Originally posted by: SwatStar_Arshi
Arpita, there is a lot of bias towards Arnav in some of your response, so I couldn't help but point! I understand hard working and responsible towards family etc. but close observations through the story clearly indicates he was selfish, demanding in a polite way and control freak who worked towards the goals that he assume were right! Being astute businessman, he read people well to use them to his advantage charmingly!
Example, you gave explanation about Anamika throwing his family past on his face during fight that broke them apart and we all agreed. But who started this? Agreed, Arnav informed Anamika about his family and financial conitions in advance but everytime she expected him to do something in the relationship, didn't he throw "I told you my situation so adjust/compromise" in her face? Have you ever give this a thought? Even if Anamika and he would have sorted their differences back then, they would landed at the same spot sonner than before since he never knew to compromise!
Even with Khushi he knew she had lowest expectations from him owing to her background and she woud adjust. When she spent 5000 to redo the house and bring it to livable condition, his first reaction is “This kind of splurge on comfort is not for people like us Khushi. Family comes first" Arnav said as guilt began to bubble in his chest. This money could have gone to the loan, to his dad’s store. He could have bought something nice for his mother or Anjali." So he is ok to buy nice things for his mom and sis while expecting his wife to adjust in a run down apartment??
He has always been the man of conditions with high handed decision making! Also you indicated ASR being arrogant and cocky in recent years! He had shown sign of narcissism right from the beginning but it got covered by Khushi's adjustments, unconditional love and compromises and the marriage worked for 10 years but the first time Khushi was adament about her desires, look what he did!
This ASR changes colors like a chameleon and becomes ultra traditional expecting his wife /gf to adjust for his responsibilties towards his family & support / compromise but modern enought to refuse baby for the traditional wife from a village hen this expectation was set by his own mother even before the marriage!
Also, he hasn't treated La well but she deserves it and I don't give a damn about her no matter how deep their affair was, that vile bitch is not worth talking for now at least!
I would rather stick to my original analysis of this ASR.. This guy is toxic and big time hypocrite too....
Ari - My purpose to reply you was to show Arnav had certain personality traits that reflect throughout including his aloofness, run away from the situation as his father mentioned, block communication, adamancy and control freak, decision making style expecting others to abide by.. And disrespecting their marriage, ill treating Khushi and affair was icing on the cake y Arnav!
Still Khushi made it work by her poised nature, simplicity and straight forward thiking, fresh and positive personality and adjusting with a smile and in return he was positive and nice to her too most times.. Khushi here has definitely done more compromise to make relationship work, being a house wife, village girl doesn't take it away from her! Men would die to get such a wonderful girl in their life!
You can continue to support Arnav, that's your choice and we completely respect that... You don't need to stop yourself from expressing, this is mature group and we all respect each other, my love for you girl!
I would 100% agree to the accusation 😂😂😂. I am super biased towards 2005-06 Arnav. I won’t comment anymore on the present Arnav and his actions since we’re getting there in the next chapter, but let me explain why I’m defensive of the younger him. It’s going to be loooooong 😂
Coming to his financial situation and Khushi spending money.
- I don’t think people realize just how drastic Arnav’s situation was. I’m pretty sure at one point I mentioned that he didn’t have a decent bed sheet until Khushi came along. He had given up finances to her and even saw that she had set aside 5000 rs. It worried him to no end but he chose to trust her. Please remember that this is very new and he doesn’t know if Khushi is a thoughtful person or just wants to waste money. He still chooses to keep quiet. Thinks that if she spends it too casually, he will make her understand the reason.
Khushi’s major spend was for Arnav’s comfort. His good night sleep, his study table. This is a man who is not used to do anything for himself. He is bound to feel guilty if he indulges in something to beautify his home while his family struggled in Lucknow . He feels indebted. He was almost in tears at the sight of a well made bed.
When Khushi was speaking of his comfort, his first thought was his mom and sister. He had met Khushi like a week back. Even though he was mindful of her, she is not yet going to make appearance in his subconscious thoughts.
But the moment he agrees to Khushi’s reasoning, he asks her what did you get for yourself. He did keenly observed that Khushi liked speaking to their families back home. His first purchase after the promotion was a gift for Khushi. His character was extremely emotionally mature in those years.
This is the guy who let go of golden opportunities in the past despite being insanely talented. He did not have a normal college life and it doesn’t make him bitter towards his family. He hid his problems from his family as well. He thinks in the Anamika chapter about it. He was doing odd jobs along with college but he wasn’t going to tell his family that what they send him for survival in the city is not enough.
That guy, was impatiently waiting for his MBA. Something that he knew he deserved. Khushi said he couldn’t stop talking about it.
And his thought is still not a college life, but degree from an institute that could change his family’s fortune. In that moment he is almost coerced into marriage. He says he never had the heart to say no to his family in the very first chapter due to the kind of struggle they faced. He is still not bitter towards Khushi. When he loses his job and finds a new one, it doesn’t take him a second to push aside his MBA dream because he needed to save more. That is not someone I’ll call narcissist in any which way.
Coming to his equation with Anamika.
I think I went too subtle in describing their relationship. It doesn’t say anywhere that Arnav ever threw it in her face that she knew what she was getting into. The only time he says it is when she’s apologising after the breakup. And that too was a counter to Anamika’s point when she says I was there during tough times.
During their last fight, Anamika was constantly berating him and he took it all, without saying a word. I wanted to portray that this was the nature of their relationship. I don’t think that old Arnav was ever rude to anyone, let alone Khushi or Anamika. That fight ended because Anamika said something nasty about his family and even though it angered him to no end, he didn’t say anything. He then quietly dropped her to her PG.
This was an insecure Arnav. He knew that Anamika was making adjustments because there is no other reason for him to go back running to her. Had he been as egoistic, he wouldn’t go to apologise to the woman who called him a failure and pretty much ghosted him while he silently took all insults. He knew he was the one who was bringing less on the table (financially only because if he was emotionally available for Khushi, I’m pretty sure he was for Anamika as well) and she was his first love. He was obviously emotionally attached to her too. Enough to let go of the nasty things she said. He backed out when he felt like a stalker. When she didn’t show up after he waited for hours.
Even during their final confrontation, Arnav’s voice is not raised. He is hurt and angry but he accepts her apology, tells her he’s married and doesn’t rub it in her face. He tells her honestly he thought she knew.
Another trait of Anamika, when she got angry, she got nasty. Her first reaction was to point a finger to Arnav and Payal. During their fight, she chose to use things that she knew would hurt Arnav specifically. I thought that was good insight into the kind of person she becomes when angry while Arnav remained level headed. I thought it gave a good idea about the kind of imbalance that existed in their relationship. Arnav was obviously insecure about his shortcomings.
He still doesn’t want to see her cry like this. His heart finds no solace or vindication in her misery upon learning of his marriage. He still offered her some comfort and did not want to leave her alone in the dark. He was then pretty rattled and wanted to drown in alcohol, but goes away because he remembers his promise to Khushi. I don’t think one can be anymore decent than this.
I will not fault Anamika for getting away from a relationship that didn’t suit her needs. But the way she did it to an Arnav who was nothing but understanding was very crass. He was just bound by his circumstances because the moment he could do something nice for Khushi, he did. I have no reason to think he wouldn’t have done the same for Anamika. Whether it was giving his time after a backbreaking schedule, running to her after his promotion, alleviating her fears when she was insecure about not earning, investing in the dabba service and just generally being very mindful of her.
Also. I don’t think people fully appreciate or understand the kind of toll professional struggles or survival can take. If you’re struggling for survival, not just yours but your whole family that depends on you, your emotional needs do not even come into the picture. It’s bound to make you snap, bitter and angry and yet Arnav was anything but that.
Khushi noticed that he was functioning on a four hour sleep schedule and he still made time for her. The one time, when he was fired and wanted to be alone, he still realized that Khushi may have felt bad and ran to say sorry to her.
Younger Arnav was just trying to make the best of the situation that was handed to him, while bound by crazy circumstances. I think the jerk and a hole that he is now and the hatred for his current self spills into 2005-06 Arnav’s character. He was anything but that.
Edited by VeiledWords - 2 years ago
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