Akdha TS **MASKED MURDERER** updated part 4 (pg 1){ TS completed} - Page 24

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ANJIJHA thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Awesome chappy Akka ..
I loved it...
How smartly jo solve the mystery...
I am shocked to know the murder name...
Ja is shocked to know abt Ruk felling...
Ja is amaze to see Jo solve the case..
Ja ask for coffee n jo is shocked...
After 3 years..
Both r enjoying happy married life...
Bec of ja caring nature jo change her heart..

U wrote each n every line with perfect..
Its really look like murder story..
Thanks for pm..
Pls give us epilogue..
..Prii1994.. thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
I guessed the same bt still it was a thrill reading it in actual... 😊
I loved the End the most... ❤️
It was so so intimidating...
binduprasad41 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
awesome update
salima is murderer
I am so shock to know that
jodha superbly solve the case
salima is who cheated jalal company also
rukaiya was going to propose jalal on that day
jalal is shock to know all that
I really like the way you describe all things in details
why and how salima kill rukaiya you describe superbly
finally salima confess her crime
last part was awesome
jalal ask for coffee
jalal dig all information about her
she was so shock to know that
but jalal explain her
poor jalal it took him 2 and half years to convince her for marriage
but jodha was also right, it is so hard for her to believe in love for second time
but jalal won her heart at last
last part was so beautiful
he know she don't need protection but he was doing his duty of loving husband
thanks for pm
mickeymini thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Too good update Akka
Sorry I didn't put any review for the previous part
Anyway the story was completely like watching some crime show seriously
U put each and everything at a perfect place
The investigation was too good
Frankly I felt it was first adham Khan then shariffuddin but lastly I felt it might be salima sulthan
When u said clue I read it once again
That instant salima was in the home not picking any call
So I thought she left her mobile and went there for Rukuiya
So it was salima who sold out those papers to the rival company
For a second in part 3 I felt rukuiya betrayed jalal but no she was a honest one
Oh god just jealousy made her to take this extreme step of killing her own sister
Well these days such crimes do take place
But I loved to read a different concept from u
So jalal has almost waited for her for around 2 n half years
Hahaha acp hai itni jaldi thodi Na maan jayegi
Atleast a loving husband and wife

Enjoy ur holiday
And come back
Soon give the update for souls entwined
enthusiastic thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
beautiful story dear avika
very well written
i like it soo much
thanks for the pm dear
SAACHIGUPTA09 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Awesome story Di. 👏
I loved the way u ended it.😊
Clever Jodha, I liked the way she solved the case.😃
N omg so cutely Jalal asked her for coffee.
Please keep writing such stories n do pm me if u do so.
Di I didn't get a pm for the 4th chappy of masked murderer😭
lashy thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

The murderer was surely terrorized with her peircing gaze and she was throughly enoying her effect on the killer, yet she waited before pouncing on her prey .
I like the way you've opened the chapter.. only you and Jodha knows the killer

she marched towards the exit leaving on them to either be here and wait for her ...or to come back after one hour .

😆

We r waiting for the murderer Maan singhfeigining serious ...she replied .
Maan singh ...i love catching the culprits redhanded she winked
😎

Caught you ... Jodha roared at the expected face while Maan singh eyes widened .

Already 😲 omg... lashy hasn't read on yet... she still doesn't know... she reads with a pounding heart.. who is it? My last chance to make a guess.. but my mind is blank...
she reads on...

1...

2...

3...

There was no sign of guilt visible on the face .

😡

Everyone present in the room looked shocked ...Never in their wild dreams had any of them thought a simple innocent looking girl could be the killer .

Simple innocent girl? OMG

Ms Salima sultan...will u speak now ?? Or shall i do the honours ??


Whats the distance between ur house and the hotel ??Jodha quizzed again.

40-45 minutes by bus she answered wiggling her hands .


I loved the way you very shortly yet thoroughly encompassed all the details Avvu... explained Shareefuddin.. his movements, calls... Adham.. his movements calls... same for Atifa, Jalal etc.. 👏 brilliantly written...

Her eyes again fell on him ...to see a tinge of pain in those dark brown eyes...but surprisingly ..there wasnt ...may be he moved on...just like me ...thinking so ...she again turned back to the case .

despite the case, and unravelling of it.. she couldn't help but notice his eyes.. 😉👏

Just one doubt... about Salima's call details.. her calls were traced to her own home... so did they find a burner phone or something... who made the calls from Ruqaiyya's phone, then?

finished narrating the whole story she looked around only to notice the shocked face of everyone ...especially him...😉. she smiled and continued
😉

...our team found a very small pond ...and like i guessed ...we found a handbag with maxima 99 in a hurry ..the same gun which was used to kill Rukkaiya sultan ...u might have thrown it in a hurry ...and thus it didnt even striked u to take out ur company's identity card atleast...like this we got an evidence against u ...

That was quick!👏 and efficient!

So ...am i right ?? Or am i right Ms salima ...she asked looking straight in her eyes .
😆

he couldnt stop himself from praising the female officer in his mind standing proudly in front of him . A small smile made its way at the corner of his lips .
Hee hee... kyaa kyaa karnaa padaa... Jo ko... impress karne ke liye 😆

she always made me feel like a failure .
🤢

rukkaiya saw us together and heard everything ...she wanted to tell Mr Mohammad everything ...i pleaded her but she didnt listen to me even once...
Oooh RUQS is the good one.. and Salima is the bad one.. I liked this twist in your tale Avvu


Ms Jodha...taking the liberty of calling her by her first name ...Jalal stepped towards her .
😉

I dont have the whole day for u Mr Mohammad she uttered twisting her lips .
he's only calling you na.. why so rude!

but then ...if someone apologise to us ...we should forgive him in return right ...and so she did the same .
Proud of you girl👏

Coffee??
Murder case se coffee tak 😆

U didnt say no either Ms Jodha tossing a crooked smile he answered.
Well he was right ,she did a mistake ...she should have directly said "NO" if she wasnt interested ...but whats the point in lamenting on spilled milk .
Finally tedha Mr. Mohammed!😉


And u r not ready to compromise with u job ...right?? ...he completed her sentence shocking her again .
😲
Tedha and outright frank.. Jalal did you just skip like 5 steps


u know i cant let just anyone take up my case ...right ...he paused to see her reaction and like expected her eyes were spitting fire.
Kanha ...If i wasnt supposed to give an account for every bullet ,im sure he would have dead by now she muttered in her mind gritting her teeth .
🤣


Ms Jodha...im sorry ..im really sorry. ..but trust me ..i would have done the same if it was anyone else either ...he expalined and she knew he was telling truth .

Besides its just a coffee...no dates and all he assured her and she fell in his trap .

You charmer 😆

Wait ...what...pappu ka dhaba???...Ms Jodha...i dont eat/drink road side things ...it so unhigenic...can we meet somewhere else ?? He shreiked which made her chuckle this time .
😆

she sat in her Jeep casting a final glance at him...before leaving the place ...

...

3 years later ...
🥺 My heart went from tip of Mount Everest to bottom of Mariana Trench!
I immediately knew you skipped all the juicy parts of a story that was just beginning to blossom.. like watching a newborn baby and then suddenly he's off to office... *lashy throws a tantrum*

He cradled her naked form in his arms ...with his chin resting on her head while her face snugged deep inside his broad chest and her one hand wrapped possessively wrapped around his torso...

The heavenly adorable couple were sleeping peacefully on their kind sized bed, when the mobile placed on the side table vibrated disturbing their sleep...
🥺 I'm supposed to enjoy this scene but don't know how they got here..


Dont go ...pls...he uttered rubbing his nose on the curve of her neck making her weak .

Jalal...its emergency ...she said in pleasing tone

Fine...i will leave u then...he got up from the bed and started wearing his clothes when Jodha quipped in ..

🥺


Bol diya ?? Now pls go and put on ur uniform ...otherwise...umm...a glint of mischeif flashed in his eyes and she knew what was going in his dirty mind .


Shall we ?? Mrs Jalal Mohammad ?? Winking at her he took her hand in his and ushered her to his car ...opening the door for her like a true gentleman he waited for her to settle on the seat and closed the door . Taking the drivers seat Mr Jalal Mohammad himself drove the car for his wife...


He knew ...she doesnt need any protection...and she can very well take good care of herself ...but being a loving husband ... he should take care of his wife like every other husband does...isnt it ??

And it is for the same reason our hardcore police officer fell head over heals in love with her doting her .Though it took 2 and a half years for her to realise her feelings for Jalal...as the weak stubborn heart was not ready for another heart break...but gradually Jalal made a place in her heart .His simple gestures always made her feel special and shows how important she is to him .

They finally got their true soulmate ...thanking the almighty she circled her hand around his arm and rested her head on his shoulder while he planted a quick kiss on her forehead ...and continued driving ...
I'm still on strike btw😳


i updated TS first becoz if i didnt .. i surely would have forgot what was in my mind 😆

🤣

Alright now that was 'emotional' lashy... on hartal and all...
but this is from 'sensible' lashy

You did right in ending this story here, Avvu... this was meant to be 'Masked Murderer' (burkhaa waali Salima) and the story of how a police officer found her culprit... it was designed as a short story and that's exactly what you designed...had you planned it as a love story between cop and businessman, it would have taken on a different title and form..
but this was meant to be a murder investigation... and Jalal and Jodha's story was an offshoot of this wrapped-up investigation... if it went on to become a love story, the very focus of the story and even its title will be lost..
so I understand what you've done... you kept it on focus... and did an amazing job of it

Kudos to you for this Avvu... 🤗
Edited by lashy - 9 years ago
eshalli thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Awesome chapter dear
Loved it
I like Jo way of handling the case very cleverly
I was shocked that salima is murderer
I thought murderer must be either sharif r adham
Beautiful ending
I loved caring hubby jalal
Thxc 4r pm
harshu27 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
wonderful update avi...🤗so salima had killed her own sister...😲 d reasons or d xcuses which she said i felt like watching CID😆 in CID msot of d criminals revealed d same reasons😆😉but anyways joja's relationship masked d murderer...😉 dat pappu ka dhabba🤣 cracked me🤣i can understand how embarrassing it mite b for jalal to go on date with her at d dhabba😆 but my my finally dey became couple and der spl cozy moments were spoiled by her senior 😕😉but loved jalal's gestures so finally his gentleman gestures made her fall for him hard dat 2 after 2 and half yrs interesting...😛😉 but thorough njoyed dis FS😳 it was diff concept and loved it to d core...🤗waiting for more from u...😳
sweet_diksha thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
excellent story, Avika...a totally different plot and hence very refreshing...😊

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