palaayan thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#1
Such a melancholic piece Delilah,
The bitter loss of everything you hold dear, the chances of life you never got to take, as you define it, the cheat that life plays in denying you the chance to live and love and make a memory with those you cherish. Depression is an all consuming illness, how do you convice a person broken beyond recognition that life can still be worth living when the very person who breathed life into their soul has been taken away?
Another beautiful piece my little gem :)
Manreet xoxo
Edited by manreet_gill - 11 years ago

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greenMoss thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#2
This was cynical, intense, a bit dark and mostly an elegy of a broken dream, shattered hopes.

Darkness.
It was like a second protagonist of this story.
Darkness is the place where she wanted to throw herself in. Darkness provided her with the calming warmth like her mother and it was as soundless as her father.
Darkness was the place where her child must have gone.
And finally, Darkness is the only entity which accepted her the way she was, when even her mind deserted her.

You never mentioned the names of the "she" and "he" in the whole story. My adoration for the character of Arnav is too sacred to imagine him as the "he" of this story. The "he" is clearly the anti-hero here. So I won't think "him" to be Arnav.

The "she" of the story doesn't come off as a strong character. In her crisis, she had conveniently glorified Darkness as her friend. Darkness, like a faithful friend, embraced her when even her mind abandoned her. But I wish she had risen from her ashes ("tattered dignity") like a phoenix.

The loss of the child was indeed sad. It was not only a loss of life but a loss of her dreams.

The closing paragraphs were cathartic for her.
Japonica thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#3
That was a very powerful piece of writing about a void in the self making the self choose the ultimate void.
The contast between the warm, bright colours of the sky with the darkness in her and the darkness she finally chooses was a brilliant touch!


Edited by Japonica - 11 years ago
-Catharsis thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#4
You are the queen of all styles. Sacchi. Jealous of your talent delilah 😳
Edited by -Catharsis - 11 years ago
meera30 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#5
What do you do when darkness is the only answer
When light refuses to shine as brightly as it always had
Choose, it says but was there ever really choice?
Jump, it beckons and you walk towards the voice
Till it becomes you
And you are finally free


PS: I blame you for this torture I am inflicting on everyone who reads it
-Chudel- thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: meera30

What do you do when darkness is the only answer

When light refuses to shine as brightly as it always had
Choose, it says but was there ever really choice?
Jump, it beckons and you walk towards the voice
Till it becomes you
And you are finally free


PS: I blame you for this torture I am inflicting on everyone who reads it



Do you know that handful of your words can express
more than what my doggerel even hopes to achieve?
Cause all I want to do is to hold your words in my fist,
and if this is torture, then I am a masochist!

ps- I blame you too for this. We're like politicians in this vicious circle of passing the buck!😆
Edited by -Delilah- - 11 years ago
Anupama. thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#7
It made me hold my breath. Such a powerful and meloncholic piece, Dellu! Only you can write with such an impact.
chavvi16 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#8
ahhh loosing not only the child but the love
thats enough to send you to darkness
and there is nothing to hold you back you cant help but want to jump to that black hole

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