Posted:
Dr.Neil Khanna
MD(cardiologist)
That's me...my greatest achievement in life...being a good doctor...being a proficient surgeon who knows his job like the back of his hand.probably that's the only thing that has kept me going through all that I have been through.My work is my passion.Being emotionless serves good for my profession.I can remain detached from the suffering of my patients yet could give them the hope and many times also a cure for their ailments. Brooding over the past is not for me.
But still while I am immersed in my work,I do become a bit nostalgic.
Some patients remind me of my Dadaji,who was my most beloved person.Their families remind me of my family,which was once a very happy one.The unconditional love between my patients and their spouses,their kids,their desire to live through all the hardships,reminds me of my wife and kids and our struggles which we faced while raising our kids when we were together.
Yes,I have been married again,to the only love of my life.I feel peaceful at last.
I am currently living with her in her home,with my kids.
It feels a bit out of place.Am not used to spicy food either.But somehow I am loving every bit of it.I know it has been hard for Ragini,who is so emotional,to put on a facade of being this strong woman who can face any storm,to look after her family,in this era in which worldly things determine the worth of a person.The person who provides more to his/her family in terms of materialistic comforts is more wanted than a genuinely caring person who truly wishes well for you.
My kids Nishi and Aarav do love their mother but I guess they missed me during their growing up years,so they have this soft corner for me.This may also be some sort of rebellion to their mother's attitude which is borderline bossy.
Pam seems to be very happy and too eager to live in this setup but I am truly perplexed by her behaviour sometimes,and her total transformation from a nagging snob to a caring and loving sister-in-law to her Ragini "BHABHI".
My life at this point is perhaps offering me a second chance to maybe becoming a good father atleast if not a good husband.I know it's a contract marriage but still I was always married to Ragini in my mind.
This does not make much of a difference,except for the fact that I can use it as a shield to hide my truly feelings.But for how long will this lame thing continue I certainly have no idea.
I feel guilty about being so mean to Nivedita but can't help it as she's so clingy and I don't feel that she loves me at all..or to be honest I don't love her at all.
Getting Nishi and Jignesh back together, has led to us being back with each other.
As of now I want this contract marriage to go on forever,but only if Ragini wants it,too.
Vanshaj
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Udne Ki Aasha
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