OS: Ankahee Baatein (Unspoken conversation)- Author's note-pg 9- 05/23

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sara

@SARA4444

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#11

really really nice os 👏👏👏

loved it a lott ❤️

jodha's flashbacks, confrontation , everything was superb 👏😳

loved the rahim part 😃

plzz continue 😃

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PBDcrazy

@PBDcrazy

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#12

Wooow ... lovely OS ... very nicely written... thank u bhavini ❤️... u r such a cutie pie, inspiring many people to write stories ... n thank u ashpat for bringing such cute story with sense & realism ... keep writing & I will keep reading 😆

Yeahh ... n dont forget to PM me whenever u think of writing any OS , FF , SS etc etc 😃

Edited by varshaakulkarni - 11 years ago

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ash

@ashpat

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#13

Thank you everyone!! I will reply to each comment when I get some free time. Thanks once again for reading it and appreciating it.

🤗

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RadhikaS0

@RadhikaS0

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#14

Absolutely wonderful story, Ash! I loved it. It is simple and sweet and just the way it would have happened or will probably happen tonight.

Please do write more such stories and share! 🤗

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Samanika

@SpringBreakers

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#15

Hey there!

You have a really beautifully written OS there😃!

It really didn't seem that you're a beginner! Your usage of words and your sentences are perfect!😳

I loved the self-talks you have written! They clearly bring out the regret and inner-turmoil of both Jodha and Jalal😳. The regret of what they should not have done and turmoil regarding the repercussions of their actions. Truly well-written!👏

Jodha's pain was clearly brought out. The sword-fighting, Jalal caring for her in the forest and their meal together from the same plate all were important moments for Jodha. The reminiscence of these moments brought tears to her eyes!😭

The best part came towards the end, when Jodha and Jalal sat in her hojra and they told Rahim the story of how they met each other. Really sweet and touching! Also loved the part where they accepted their mistakes and made up with each other for good!😃

Really well written and keep it up!😃

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...jaskaran...

@...jaskaran...

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#16

loved ur os... continue to write more...😛😛

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nini06

@nini06

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#17

Bravo...👏..!!
It was really cute...😳...best part was the confrontation...😊

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swetha

@sw123

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#18

awesome os 👏

hope the same happens in serial also

continue to write more and pm me when u do

Edited by sw123 - 11 years ago

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surbhimathur

@surbhimathur

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#19

Hey first of all thank you for the pm 😃 secondly..dude! You are a writer! Woah and that too an amazing one! Congratulations on your first writeup 👏
You very well explained the chaotic state of jodha's heart and mind. The way she kept questioning herself at every step was very well penned, i wished to see like this in the show. We just got one monologue of hers after the tirth kar being removed but here you showed each step which gave smoothness to your writeup. Then jodha's welcome in agra was short and sweet, me likey 😳

Then comes AkDha confrontation! You know at this point of time in their life it becomes difficult to imagine what could be their first conversation..will they hug or just clear the air between them. The way you wrote it was so different and soothing to read, trust me romance is not necessary everywhere, because conversations are more important and AkDha need to talk it out first rather than going on with the romance. So all in all i loved your take on this shot! Ending was perfect..with rahim sleeping and then AkDha resting with their fingers entangled with each other.
Loved It! ❤️
And that Registaan Ka Gulaab reminded me of bhavini! Thanks to her that we got to read your writer skills
Keep writing and do pm me 😊