NOVEL~*Hiding behind a Stranger*~ THREAD 2 - CHAPTERS 3 & 4

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shahbhavini

@shahbhavini

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#121

I don't know what to say ... word flabbergasted doesn't even sufficient. I am in shock...tears and heartbroken. I knew Khalil😕 is going to kill Durga but with this cruel act😭... oh god... he didn't even spare her virtue😭... her modesty, he tainted her purity with his dirty claws... HE IS F...KING COWARD. PIECE OF XXX...I want Heera to slaughter that ...piece of XXX🤢 (I want to write every bad word I know... thousands word spilled in my brain for this xx xxx Khalil let me say one at least F - bas***d...rascal🤢😡). He can't be that stranger... NO WAY...

Why Durga didn't kill herself😒 when she knew she can't fight them? She knew they are going ruin her physically and take farman. I salute⭐️ to that woman who battled for her dignity till her last breath... I didn't want her death this way... I am so angry and emotional that I can't think straight at this time... I very well knew this is going happen (NOT THIS INTENSE) but it's so hard to read it... You are so amazing writer that in just two chapters I feel this bond with Durga and Heera. I wish I can kill Khalil with my own hand... The villain of this story. Hope he is not the stranger... The title of the story Hiding behind a stranger' Seems like this stranger... Very powerful persona... One single man scared away the team of thugs...

The four line poetic message👏👏👏... I read it three times... How u come up with this remarkable ... such a deep meaningful lines ...

I cherished every character and every scene of this chapter... from the dog barking till stranger entry... You are such a talented writer that by every line readers eyes either widen with shock or fill with tears ...or heart swell with pride and sometimes U also take us to the dreamland of romantic era...⭐️

By the way... why U stopped this chapter at this point😡... Can't wait for next Sunday to come...

I have written this without putting even a single thought so please no one laugh at my comment... I feel when I write immediately after reading without thinking much or reading any other comments... my opinion comes directly from my heart...

I have to reread once again to understand more depth of this chapter... so much happened... I probably missed out many important things in my impatience, haste and curiosity.

Sharddha Love U🤗 ... and Thank U for such a wonderful Historical Story...

Edited by shahbhavini - 9 years ago

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divyavm

@divyavm

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#122

Writer-e-khaas,

A beautifully written but heart-wrenching chapter ... well done! You have brought the whole scene to life ... from the sound of silence (if that is possible to describe) to the heart wrenching pain of first Durga and later Harka.

I don't know I have a theme per say of my take 5 ... but rather will just walk you through the build up of the scene and how my emotions traveled through the chapter.

1. The calm silence before the storm ... there is something very silent and calm about the start that you capture very eloquently ... so that we can feel it ... the lamps doused, the nightly reflection to the parents, the loving look at the heart of the house- the aangan, fond reflections of Harka, and leaning against the window at the idyllic scenery.

Like Durga's own tired body, perhaps we are also lulled to sleep, imagining the night is coming to a close.

And perhaps, we wouldn't have realized how still the surroundings were unless you contrasted it with the clamor of the dishes and the barks of the dogs. Therein, lied the problem ... and as you say, the barks that brought Durga and us to reality.

2. The silence that had seemed peaceful just a moment before turns ominous- as no one responds to Durga's calls. And just as Durga's mind perks up to the lurking danger , we are made aware of the signs of danger ... the crazed dogs, the unusually dark darkness, the trail of blood ...

While we just read in shock ... it is Durga who must hold back her tears, rage, and sadness and fight for those she feels responsible for ... and just a moment before the window she had said, she will strive to save her people as long as she lived ... a true foreshadowing indeed.

3. And what presence of mind Durga shows ... we as the reader are rooting for her ... that may be she will be able to pull through, or at least save the farmaan. She recounts her personal weapons, extinguishes any light to maintain a home advantage, calls her horseman to deliver messages to her people and Harka, plans her own escape strategy ...

alas it is too late, she is surrounded by huge men, that her guards easily fell in front of, yet she positioned herself so only one could fight her at a time ...

Until she was faced with Khalil, whose name itself had made her heart sink a while before. But still she fought. However, as you beautifully describe, her limbs could not match the inmortality of her spirit.

4. And then there was a rapid spiral to her untimely demise ... she was broken at the thought of the horrors Khalil would inflict upon her ... worse than death ... after that, she lost her farmaan, honor, and life in quick succession.

After all the build up of the defense, the end seemed to come rather rapidly, a fitting parallel to a life that had ended too soon.

5. And then as we feel the shock of Durga's death, you transport us back to Harka, experiencing a similar jumble of emotions of sadness, fear of what will happen, and weariness ... and beyond a helplessness that she had to run away from the people she had to save ... her only solace is the illusion of Durga, or perhaps a sign, that her sister's immortal strength and spirit will always be with her as a new stranger arrives in her life...

And what are we left with, as the reader is, a ray of hope with Harka ... three moments in the chapter foreshadowing that she will indeed restore the broken pieces of her world ...

- Durga's recollection that- 'Anything she [Harka] touches, blossoms... and anyone she treats, heals!'
- Of the two horseman, there was one who was saved by the destined horse, by destiny ... I believe it was this second horseman that was instructed to go to Harka ... and hence, Harka was also destined to be saved, to later save her own (maybe I am reading too much here)
- In the "conversation" with Durga, Durga describes how Harka was saving herself now so that she can use her mind as the biggest weapon later ... I am looking forward to understanding the meaning of "Never did she find me, because I know how to hide..." I feel there is more than meets the surface.

A beautifully weaved chapter writer-e-khaas, oscillating from silence to raging storm... as we now are left wondering who is this new stranger that enters.

Edited by divyavm - 9 years ago

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Nima

@nims23

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#123

What a marvelous chapter Shrads... awesome imagination of the awesome writer !!!!

Durga was a true warrior... she lived like one and died like one...

A loving sister who didn't forget to save her kid sister's life by passing her a hidden message in form of a poem... !!

A very heart wreching end of Durga...

Just loved the one line which describes Heera so well...

'Anything she touches, blossoms... and anyone she treats, heals!'

At last the entry of most awaited character of this story... our "stranger" ..the HERO.. who will save/ help our heroine. .. !!!

Waiting for the next chapter...to know more about this "stranger" ... :)

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shahbhavini

@shahbhavini

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#124

Originally posted by: Ashvneet2399

Dii , khoob saara pack krwa k laana , yahaa poori bhukkadd sena baithi h 🤣

Bhukkadd😲😆 I enjoyed so much... and ate too much too😡

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shahbhavini

@shahbhavini

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#125

Originally posted by: alffim

>>>> why men always shows their power on this thing only??

Such a daring and stout-hearted woman she was and what he did with her?

Does this proves that he was powerful than her? No he's a coward, bloody dastard.

He could kill her but No, that rapist first took away her modesty.

My heart cried at this, Not only for Durga but for myself, for being a girl who can't go outside at night,alone just because of such monsters and for every that girl, with whom such monsters have done such a crime.Cry

Sometimes it happens, we(Girls) feel very uneasy if someone unintentionally touched us, what about those girls, with whom such things have happened?CryCry

Whenever We switched to a news channel, then only these news we heard that a gang of some boys raped this girl, or this woman. Now is a time, when such monsters are not leaving the old women too. They don't even think once, that they are spoiling someone's life.

I usually never feel sad reading any story as I know it's just a story, only few are the stories with which I can connect myself. After reading this, My mind was so lost in this thing only.OuchOuchOuch

Your analysis is wonderful and this is close to all women ... in all time, all countries and all social strata. It was so painful to read, that I understood not directly why he killed her.
Durga was personality so strong, beautiful and brave ... She died as other victims, we do not know her thoughts.

My dear Zaana my heart cried too😭 ... Such a pity...

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Shraddha

@lashy

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#126

Originally posted by: -AkDha.Lover-
Lashy di, it was a touching update, it really was. So much so that I couldn't comment immediately after reading it...
Sorry about that...

I hadn't expected all this to happen so soon. It was a real shock, not only for Bhavi di, but for all of us. 😲
Awww😭

'You're proud of us, aren't you maasa... bapusa?' she asked her parents, like she did every night

^ Loved this. 😳 Their parents sure are proud of them...especially after what Durga did today.
Of course, they would be!

And the aangan part was lovely. Harka is one hard-working and dedicated girl. 😳⭐️

'A Heera indeed' Durga smiled to herself as she fondly recalled what their old tutor had said of his star pupil 'Anything she touches, blossoms... and anyone she treats, heals!'

This line seems to have touched many-a-heart! 😳

^ This is adorable! 😳 Durga smiling at her sister's taareef...⭐️😳 And what beautiful words you hvae chosen for Heera! ❤️

Now the clash had made me think something's wrong, but the way you brushed it aside, I too did. 😆 Only if like me, Durga hadn't done so.

Well... it's not unusual for things to be clanging in the kitchen, anyway...

Durga smiled at the boy's enthusiasm. A forty eight hour journey from the horse-fair followed by an exhaustive day's work, meant her limbs were groaning about the lack of rest and her mind throbbing from the day's stresses. Yet, if she managed to smile at the end of it - it was because she was surrounded by the company of people who loved her thus.

^ You have built such a happy atmosphere around the two sisters, that the sudden harsh reality of fate hits even harder!

True! Taking it through how she would have been at that time...

'Mining the valleys would destroy everything we've worked hard for... the fields, the plantations, the water, the homes, the hospital, the peace... EVERYTHING! I'll never let that happen so long as I live!'

^ What determination! 👏👏⭐️ But this kinda gave away what's gonna happen...
Hmmm

For Durga Bai... 👏👏👏 Any amount of praise for this valiant girl would be insufficient.⭐️⭐️⭐️ She's a rockstar. ⭐️ In such a short time, she had made such a great impact on the story, even greater on the readers. Kudos to you for shaping up such a character! ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Her sharp instincts of defense, the calmness even in the face of death, the will to never give up, the valor of a true warrior, the love for her motherland and it's people, the engulfing sadness at the realization that her people had died for her, and just how brilliantly she controls it, the flashes of her loved ones, her presence of mind as to what is the best way out, and, to do or to die - 'I will NOT give you the Farmaan, even if you take my life!' the breathless warrior challenged him, the faces of her loved ones flashing before her eyes

Everything has made her an inspiration to me. Simply adore her! ❤️ Truly a memorable character, with a young life to live on, with so much potential, and so brutally wasted.

Knowing that she would die eventually, it was still so hard to digest. I was praying real hard that so would, somehow escape. Alas! 😭
I am so touched by how she reached out to so many is such a short time...❤️... in a way, she lives on...

And that K!!! I can't describe in words how much I hate him! God knows how he even makes such DISGUSTING people...🤢🤢🤢 Did he even realize what had he done? For some Farmaan he had taken a life so promising...😭😡😡

>>> 😭

More than Durga's death, it was the breach of her modesty that shocked me. Wsa that really necessary di? It really put me off...😡😡😡 I had imagined that K would take the Farmaan and go away, and Durga would eventually die. But that monster...😡😡😡.🤢🤢🤢

Necessary? In life NO... but, it happens and the story is set out to depict realistically what would have happened! It was how it was (and even is today) when men go to raid a place and they find a beautiful girl alone... how do they end up showing their victory and superiority? What happens in all the wars?
I think it was even more difficult to digest because as Chellam said, we always see the very brave and strong emerge victorious... but, we don't realise there are many brave and strong who perish too! Alas, Durga was one such...

By the way, the little bit you have added about the auction's horse, and how that little smile appears on Durga's face amidst all the misery, is so sweet. Even the way she prays to God and how it's answered, is lovely. ❤️ ❤️

That horse part was one of my favourite bits and every time I read, it was the point I felt her desperation the most! That was more to show the circle of life... how one action one day, impacts another in another way...
But it does also have a small 'other' significance to the story you'll realise as it unfolds!

She was so relieved when the first horse-man took off... only to be killed. But her hopes were shattered the very next moment. Chalo at least that poem reached Harka, I thought he'll also die. The poem bit between the sisters since childhood was lovely... only added to their lovely bonding. 😳😳😳 It also had a hidden meaning, an inspiration, which we get to know later, but perhaps these two knew all along! ❤️
Hmmm
Yes through the poem, she asks Heera to hide and also as a last message I guess... she must have guessed chances of her not coming out of this alive, were high! 😭

Harka's state was as heart-wrenching as Durga's end. 😭😭 To imagine such lovely sisters apart is in itself so sad...😭😭😭

The part where Harka dreams of her Jiji is heart-touching. ❤️ And soothing to her as well. 😳 Durga is lovely here too, the way she tries to console her sis. 😳😳

The lingering heaviness reminded her that the visions were merely a dream - that her life was still a nightmare. There was no jiji. Never will be. Just ashes in an urn that she was holding onto tightly.

^ These lines... 😭😭😭 Just bring us and Harka both back to the harsh reality of this world.

Awww 😭

Amidst all this, I loved the loyalty of their men towards the two sisters. They are lucky to have been in a circle like this! ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thanks dear.. 🤗

So the stranger is here. Let's see what you have in store for us here.

Loool...

Overall, very beautifully written di! 👏👏⭐️ Update soon. 😃

Thank you so so so much Shagun for this heartfelt review... I really appreciate how you delve into each and every part of the update and come up with your own gems! 🤗