Originally posted by: lashy
OSR PART 30
1st April
JODHA'S BEDROOM
Flicking the pen within her fingers for a few seconds, the distracted young lady thumped it down on her table thereafter. Picking up the mobile that was lying aside, she glanced at the screen - nope, still no reply. It was the fifth instance in the past hour that she'd checked and the result was the same every time. In fact, it'd been pretty much the same scenario for more than twenty four hours now - a worrying scenario where none of her calls were being picked, none of her texts were being replied to, where he'd left behind no voicemails - nothing! This prolonged silence from him was not the norm! Worse, a 'Something's wrong' feeling had been echoing in her mind ever since she'd woken up that morning - and those instincts only seemed to get worse with time!
Ohh I hate that feeling that something wrong is about to happen or has happened. u feel so restless, ur heartbeats increase and u feel suffocated and cannot concentrate on anything and want to get rid of it somehow and get it over with.
'Jalal...' she groaned as she stared at the lifeless screen on her phone 'Can't you send me one message...just a line that you're fine...a word about Robbie...and I'll be able to get back to my studies again...' studies! Suddenly realizing how her attention had been diverted from her notes for the nth time that day, Jodha let out a long sigh 'Only six days left...concentrate on your journal entries now...no time to waste...'
Luckily; the diligent junior had done her Economics and Marketing revisions well ahead - at the rate she was progressing now she wouldn't have managed to get much done if otherwise.
Picking up her pen once again, she attempted to get back to Financial Accounts - she needed to speed up! Two gargantuan texts on Statistical Methodology were sitting on her desk, untouched - and the 1st semester exams were less than a week away!
Such last minute cramming was unusual for this meticulous student. However, her circumstances had been exceptional this time around.
Ever since the news had come out, she - along with the rest of their group - had tried to be by his side throughout. True, she'd only managed to meet him and Robbie a couple of times in the past ten days - the ongoing study leave meant she was mostly housebound. However, that didn't stop her. She regularly called up to check on him , she sent him encouraging texts, she kept in touch with his friends. In the few brief spells that Jalal needed his 'alone' time to mourn, she took a step back and let him be - while dropping him an empathetic 'I'm there if and when you need me' email to show she understood. In fact, Jodha had left no stone unturned in showing her support all ways that she could.
It must be hard for her not as much as Jalal but to know when, what and how to support jalal and yet give space when he needs it.
However, what was to happen - was to happen. Robbie was in constant physical agony and being a helpless witness to his pet's deteriorating condition was sapping away all of Jalal's sanity. Adding to his woes were the numerous vet-visits and the plethora of see-sawing news he'd been receiving
'We could try out a surgery...' 'No, he's too old for surgery' 'There is a new medicine in the market' 'The cancer is too advanced for any chance of a recovery' 'He looks better today' 'No improvement today'
Ups and downs of hope is worse than to know once and for all.
With the situation being as it was, it was obvious Jalal wasn't able to get much reading-up done, either.
'Oh God...' she looked up from her entries and at the beautiful face of Ladoo Gopal on the wall in front - the 'something's wrong' feeling had just returned to haunt her psyche again 'We can't change what's happening...but, please give HIM the strength to face this...or at least, allow ME to help him face this tragedy... this impasse is killing me...please let me know what's happ...'
Even before she could finish that prayer, her mobile received a message alert. Hurriedly grabbing the instrument she opened the inbox. It was from HIM!
Fearing the worst, she clicked on the sms
Following a short interval of sullen stillness, she forced her grieving mind to snap out of the overpowering distress that the text had just engulfed her in. She needed to steel herself - at least, for HIS sake! Clutching her handbag, the benumbed young lady got up and rushed out - a hundred different thoughts racing past her mind as she did so
Omg, robbie passed away ?😕
'Jodha...' the puzzled mother mother called out, when noticing her daughter picking up her helmet and scooty keys 'What are you doing? Where are you off to now...' she paused 'And why do you look so disturbed?'
'Something bad has happened mama...' Jodha spoke blankly 'One of my friends... needs me now...I'll be late for dinner...I have my mobile... don't worry...'
THE MUHAMMED HOUSEHOLD
'When did it happen?' she gasped as soon as the profile of the pleasant woman emerged from behind the entrance door 'How's he taking it, aunty?' the perturbed junior was still catching up on her breath - even she knew not how she'd managed to make that frenzied ride from home through rush hour traffic within twenty five minutes flat!
Noticing the haphazardly parked scooty on the porch, Mrs.Banu's somber glimpses fell back upon Jodha's pallor-ridden features 'Come in beta...' her tone was wistful 'It happened this morning...at about 11...'
The mother then accompanied Jodha inside - bringing her up to date on the unfortunate happenings as they made their way through the grand living room. Once they'd reached the marble steps that led to the first floor, she stopped in her tracks and looked upwards - in the direction of her son's room 'He hasn't spoken much to anyone ever since...maybe he'll open up to you...'
'I understand...' she nodded with reassuring frown 'Don't worry...I'll talk to him, aunty...'
Just curious does Jalal's mom know Jodha and Jalal are dating?
JALAL'S BEDROOM
Having stood at the doorway for a good while watching his sorry state, she'd sought to muster all forms of strength to help her handle the troubling circumstances. She NEEDED to! The slumped figure of the 'lost' man seated at one end of his bed was such a disturbing contrast to his commanding personality and upbeat self otherwise.
'Hey' she uttered hushly thereafter, closing the door behind her
'Come in Jodha' he barely looked up
'What are you looking at?' she enquired gently - seeing how his glances hadn't wavered even once from his mobile screen in the past ten minutes
Jalal waited for her to take a seat beside him 'He was in too much pain Jodha...the medicines, the check ups and the travelling was not helping him in anyway... I couldn't see him suffer any more... so I decided to let him go...' he finally went on to show her the screen he'd been guarding so closely
Swallowing back her tears, Jodha received the phone from him - it was evidently a picture taken that morning at the clinic - a picture of Robbie seated on Jalal's lap
'That's his last moment awake' Jalal disclosed with a barren expression looming over his face 'That's the look he gives me when he wants something from me...when I lifted him upon my lap, he thought I was going to help him out of his problems like always...that I was going to put an end to his misery...' he paused 'How was he to know I was going to end his misery by putting him to sleep forever... by ending his life...'
awww- my poor Jalal and robbie . u know because of my fear of dogs, i don't get really sentimental about dogs but robbie and his death did touch me and felt emotional especially after reading italicized part.
'God!' she felt like wailing aloud - his aggrieving confessions were too painful to deal with. She'd come here to be his pillar of fortitude and yet she could already find herself crumbling under the strain of the tragedy. Well, nothing could prepare her for the heartache that the loss of a loved one caused since she'd never endured such mishap before. As her eyes started welling up, she took a few silent deep breaths so she didn't break down any further than she had at that point
'I didn't cheat him out of his life, right?' Jalal glimpsed up at her with a blank stare
'No Jalal' Jodha wiped the tear blurring her sight, before placing her palm on his shoulder 'You're the best friend he could have ever had...' she phrased her condolences carefully 'Something tells me he is very grateful for the decision you've taken...since he really IS out of his misery now...'
Jodha is very supportive and assuring.
Shrugging slightly, he shifted his attention away from her and to the bleak white wall facing him - too distraught to say anything else for then.
Aware of what he was going through, Jodha allowed him a few minutes of solitude while she continued staring at the adorable picture of Robbie on the phone. A poignant thought struck her thereafter and she sent the snap as an attachment to her own mobile. She knew what she wanted to do with those precious memories.
Ensuing the period of nothingness between them, Jodha patted his hand to show her sympathy. However, he didn't even flinch.
'Jalal' she called out to him softly 'Don't beat yourself up about this...you're a practical man... you know how to differentiate between right and wrong...and sadly, this was how God willed it...'
He didn't react to her words.
Worried, she observed her boyfriend closely - trying to understand his mindset. It was obvious he'd become paralyzed by the sorrow and was unable to come out of it. As far as she knew he hadn't shed a single tear yet - not then - not in the past three weeks. In fact, he hadn't responded gravely to the news at all - he hadn't wailed, sniffled, screamed or broken down even once!
Picking up his lifeless palm thereon, she placed it on her lap and curled her fingers within his. It was more for her sake than for his. She missed the warmth. She needed that warmth. It felt like ages since they'd held hands now - or even properly met eyes for that matter. For the past three weeks, he'd detached himself from everything and everyone around him. For the past three weeks, he'd steadily built a cold hard shell around him that let nothing within.
Playfully twirling around the rings on his fingers, she whispered to him some time later - the pain in her voice evident 'Jalal...you know...its ok to express your feelings to someone...to share your grief...to cry...it is not a sign of weakness...it is only a sign of being human!'
'I didn't cry even when Abbu passed away' came the flat answer- WHAT ?
She stared at him in alarm 'W...what...' she couldn't believe it 'B...but why are you so wary of exposing your soft side to others?'
'Because I somehow became numb...to death...'
Looking away from the wall to gaze at her delicate fingers that'd abruptly stopped playing with his rings, he continued on a wry note 'Returning from a friend's house one fine day...to unexpectedly witness the shattering sight of your mother beating her chest and wailing aloud over the dead body of your father, right in the middle of your own living room...can you imagine what effect that would have on a boy...' OMG, poor Jalal- that's the biggest shock someone can have .😭
'What!' Jodha exclaimed, hearing the upsetting subject he'd just broached. She could envision the harrowing 'living room' scene just as he'd described - leaving her with an ominous sense of discomfort. She'd never heard him speak of this aspect of his past before - not till then, that is.
The dazed young man pursued with his story - his eyes still fixated on their intertwined hands 'That horrid scene sent a carefree twelve year old into shock... that boy wasn't told what'd happened or why because people thought he was too young to deal with the truth... instead, they bought him toys to distract him... he didn't understand why his mother was suddenly absent from home for long hours because no one bothered to inform him that she was fighting battles in court... no one explained to him that his father had been murdered by goons ... goons sent by a politician owning a rival chain of companies... that young boy actually found out about it from the TV channels!'
WHAT?😲 he was murdered? Shraddha kitne shocks dogi tum
'Your abbu was murdered?' she gasped, but her voice didn't come out. She needed him to stop right then so she could take a breather - to muster the nerve to hear him out further. She'd asked him open his heart out - how was she to know it had such terrible pain suppressed within? For a second, her own dad's face came to mind. HIS misfortune made her realize how fortunate SHE was to still have her father in her life. The anguish she'd kept under control so long started resurfacing. Tears gushed down her cheeks.
Please tell me she is not going to start moving away from him slowly bec of italicized part above.😕
Oblivious to her plight, he persevered towards the end of this tragic tale - his handsome face still devoid of any expression Since the little boy was too young to feel angry or do anything about the news he'd found out, he just became bitter and numb...at that point, he'd stopped talking to anyone...he'd stopped sharing his misery ... he'd stopped asking questions because he never got answers ...and his Ammi didn't even notice because she was so crushed herself...he felt like both his parents had been taken away from him for no fault of his... his happy home had been wrecked...he felt cheated...he was alone for a long time...'
I really do not know he dealt with all this..this is too much to handle for a young boy.
'Jalal' she sobbed now, covering her mouth in horror 'This is...'
'And when Taayaa eventually realized what was happening to this twelve year old nephew of his...he decided to get him a companion...' he held his palms up to show her 'He put this little dog in his arms and asked that child to care for it...the dog was a clever German Shepherd who could read that desolate boy's mind and sentiments so well...and the boy and the pet became emotionally dependant on one another since then...'
At long last, Jalal looked up to meet eyes with his tearful girl as he went on to mutter the final disclosure 'Robbie was my kid brother...the one who got me out of loneliness and despair ...and now he's no more...I...' he couldn't get himself to continue anymore - the awful lump in his throat was too acute to overcome. So, he averted her sights for a moment
Robbie was just not a pet and friend but his kid brothr, companion and confidant...
Stressed by battling the effect that the heartbreaking tale was having upon her, Jodha leaned against his shoulder for support 'Why...' she wept 'Why have you never mentioned any of this...'
'No' he calmly shook his head 'This is not something I like to talk about...apart from Abdul no one knows... they only know that Abbu's no more...' turning aside, he observed her face that was resting on his shoulder and let out a heavy-hearted smirk 'Now do you understand why I'd said I don't deal with the loss of a loved one very well?' make perfectly sense why he said that day.
Yes, she understood now. He'd bared his soul to her and she could absorb precisely why he was hurting so much. The revelation had not only moved her to tears, but given the woman in her a newfound respect for her man.
Unceasingly studying those deep brown eyes, she went on to confess in a sincere tone 'You know Jalal...I am so so so so so so so so much prouder of you...despite all this, you've grown up to become such a dignified man...'
This is amazing. I completely agree with Jodha. just for my jalal, ❤️ he could have gone stray or into depressions and what not but he became Jalal, all-in-one- mr.right.
'Thanks' he acknowledged
'Yes' Jodha sighed 'But, are you feeling any better...any lighter?'
The fatigued young man exhaled 'Actually, I have a splitting headache now...'
'Oh!' she sat up slowly 'Wait...I'll get you something for it...'
Hurrying to his bedside table, Jodha dug out a medicine strip from within its drawer, grabbed the water bottle sitting atop and returned to his side 'Here...jaldi lo...' she handed him both
'Thankyou' removing two tablets from the strip, he gulped down the medicines with the drink - before setting the bottle down on the floor 'Somehow...Robbie's death brought back all those nightmares... again...'
'No' she grimaced 'Don't delve upon those nightmares...' she sat down, resuming her place next to him 'You're not alone now...you have so many who love you...your Ammi...your family... your friends... and most of all...' trying to recall the very adjectives he'd used for his late friend Robbie, she pursued with concern 'You now have another companion...someone who you care for... someone who can read your mind and sentiments so well...someone who's emotionally dependant on you and someone whom you're emotionally dependant upon...'
I thought for a sec, this was going to scare him away that he is getting atatched to Jodha like he was to robbie and will build wall around him but glad he proved me wrong.
'Ya Allah' a quiet shudder went down his spine when he heard how she'd put her thoughts across. Her comforting words were not just about being 'sweet' - something in them brought home a significant underlying message. It was about keeping up hope. If life took away, life gave back too! Abbu had passed away - but, God had given him Robbie. He'd taken away Robbie - but, not without handing him an angel like her in place.
exactly Jalal, u have jodha now.😊
The slightest smile erupted on his face - the first earnest one in the past three weeks. He beheld her with gratitude - his aloof gazes now beginning to soften.
Discovering their original warmth gradually returning to his eyes and his smiles, she was whelmed with a massive sense of relief. Freshly tearing-up, she counselled on an emotional note 'Jalal don't return to those thoughts...they affect you so much... seeing you so low... I... I just can't...function normally...'
'Why?' he asked - realizing how fortunate was he to have such a dedicated partner by his side in happiness AND in grief!
'Arre kyaa WHY' she frowned 'It's something like our sigma formulas na...' she paused 'MY well-being = Sum total of YOUR (health + happiness + love + success) / timescales...'
awww- so cute, Jodha. I am loving this Jodha too- she has been absolutely fantastic while supporting Jalal emotionally so for u jodha 👏
While she awaited a response from him following that silly-cute formula she'd come up with out of the blue, he just sat back agape - staring and staring on.
God! He loved her that instant like he'd loved none other. Her sincerity had touched him immensely. He was awed by such words that no one else had ever told him. Such a lasting impact had her gestures had on him that he knew not what overcame him that second.
Suddenly leaning forth, he took his unwitting girlfriend by surprise. Clutching the side of her face, he planted his lips on hers. 😲 A kiss - really?😊
'Jala...Ammi... might...' her words came out muffled, as she balanced her wrists against his shoulders in trepidation
Sensing her hesitance, he pulled away - a bit - and watched her closely.
Her cheeks still enveloped by his clasp, she surveyed him in stunned silence. That kiss had come out of nowhere. It was their most intimate experience yet and it'd left her feeling jittery and strange. She didn't know what to make of this unfamiliar nervousness within. Continuing to analyze his ardent gazes and the visible affection in them, she could make out that he longed to share that intimacy with her. Even if she was unsure whether to proceed, she didn't have it in her to resist such love! She couldn't thwart his anticipation - especially not after all he'd just been through! After all, she was his and he hers. So, fighting her anxiety she shut her eyes. Seeking support by lovingly grasping his palm that was sitting on her cheek, she let him take her through the thrilling wave of unknown emotions. So jodha is debating if to go for a kiss,I knew she won't be all ready but glad did not jerk him off. see if it was not for the underlined sentence, it would have been more for Jalal's sake,she was letting him kiss but @underlined- tells that she wanted it too bec of love seen in his eyes for her.
Reading her positive reactions, he took the lead and tenderly went ahead to delve into their first proper kiss. Just as she let out an exhilarated sigh, their lips retouched - the moment being a cathartic one for him. Her drying tears that swept off on his cheeks emotionally liberated him - it felt as though she'd shed the tears that he couldn't shed for himself. The fervent heat of her lips had just given his colder ones some much needed warmth. The simmering intensity in her gasps had breathed life into his dull spirits.
This is by far the best description of kiss I have read in JA forum which is based on EMOTIONS and not on romance, passions or desire. Shraddha, really kudos to u!👏 I am not saying other kisses described in JA forum was not best but this is one is more of an emotional kiss.
His senses now roused, he decided to take the passion up a few notches. He'd craved for this for so long and now that he had her in his arms he didn't want to stop - after all, she tasted just as delightful as she was herself. Sliding one hand around her waist he smoothly dug the other into the thick tresses at the back of her head and pulled her towards him.
Gosh, it is getting hot in here 😳
Suddenly finding herself drawn into the tighter confines of his steely grasp, Jodha was overwhelmed - more so by her puzzling feelings that followed. She was entrapped within a frenzied surge of emotions but, it was a trap she wasn't really looking to free herself from anymore. Her apprehensions had started fading away and she found herself increasingly hypnotized by the lure of his physicality. Her desire was beginning to conquer many doubts and dilemmas. For the first time in her life, she knew what it meant to be aroused - and the sensations were literally addicting.
@italics - u have beautifully described jodha's thoughts.
Eventually letting her guard down, she slipped her fingers delicately into his soft hair - allowing his lips to discover hers and more - allowing him to to guide her through their first sensual kiss.
THEY finally had their first sensual kiss.
A few minutes later, the breathless couple took a break - they could perceive each other's racing beats and heightened excitement in the stillness of the room.
A playful smile on their lips, they indulged in a brief spell of affection - letting the tips of their noses gently brush past one another's. A few seconds later, Jalal spoke up 'The last time this was meant to happen Robbie interrupted us, remember?'
@italics- just loved that part of nose brushing past each other- uff 😳
She nodded, slowly
'And this time, he brought us back together...'
She smiled - it was a sad yet sweet thought that'd struck him.
'Love you pal' Jalal glimpsed upwards with a doting frown 'You were the best friend a guy could have ever asked for...' while she watched his positive farewell in quiet awe, he turned back to his girl 'And Jo...you're more than a companion to me...you're my love...the kind that lasts forever...'
awww.
'Yes...' she melted, putting her palm on his chest - just about where she could feel his heartbeats 'I live here Jalal... and I'm going to be here forever...'
so sweeet and romantic -😳
In the hush gazes that followed between the two, Jodha detected something fresh in his eyes thereafter - a renewed surge of passion had made its way in. Knowing exactly what his intentions were, she nervously averted his infatuated looks at once. Smiling at her adorable abashment, he patiently waited for her to meet eyes with him again - and they did so, in a short while.
Before long; he'd heaved her by her waist towards him once more, as his lips sought hers. Closing her eyes, she succumbed - tightly clutching the shirt on his back for support. The besotted pair plunged into another intense bout of intimacy, reliving the pleasure they'd just savoured - and much more - till they could no further.
ooohhh - they passionated made out- ☺️ GO jODHA AND JALAL!
THE MUHAMMED HOUSEHOLD - ON THE PORCH
No sooner than she'd hurriedly waved her boyfriend off, Jodha turned ahead and pressed her chest. She needed some means to help calm her heartbeats - something that'd shown no signs of slowing down yet.
Nope, didn't work.
'Bah' she dismissed her crazily erratic heart rate soon after. She had no time for this now - she better get going. Neatening out her hair, Jodha was about to slip her helmet on, but decided to peek into the side mirror first. Her lips were the first feature to catch her attention then. Observing them closely for a few seconds, she went on to touch them. They felt so different now - the onslaught had left them slightly tender - but, not in an unpleasant way.
Ohh jodha- i think almost all people especially girls feel this way.😳
'My God' she exclaimed in disbelief, as it all came back to her
She still couldn't believe it. Not only had she actually crossed her personal boundaries that evening - she'd actually found the whole encounter somewhat 'enjoyable' too. Gosh! She had no idea what was happening to her. She'd always considered herself above all this - as one who couldn't and wouldn't be swayed by desire. She had never even dreamt that she'd be a part of the kind of scenarios she was indulging in right now.
I cannot believe this is the same Jodha from first few chapters but hey this is what happens in love- a beautiful feeling to be in love❤️
Then again, she had never ever dreamt that she'd end up with a boyfriend like Jalal Muhammed in college either! LUCKY her! not me 😭😆
Having got her answer there, Jodha slipped her helmet on - breaking out into a sly grin as she did so.
***********************************************
Hope you enjoyed it😳
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