Friends, it was a long but satisfying maha episode yesterday, wasn't it? It was satisfying because we saw the calibre of both the protagonists. Jalal had no false pride in baring his soul to Jodha. He pleaded with her to return with him to Agra, after he had gone to all lengths to first get her to come face-to-face in person. He appealed to her love, her obvious soul-level attraction to him, her inability to live without him as he was unable to live without her. But Jodha, despite seeing the deep love in Jalal and acknowledging it, despite the traitorous feelings of love in her own heart that bled for him, and despite the magnetic pulls of seeing him present in front of her, did not succumb. She point blank refused to go back with Jalal to Agra.
Why did she take this stance? Was it justified? Was Jalal not pleading with her and talking of love, the force that heals all? Was he not doing the best he could to restore her confidence in him by following her here and supplicating before her? I felt every inch in my heart for Jalal yesterday because I have never seen him so shattered and I found myself praying that he would not have to suffer more before he could get back his Jodha. It was desperation and her continuing distance that even made him enact the death scene to pull her to face him. Whether it was a good idea or a tactical blunder, let's put that aside for a moment. He was desperate enough to try that stunt and it worked, it brought Jodha face-to-face out of the hiding that she was doing.
But while I can understand and empathise with Jalal, I can fully understand Jodha's situation as well, as I suppose every self-respecting woman in the same position can. How can all the love in the world - not just his love but even the love in her own heart for him - make amends for the fact that she had even gone to extent of saving his life by drinking snake poison and being on her death bed, yet he had succumbed to the anger and suspicion of her character in a fleeting second in the Sujamal case.
There was error on both sides, as Jodha was the first to admit. She had not told him about Sujamal because she felt vachan-bound. But he could have made better enquiries, found out the truth, before accusing her of having an illicit affair with a stranger. What can all the love in the world do to fill the void created in her "astitva", her "sammaan", her personal dignity and self-respect? Now her heart was torn and bleeding and needed the balm of respect first and the not the rush of love to cure it! She couldn't think of love when her bleeding heart needed the first-aid of "respect" before love could blossom there again!
On the whole folks, I am not inclined to take sides over here because I do sincerely feel the pain of both the people involved. I wish things were not like this between them, but the circumstances are there and we all have to face them ... not just Jalal and Jodha, but all of us viewers too. Errors have happened on both sides and we have to look dispassionately at what has happened, and see the lessons that can be learnt by both of them that will strengthen their relationship in the future and give it an insurance cover against future recurrence.
Jalal is in bad shape, because his own conscience is prodding at him relentlessly. That is in fact a worse situation than someone else accusing him, when his own heart and mind continue to chastise him. He knows he has sullied their relationship with the ugly emotion of suspicion and disrespect, and no one needs to tell him this ... he knows what he has done. His defence is that he loved her so much - to the point of distraction - that the same very love made him go overboard in his other emotions of suspicion, knee-jerk reaction and his absence of control of his temper and speech. He said too much out of the force of his love spurting out of his mouth uncontrollably. Jalal himself knows that he has overstepped the line and accused her of having an affair, a barb that has pierced her heart and left it bleeding. Especially for a Rajvanshi woman, who even contemplates the act of jauhar rather than be touched by another man, the very act of immoral and clandestine extra-marital relationships is abhorrent. On Jalal's side, there is real love for her, but he's so carried away by the extent of love he has for her, that he has tended to override her sense of self-respect thinking the love for him in her heart will wash away every other kind of sense of hurt. There is a lesson here to be learnt by Jalal which Jodha is teaching him by not succumbing to his request for easy forgiveness and return to Agra. She is showing him that in the name of love, one person cannot have the liberty of hurting and wounding another's heart and ravaging it.
Jodha too needs to learn a lesson that Jalal is subtly teaching her. That no matter how torn a heart is, running away from him cannot be a long term solution - for the heart is only going to bleed more. How long can she hold out that she needs "respect"? She is so full of what she needs that she may miss hearing his words that that is exactly what he wants to give her. Jodha has to learn that listening to her own heart alone will give her just one side of the story. She needs to hear the other side and accept the respect if Jalal is now ready to give that to her, and in her obstinacy she should not locked into a permanently hurt position, and forget to see that he too can change and what he is ready to give her. Maybe she may easily miss the fact that Jalal has learnt his lesson and instead of only talking of "love, love, love" he has also realised that he has to give her "respect". If she becomes too stubborn she may miss appreciating that change in him. If she stays with "eyes wide shut" against anything and everything he wants to now offer her, she may miss getting that very thing that she needs from him. She has to be open to facing him, she has to show him how to fulfil her needs to help repair her heart. Only she knows how torn her heart is, but by just saying "My heart is torn, you have torn my heart with disrespect for my feelings", she will get nothing. She needs to show Jalal how to give her what she needs for her heart to heal. She cannot hope that he will himself magically know what she needs. She has to help him to help her.
The way forward, according to me, is for Jodha to continue to resist him ... and for Jalal to continue to stay firm that he wants to make amends. The impasse may continue for a while, but this kind of firmness on both sides will do both of them a world of good. Then when tempers cool, and when each has shown and told the other what he or she wants from the other now to heal the breach, when the wounds of both hearts are healed, and only love remains, then is the right time for her to accept his pleas and for him to exert his love on her and for them both to return to Agra!
I think we have come to the most beautiful point of the relationship. After all the recent major trials and tribulations, if the two people had just said "Let's forgive and forget all and be a happy couple once again," their relationship would always and forever remained a weak one. But by both of them insisting on self-respect and mutual respect - and emotional nonviolence - as the basis of their love, they are only strengthening their love by giving it a strong foundation on time-tested values.
Jalal needs to be adamant here and insist that he is remorseful, and that he truly loves her. But more than just saying these words, he needs to find ways of showing her that he is willing to try and restore her torn self-respect and self-esteem in some concrete actionable way. He needs to apply his mind to see how he can demonstrate to her that he is going to uphold respect for her identity, dignity and feelings, along with showering love on her. Jalal must realise that he has already used all the words of love and pleading and asking that he knew, but talking of mutual love alone cannot repair the absence of "respect" that made him take knee-jerk reactions to her. His excessive love is the culprit, it made him forget that "love" has to be based on "respect".
Jodha needs time and space to heal the wounds to her heart. She loves him, but that love is what makes her wounds bleed all the more. How could he, who was so precious to her, for whom she even laid her own life on the line, accuse her of the one sin she would never ever commit. If he believed in her love, could he believe also in her adultery? How could he put his love on the tarazu and weigh it against her fidelity? Was love so shallow? Was his love shallow, or worse, did he think her love was so shallow? Jodha needs answers to her heart's many questions before she can love again without reserve. Right now her bleeding heart refuses to function as long as it is torn and in repair. She needs to know that her husband "respects" her enough to value her love in the right way. And for that she needs answers from him and her own self. Her heart needs time to heal and be whole again, where only love can remain and no other echoes of the way he treated her.
Times like these are important in relationships. It is actually a very good thing if in a relationship, the thorny issues come to the fore and get all sorted out before the mutual declarations of love, rather than their rushing forward with the love relationship only to find that the ugly head of suspicion and hurt raises its presence later in the relationship. The later such things come to the fore in a relationship, the more complicated it all becomes to repair.
I think the solution here is that both Jodha and Jalal should stay adamant. Jalal should be adamant in wanting Jodha back but he has to demonstrate his adamance via actions of respect towards her. I think Jodha too needs to be adamant. She has to insist on her heart getting healed before she can accept or talk of mutual love and a joint life together. If he takes her back without understanding the lesson of "respect before love", or she goes back too quickly before her heart heals fully, both of them will again fall prey to the same problems that beset them now. And the Agra circus is no place to go to when they are trying to mend their relationship. There are so many vultures there ready to tear them apart. That's why I wish they would both go to Amer with Bharmal to work out the healing space and time for their relationship. I would like them to be "near each other physically but separated mentally". If both go to Amer, under the wise counsel and kind protection of the Ameri family, they can possibly talk when needed, act when needed and restore faith mutually.
In this connection I have a small story to tell as an example of why it is better for Jodha and Jalal to be near but also deliberately "cut " from each other rather than to acquiesce to each other too quickly ... why it is better for them to voluntarily "cut" their closeness of relationship for a small space of time, than to let it continue to tear on its own through continuing lack of respect and non-healing of Jodha's heart.
I recall my doctor's advice when I was having some surgery to remove an abcess in my hand. Instead of letting the abscess tear itself open on its own and spew out all the puss, she said to me: let's not wait for it to tear. I'll cut it open deliberately and let the bad stuff out. BECAUSE THERE ARE TIMES IN LIFE WHEN A CUT IS BETTER THAN A TEAR. A tear may tear in all directions and be hard to stitch back neatly, it may look patchy and leave an ugly scar for life, whereas a deliberate cut is a straight, controlled line and can be stitched back more easily into original shape. And especially if I use the right stitching process, you will have virtually no scar visible at all".
I think Jodha and Jalal need to be together at Amer, where they can continue to communicate, at least with the eyes and body language if not with words, but there needs also to be a deliberate "cut" in the closeness of their relationship which can be stitched back with the thread of "respect" rather than just talk of love. Once the scar has healed and is not even visible, love will naturally be there, since it was always there to begin with!
Okay I have said all I wanted to on the subject ... now let me just cover the Jodha dialogue to Jalal as my scene for detailed analysis for I liked that scene a lot ...
What happened before Jodha and Jalal met up finally ...
Jodha found herself not only giving her lep for Jalal's wound, but also then found herself cooking food to his taste and generally finding ways to help him surreptitiously without his knowing. She was in dichotomy, loving him, understanding that he too loved her (after his bhashan on mohabbat especially), but also unable to bear the bleeding of her heart which had been torn by his disrespect for her feelings and suspicions of her loyalty. "If he's going to continue to stay here, I'll have to go from here for my own sanity" she thought to herself. Looking at him resting in his room, she remembered everything good that they had done together, but she couldn't help that thoughts of the bad moments also intruded into her memories giving her no peace.
Meanwhile at Agra, Adham planned separately to waylay Jalal and kill him on his return to Agra, and simultaneously Abul Mali was also indeoendently planning along the same lines. The women at Agra were divided in their opinions. Hamida and Salima were ranged against Ruq and Maham. While Ruq felt that Jodha had no right to refuse to come back with Jalal and he should waste no more time on her, Hamida and Salima lauded Jodha for standing up to Jalal and possibly refusing to return with him. Hamida wanted Jodha to not succumb in a hurry for Jalal, she thought, had been abominable to Jodha. Sharif meanwhile was on his own trip. He assumed that Jodha may have committed suicide, and although he rued losing her, his eyes were now peeled on the Agra takht for he was sure Jalal would saunter in as a broken and defeated man incapable of defending himself against attack.
The next morning, after Jalal was recovered he and Todarmal discussed the fact that Jodha needed to be found in a hurry at the Holi celebrations where everybody usually congregated. As it happened he hit pay dirt. Jodha was throwing some Holi colours on Shehnaaz when it all accidentally fell on Jalal, and his face was so full of colour that he became unrecognisable. Imagining him to be some other man Jodha profusely apologised - when Jalal recognised her voice instantly and knew he had found her. But again he could not locate her in the crowds as she went back into hiding.
Todarmal was there fortuitously, with the very man Jalal had met a few days ago, when asking around for Jodha in the town. That man helped identify Jodha as the very lady who had carried the Kanha murthy, and then made the lep for Jalal ... so Jalal then got the picture, as did Todarmal too, that Jodha did not want to come face-to-face with Jalal and was deliberately hiding from him, even if she was drawn to helping him with his wounds and concerned about his welfare. Jalal then made, what I thought, was a tactical blunder.
In cahoots with Todarmal, Jalal faked his own death and had the rumour spread around that he was dead, knowing that would bring Jodha forward to himself. The ruse seemed to work and Todarmal saw Jodha come forward to see her Jalal. She swayed a bit in a faint and Jalal at once went from doing the dead body act into standing up and holding Jodha. But the whole gambit backfired when Jodha realised he had tricked her into facing him when she was utterly unready to meet him. She ran from there through the rough landscape to a waterfront, where again she waded deep into the water in a fit of rage. Jalal had to run in and fetch her from the water like old times, but when he got her to dry land, he got a volley of words from her that squared off everything he had said to her during their big fight ...
Here's what Jodha said to Jalal when she finally exploded ...
Having saved Jodha from the water Jalal held her shoulders as he said "Come to your senses".
He then let go of her as she started standing steady. "So angry with me? You were never so angry with me even when you used to hate me Jodha Begum" Jalal said with a desperate plea in his voice. "At those times you used to at least stand and face me. But today, you want to put as much distance between us as possible? I know Jodha Begum that I have made a grave error. Because of my error I have made such a big gunaah against you. But I now realise my gunaah. And even you have always said that a guneghaar, if he has real remorse, should be given another chance?"
"All I want is that one more chance, for which I have been roaming the country searching for you so that I can beg for your forgiveness!" He folded his hands to plead with her, but all through his speech so far she avoided even the slightest eye contact! "I want to take you back with me" he said to her. "If you want please kill me, but don't let me become this life that is nothing but dead inside. Don't stay away from me and make me suffer for I cannot live one more moment without you. Jodha Begum, I know how much you care for me, how much you love me. Isn't that why you made lep for me and even came running when you heard the news that I was dead? Isn't that so, please give me an answer?"But his pleas were gaining no traction with her. She steadfastly stared away from him, refusing even to look at his face or eyes. Her eyes were filled with latent anger.
"Please give me an answer" he said again when she stood unresponding. But that last question awoke her fire. "Again more questions from you? All you want again is a Yes or No answer? Yes, I care for you. If you get sad I get sad too" she said pushing at his shoulders as if to distance him for her own sanity. "Yes if you die I will break all my bangles and yes, I too will choose to die if you do, because all I want is to fulfil my duties as your wife." She shook Jalal by the shoulders, something she's never done before ever.
"I know I have committed a mistake, Jodha Begum, and I have made you lose your peace. I beg your forgiveness. Please come back with me" Jalal pleaded again with folded hands. "No, I will not go back with you to Agra", she replied in a shaking angry voice. "What reasons do you have for taking me back? You always act by your own whims. Whenever you wish you get angry with me, whenever you wish you smile ... whenever you wish you ask me to go, and whenever you wish you ask me to come back ... whenever you wish you also throw mud on my character, and whenever you wish you change your mind to come and search for me ...? "
"Who am I? In fact what am I? What is my individuality, my personal recognition? Don't I have any status or recognition as a person? Do I have no feelings or do I have a heart incapable of hurting? I am a Rajvanshi who has been brought up to worship her husband and to even think of another man is a "paap" in my lexicon. And here you have heaped such a huge "aarop" on me and questioned my "charithra"? If there is anny "daag" on my head, I am one of those who would rather have my head severed, and if another man should even touch me, I would rather commit jauhar than live ... and to such a person as me you have hurt my "maan, sammaan and swabhimaan".?"
"Even now my ears are ringing with the hurtful words you said to me. I cannot believe that you are the same man who walked the pheras with me around the agni and took our wedding vachans. Are you the same man who held my hand and took me as a bride with you - who can now in one instant leave me to go away from you? And what was my mistake? That I was trying to do whatever is needed to save your life? I couldn't tell you about my brother Sujamal, because I was vachan-bhad! The relationship of a brother and sister is one of the purest ones in this world, and you have sullied even that!"
"Why does it always happen, Shahenshah, that a woman is always the one to get punished or has to compromise? Why does a woman always have to listen to and do only what a man says? And then she has to forgive the man easily for his apraadh? A woman is bound by many relatiionships ... to her father, her brothers, her pati, her family ... her duty is to sink herself and keep them all well? For her father she has to give up her wishes, for her husband she has to give up all her dreams, and even her own maayka where she grew up, just so she can go away with him into his life ... and then that pati in just irrational moment condemns her to a lone existence cutting all ties? "
"A woman can give up everything, but she cannot give up the pride of her "sammaan:". She can undertake any burdens, of sadness and sorrow, but she cannot let her charithra get sullied by improper accusations. It talks a whole lifetime for a woman to build her reputation, and a man can just shatter it all away in a second?" Jodha's words have been harsh, cutting and long!
"I know I have made a mistake" Jalal pleads, "that why I am ready for you to punish me. But after that please forgive me and come back to Agra with me."
"No Shahenshah" Jodha says with steely determination. "For some apraadhs, any punishment is too small. For some paap any kind of praayaschith seems too small. I simply will not go back to Agra with you. Forgive me, I cannot go with you. I am very happy here with my dignity and sammaan intact. If you even care an iota for my happiness, please stop following me. With great difficulty I have torn myself away from everything, my life in Agra, so please do not pursue me and make my journey more difficult."
All this long while Jalal has been listening to her with a sinking heart, but when she finally folds her hands in prayer to him to leave her alone, and she walks off, he is picture of utter heart-rending dejection. In fact he breathes heavily and stands there for a long while unable to live down the fact that he has lost everything that mattered! He had gone too far and things seemed to be at a close ... I felt for him so much folks, that tears came into my eyes. In fact I cried for both of them for they had made each other bleed! How cruel is love when it goes even mildly wrong!
Jodha then saunters back into her room listlessly a little later and cries before Kanha. She remembers all Jalal's pleading at the waterfront and decides she cannot stay on her longer, she must go from here. She turns her wrath on Kanha and blames him for bringing her all the way here for refuge and then also bringing Jalal here to torture her soul. "Kanha, why does he keep coming near me again and again and then only go far away from again and again?" she cries. "Why do I have to go through this agnipariksha all the time, Kanha? What was missing in my bhakthi, Kanha, that I have to see such days when my "maan" is worthless? Why are you putting me in these strange circumstances all the time?" She cries bitterly with her head down at Kanha's feet ... and then suddenly rises to say with deep inytent "I have to go now from here".
Just there there is furious knocking at her room door. For a moment she thinks it is Jalal again and refuses to open the door. But the persistent knocking of the visitor turns open the door, and in steps her father. Jalal is just behind him (suggesting that Jalal may have been the one to ask her father to intervene). Bharmal hugs his daughter and tells her soothingly "All will be well, my daughter, everything will be okay".
The precap is heart breaking. It looks like Jodha is taking leave of all at the ashram and has decided to go with her father to Amer. She looks a bit happy that her maayka has opened its doors to her. But then her eyes open wide as she sees a forlorn Jalal in front of her with a question in his eyes. "Don't go, Jodha Begum, don't go" he says in his own mind as he looks at her expectanttly. "I have to go. I cannot go back with you. That kind of life I do not want for myself any more" she says to herself.
What will happen from here: my guess
Folks, I think one of three things may happen:
a. Jodha may go to Amer. Bharmal seeing that a separation will only sunder this couple permanently, may tell Jalal to also come to Amer so that slowly the breach between them may be healed. Jalal may agree and Jodha may lay conditions that she does not want anything to do with him at Amer. But still Jalal may take his chances so that he can live alongside of her and show her in actions how much he respects her before he asks again for her love.
b. Jalal may go back to Agra and Jodha may go back to Amer, and they may separated till the "distance makes the heart grow fonder". Maybe he will demonstrate his love and respect for her by abolishing the yathri tax (as in the movie) and earn her regard again as he shows that he too respects all that is dear to her. Maybe she will then go back to him of her own.
c. At the last minute, almost ready to go to Amer, and after saying No to Jalal ... Jodha may suddenly relent and decide to go back to Agra with Jalal but with conditions.
My personal preference - and belief too - is that the first option will happen i.e. he may also go to Amer on Bharmal's intervention. That will serve many good purposes:
1. Jalal will get loads of opportunities to woo Jodha back slowly and build faith in her that he will not repeat his treatment of her
2. Abul Mali and Adham who think Jalal can be attacked on his way back from Agra will draw blanks ... because Jalal goes on to Amer and not Agra
3. At Agra other vultures may try to disturb their relationship just as it is mending, or people like Hamida may put undue pressure to mend the break up fast, which will be counterproductive ... whereas at Amer the family will be supportive and also leave the couple alone without any pressure to either patch up or break up.
Meanwhile Balaji and Ekta continue to say that the consummation scene will happen at the end of April, so that is a question where it will happen ... at Amer, or Agra or on the way?
Channel V Dil Dosti Dance
Arjun
30