shabz50 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#1
My first attempt at a FF never written before. I know its not very good but wanted to try would appreciate ur comments and feedback. I can only see neira together and happy
Neira FF

Ragini came out of the doctors with a smile on her face she couldn't wait to tell nackihet but before that she had to pick ranbir and nishi up.

At the hospital
Nachiket was busy and another emergency rolled in just when he was getting ready to go home and spend some time with his life Ragini and their two angles he sighed this was going to be a long night and picked the phone up.

At home:
Ragini was feeding the kids when the phone rang it was nachiket "hi ragini" he sounded tired he had been working hard these last few days. I am going to be late i have a emergency her heart dropped she was waiting to tell him "its ok" she said he knew she was disappionted he had not seen his family properly for a few days he said sorry and hung up.

About 2am.
He finally arrived home its was dark he threw his blazer on the sofa and walked into the kitchen dinner was on the table two places set out she had not eaten she was waiting for him like always. He had a glass of water and went into the bedroom and saw his whole life in front of him his jaan asleep with their two angles he quietly went into the bathroom and changed. He pulled the quilt over ranbir and nishi and ragini he slid in behind her careful not to wake her he kissed her goodnight she stirred she knew her jaan was home she grabbed his arm and wrapped around it herself.

Morning
The kids were up first they woke their mom up and nishi asked where is papa? Ragini looked he was not there maybe he was in the bathroom then she saw the note "sorry jaan had to rush to the hospital" tears welled up in her eyes but she had to get kids ready for school she would deal with him later.

Hospital
Nachiket arrived and told his PA to cancel everything this afternoon he was only see to this emergency then he was going home he had a lot of making up to do.

Edited by shabz50 - 10 years ago

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TianaWrites thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#2
This is very nice 😊 . A most realistic scene. I want to see how Nachiket makes up. Please update soon.
poetic thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#3
Oh Shabz, thanks for writing. You should absolutely continue this.
I am waiting for the next part.

Waiting to see how good a kid Nachi Baba is ! 😊
goldstar678 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#4
This is so unfair,
Such small update,but anyhow welcome to the writers club n u nailed it,looking forward to next update n curious to know what he will do for his Ragini

shabz50 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#5
Second update.


Afternoon
Nachiket had finished and heading to the car he rung Ragini she was not angry just sad nachiket seemed distant these last few days maybe it was the pressure of work or something else? Her phone rang it was nachiket "Hi Ragini i will pick the kids up do u need anything from the market" "no nachiket thank u" she was happy he was at least cuming home early today. She would tell him tonight.

School
He had arrived early and was waiting when he saw his angel nishi running towards him he just grabbed her and hugged her how he had missed her these last few days he kissed her and she was so happy to see her papa. Next stop to pick ranbir up he placed her in the back and put her seatbelt on and drove to ranbirs school ranbir was waiting and nachiket got out and walked towards ranbir he just ran upto his papa and hugged him and cried nachiket was shocked. I am sorry papa the last time he had seen his papa they had argued. He kneeled down and wiped his sons tears "hey what u saying" "i said i hated u papa thats why u not been at home the last few days" this hurt nachiket how could his son think that. "No ranbir thats not true i have just been busy at work honestly i love u beta lets go home"

Home
Ragini was in the kitchen when she heard the commotion her jaans were home she walked into the room and saw ranbir running towards her and nishi in nachikets arms she was a proper daddys girl he put her down and walked towards her but she ingnored him and walked towards nishi he had a lot of making up to do he smirked.

Nishis room
Ragini was helping her get changed she could feel his presence he was just standing their looking at her going about her work when ranbir came in mama i am hungry chalo beta i will get u something to eat chalo nishi she walked straight past him into the kitchen.

Kitchen
Ragini got their food ready nishi and ranbir finished and asked if they could watch tv and ragini said only one hour then homework. This was his chance she was washing up he sneaked up behind her and wrappped his arms around her waist she shuddered he still had that affect on her. "Let me go nachiket" she was still angry he said "no ragini i am sorry i have not been home a lot lately i promise it will change" i have heard that before"
All comments and suggestions to improve are welcome. I know this is not good as the other FF but just writing what i would like to see.
TianaWrites thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#6
Very beautiful 👏 . I liked Nachiket bonding with the kids. Now how is he going to pacify Ragini? Please write soon 😊
goldstar678 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#7
Who told you this is not good Shabz.i loved it.the scene of him picking his kids from school and Ragini ignoring him is just wonderful.

Sorry if my first comments were a bit harsh,i never expected such quick part 2 update from you and hence i wrote like that.

Nachiket has lot of work to do to manafoy Ragini.
ronitfan thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#8
Shabz
Before I write anything else - please update the topic of the FF otherwise people will miss the fact that you've posted the second update as well.. otherwise just add the second update in the original post as well :)

About the story - of course it is beautiful!!
Those moments we never got to see.. and I am sure having the twins must have been their biggest surprise and biggest challenge because they already had two kids by then! <3

This is lovely!! Please keep writing..
They are such jaanus :)
shabz50 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: goldstar678

Who told you this is not good Shabz.i loved it.the scene of him picking his kids from school and Ragini ignoring him is just wonderful.

Sorry if my first comments were a bit harsh,i never expected such quick part 2 update from you and hence i wrote like that.

Nachiket has lot of work to do to manafoy Ragini.


Hi ur comments were not harsh thank u for liking it third part will be up tonight
shabz50 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: ronitfan

Shabz

Before I write anything else - please update the topic of the FF otherwise people will miss the fact that you've posted the second update as well.. otherwise just add the second update in the original post as well :)

About the story - of course it is beautiful!!
Those moments we never got to see.. and I am sure having the twins must have been their biggest surprise and biggest challenge because they already had two kids by then! <3

This is lovely!! Please keep writing..
They are such jaanus :)


Thank u Sukhi will do that. Just something i was think about third part will be up soon a twist cuming

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