellous a piece of plotting and writing as the extended scene between Ustaad Akbar Mahmoud Khan and the Shehzaade. It was so satisfying!

By the way, why is he called the Shehzaade, when that is the generic word for prince? Surely Dara Shikoh, Murad and Shah Shuja were also shehzaade?

Mine is what one could call an impressionistic analysis, done after just one reading. It is worthwhile for that very reason, that it gives a precise idea of the magnitude of the impact that passage made on me. It is like the first time you look at a stunning painting, a moment of revelation. It cannot be recaptured, which is why I wanted to set it down at once.

Maybe I'll do a companion piece later, after reading it a few times more. I have of course shortchanged my poor Heera (and Bahadur!) here, but that was inevitable. No, it is not that I undervalued this new 'first' of Heera's; it is rather that it paled in comparison to what had gone before.

Nonetheless, the passage below is remarkably evocative in its own way:

And for whatever reason (???😉) , when Heera spotted his silhouette, her first thoughts were 'Welcome back'. .. the very presence of him, posing handsomely tall with his hands behind his back in the midst of his lands, seemed to bring some 'life' to a place that'd felt quite forlorn the past 3 days. Maybe that's why there was a saying - however crowded, a house is empty without its master.

Not just the house, of course, but her heart as well. Well, not master, perhaps, but a potential tenant?😉

You write charmingly original love scenes, Lashykanna - once it is the heroine nearly getting drowned in the stream, once it is her planting herbs while the putative boyfriend (what an odd term for the magnificent Akbar!😉) watches bemusedly, once it is him helping her treat his injured horse, and now it is her having thoroughly corrupted the aforesaid horse while he looks on in mock exasperation. None one can accuse you of being commonplace!😉

Before I close this piece, Lashykanna, one part I found psychologically very convincing was that the Shehzaade has special regard for Akbar not just bccause of his almost unbelievable military and organisational skills, especially in the field of intelligence (R&AW would have jumped at Akbar had he been around now!). It is as much because of his austere, uncorrupted, monkish lifestyle. A lifestyle that is after the Shehzaade's own heart, but which he is, as he knows full well, unable to impose on his men. In that sense, the two of them are brothers under the skin.

To think that the scarred, starved,skinny 13 year old had it in him to become Ustaad Akbar Mahmoud Khan! He is truly a child of destiny, is our Akbar. One has to hand it to the Shehzaade as well, for having the almost equally unbelievable perspicacity to be able to spot the potential within the Dickensian waif he saw. It is like a master sculptor "seeing" the statue within the raw stone.

Well, this is it for now, Lashykanna. See how much time your No. 15 has made me spend on this piece, that too when lunch still has to be looked after! Truly, you are a little witch!😉

Shyamala Periyamma

Originally posted by: lashy

Thank you so so so so so much... Shyamala Periyamma... 🤗

I wish you go to sleep now... but before that, I'll give you the sweetest hugs & love that would, probably for a moment, make you forget about Baby and Babloo for this gesture...

I know how tough this must've been for you..

But you did it, and makes me feel so special!

Actually, as for Ustaad AMK... I admit, it wasn't easy... I had to be careful to deliberately avoid using the same adjectives for the two men, even if they are the same man and doing (almost) the same things... also, it wasn't a misrepresentation but a calculative plot where the title Ustaad and the fact that he's retired from wars, would automatically register in a reader's mind as someone 'oldish' and would never be suspected of being the AMK... time lapses too... When Ustaad is with Khalil/Shehzaade, AMK has to be gone for a while here... etc etc... [I still hope I haven't messed up anywhere lol]

As for Shehzaade/AMK... thank you so much... personally, it was the TOUGHEST scene for me to write... because the balance is so delicate between the two men (who do in their own ways, care for each other)

I only revealed all this (I genuinely hope I don't come off sounding proud, when I do😳) because I know you like/value the planning and plotting behind a ploy... 😃

I know Heera's bit was only tiny... but there was a significance to it too... it is the first time she realises, she 'missed' him... 😳