Resurgence | Arshi FF | Thread 3 | Thread 4 link updated on Page 150 - Page 116

Originally posted by: Mrieshka

Honestly I don’t want to go in detail reply as I respect your opinion about Khushi. I have obviously different take on khushi.

she did not agree to marry Shyam due to her anger. She only agreed to meet him first of all, and she refused after meeting him . She was doing that because of her parents and situation in her town and social issues. She had no hopes left from Arnav, because according to her, he has already moved on with someone else.

I am surprised that you can let go off multiple mistakes of Arnav and poor communication even though his intentions was right, but on the other hand, you are so harsh on khushi and expect a lot from her.

Anyway, it just hurts me more being a woman coming from woman like that but again, I don’t want to have a long discussion about this. Please don’t get offended as its nothing personal and at the end of the day we all have our own perspective. My sentiments are purely based on behavior of character in the story.

There is nothing personal, I am also coming from my understanding of the characters and the story told till now!!!

Khushi got married to Arnav who treated her with all the love and respect. They had less money and he had loads of responsibilities but he still was a very considerate husband. Who loved and cherished her they had developed a strong bond with love and trust. Arnav was ambitious and worked really hard to meet the ends but still tried his best to look after her needs , made time whenever possible. The timelines are around when I also got married and my husband worked for tcs I can tell you they use to really drain ppl . Holidays were considered luxury and they paid peanuts. Being from small town and being a housewife, I relate to khushi more , so adjusting in little money comes naturally she was no daughter of rich man . She fell in love with him no wonder , I did too , when dowry was big thing in our areas. My husband is from kanpur!!! there was no demand from their side(same like Arnav), helped me with household chores even after working so hard at office. The friends party was my story ,I also wore saree.... She met payal and came to know about anamika , that made her a little insecure and somewhere in her mind that she is not his equal ,my story!!!! thousands of assurances verbal and non-verbal failed to help me let go of that completely at times still rears its head...so khushi's gawar thinking comes from there. She till 2013 december led a happy married life ,loving her husband and being cherished by him.

But now her story takes a turn ,something happened and Arnav's family gets disintegrated somehow he is blamed for something by his father. This is a big blow to a man who is burning his midnight oil for the same family. Something turned him bitter, from Arnav's musings we know that it's something he cannot tell khushi (may be it's his fault but i will wait for past to come out). She is the one who is bridging , we see she is loved by her in-laws so it's again something we women do , Arnav had no problem with her doing that till the issues around baby came. Now starts some fights regarding this , Arnav till then has himself not realised his issues on this topic. He doesn't want children, this is something in my understanding threw him off the kilter . Khushi of course wants children and is bewildered by Arnav's sudden volte-face ,she of course fights back for her rights to be a mother. Now comes bigger challenge as he being a self blaming and responsible person finds it really hard to even understand his own difficulty let alone ,discuss it with khushi. Now suddenly things start falling apart his family is again expecting him to do something and he is finding it hard , for a man who did everything possible to fulfil the wishes of his loved ones and is still blamed for something(we don't yet know) it's a massive problem. Unfortunately this includes khushi equally and her wishes are genuine and approved by everyone as its NORMAL, he is now alone in this . Not able to do right by his wife who he loves makes him paralysed with guilt , a non-communicator already its hard for him to understand let alone tell Khushi. In his musings we constantly see that he felt he was her culprit and thought he didn't love her anymore otherwise why is he not able to give her one thing she wanted. Not knowing what to answer he starts running away from questions(His major failure) . Now coming to khushi ,her world suddenly turns upside down , she is clueless as to what went wrong and rationally wants to discuss and thinks he will come around. Things go bad to worse ,both of them couldn't find a solution , mental health is not a topic anyone is even thinking . To her suddenly Arnav is distant and to him khushi is unhappy because he couldn't agree for a baby. Then comes the pill thing , By now khushi is making up her mind that she might never have children, when he first proposes for a child her hopes go up but they crash immediately by his body language. She thinks she will have her Arnav back while trying for a child , this is what her major failure is . That increased the guilt in him many folds , he felt guilty of feeling relived every time test failed. I don't know how is that acceptable ...that backfires but she still keeps mum about the pills ,even when he leaves the bedroom that's where she failed to understand his love for her. This has been my bug bear and I won't ever take it lightly . After this Arnav's believe strengthens now he has proves as well . He contemplates of letting her go, he told aakash the same but ends up kissing khushi the same night , she didn't oppose him smoking another indication. He should have discussed it with khushi , yes he was about to after she would come back from lucknow . He was sure of loosing his family and everyone dear to him with khushi. He never thought of moving on from khushi , his will proves that ,but wished for her to live a fulfilling life. he became too stressed and the whole thing fell on face in light of what happen in panchgani. Now think about a man who was feeling guilty and self kicking himself for not able give in to her desire of child, this had killed his soul. Rest all is him firefighting. But in his every thought there is khushi, his will is the proof of it. He was waiting for the parents to come yes he got selfish to see them once before everything is taken away from him , but his main thought was that khushi would have her loved ones around when he breaks her heart.

Khushi in the light of his behaviour for whole year and especially the last month that preceded their anniversary combined with the photos and Aman’s silence and Arnav confirming her about lawyers , drew her own conclusions. The all important talk now was lost because this time khushi didn’t want to talk.

She in her anger confirmed his worst fears that she is not happy with him anymore and left him without listening his side (I don’t blame her for this, just stating the facts). Also I don’t agree with the decisions she took after she left (she was a woman of substance not naïve 19 years old girl who was to be sacrificed in the name of her parents honor)and Arnav had no hand in those. It was her inherent nature to please everyone that led her here. This time she stonewalled him. They acted same way in a hurtful situation. Arnav’s is self- inflicted because of his mental issues which most of the people don’t understand, that’s why he is more of a culprit.

So in light of everything, I do believe there is a high chance of redemption, and khushi will have to take charge because Arnav has already damned himself to hell. But as I said earlier I would understand if she is not up for it.

PLEASE SEE

in light of few things Arpita cleared I have edited my comment and taken some harsh words out , but my opinion on other things does remain same!!!
we are free to think and write whatever we want, I am sorry if that caused anyone trouble but I was just expressing my thoughts and I don’t apologise for them!!!

Originally posted by: Arilip

There is nothing personal, I am also coming from my understanding of the characters and the story told till now!!!

Khushi got married to Arnav who treated her with all the love and respect. They had less money and he had loads of responsibilities but he still was a very considerate husband. Who loved and cherished her they had developed a strong bond with love and trust. Arnav was ambitious and worked really hard to meet the ends but still tried his best to look after her needs , made time whenever possible. The timelines are around when I also got married and my husband worked for tcs I can tell you they use to really drain ppl . Holidays were considered luxury and they paid peanuts. Being from small town and being a housewife, I relate to khushi more , so adjusting in little money comes naturally she was no daughter of rich man . She fell in love with him no wonder , I did too , when dowry was big thing in our areas. My husband is from kanpur!!! there was no demand from their side(same like Arnav), helped me with household chores even after working so hard at office. The friends party was my story ,I also wore saree.... She met payal and came to know about anamika , that made her a little insecure and somewhere in her mind that she is not his equal ,my story!!!! thousands of assurances verbal and non-verbal failed to help me let go of that completely at times still rears its head...so khushi's gawar thinking comes from there. She till 2013 december led a happy married life ,loving her husband and being cherished by him.

But now her story takes a turn ,something happened and Arnav's family gets disintegrated somehow he is blamed for something by his father. This is a big blow to a man who is burning his midnight oil for the same family. Something turned him bitter, from Arnav's musings we know that it's something he cannot tell khushi (may be it's his fault but i will wait for past to come out). She is the one who is bridging , we see she is loved by her in-laws so it's again something we women do , Arnav had no problem with her doing that till the issues around baby came. Now starts some fights regarding this , Arnav till then has himself not realised his issues on this topic. He doesn't want children, this is something in my understanding threw him off the kilter . Khushi of course wants children and is bewildered by Arnav's sudden volte-face ,she of course fights back for her rights to be a mother. Now comes bigger challenge as he being a self blaming and responsible person finds it really hard to even understand his own difficulty let alone ,discuss it with khushi. Now suddenly things start falling apart his family is again expecting him to do something and he is finding it hard , for a man who did everything possible to fulfil the wishes of his loved ones and is still blamed for something(we don't yet know) it's a massive problem. Unfortunately this includes khushi equally and her wishes are genuine and approved by everyone as its NORMAL, he is now alone in this . Not able to do right by his wife who he loves makes him paralysed with guilt , a non-communicator already its hard for him to understand let alone tell Khushi. In his musings we constantly see that he felt he was her culprit and thought he didn't love her anymore otherwise why is he not able to give her one thing she wanted. Not knowing what to answer he starts running away from questions(His major failure) . Now coming to khushi ,her world suddenly turns upside down , she is clueless as to what went wrong and rationally wants to discuss and thinks he will come around. Things go bad to worse ,both of them couldn't find a solution , mental health is not a topic anyone is even thinking . To her suddenly Arnav is distant and to him khushi is unhappy because he couldn't agree for a baby. Then comes the pill thing , By now khushi is making up her mind that she might never have children, when he first proposes for a child her hopes go up but they crash immediately by his body language. She thinks she will have her Arnav back while trying for a child , this is what her major failure is . If there was enough awareness she would never have let that happen but she did for four months no less!!!! That increased the guilt in him many folds , he felt guilty of feeling relived every time test failed. I don't know how is that acceptable , you don't try to push your loved one from hilltop when he is scared of heights......that backfires but she still keeps mum about the pills ,even when he leaves the bedroom that's where she failed to understand his love for her. The thing which puts him to panic attack(she had seen the signs and she is not 19 anymore, she deals with abused women and children ,she knew what mental pressure is) he endured that for her for four months, she in my eyes abused her wifely rights and cheated him of sanity. This has been my bug bear and I won't ever take it lightly . After this Arnav's believe strengthens now he has proves as well . He contemplates of letting her go, he told aakash the same but ends up kissing khushi the same night , she didn't oppose him smoking another indication. He should have discussed it with khushi , yes he was about to after she would come back from lucknow . He was sure of loosing his family and everyone dear to him with khushi , he became too stressed and the whole thing fell on face in light of what happen in panchgani.

Originally posted by: Arilip

There is nothing personal, I am also coming from my understanding of the characters and the story told till now!!!

Khushi got married to Arnav who treated her with all the love and respect. They had less money and he had loads of responsibilities but he still was a very considerate husband. Who loved and cherished her they had developed a strong bond with love and trust. Arnav was ambitious and worked really hard to meet the ends but still tried his best to look after her needs , made time whenever possible. The timelines are around when I also got married and my husband worked for tcs I can tell you they use to really drain ppl . Holidays were considered luxury and they paid peanuts. Being from small town and being a housewife, I relate to khushi more , so adjusting in little money comes naturally she was no daughter of rich man . She fell in love with him no wonder , I did too , when dowry was big thing in our areas. My husband is from kanpur!!! there was no demand from their side(same like Arnav), helped me with household chores even after working so hard at office. The friends party was my story ,I also wore saree.... She met payal and came to know about anamika , that made her a little insecure and somewhere in her mind that she is not his equal ,my story!!!! thousands of assurances verbal and non-verbal failed to help me let go of that completely at times still rears its head...so khushi's gawar thinking comes from there. She till 2013 december led a happy married life ,loving her husband and being cherished by him.

But now her story takes a turn ,something happened and Arnav's family gets disintegrated somehow he is blamed for something by his father. This is a big blow to a man who is burning his midnight oil for the same family. Something turned him bitter, from Arnav's musings we know that it's something he cannot tell khushi (may be it's his fault but i will wait for past to come out). She is the one who is bridging , we see she is loved by her in-laws so it's again something we women do , Arnav had no problem with her doing that till the issues around baby came. Now starts some fights regarding this , Arnav till then has himself not realised his issues on this topic. He doesn't want children, this is something in my understanding threw him off the kilter . Khushi of course wants children and is bewildered by Arnav's sudden volte-face ,she of course fights back for her rights to be a mother. Now comes bigger challenge as he being a self blaming and responsible person finds it really hard to even understand his own difficulty let alone ,discuss it with khushi. Now suddenly things start falling apart his family is again expecting him to do something and he is finding it hard , for a man who did everything possible to fulfil the wishes of his loved ones and is still blamed for something(we don't yet know) it's a massive problem. Unfortunately this includes khushi equally and her wishes are genuine and approved by everyone as its NORMAL, he is now alone in this . Not able to do right by his wife who he loves makes him paralysed with guilt , a non-communicator already its hard for him to understand let alone tell Khushi. In his musings we constantly see that he felt he was her culprit and thought he didn't love her anymore otherwise why is he not able to give her one thing she wanted. Not knowing what to answer he starts running away from questions(His major failure) . Now coming to khushi ,her world suddenly turns upside down , she is clueless as to what went wrong and rationally wants to discuss and thinks he will come around. Things go bad to worse ,both of them couldn't find a solution , mental health is not a topic anyone is even thinking . To her suddenly Arnav is distant and to him khushi is unhappy because he couldn't agree for a baby. Then comes the pill thing , By now khushi is making up her mind that she might never have children, when he first proposes for a child her hopes go up but they crash immediately by his body language. She thinks she will have her Arnav back while trying for a child , this is what her major failure is . If there was enough awareness she would never have let that happen but she did for four months no less!!!! That increased the guilt in him many folds , he felt guilty of feeling relived every time test failed. I don't know how is that acceptable , you don't try to push your loved one from hilltop when he is scared of heights......that backfires but she still keeps mum about the pills ,even when he leaves the bedroom that's where she failed to understand his love for her. The thing which puts him to panic attack(she had seen the signs and she is not 19 anymore, she deals with abused women and children ,she knew what mental pressure is) he endured that for her for four months, she in my eyes abused her wifely rights and cheated him of sanity. This has been my bug bear and I won't ever take it lightly . After this Arnav's believe strengthens now he has proves as well . He contemplates of letting her go, he told aakash the same but ends up kissing khushi the same night , she didn't oppose him smoking another indication. He should have discussed it with khushi , yes he was about to after she would come back from lucknow . He was sure of loosing his family and everyone dear to him with khushi , he became too stressed and the whole thing fell on face in light of what happen in panchgani.

Hi Arilip,

Thank you so much for sharing your personal story and providing us perspective. I can understand your point of view about the pills. However, I still think that when people are dealing with their heart's dearest desire (a baby for Khushi), it is hard for them to look around and anticipate that the other person involved in the situation is facing something else.

I think Khushi tried in her own way to get things back to normal. A thing that Arnav actually could not get on board with because he kept being burdened by his guilt of not being able to be happy about making a baby with his wife. She tried to communicate with him even when he came back to the bedroom and making things normal. Unfortunately she did not touch upon why he suddenly decided to be ready. They both should have sat down and talked about the heart of the matter. This is the heart of this story. Their lack of communication skills. I think Arnav's more than Khushi here, mainly because Arnav took the aggressive stance. He cut off communication, he would suddenly become someone who Khushi did not know. That kind of change makes you question yourself too. I can understand where you are coming from regarding the pill situation and what Arnav went through because of that. But I don't think the situation was conducive enough for Khushi to even have the tough talk with him.

Imagine a situation where Arnav had moved out of the room, essentially, and then they suddenly decide to make a baby, he moves back in. Isn't her fear valid that if she even mentions or questions his decision, he would move away from her again? It was her biggest fear, more than the baby itself. That she wanted him, wanted things to get back to normal. Unfortunately she did not tell that to him then. But I doubt at that time, Arnav would have been ready to listen as well. He probably would have thought she is saying this just because she is traditional because he had an image of Khushi with Leher set in his mind tormenting him. It is unfortunate. They both were trying to save each other and do right by each other but ended up hurting each other the most. My heart actually breaks for them.

Originally posted by: You-Know-Who

Hi Arilip,

Thank you so much for sharing your personal story and providing us perspective. I can understand your point of view about the pills. However, I still think that when people are dealing with their heart's dearest desire (a baby for Khushi), it is hard for them to look around and anticipate that the other person involved in the situation is facing something else.

I think Khushi tried in her own way to get things back to normal. A thing that Arnav actually could not get on board with because he kept being burdened by his guilt of not being able to be happy about making a baby with his wife. She tried to communicate with him even when he came back to the bedroom and making things normal. Unfortunately she did not touch upon why he suddenly decided to be ready. They both should have sat down and talked about the heart of the matter. This is the heart of this story. Their lack of communication skills. I think Arnav's more than Khushi here, mainly because Arnav took the aggressive stance. He cut off communication, he would suddenly become someone who Khushi did not know. That kind of change makes you question yourself too. I can understand where you are coming from regarding the pill situation and what Arnav went through because of that. But I don't think the situation was conducive enough for Khushi to even have the tough talk with him.

Imagine a situation where Arnav had moved out of the room, essentially, and then they suddenly decide to make a baby, he moves back in. Isn't her fear valid that if she even mentions or questions his decision, he would move away from her again? It was her biggest fear, more than the baby itself. That she wanted him, wanted things to get back to normal. Unfortunately she did not tell that to him then. But I doubt at that time, Arnav would have been ready to listen as well. He probably would have thought she is saying this just because she is traditional because he had an image of Khushi with Leher set in his mind tormenting him. It is unfortunate. They both were trying to save each other and do right by each other but ended up hurting each other the most. My heart actually breaks for them.

Mine too, but still it doesn’t quite justify her full conscious action!! It breaks my heart that he blamed himself for that too. He did it for her , if she tried to reach out he did too for four months!!! Not one day or week or month.

Arpita might think, world moved on but arilip didn’t leave the topic, but it’s too close to my heart.
Again edited the part I had confusion on…

Originally posted by: Arilip

There is nothing personal, I am also coming from my understanding of the characters and the story told till now!!!

Khushi got married to Arnav who treated her with all the love and respect. They had less money and he had loads of responsibilities but he still was a very considerate husband. Who loved and cherished her they had developed a strong bond with love and trust. Arnav was ambitious and worked really hard to meet the ends but still tried his best to look after her needs , made time whenever possible. The timelines are around when I also got married and my husband worked for tcs I can tell you they use to really drain ppl . Holidays were considered luxury and they paid peanuts. Being from small town and being a housewife, I relate to khushi more , so adjusting in little money comes naturally she was no daughter of rich man . She fell in love with him no wonder , I did too , when dowry was big thing in our areas. My husband is from kanpur!!! there was no demand from their side(same like Arnav), helped me with household chores even after working so hard at office. The friends party was my story ,I also wore saree.... She met payal and came to know about anamika , that made her a little insecure and somewhere in her mind that she is not his equal ,my story!!!! thousands of assurances verbal and non-verbal failed to help me let go of that completely at times still rears its head...so khushi's gawar thinking comes from there. She till 2013 december led a happy married life ,loving her husband and being cherished by him.

But now her story takes a turn ,something happened and Arnav's family gets disintegrated somehow he is blamed for something by his father. This is a big blow to a man who is burning his midnight oil for the same family. Something turned him bitter, from Arnav's musings we know that it's something he cannot tell khushi (may be it's his fault but i will wait for past to come out). She is the one who is bridging , we see she is loved by her in-laws so it's again something we women do , Arnav had no problem with her doing that till the issues around baby came. Now starts some fights regarding this , Arnav till then has himself not realised his issues on this topic. He doesn't want children, this is something in my understanding threw him off the kilter . Khushi of course wants children and is bewildered by Arnav's sudden volte-face ,she of course fights back for her rights to be a mother. Now comes bigger challenge as he being a self blaming and responsible person finds it really hard to even understand his own difficulty let alone ,discuss it with khushi. Now suddenly things start falling apart his family is again expecting him to do something and he is finding it hard , for a man who did everything possible to fulfil the wishes of his loved ones and is still blamed for something(we don't yet know) it's a massive problem. Unfortunately this includes khushi equally and her wishes are genuine and approved by everyone as its NORMAL, he is now alone in this . Not able to do right by his wife who he loves makes him paralysed with guilt , a non-communicator already its hard for him to understand let alone tell Khushi. In his musings we constantly see that he felt he was her culprit and thought he didn't love her anymore otherwise why is he not able to give her one thing she wanted. Not knowing what to answer he starts running away from questions(His major failure) . Now coming to khushi ,her world suddenly turns upside down , she is clueless as to what went wrong and rationally wants to discuss and thinks he will come around. Things go bad to worse ,both of them couldn't find a solution , mental health is not a topic anyone is even thinking . To her suddenly Arnav is distant and to him khushi is unhappy because he couldn't agree for a baby. Then comes the pill thing , By now khushi is making up her mind that she might never have children, when he first proposes for a child her hopes go up but they crash immediately by his body language. She thinks she will have her Arnav back while trying for a child , this is what her major failure is . If there was enough awareness she would never have let that happen but she did for four months no less!!!! That increased the guilt in him many folds , he felt guilty of feeling relived every time test failed. I don't know how is that acceptable , you don't try to push your loved one from hilltop when he is scared of heights......that backfires but she still keeps mum about the pills ,even when he leaves the bedroom that's where she failed to understand his love for her. The thing which puts him to panic attack(she had seen the signs and she is not 19 anymore, she deals with abused women and children ,she knew what mental pressure is) he endured that for her for four months, she in my eyes abused her wifely rights and cheated him of sanity. This has been my bug bear and I won't ever take it lightly . After this Arnav's believe strengthens now he has proves as well . He contemplates of letting her go, he told aakash the same but ends up kissing khushi the same night , she didn't oppose him smoking another indication. He should have discussed it with khushi , yes he was about to after she would come back from lucknow . He was sure of loosing his family and everyone dear to him with khushi. He never thought of moving on from khushi , his will proves that ,but wished for her to live a fulfilling life. he became too stressed and the whole thing fell on face in light of what happen in panchgani. Now think about a man who was feeling guilty and self kicking himself for not able give in to her desire of child, this had killed his soul. Rest all is him firefighting. But in his every thought there is khushi, his will is the proof of it. He was waiting for the parents to come yes he got selfish to see them once before everything is taken away from him , but his main thought was that khushi would have her loved ones around when he breaks her heart.

Khushi in the light of his behaviour for whole year and especially the last month that preceded their anniversary combined with the photos and Aman’s silence and Arnav confirming her about lawyers , drew her own conclusions. The all important talk now was lost because this time khushi didn’t want to talk.

She in her anger confirmed his worst fears that she is not happy with him anymore and left him without listening his side (I don’t blame her for this, just stating the facts). Also I don’t agree with the decisions she took after she left (she was a woman of substance not naïve 19 years old girl who was to be sacrificed in the name of her parents honor)and Arnav had no hand in those. It was her inherent nature to please everyone that led her here. This time she stonewalled him. They acted same way in a hurtful situation. Arnav’s is self- inflicted because of his mental issues which most of the people don’t understand, that’s why he is more of a culprit.

So in light of everything, I do believe there is a high chance of redemption, and khushi will have to take charge because Arnav has already damned himself to hell. But as I said earlier I would understand if she is not up for it.

Hi Ari,

First of all thanks a lot for being so considerate to the work load that Arnav had went through. It’s important and has its own place in life of a breadwinner for the family. Work stress is often not talked about enough when we sit down to read such stories. I’m glad you picked it up for Arnav and how much toll it could have taken on him.

Now coming to the pill part. I think I am not able to put my thought across clearly. I don’t hold Khushi responsible at all for that and even Arnav doesn’t which I believed was evident by his lack of anger upon learning about it as well as confessing to Khushi that she was right. Please allow me to clarify as to what went down and how

1. When Arnav agreed out of the blue, it’s mentioned that this is the first time Khushi notices the strain. He did not have a panic attack in the car. He was driving and the notion made him uneasy. Khushi muses that these things were very subtle. Also, prior to this Arnav has only shown anger about it. So yes, she’s not naive 19 year old. She’s worked with an NGO and catches the subtle signs.

2. Why she did not tell Arnav? Because Arnav was the one who absolutely put his foot down on the baby discussion after telling her he wanted it. Arnav’s reasons have been mentioned. He didn’t think he would want to have a child if he let himself think. He did not want to lose the will that was purely based on Khushi’s happiness. In that state, it completely falls on Khushi to make a decision

3. She could have told Arnav she didn’t want children right then - this is incorrect. She still wanted children but had begun to grow hopeless with him. It’s her husband of 10 years which is ready to move back. If she thinks she needs to look after their relationship first before falling pregnant then that was a decision taken by a woman who did not want to drag a child in such a mess (she told Payal the same) and was caring for her husband too. He did not leave her any other choice with his absolute refusal to talk.

4. Contrary to what it would have done to Arnav, this particular period of Khushi making things normal has been the easiest for him. His biggest problem was running away from Khushi because he didn’t want to give her a child and felt guilty. This whole time that guilt was taken care of because he was finally doing this for Khushi.

However, Khushi was right. His guilt came back because of the fact that he realised how absolutely utterly he did not want kids during these four months. Because he was relieved after she tells him she isn’t pregnant. He didn’t know how to say this to Khushi again after lying to her for the first time so he permanently moved away from the room one random day.

Now you have also said like many other readers that you want to see a stronger Khushi which I believe is everyone’s priority at the moment ❤️. The same Khushi has repeatedly tried, begged and even scolded Arnav to come back who refused to even answer her at a point. Imagine things getting normal between the two of you and he randomly goes away and starts living alone.

Khushi also had her limits after trying for the whole years. Arnav moved out somewhere in august and she had still tried getting back to him after dealing with this rudeness and heartbreak. I will say this again. She is his wife. She shouldn’t run away behind him like this to get him to talk. She also has some self respect which was getting wounded each time he did this.

5. All this also goes for a toss when you consider his behaviour during November and December. We know what he was going through. Khushi doesn’t. She is unable to even understand such kind of behaviour that you won’t expect even from a stranger let alone a spouse. She told him in the last chapter why she didn’t confront him with the pictures. Arnav also understands this was too cheap for a graceful woman like her to pull up and she chose to gather what was left of her self esteem and moved away.

This is exactly what the ff intended to portray ❤️

Additionally, both Aman and Arnav confirmed he wanted a divorce right that day when she found the photos. I see no reason why after such a hurt she will be in a condition to confront him or even say anything. She simply left.

And that is exactly why Arnav’s realisation is painful in the last chapter. When Khushi does it to him for the first time. When he realises getting stonewalled hurts more than he imagined.

I hope I was able to put forward what actually happened in the FF 😘 I thought there was some gap and maybe it’s because of a lot of timeline jumps and POV shifts. or maybe I should have been clearer in my writing.

You are absolutely right in demanding Khushi’s rise though. This is clearly her fault. She had put herself behind a lot of things. And now she’s paying the price of not being strong for her own self. Her mental health was affected by such behaviour too. Your assumption that she needs to stand up for herself is something I whole heartedly agree with! ❤️❤️❤️

Originally posted by: Arilip

Mine too, but still it doesn’t quite justify her full conscious action!! It breaks my heart that he blamed himself for that too. He did it for her , if she tried to reach out he did too for four months!!! Not one day or week or month . How hard it is to say I want nothing more than you, it breaks my heart to be distant from you. If he left after that I would never blame her. Mental health issues are never discussed and even are laughed at but unfortunately they exist and are bigger than physical because physical is visible and acceptable. She is no naïve housewife who didn’t know what goes on in the world. She had seen the signs , how could she do that !!! How does that make her epitome of grace and pure love. She didn’t even acknowledge his love when he gave in to something that gave him panic attacks.


She is going through a lot but that doesn’t absolve her from her own misdeeds.

Arpita might think, world moved on but arilip didn’t leave the topic, but it’s too close to my heart.

I absolutely get your point as to why couldn’t she say that I don’t want kid but you. Trust me I really do, love! ❤️

Please let me reiterate that she did exactly that in her letter. After an absolute vile behaviour from Arnav. She sat down and found faults within herself not him.

Your question is why she didn’t say it during those four months is because Arnav wasn’t dying in guilt that way the way he did towards the end of the year. He was back with her in the room, giving her a hope of a normal world on the horizon. He wasn’t sulking around. He said he half heartedly tried.

You said you want Khushi to say Arnav you’re enough and that’s exactly what she did in those four months. Her priority was him and getting things normal between them not the baby. Even Arnav saw that she was trying to just spend time with him. She couldn’t directly talk about the baby because he was the one blowing his fuse over it and putting his foot down.

Also, this is us expecting Khushi to give up her lifelong dream the first moment Arnav gets troubled. I don’t think it’s right especially when Arnav won’t talk. She is his wife. She has the right to have at least some discussions with him about her biggest desires.

And I will say it again. This is exactly what she said in her letter. She gave up the baby idea in December finally. She didn’t blame him. She blamed herself and explicitly told him he was enough. ❤️

Edit - also I’m not sure what gave this impression that Arnav had panic attacks during those four months. Given how attuned she is to him, Khushi would have given up anything for Arnav if she saw those regular sign of troubles. Arnav himself mused. He went back to room and she forced no baby talk on him. She only wanted to spend time and make things normal. Unfortunately, for Arnav his own guilt was enough. He pretended that things were fine and then left her out of the blue one day. This Khushi believe me, will not do that to him if she ever saw he was affected this way. That is because he was not. These were the most guilt free 4 months he had because he was finally doing what Khushi wanted. His guilt comes from his own realisation that he had lied to her.

He could have told her that instead of leaving and I assure you, the way her character is written, all he had to do was tell her how much it troubles him and she would let that go in a heartbeat. The whole year got feather because he didn’t talk and she had to play the guessing game.

I hope the explaination eased things a bit for you! 😘

Out of all people in the world, Khushi is probably the only one to give a damn about his mental health. She is the one who understood his need to devote his time to his work and was happily accommodating of the fact up until last year which is making her question 10 years worth of things that she did. She is the only one that vocalises and tells him that his presence is enough and he doesn’t need to run around to be useful. She is the only one who correctly (by Arnav’s admission) understood how much he loved and missed his family and didn’t stop mending the bridge despite Arnav’s outwardly taunts. ❤️

Originally posted by: Learrntowrite

Hi Swati,

I’m listening to what you’re saying. Let me articulate better. Because I also think we are digressing with each comment.


Me citing the law, has nothing to do with what Arnav did AFTER the rave party. I’m simply citing that ‘made to penetrate’ and ‘consent acquired under influence’ are accepted as sexual violence against males. I’ve also repeatedly touched the point about external simulation that can lead to an aroused behavior.

Where is the proof that this applies here? Yes, I agree La kissed him aggressively until he gave in but nothing else. Your assumption / speculation has no proof until beyond kissing until La chapter comes in and that too its's purely La's confession which will never happen in real world, there's no the scientific proof and she can twist it any which way. In fact in real world if woman was under, she will claim she was victim, it's that bad.

I will again repeat the my comment. He was walking on his own two feet. It wasn’t like he was falling down the stairs. He had enough strength to carry his body weight. And he was still disoriented enough to not pull himself back from literary falling to his death. To assume this is a man who would be able to make a sensible decision after being repeatedly kissed/simulated/violated is our ignorance of the whole topic.

No denying she initiated, kissed him until he gave in but unfortunately after that he realized the woman he started kissing or actively getting involved to have s*x was NOT his wife. He clearly remembers he was actively involved as soon as he woke up and his guilt has come from there. This is exactly what happens in RAVE which is against laws and rules and hence he shouldn't have been there in the first place. Had this happens in a normal party, my opinion guaranteed will be different but NOT for RAVE, sorry. And Arnav exactly knew what happens in a RAVE, the rebels out there being vultures grabbling prey, to break the laws by hook or crook and still chose to let loose by drinking excessively. There is nothing legal or fancy in RAVE to stay back and let loose has different meaning there and Arnav chose it, I will never understand why? Especially he being the righteous man???

I would also like to reiterate that even in that situation, he had repeatedly said no. And the woman next to him has paid no attention to it.

We will see this in more details in La chapter. RAVE again.

Now coming to Arnav’s memories.

The very first point I would like to address is that it gives me closure on why he readily believed that he slept with Lavanya and she might be pregnant. It’s because he has FRAGMENTED memories of the act happening.

Your last point, that these things happen in a rave negates your question as to why he didn’t go all alert from the get go. Why would he knowingly involve a whole team going around telling of his adultery? Why would he be alerted that Lavanya might do something when she was cool as a cucumber like it wasn’t a big deal to her? It’s too common there. It’s a big deal to Arnav. According to him ONS wasn’t a big deal to Lavanya and she said so herself.

That means he is the dumbest man on this planet. When he knew La is NOT his friend, shouldn't he protect himself by testing himself medically irrespective of what La said which doesn't even require sharing it with anyone? Did La give him in writing, or was there anyone else as witness? She can change her stance any time knowing he is way richer than her. It is very clear he was concerned about his status and image, we all know the efforts he put to dispose the photos with La, shouldn't he have been more proactive in seeing the bigger picture and then act promptly before?? He plays chess in day-to-day life, what a shame the same logic he can not apply it in real life! But then he was biggest ignorant fool, never thought through, again ran away from the situation hiding, not sharing at least with Aman / Akash asap, went with reactive only response, we have to accept this truth. There are no rewards for being so stupid after such a critical incident that too when he is in film industry and a producer and filthy rich on his way to be a billionaire and his whole life's hard work and image is at stake.

plus I think the writer wrote it herself. An actress has more to lose. She was the organizer of the party. She was never going to call the police or get all legal on Arnav when it would open the can of worms on her!!

Why should Arnav care about La when his own dignity, rapport is at stake? He is 34 years old man who was trying baby with his own wife. So you want me to believe Arnav did not know consequences of unprotected s*x irrespective of who was involved, actress or not? He didn't think about a situation where the woman can be pregnant is bummer and scar on his intelligence then. Can anyone hide pregnancy of all the things?

Whatever they did after a month very privately should have been done immediately after incident, private medical tests for both, first things first, there is NO excuse for this.

There is something called proactiveness in life to mitigate the situation from blowing later which this Arnav failed to do. Aman is more proactive who managed to stop photo leak and investigated on La.

And, we are entirely forgetting his mental state at the moment. The guy holds himself to such high standards that fleeting seconds of awareness is enough for him to declare himself guilty. How would he be feeling after doing this? From his whole demeanor, he is a guy who has lost his self respect in his own eyes when in reality there wasn’t much he could do.

he is already behaving like a typical victim of sexual abuse. I should have left. I should have said no one more time. It’s extremely sad and heartbreaking to see. I will once again say, had it been a woman behaving in such self loathing, this thing wouldn’t even be up for discussion.

This is NO excuse for a man of his stature to NOT do basic medical tests. It actually would have helped him to understand his own physical state, drugged or not and saved his own dignity in his own eyes. Also this is NO excuse to hide things from his wife and NOT inform her asap.

Will anyone ever acknowledge that more than MaLa D being smart, Arnav's own stupidity has caused him and Khushi more despair since Oct 2015 onwards? Had he used only Aman and ran tests on himself and informed La to do tests, nothing of La aftermath would have ever happened. MaLa D would have run away scared. The moment Aman got to know about La, he ran background check even without Arnav asking him and they found out La is big time fraud by Jan 2nd which they could have easily found out two months earlier too in Oct 2015.

So the conclusion, Aman is smart and Arnav is NOT?

plus, his memories of the night are EXTREMELY HAZY. He says so himself. He needs to rack his brain to even get these two moments. And him realising it’s not Khushi doesn’t mean he was suddenly sober. It’s not like he fully got his bearings back, realized it’s Lavanya and continued. He is still drunk/drugged. These are fleeting moment of awareness that something wrong is going on.

It’s extremely tough for me to put myself in that situation. Imagine having no control on your body and your impulses. Then having a momentary awareness that something extremely wrong is going on and not having enough semblance to do ANYTHING about it. It’s suffocating. I’m sorry but anyone who has ever drank to an extent where you feel like your cognitive functions aren’t proper, it’s an extremely scary situation.

I don’t know what everyone who hated Arnav after this is picturing, but I can only feel his paranoia at the moment. It’s an extremely scary situation not being in control of your body. Thinking about it overwhelms me. That’s why I agree to Tashi. In this situation if penetration happened, this is too painful to even think about.


There may as well have been a woman who was engaging in intercourse under influence. In the middle of it realising that something wrong was going on, panic and may still not be able to protest or stop OR EVEN CONTINUE PARTICIPATING under delusion and disorientation. This has been documented. It’s extremely disgusting to think about. Just that there was a man who has been stimulated to the point of responding, we shed all these notions.

Arnav's reaction has nothing to do with gender in my eyes. The most unfortunate truth here is he has memories of doing things and NOT the memories of NOT doing things. So anyone be it a man or a woman, you or me in this situation, we are going to blame ourselves. It's a given and natural. More than hating this Arnav, I hate his stupidity, gullible behavior and choices which have been disastrous. Hate is too big a word for me so is sympathy, both do NOT come to me naturally ever.

My point of view is he could have easily avoided the whole aftermath by being smart and astute man that he has been established in this story as but the first real life mishap, he failed flat on his face and got conned by two cheap women.

those hazy memories have done the most damage.
a) they had him convinced that he drank so much that he lost control. He is not assuming things. He is drawing from experience. This has happened to him once. He is saying I drank too much too quickly. He wasn’t even considering a possibility of drugs. What would he get tested for in the morning. And in case we’re forgetting, he was absolutely dying of guilt to think about anything else when he was already convinced he was at fault.

Next day he was normal right? Then a simple blood test within 72 hours would have saved his day which he didn't do. And as I pointed out in past, we run those HR courses for a reason, he is 34 so he has done that course at least 13 times in his life, to use it when real situation occurs. He needs to practice what he and his company preaches the employees.

B) the same memories lead him to fully accept the whole blame on him. Not once did he try to redeem himself in Akash’s or Khushi’s eyes. To him he should have been better. He is being extremely harsh on himself. Selfish, self cantered people don’t do that!

Arpita established this long ago when she confirmed this Arnav and I think alike on this point. I have appreciated repeatedly that he did not use any excuse and accepted his mistake. I called him selfish and self centered for his behavior towards Khushi.

The only thing I am super pissed at him about is his behaviour with Khushi. He was trying to douse fires all around that he seemed were important and did not take into account what it was doing to his wife. Or how the whole year would feel 10 times worse to Khushi when she learns the whole truth.

but for Panchgani night, I am absolutely heartbroken for him. Tashi’s boxer jokes were needed because this is too messed up to think about. That was a gullible and terrifying situation to be in. And now he will pay the price of one time letting loose at a party which he felt was safe to do so in. Also a party fro where he was leaving by 11!!!!. The only statement of yours that I agree with is that he will blame himself for life and most likely pay for it too. All because there was an obsessed b*tch around who doesn’t understand no means no.

His judgmental error has costed him dearly. Still he is lucky thanks to Aman. Jokes apart, boxers were never going to be the savior since Arpita had confirmed cheating and s*x happened long time ago. Almost after initial chapters.

Edit - up until 2nd January, Lavanya was an extreme professional in Arnav’s eyes who was also a goody two shoes darling of the film industry.

Again you are overlooking most important aspect of her life, her dark side. Arnav didn't know anything about La other than she is an actress with a clean image and professional. But by Oct 8th, Arnav had first hand experience about she running RAVEs and is so casual about having drugs, sleeping / s*x with married or unknown men shouldn't put a doubt in anyone's mind? Would it not make anyone rethink about her image instantly? First thing one should think is what else she could be hiding? Also she is a woman sleeping around freely, how does she manage to keep her image clean? Did she ever get preggo and hide that too? These are natural thoughts.

Am I the only curious monkey here or think differently here? But in my group of women we all think like this, most of us will shot Arnav down like what a duffer? I am sorry but that's the truth. Maybe in USA, suing is so common, you are prepared always and think proactively about everything all the time.

La is professional or not is never a question, he needed to certain things for himself, not even for his wife, so thinking about La is out of question for me. He needed to do it for his own dignity and self respect. We all can live with people pointing fingers at us, but is it easy to live guilt?

Edit 2- the term that I mentioned and the term that Akanksha explained are not random Google searches. It’s from US government website. I’m sorry but I would trust that more over a show that takes creative liberties for dramatisation of things.

Being a STEM person, I do not accept anything when there is a chance to get scientific proof. Arnav had chance and he blew it.

My anger comes from different place -

1. Arnav here as been established as a brilliant man with astute business sense and is an extremely high achiever about to be a billionaire. Such people are there at the position because of leadership and most importantly proactive nature, their capability to see through things normal people cannot. They see and act / grab opportunities or invest based on this unique qualities that they possess. So anyone telling me this Arnav was not thinking or always reactive or let go assuming the people won't do hard when there is black and white proof they had ulterior motives is impossible for educated mind to digest. There are certain expectations set here right from the start of the story and we cannot change it just because he suddenly started acting like a duffer. Any ordinary man, I can give him much more slack but Arnav being who he is, hell no.

2. His crass behavior towards Khushi - We all agree so I am not going there again and again. There was no reason for him to abuse her mentally for the whole year and he didn't realize or what he was thinking in his mind or what situation he got himself into with La and was handling it is NO excuse.

Originally posted by SwatStar_Arshi

And what she gets in return, still this a$$ hole does not want a kid with whatever excuse I am not even interested anymore after his acknowledgement of misdeeds in latest chapter, he was ok to hide about La, not even acknowledge forget the sincere apology, he was ok for her to marry someone else if it wasn't Shyam, then he simply walks into her life again just like he walked out without her consent, expects her to forgive immediately now because at last he came clean and expressed himself, she has to buy his blatant lies that she matters to him the most or his so called care, and shamelessly he asks her what she wants to do as soon as she is back. He is a pathetic excuse for a human, the most selfish, egoistic, insensitive, abusive narcissist I have ever come across even in FanFic!

- Swati

Originally posted by: Learrntowrite

Oh wow! These are some harsh words and I don’t think any of it define the Arnav of this story. Especially the part of him “shamelessly asking what she wants” because he is trying not to assume anymore I guess?? I thought him assuming things was the biggest sin 😅. Especially disregarding why he doesn’t want kids and it could be associated with some trauma is fascinating to me!

My thoughts are will Khushi really want to be with him anymore, forget the baby and all that? He had been monster to her, Arnav established this for himself - Not my words. At this point what he wants has ZERO value unfortunately (again established by Arnav when he thought companionship after letter and not me), he is not the victim, Khushi is and he is her culprit. And of course why should she know the reason now when he chose to abuse, cheat on her instead of discussing like a mature adult an year ago? Arnav here is me, myself and I.

His assumptions are not, his behavior is the biggest sin. In my eyes, his desire not to have kids versus Khushi's desire to have kids has same value but his reasoning now is too late considering the fact that due to his trauma, he has given Khushi bigger trauma for life and hence not required anymore until Khushi has any interest whatsoever. Khushi should really push him back and not want to know the reason anymore, respect his decision to hide and let him live with it.

As Khushi says, he is one year, a drunken mistake and cheating after it, late to share his trauma....

When did it become ok for people with mental trauma to give others even bigger trauma without sharing their reasons??? He would have definitely earned respect if he would have walked away a year ago, but then the story will not be here.

Anyway, I don’t think these are the qualities I associate with this Arnav but les just say these are our differences of opinion. Seriously hope these words don’t come back to haunt in case DML reveals something or later chapters talk more in depth about his mental trauma ✌🏻

Are you giving me guilt here? Come on Isha, ask before accuse or curse.

Author wrote a whole chapter how his thoughtless behavior damaged his wife beyond repair, Arnav never thought how will Khushi perceive his ignorance when she had no knowledge about La matter or he was planning for divorce for so long, how he kept in dark and went on caring for La who is the other woman in his life?

These are established facts from last maybe many chapters especially Arnav himself has realized how he wronged after reading her letter, he realized he is not worth Khushi and her unconditional love. Now after the confrontation, he himself acknowledged he has been abusive monster to her no different than the men from his village he hated so much.

All this happened because of his own notions and his cowardly choices, running away from situation habit and not to go across the room and talk to her.

So now if I call the same spade a spade, I am supposed to have guilt, NEVER. His crass behavior is acknowledged by the writer 100++++ times and that justifies my name calling.

His mental trauma does NOT give him right to emotionally abuse his wife especially who has been through thick and thin with him and always been his anchor, period.

Originally posted by: SwatStar_Arshi

My anger comes from different place -

1. Arnav here as been established as a brilliant man with astute business sense and is an extremely high achiever about to be a billionaire. Such people are there at the position because of leadership and most importantly proactive nature, their capability to see through things normal people cannot. They see and act / grab opportunities or invest based on this unique qualities that they possess. So anyone telling me this Arnav was not thinking or always reactive or let go assuming the people won't do hard when there is black and white proof they had ulterior motives is impossible for educated mind to digest. There are certain expectations set here right from the start of the story and we cannot change it just because he suddenly started acting like a duffer. Any ordinary man, I can give him much more slack but Arnav being who he is, hell no.

2. His crass behavior towards Khushi - We all agree so I am not going there again and again. There was no reason for him to abuse her mentally for the whole year and he didn't realize or what he was thinking in his mind or what situation he got himself into with La and was handling it is NO excuse.

Hi Swati.

First of all let me say that I do not have an issue with people not liking Arnav’s character and actions. To each his own. I think author has given us enough liberty and it’s a public forum.

however I’d be lying if I said the harshness doesn’t catch me off guard. Especially some of the things that I absolutely do not see in the story whatsoever. There are things listed down and assumptions laid down which I genuinely struggle to see and believe me when I say I’ve devoured the FF repeatedly.

I will also start with the clarity that I have in my thoughts because I believe I have jumped in Khushi’s defence too. I do not think she deserved what she got. However, I don’t hate Arnav either. I think I pity both of them. I’m a little more protective of Khushi’s character, but I have a lot of empathy for Arnav’s too.

now coming to the points you made. I believe we are running in circles. There are things which I have said in response to something where dots have not been connected or related back to the original topic that I reverted on. Things go completely off tangent than to what i start replying on.

This could be due to the long answers we are writing. So this time I will break it down for each of your statements so we are not unnecessarily repeating the same points and not reach any conclusions or even have a fruitful discussion. Then we’re just arguing for the sake of arguing and there’s no point in doing that.

so allow me some time and I will respond back to your questions on my comment. I will take liberty to quote the author directly from the FF or her comments. Although I don’t want to do that. I think that’s been done enough.

I will respond in bits and pieces, separately. You can choose to reply which you think you don’t agree on. And I’ll try to be more articulate in my responses :)

Answer 1

Originally posted by: SwatStar_Arshi

Me citing the law, has nothing to do with what Arnav did AFTER the rave party. I’m simply citing that ‘made to penetrate’ and ‘consent acquired under influence’ are accepted as sexual violence against males. I’ve also repeatedly touched the point about external simulation that can lead to an aroused behavior.

Where is the proof that this applies here? Yes, I agree La kissed him aggressively until he gave in but nothing else. Your assumption / speculation has no proof until beyond kissing until La chapter comes in and that too its's purely La's confession which will never happen in real world, there's no the scientific proof and she can twist it any which way. In fact in real world if woman was under, she will claim she was victim, it's that bad.

I will again cite the proof though because I said I will be extremely detailed in my response now. We did talk about external stimulus leading to an arousal. Under influence. When someone was not in a state to give consent. When someone verbally and physically gave all the signs that they’re not interested. La did provoke him and provided that stimulus repeatedly. Even then, kissing them repeatedly until (an under influence) male biology takes over will fall flat into this category. Precisely my reason to cite “made to penetrate” or “consent obtained with fraud”. It is not only legally accepted but it’s also morally heinous to force someone. There’s a reason that consent (or giving in for general language) is not considered valid when someone is utterly wasted.

I will also address the most problematic part of your statement here. Yes , Lavanya may claim victim in such situation (and you’re purely basing it out of your assumption that Arnav was on top all the time while he has a fleeting memory of a moment that has occurred), but let me tell you that we are not standing in a court. We are not bound by law to only feel empathy unless something can be legally proven. I’m a reader who has clearly been told what has been done to a man and my first instinct is not going to be ‘can this woman go claim victim in the eyes of the law?’

There are several rape and molestation cases that can never be proven. People have been let out on parole here in india. People have been given clean chit here in india. So if that does not hold up in court, does that mean it didn’t happen? Do I need to be bound by evidences that can be upheld in the court of law? Why won’t my first instinct be my moral compass and beliefs?

Also the statement that la kissed him and nothing else? That’s exactly the stimulant we have been talking about. The exact reason his body gave in eventually. She repeatedly VIOLATED him. La kissed him and nothing else is a sentence I will never use because let’s reverse the roles and see how problematic this sounds to my ears. I won’t speak for anyone else.

Let’s say it was Khushi in such a state. Let’s say there was a man who repeatedly kissed her. And let’s say by some miracle Khushi gets saved. Will we still not feel disgusted that she was repeatedly kissed and nothing else? Then why does the whole thing changes when there’s a man in the scenario who even in such a state kept pushing back and saying no? Why is his violation not triggering and boiling down to he gave in at the end which is purely biological??