FF: The Emperor's Harem [Ch6 p.14] - Page 3

No air in the room was enough to rid her off the stuffed feeling in her chest. She was gasping for a hold on reality, if it even existed. This was a dream, she assured herself. Surely, she couldn't be lucky enough to face her lover again.

"Is that really you love?" she stifled her tears and reached for him. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

But before she could feel his touch again, the spiteful begum blocked her again.

"A mere concubine dare not look His Grace in the eye let alone call his name. You have the audacity to call him your lover. You have to be punished!"

Quick. Grasp the situation Jodha! What is happening? Where is this place? Why are these people so strange? Why is this angry looking bitch yelling at you?

"Jane bhi do Rukaiya. Chalo, raat bahut ho gayi hai", he laughed unwittingly and offered me a pitying glance. My heart sank deeper in the myriad of emotions. I swallowed back the dryness lingering in my mouth. This wasn't real. My honey would wake me up any minute now. Sooha and his dad would be back at the alter with the ring. This was a sleep terror. I was certain.

"Nahi Jalal", the spiteful woman barked. "Mallika-e-begum ki shaan mein gustakhi karne ki himmat har kisi mein nahin hai. Iss naacheez ko toh aaj hum sabak sikha ke rahenge".

She flashed her anger and a line of servants appeared with torture tools in hand. She picked up the heaviest looking metal whip and handed it to emperor.

"Rukaiya bas! Yeh auraton ka mamla hai. Hum beech mein nahi padenge". Although he tried to spare me the pain by dismissing her, I felt his rejection pine through my heart. With one inaction, he had erased the existence of our entire relationship. It was then that I vowed to love him anyway.

With hits and blows leaving marks on my scaled skin, I realized life would never be the same. My husband was dead, my child brutally killed. But I would have to live. I would have to survive for the sake of their reminders- our unborn twins. I realized what was in front of me was but an illusion. This cruel, lustful man watching my beatings with apathy could never be my husband. I could never love him. My love had died. But I would have to live. My whole had died but a half would have to rise. My Sooha was no longer but my twins were soon to be.

I wrapped my hands around my belly guarding the innocent lives kicking inside.

"Agli baar yeh himaakat ki toh..."

The woman never finished her sentence. She laughed like a maniac when I pursed my lips together in pain. I made an effort not to show my pain. The tears had dried long ago. There was no strength left in me to scream. It hurt too much to open my eyes and see the loathsome mirror of my love laden in apathy. From a first glance, you couldn't possibly tell I was struggling. It would seem just another day in the harem if not for the sweat beaded on my forehead.

The emperor scooted down to my level and inquired of my condition. I spoke nothing. He repeated himself to no avail. I could not be bothered. No, I dared not answer this man who'd undone me once again. I was falling, down the moutains, up from the hills, into dark valleys, hell holes. With his breath heating the hairs on my neck, I was struggling to stay conscious. He reached for my arms and uncrossed their tangles.

"She isn't hitting your abdomen", he said. "You've got your back to worry about".

He laughed, that despicable smirk yet again. Suddenly, vomit gushed out from a pit of my stomach barely contained by the walls of my mouth. I turned away from him fearing the worst. One last hit and I could not control the rush any longer. The remains of our frozen pizza dinner from the wedding rehearsal fell spat on the floor. I sat wide mouthed, staring at his fuming features. He stood up first. Then, raised his hand at me.

"Jalal!"

A stern voice stopped his muscle mid air.

"Rukaiya!"

The mother queen announced herself. I recalled back to history class. The empress of late Humayun was known to be a kind soul. Perhaps she could help me if I told her about my pregnancy. Then again, who would against the son who holds the key to the kingdom of India?

"The child just arrived in the harem. I can see she is dazed and confused and scared. Why are you two ganging up on her? Look what you did to her!"

She petted my head like I was a goat or a meek puppy alive at her mercy. And that wasn't far from the truth. She was royalty and I a life worth less than the goat on her dinner table. I tried smiling but it came out more like stale cries. I was like the wounded soldier about be pushed over the edge by an little touch, or sound.

"I see you were married".

She looked at Sooha's baby pictures on a keychain I did not know I was clutching on to. I didn't have time to break down again so I simply nodded. She must have wondered how realistic this "painting" was but let the conversation go for more important details.

"What about your husband?"

"He...died".

"And your son?"

"He's dead too".

"Your clothes look different", she pointed to my burgundy wedding saari . You're not from here, are you?"

"No. I live in Mumbai...I mean I am Marathi".

"It's good that you're family is dead, you know. The King's concubines don't keep other men, understand?" The empress roared in a sharp tone. I don't know what made her angry but she was clearly targeting me when she said her next words. "All the children in the harem are the emperor's sons and daughters. Another man's blood, another man's life will get nothing but dead, understand?"

The royal family bolted out of the room leaving me alone with my crushed hope. There was no way my babies were safe in this harem. I would have to get strong enough to run away.