Nice discussion,Radhika 👍🏼
I have marked in blue,the points of urs that I thought were very valid😊
U r right,the biggest abuse is not physical abuse,but emotional and social abuse.Social abuse is a scenario where the abuser cuts the victim off from all ppl whom she knew till her marriage(thereby cutting off her support system,as she knew it).OC,it also extends into the abuser not allowing the victim to make any new friends(which Jalal has not done)
As for cutting off her initial support system,Jalal did not do anything intentionally to cut her off from her maika.Her own parents did that to her,which makes the situation worse and Jodha's predicament more pathetic.It makes the victim feel completely helpless and unwanted and the abuser realises that he has complete control over his victim.
Jalal brought her into a system/setup which was completely new to her ,where she had to start from scratch.For all the allowances,he gave her,it was still nowhere close to the culture she knew and was comfortable with.To add to it,after giving her the few allowances he did,he became the magnanimous shehenshah😲.
Drawing parallels in today's society,it could be like taking a small town girl from India and getting her married to a US/UK settled guy.To bring it even closer,let's say the groom was of a different religion and the marriage was done to save her parents from (financial/social)distress.The man allows her to pray to her God and make one phone call a month to India.He gives her a retinue of servants and money(but nowhere to spend it,coz she can't do anything of her own free will).In return for this,he constantly shows her who's the boss(main tumhe sabse bachaoonga,mujhse tumhe kaun bachayega?) and humiliates her.After all this,if we are still waiting for our hero to physically abuse her before he is officially termed an "abuser",then we should take a walk to Mars.
I also agree with you when you say
that is the essence of a person who wants to control his wife - he observes her more, and obsesses over her and her reactions more. It's not that she is exerting the stranglehold on him. He is spinning it around himself. being passionately in love is one thing. but being an obsessive or possessive lover is another
Well said 👏..The person who controls and wants to control obsesses over every movement of his wife.If Jodha exerts any influence over Jalal ,she does it unknowingly,not intentionally.But Jalal wants to control Jodha,he wants her to listen to him(which she does not) and that bugs him big time. I think there is nothing called being passionately in love.I think one can passionately lust for something or be deeply in love.😊.If a person is deeply in love,he will trust his partner.If he trusts his partner,he will not be obsessed over her actions/communication or lack of it. True love means giving space and freedom,not giving red roses and chocolate cakes.Unfortunately,very few ppl realize that.If he has a problem with any action /lack of communication,he would
a)confess the source of his trouble to his partner and resolve the issue(this can be done only when there is mutual trust)
b)let it go,coz he loves and trusts her so much that he knows she cannot do anything wrong(as Jalal claims).In this scenario love has to be unconditional,coz even if the partner is unfaithful,the other person's love does not diminish.This scenario is very rare & would have to be a one way love street.
Our Jallu's character(as being shown now) is a confused one...The lover boy in him trusts Jodha and doesn't want to ask her anything.He is also afraid of losing her if he questions him .(Natural insecurity is initial stages of love) But his ego and controlling nature are creating trouble here.He is hurt that Jodha is doing something without informing/telling him.He is hurt not becoz she is meeting someone,but becoz she chose not to tell it to him 😆.How dare she not inform her husband,the shehenshah?😛.So he is obsessed over the idea that she is hiding something from him,possessive abt her meeting someone else,going through the the fears of a new lover and the insecurity of being ignored.No wonder he is close to breaking point 😆😆
btw,I know this is digressing..but just a few more words
The Darr SRK is an insecure guy who looks to regain his confidence and power by controlling and getting the woman he lusts for..He could be called an obsessive lover(if we stretch the definition of lover a little far and leniently)
The Agni Sakshi Nana Patekar is a sadistic psychopath who gets his only happiness from humiliation and pain inflicted on others..Let us not even dream of calling him any kind of lover,please 😊
Thanks so much and thanks for writing in such great detail! I told you earlier also u write well 😃
You have expressed your POV of Jalal very well. I agree he seems bent on trying to control Jodha at the moment. Though what the motive behind this is can be debated. Many people feel he is passionately in love with her and wants her to reciprocate with the same fervour. And till then he will probably mope around like this, hurting himself and her in the process.
Let's see what others have to say to your post. 😊
CID
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