Blast from the Past Thread #25 Extn ** Khushi, I... ** P 119, Ep 274 - Page 54

Originally posted by: Horizon

Confession of An Atypical Love..

"Love is an irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly"

- Robert Frost

She fell into his arms one fine evening that altered the conformation of his constellations permanently.

He was raged beyond belief. Briefly, she tried to get away, but he wouldn't let her...and pulled her closer as if that's the order of the universe.

A not so quintessential mohabbat breathed life...burgeoned... buttressed rather strangely amidst deliberate hostility. The mohabbat in him could never diminish even after his umpteen efforts to shun it and run away.

He gave her ample reasons for nafrat .. to hate him boundless. She screamed, she squabbled, she shivered, she sobbed...yet she survived... and could never leave him.. tightly tethered by that bond of nafrat. After all love and hate, both such very intense emotions, separated only by a fine line. But either, mighty enough to keep the two bonded. 👏

According to legends, Vamana (an avatar of Lord Vishnu) asked only for 3 feet of land from the king Mahabali (grandson of Prahlada) that the latter gladly granted. But vamana, with his supreme power grew immense and encompassed two worlds in two steps that the benevolent king had no way but to bow down for the third foot in front of this who initially seemed like a young unassuming boy. A classic analogy in Hindu scriptures when something expands unrestrained.. that one has no place to escape.

For arnav singh raizada, the fierce emotion that remained steadfast amidst the carnage of a myriad of other emotions, anger, denial, mistrust, reluctance, hatred, is, the love nestled in his heart for her. He has no qualms to bow down in front of this insurmountable feeling today. At gunpoint when his mortal existence seemed in jeopardy he submitted to his blazing inner truth... that she IS his existence.. wazood.. astitva!

And she would know that TODAY!

He has always said the most important things without much ado, without any prelude..

"Shaadi karni hogi.. mujh se" on a dark night, by the pool side he asked.. rather commanded.. her. He would have perhaps said the exact same thing on the terrace that day with a totally different timber in his voice and eyes, sending shivers down her spine, of a different kind than on the pool side, alas.. if only he were to reach onto the terrace not enduring that great implosion at its door step!

When he left her at the airport, a sudden vacuum engulfed her... aap chale gaye tho hum saansein hi nahi le payenge...I wouldn't be able to breathe if you leave...her saansein ruk jayengi moment... as her life force went away with him.

Air, how this element is essential for survival... how love always found its way in the same element ...a gust of wind breezed past and the phone rang. When Akash passed on the phone to her, as she heard her arnavji on the airwaves, this time around they carried a message that profusely aerated her much stifled soul in his absence...

"Khushi"..a barrage of tears unleashed down her eyes as she heard him call her name huskily .. she is missing him bad.. real bad. she needs him here.. by her side...right now.. dearly! After a very brief hesitant mumble, a very unlike his assertive self, the words encased in his heart all these months, at last made their way to his airways...and attained a harmonic tune ..that she is longing to hear for long now..

"Khushi, I love you"!

The non-conformist Arnav Singh Raizada confesses...

"If there is no light or no tomorrow, if there is no right and wrong, if there are no dos and don't s, if there are no expectations, no responsibilities, if the world ceases to exist.. amidst this adversity, there is only one bloom hidden intact in my heart... that direly needs to reach yours.. that is my love, the truth that I love you!"

She held that phone close and dear as if that is her life line, as if she cannot let that moment lapse, as if there is nothing else she would rather want to hear. All her queries since long seemed to be answered.. "nahi understand... aap samjhayiye hume"... he did today.. in his own laconic way. Ironically, sometimes the... samjhana...explanation to the most complex things lies in simple facts.. that he loved her!

Those Gulzar lines, talked about many times, come back ringing.."pyar koi bol nahi.. pyar aawaz nahi... Noor ki boond hai sadiyon se baha karthi hai (love has no words, no voice.. it is only a droplet of light flowing since eons.) That noor ki boond...a droplet of radiance...that lone drop of tear rolled down her cheek... at the profundity of the moment!

Love, that has been knocking on their doors since long and been masquerading behind various faces by a pool side, inside a white SUV, on a dance floor, and many more .. has at last unveiled itself most ceremoniously in their lives!

Originally posted by: indi52

hi all,

needed to celebrate the return of the man, the tremendous meeting between two lovers... we have been missing him... moping some of us. as rhea noted... 265 and he is here...

made this vm with a song that is also from this period. hope you enjoy.

the song... yes, when someone comes, there will be joy and happiness. my wait for the man in these words too... and rashid khan has sung it so so well.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07FzHMBFQmA&feature=youtu.be[/YOUTUBE]

an attempt at translating...

aaoge jab tum saajna
when you come, my love

aaoge jab tum saajna
when you come, my love

angana phool khilenge
flowers will bloom in the courtyard

barsega saawan, barsega saawan
the rain will come down in torrents

jhoom jhoom ke
dancing and joyous
(my translation, i thought this word meant more than just in torrents, it had emotion in it)

do dil aise milenge
and how two hearts shall meet

aaoge jab tum saajna
when you come, my love

angana phool khilenge
flowers will bloom in the courtyard

naina tere kajrare
your eyes are kohl lined

naino pe hum dil hare hai
i've lost my heart to these eyes

anjane hi tere naino ne
unknowingly your eyes (or your eyes may be strangers but they...)

waade kiye kai saare hai
have made many promises to me

saanso ki laye madhyam chale, tose gaye
the flow of my breath has slowed, for you are gone

barsega saawan, barsega saawan
the rain will come down in torrents

jhoom jhoom ke
dancing and joyous

do dil aise milenge
and how two hearts shall meet

aaoge jab tum saajna
when you come, my love

angana phool khilenge
flowers will bloom in the courtyard

chanda ko taaku raaton ko
i stare at the moon at night

hai zindagi tere haathon mein
my life is in your hands

palko pe jhilmil taare hain
on my lashes are twinkling stars

aana bhari barsaato mein
please come when the rains are dense

sapno ka jahaan hoga khelaa khelaa
the world of dreams will brighten up and bloom

barsega saawan barsega saawan
the rain will come down in torrents

jhoom jhoom ke
dancing and joyous

do dil aise milenge
and how two hearts shall meet

Originally posted by: Katelyn

Promo for episode 265

Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon 31st May 2012 Promo Finally Arnav and Khushi meet !!

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtXJEQKJts8[/YOUTUBE]

DL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtXJEQKJts8

Originally posted by: ArshiHamesha

DISCLAIMER:DON'T COPY MY WORKS AND CONCEPTS WITHOUT GIVING ME CREDIT

YOU HAVE SEEN MY HUMBLE SIDE. TRUST ME YOU WON'T LIKE THE OTHER...

Arshi's Index

Episode 258

"When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you...When I met you, I was afraid to kiss you...When I kissed you,I was afraid to love you...Now that I love you , I'm afraid to lose you...~~Roy Croft~~~

I loved you

Even now I may confess

some embers of my love ,their fire retain

but do not let it cause you more distress

I do not want to sadden you again

Hopeless and tongue tied , yet I loved you dearly

WIth pangs the jealous and the timid know

So tenderly I loved you, sincerely

I pray God grant another love you so

because simply enough I love you so deeply

~~LOVE is HOME~~

Episode starts with the debate going within Khushi about the fact that she hasn't told the facts to the family specially, to his di, his sister, the lone star of his horizon. she is still unsure about the actions as she witness Anjali's worry, she does exactly what Arnav would have done to protect the family, to Anjali because she doesn't want to risk Anjali's health at any cost.

Nani's & Khushi's interaction highlights the importance on understanding between these two.Nani when she questions Khushi about the pretended call, Khushi answers her with honesty laying all the facts and her reasons and one again Nani witnesses how beautifully Khushi has accepted Arnav's world as her own,his fears, his responsibilities. One side She takes a promise from Nani that this news cannot be disclosed to Anjali for her protection and other side she doesn't let Nani loose her hope. She knows only hope can guide her to him in the midst of gloom.

I agree that she is doing the duty of her husband to protect his di's health, but still I would love if she would've told this matter to nani or Akash. Eventually she would.

But most interesting thing is when Anjali listen the news, her reactions highlight her fear of loss & the whole family comes in,That shows how her insecurities lie withing fears of losing these two men...Arnav and Shyam,If she has this reaction towards Arnav , then anyone can imagine towards Shyam

i'll not say just insecurity but love also.

PONDERING CONNEXCTED DOTS: Here connects the Teej , Arnav was with her during all of her worries and even held her , protected her from falling before Shyam even could make his move but She leaned towards Shyam and Shyam did take her away from Arnav for their yearly pooja and he was in his lust during that pooja too...and that's exactly will happen again during the revelation of Shyam because she will not be able to see him lusting over honey or money till she will get wounded [chot] badly by her womb.

The two scenes of shyam did show his rattled look and Slithery moves,..., yesterday too when he heard khushi leaving for London, he was disturbed & made a call where he was adamant & today again when he reacts to Anjali's reaction, his shock, his failure and the slipping of sand from his hand look enveloped a lot and this was the scene when Iknew in my first round he is the kidnapper, made a post on written update too.Again he was unsettled when they deicide on cop action he disappears from from the family ...as on every gathering of Dukh Sukh , this outsider is not there...

well said. but I was not sure that Shyam was a kidnapper. I thought cvs was misleading us. i never could think that shyam had that much of money to kidnap a cogent man like ASR. I thought some other person, could be his uncle or even akash. Did you see how akash averted the topic when Shyam asked her how did she know Arnav didn't reach London. Later I understand why Akash did that. he didn't want to give anjali more tension.

My most touched grabber is the merger of Arnav Singh Raizada and Arnav into one. I always felt for him with his war within as ASR /Arnav, but today seeing him expressing himself with smooth transitional ebbing and flowing of both personalities while he spoke to his family was enough to touch a chord within me.I've always felt this distance between Arnav and his family. There is always this peculiar 'gap' between them regardless of love ."Chote is used to eat alone" ...as I can never get over with this when Nani said to Khushi...But today The entire family was awaiting to talk to this man who has always been there for them. This man, who is now all alone, in some dark place, under gun, or under threat as they were observing him while he was talking.

Loved your thought. He was introvert, but still why that distance with the family! today sure proved that how much his family loves him. May be he himself put the bridge.

Arnav Singh Raizada, a young man who learnt to deal with the world at very young age fearlessly and alone but fears never left him alone ...A man who was deprived of the tender care and love which he still seeks for ... A man who took the massive responsibility of his family before enjoying youth and jumped straight into maturity...A man who is just, genuine, selfless and corrects his mistakes when he knows he is at fault. Arnav Singh Raizada is not who cowers under pressure. He has been through extremely tough times and he shows exactly the same sitting under guns... his sharp thinking with brilliant presence of mind equipped with ability of quick processing any information makes him who he is ...Arnav Singh Raizada...a man of steel enveloped with tender heart. He preserves the calm and control of ASR by showering the love and affection of Arnav as he speaks to his family.

A family who didn't even ponder for three days till Anjali's break down whether he reached London safely or not . It was only Khushi who was worried about him including with the worry of not presenting the truth of her and Shyam before him because of which he left with heavy heart.

I've saying this for a while. how their family was sleeping peacefully without confirming the news of his arrival.It was khushi only who is getting crazy.

Despite the fact he has spent a life time with his family ,Khushi is the one who he delivers a big clue about his current state - the person he claims he hates, doesn't believe in, who he feels is a cheater and has low character and she is the one he delivers his message of help to. Not his family members who he has lived with years who have let him be ASR and failed to dig deeper below the facade of ASR, who touch the surface of Arnav but not the stretch of Arnav within.

khushi felt, cause her connection with Arnav is much grater than her family. And the connection is love.

He was patient...he was cherishing those moments with loved ones while facing danger..."I'm fine.." to his worrying Di , a firm " Gee Nani" to Naniji's chidings...as he always does as a grandson ...to keep the pillar in her strong..and a slight smirk over Mamiji's jabber and above all explained the work status to a brother ...Akash ...and then with a hesitant, unsure , and fear ...he pauses...before talking to the girl who he knows ,wants to talk to him for many days, and who he wants to talk too,a girl who is the only one who he shows his true self and can't hide himself from her,a girl who sees him for who he is and accepts him as he is.

He sensed her presence on the phone and here comes their privacy...she knows her man and makes this moment private ,as always in between them just like "Bas pata chal jata hai.."...by walking away from the family...just two of them...Rabba Ve strides in with her ...He heard her soft breath over the phone... her silence was enough for him, her soft tears through the phone were saying the state of her heart...,His lips could only deliver...Kh... and the air which always deliver their heart state, their mehsoos since from the beginning ...it gets halted in between them...gets frozen and she stops breathing...yes she hears him saying her name... and just like always, he couldn't see her crying, her pain, her broken state like that.he pleads... "Khushi plz mat ro"...He wanted to soothe her, to calm her down, to bring peace to her ... and tries his best but her tears flow by their own... He tries the stern and firm ASR ways too,"Khushi Bas...main theek hoon...kya..." but nothing stopped her tears for him and he knows that it was for him ..., every single tear drop had his name ...

very well written. their heart is connected so deeply that he could anticipate her distraught state.

"Fear can only grow in darkness.Once you face fear with light,you win."

~~Steve Maraboli~~

Yes he hates her but dying thousand times saying this one name "Khushi..."...Her tears which makes him halt as always , the pearls which he broke but he's been tying those priceless, soft,and pure nuggets in a thread of care , affection and in his ajeeb Love... Her heart finally recognized it with his one word...her name from his mouth,..."Khushi!!!" ..That's all she wanted to hear, her name from his mouth for which she was calling him over and over on the phone, running after on the airport but he didn't utter her name to give her solace, a healing bam on her wounds which he gave her and he knows that... and she cries her heart out over his shoulder by holding the phone imaging him with both hands just like always...getting strength from him and transferring strength in him...Yes he the one who hates her , he who gives her tears, but he is the one who always hurt himself in return for giving those tears "kyuon karta hoon main aisa..har bar uss ki ankhon main ansoo..."[Why I became a reason of her tears, why do I do that???]- ...

The pain in him...The pain in her...the pain which they both feel for each other makes them to submits their souls to each other ...His breaking of words,"Khushi main..." ... His stammering words with quivering lips ,holding her tight which she feels as his need...brings her second hand to join the first one to transfer him strength...,and he gets it from her and relinquishes himself over the moment by conceding and admitting without hesitation."Khushi...I love you... " without caring of Truths and Lies of Shyam or anything...just taking enough strength from her and transferring enough to her to come out of this shell of fear...to come out of this mask of denial...to come out of this darkness by spreading light around her ...Today he broke the cocoon of fear by stepping out of this shell... by cocooning her in his safe harbor of Love which is always her safe heaven...

very beautifully written again. And I just loved how you said, he got the energy from her to utter those most precious words.

The wind which was frozen in that moment has completed the message ,picks up the pace to make their surroundings halted to keep the silence within them...only...Her widen eyes shed a lonely tear of innocent joy in months and mingles with smile on her face...He hangs up in sheer pain but today he delivers her , her need ...His unconditional Love...bringing her search to home...in him...Yes she is home today.

She looks at the phone like she is looking at him...smiles and then holds it tightly to her chest just like she was holding his hand right next to her chest on Diwali...aisa kyuon hota hai...He gave her the answer but her inebriated state couldn't register it and today finally she got her answer...

awesome connection.

PONDERING CONNECTED DOTS: She always responds to him whenever he calls her name...even in anger or rage...From , Guest house till lonely nights of his holding curtains of his poolside to waking up saying her name ...she was sitting in front of DM making plans not to see him again and leaving him for forever...or sensing him on the other side of the wall finding him during kidanpping...or hearing him calling her during sleep to sensehis need where he wants to hold her hand...his aadat...or at the top of hill...where he was holding his life in his arms lifeless but she hears him and responds tohis heartbeat...or when he fights with his fears and rage over the loss of his mother on his wedding night and calls her before meeting an accident...she hears him sitting on mandap ..."hum jante hain Arnavji keh saath kuch to bura huwa hai..."...Yes Khushi bridges all of the connections of his needs just being by his side...👏

Today ,Arnav is coming out from the darkness after a long time..after losing the light of his life , His mother.He has been shown the ray of light again by the fear of losing the only light of his life , HisKhushi...Today ,the moon which has the power of holding all the craters of darkness by getting light from the Sun is illuminating proudly under the visage of this Sun by marking him as hers through his confession...👏👏👏

PONDERING CONNECTED DOTS:In the need , In his fear of losing Khushi...He gathers energy from her..on dreadful night...she holds his firm hand with her both hands and he takes strength from that firm hold to face the family and the war within...In GH , first time to face the fear of hugging new relationships with open questions...she grabs him from falling in that whirlpool with her both hands...on Airport he joined his hand with hers and both get hope for life and today again she transfers strength by gaining from him at the same time by holding the phone with her two hands...she feels his need and delivers it as always.

what a sublime thought!

The above is the scene where both ASR and Arnav blend seamlessly yet retain their individual characteristics in the process. ASR intelligently covers the hint of his deathly situation through Arnav's love for Khushi! Simply Amazing!!! As long as Khushi is beside him, ASR/Arnav will never be alone. His heart knows this, and his heart understands this.

Love is after all - Home.

And She was 'home' with him today and that is why he placed a hint of his situation willingly and trustingly with her and only with her.

ASR may be alone when he is with family, and they may treat him the way he wants to be treated, but it is not the same with Khushi. He is alone when Khushi is not there with him, he is at distant from himself when Khushi is not there in his life because he feels a human being while being with her as she treats him the way he 'needs' to be treated by fulfilling his needs .

Oh yeah, Khushi completes him. He said it later, that till she entered his life he was just breathing but when she came to her life he learnt to live his life.

ASR or Arnav, Shaitan or Rajkumar ... Khushi has accepted him the way he is because she knows deep down, that the two personalities are one both are bridged by Love. Love that makes him a Shaitan, Love that makes him a Rajkumar.

The two banks of a River which were joined by the bridge of love but none of them wanted to cross it by embracing it in the temple during bandagement but Today that lost love in the middle of that bridge has reached Home...

She is his..."tab se..."...She holds him tightly one more time and let the smile reaching his heart to be at content to know that She is at peace...She walks away from the family...crossing all the edgy corners of "Fadak..." yes it mattered all along...His submitted himself to her a long time ago and she knew it but today a woman is meeting with her needs ...her need of acceptance ..her need of validation...She is Home...

"I love u dammit and hum bhi aapse I love u dammit will join later...forcefully [My POV]

She knows "kuch to Bura huwa hai aapke saath"...he is in trouble otherwise..."wo sab theek chalet aise kaise..."Yes she knows...Message has been delivered ...from heart to heart...

Originally posted by: indi52

faiqa,

thanks for what you say of the "in the rain" vm... hot and steamy, huh? you know they just look at each other and a fire starts somewhere... so happy you are watching again and again... me honoured. inebriation in him at the thought of her... i was watching 301 just now, a bit... you know where he flings coffee on her and she throws tea at him... then he grabs her and wants to kiss her... beautiful dialogues and hot steamy stuff there... but what just had me ughshjdjjsing was when hp rudely interrupts, a) asr jerks khushi back into his arms and keeps on holding her thrusting her face into his chest practically and b) the thick desire clouded voice in which he says tell them we're coming... aaargh. the sexiness of these two and with full clothes on, no kissing touching nothing... please save me...

Originally posted by: aarwen

Episode 264

A single bright blinding light bulb swung from the ceiling. His eyes were closed as he lay slumped across the chair he had been bound too. ASR. Even now in this state I feel the energy that radiates from him. Rocky the kidnapper with the scorpion conveniently tattooed on his hand walks in. I just realized that the scorpion could be a clever connection to our very own resident scorpion at Raizada mansion. Yes it took me so long to realize this connection... I can see how this rocky could have been thought of as having a bigger more important role to play out in the larger scheme of things. The actor does have some screen presence. Even the mild looking spectacled thug with the gun who cornered khushi the night before had a sinister quality to him. Shyam, himself had a convincing mask of the pleasant soft spoken respectable middle class man. Turned out he was a deranged amoral villanous sorry excuse for a man.

His hands fidget . ASR can never be completely helpless can he? Life decided his parents would be snatched away from him, his sister and he would be throw on the streets. He created India's leading fashion house in answer. Bought back his ancestral haveli only to have it demolished. Life decided to show him his love had broken his heart and threatened to break his di's marriage, he decided to make that very girl, whom he had given his heart to, his wife. You can tie him but what you can't do is break his spirits.

The steely eyed glint in his eyes as he challenged rocky, who soon won't even know what or rather who hit him. Unflinching stare, ASR music playing, a true fighter is this man. Even now extremely resourceful and intelligent. The actor intelligent enough to make the frayed ropes look believable.

In fact when this whole kidnapping business seemed to dull my brain. When nothing felt truely convincing, when the urgency failed to get through when long minutes of chasing, hiding, sneaking, pleading of everyone hardly got the tension across it was one scene with this man who did not speak a single word, but managed to make me not only belief he was facing a deadly situation, but also have faith that he had the will and the wit to get himself out of it.

No unnecessary yelling at his captors, no threatening out loud, a single silent look is enough to tell you they will pay hell. It was never only with his family or khushi that ASR was memorable, but how he faced and conquered the world while still inherently loving that also has me obsessing over this make belief character.

Khushi sort of handled Shyam well when she followed him. Very next day she is in the red dress and I know they are destined to be reunited today. ASR has opened the ropes. Freed himself. He doesn't know yet what happens next, but we do. A treat is in store for us as Khushi and Arnav meet again. I keep forgetting the separation isn't all that long, somehow it feels like eons have passed since I have seen him to my hearts content. And if I mere viewer of the show feel this way imagine how khushi must feel away from her Arnavji... It's time for them to meet again.. see you there..

Originally posted by: indi52

episode 264

his hands tied behind back move. he looks like he is gone... but i have seen those hands. his abductors speak among themselves as he sits seemingly unconscious. suddenly the eyes open. rocky walks in... what's in asr's eyes. rocky answers his phone leaving him with special diabetes dawai... little eye movements... i feel alive.

eyelids go up just a tad and a gaze is fixed on the back of the kidnapper. rocky looks at asr and leaves. camera comes close and pans around. then it comes smoothly in, changing the feel of the whole scene, its the asr signature tune. a slight zany tilt to camera...

he works on the ropes, he has managed to cut them using some mysterious thing... i don't care what... look at that jawline. and that gussa in every cell look. 😆 me too..who cares..

he's free... yes. didn't say a word... took the whole episode.

as i watched this powerful, concentrated performance of barun as asr, questions about the man himself rose in my mind.

wanted to just mull over something.

why asr said what he said. i have thoughts running in my head for a while.

on asia sat too i think his "khushi, i love you" was aired recently. i keep reading that he said what he did because of the uncertainty of the hour, perhaps because he knows he is close to death. i keep thinking, yes that, but really there was more and something very asr to it.

if i go back to the fight on the terrace and then the bridge and then the aftermath of it... there are two people greatly suffering. this is something abhorrent to him, having to actually speak of that judgment shattering, completely destructive scene on the terrace, that chap gaya hai dimag mein, mit nahin sakta moment that has torn him apart...

yet maybe that fight had to happen if this "khushi, i love you" had to be reached.

the bitterness coursing through him but bottled up more than a month had to erupt and flow out... free up a little space within. so he could think a bit more clearly, feel something.

for too long his being has been in the grip of a sadness, a betrayal that has created a break between him and life... it has untethered him from joy and happiness, sometimes from almost a sense of life itself. this world means nothing to him... as he tells his sister a couple of times... everything is about her. meri duniya toh aap ho.

he tries to focus every ounce of energy on creating an impregnable fortress of power and money that no one can destroy ever and throw their lives into free fall again.

arrogant and brusque he might seem, but as his sister notes, his eyes speak of someone else within, the one he hides from everyone. it is not easy being asr, but he is not looking for anyone's pity... or even understanding.

most of all, he is not asking for any personal happiness.

just the space to be who he is, live his own life.

and in the midst of this, one fine evening a girl falls into his arms. somehow from the word go the interaction is heightened... he tries to walk away from her... but that is not to happen... and things keep occurring till we arrive at that moment when he connects his heartbeat to her name...

"khushi..."

as soon as he realises what it is he is feeling, he does something absolutely like him. he sets out to pursue the matter. he makes sure he is the one going to khushi's house with things the next morning and oh that smile on his face when he sees her...

he is a guy who acts...when he realises something. not one to tarry at at all. a man of action.

and so, post terrace he acts again... this time racked with pain but yet unable to throw away that feeling he has for her. the feeling lodges itself in him now in the guise of hate... you can call an emotion anything... but it is what it is.

he forces her to marry him... he hurts her. but he can't sustain that for too long... that feeling has a way of staying alive, showing...

but at the same time the "chot" he can't speak of grows and chokes him. a difficult enough chot it would have been anyway, but how much more unbearable it is for one who had lived in pain for so long, who had never believed there could be happiness for him... a fairly austere grey brown black white world at a personal level and he is content with working hard and seeing his sister happy... but now he had dared to hope for happiness... for himself. oh maybe that's why he slowed down and prolonged the anticipation a bit, enjoying the delicious, delicate, heady feeling...

but before anything could happen, within less than a day in fact, it was all taken and twisted to something terrible.

how could he speak of this thing? and yet circumstances propelled him to the point where he did.

post which, he was almost beside himself with pain as was she. they both mean just too much to each other. so much that when he thinks she is a loose woman he must bridle her to him and when she hears what he thinks of her she can only think of his pain and how he must not think so badly of her... because baat aapki hai...

they spend a couple of really difficult days. and the one night together... he insists she sleep in the room, on the bed, and no arguments. he will not explain anything to her, he won't listen to her but he can't bear her rearranging his room again and taking all signs of herself away.

again in that action taking way of his, he is leaving for london in the midst of all this... perhaps he really can't bear the turmoil within. persistently, he is reminded of a khushi with joy in her, her usual sanka, her madness, he hates to see her down and listless.

then the airport scene. he smiles almost when he sees her... then tries to walk away, but can't... shayad mera dil tumhe pukarta hai?

twice he returns... and finally when nothing works he leaves, but before that he says perhaps kahin na kahin he had hoped she would be able to prove her innocence. he had wanted her to... that in itself is a huge thing for asr to say.

he was feeling churned and helpless in his own way maybe...

as he walked away from her and that air of finality all around... in that slow long walk through the airport his emotions didn't settle, he in a way couldn't walk away from his feelings... and then a simple question, kyun mujhe khushi se door jaane mein itni taqleef ho rahi hai... words to that affect. why is it hurting me so much to leave khushi and go away.

i think he stopped then... and began to turn around.

the precise moment when he was waylaid...

why do i get the feeling, asr had worked out a little conundrum there, he had realised that no matter what... even if she could not prove her innocence, he loved her.

and being asr, maybe he needed to act on that.

the phone call did not materialise at his bidding. circumstances forced shyam to get him to make a call to the family and reassure all. and maybe he decided somewhere that he would take the opportunity to tell her what he was now ready to.

the "khushi, i love you" was as much a result of that thing in asr to act as it is due to the spectre of mortality staring at him down a revolver's barrel. had he in fact reached london safe and sound, i have a feeling he'd still have found the quickest way to let her know he loved her.

because as he said much later to her, that is all that matters... that has matlab... that he loves her, dammit.

somehow i can't bring myself to believe had he not been kidnapped, he would have hung around doing sundry things while fully realising, why leaving khushi was giving his so much taqleef.

what he succumbed and submitted to was a feeling... his heart over his head.

and he reached out to her and in his way said that baat aapki hai had registered, that he was okay, he was fine, she must not cry... it was somehow all about her and his feelings for her, about reaching her, perhaps the way she had been trying to reach him... and he wanted to tell her what he had so longed to tell her once, now he was not going to let anything stop him, now that he knew even betrayal did not matter, only this did. yes, in all of this, rocky's swagger was useful but was it instrumental?

i may be quite unclear... but somehow an asr who speaks of his love only because he may not see her again and this could be it, does not sit well with me. not this man.

the rest of the episode had khushi taking risks and mami loving nephew and strategising. interestingly they showed a silhouette of shyam much like the one used in the teej "reveal" sequence. maybe this was another reveal of another face of shyam... i wondered if he had planned on khushi following him... he had noticed she was not quite herself... maybe she had guessed something... shyam wanted to get her off his back perhaps. but i am not sure really. khushi showed she had presence of mind when she went into offence is the best defence mode... and there was something ridiculous yet sinister in seeing a man who looked like a boring but harmless middle school geography teacher with a gun. Oh I wrote of that man too.

but really, nothing really cut any ice with me, other than two hands moving determinedly, freeing themselves.

Originally posted by: aarwen

Episode 264

A single bright blinding light bulb swung from the ceiling. i liked that bulb a lot... added so much to the setting, the sense of a threatening, off key atmosphere, as did the hum drum warehose feeling of the place, a feeling of middle of nowhere, you could be on ahighway soemwhere no idea which contnent and barren earth all around.

His eyes were closed as he lay slumped across the chair he had been bound too. ASR. Even now in this state I feel the energy that radiates from him. hamesha and that's why this actor matters. Rocky the kidnapper with the scorpion conveniently tattooed on his hand walks in. I just realized that the scorpion could be a clever connection to our very own resident scorpion at Raizada mansion. nice connection. Yes it took me so long to realize this connection... I can see how this rocky could have been thought of as having a bigger more important role to play out in the larger scheme of things. The actor does have some screen presence. Even the mild looking spectacled thug with the gun who cornered khushi the night before had a sinister quality to him. Shyam, himself had a convincing mask of the pleasant soft spoken respectable middle class man. yeah, rocky did have a look and the geography teacher might have been used more dramatically... maybe plot kept changing radically during this track... rocky was presented with a certain flair, that he would be a guy who'd say washte ho jayga and act sick but not really smart... i didn't think... something very wasted it feels like in the kidnap opportunity, a story with immense possibilities and then just thrown.Turned out he was a deranged amoral villanous sorry excuse for a man.

His hands fidget . ufff. ASR can never be completely helpless can he? never... the mind is ticking, heh glare is in place... and if there is a sudden rise of fear, he quells it with his gussa, in fact i don't think he feels fear, more anger, a ferocious one at that... these cretins... but once in a way a sliver of vulnerability absolutely exploding the moment and getting the many emotional nuances of such a situation perfectly.

Life decided his parents would be snatched away from him, his sister and he would be throw on the streets. He created India's leading fashion house in answer. Bought back his ancestral haveli only to have it demolished. Life decided to show him his love had broken his heart and threatened to break his di's marriage, he decided to make that very girl, whom he had given his heart to, his wife. You can tie him but what you can't do is break his spirits. he presents to me the spirit in a human that says you can't do me in... a sense of what indomitable means is there in this tv character. i always feel there is lots one can learn from thsi attitude. plenty. and yet he is not sweet and politically correct, often out of control... ah what a piece of work is man..

The steely eyed glint in his eyes as he challenged rocky, who soon won't even know what or rather who hit him. Unflinching stare, ASR music playing, a true fighter is this man. Even now extremely resourceful and intelligent. The actor intelligent enough to make the frayed ropes look believable. 👏 👏

In fact when this whole kidnapping business seemed to dull my brain. When nothing felt truely convincing, when the urgency failed to get through when long minutes of chasing, hiding, sneaking, pleading of everyone hardly got the tension across it was one scene with this man who did not speak a single word, but managed to make me not only belief he was facing a deadly situation, but also have faith that he had the will and the wit to get himself out of it. this was the only scene in the episode really even for me. convinced me every time that this was happening. and yes, very very intelligent actor. at that tiem doing two shoots. maybe the other was energizing him and he was sparkling within... i think that he brought to the acting here too... i so hope mamr releases before hsi bday thsi year. for him more than anything else.

No unnecessary yelling at his captors, no threatening out loud, a single silent look is enough to tell you they will pay hell. It was never only with his family or khushi that ASR was memorable, but how he faced and conquered the world while still inherently loving that also has me obsessing over this make belief character.

Khushi sort of handled Shyam well when she followed him. Very next day she is in the red dress and I know they are destined to be reunited today. ASR has opened the ropes. Freed himself. He doesn't know yet what happens next, but we do. A treat is in store for us as Khushi and Arnav meet again. I keep forgetting the separation isn't all that long, somehow it feels like eons have passed since I have seen him to my hearts content. And if I mere viewer of the show feel this way imagine how khushi must feel away from her Arnavji... It's time for them to meet again.. see you there..