Blast from the Past Thread #17, pg 72, epi 188 - Page 69

Originally posted by: indi52

episode 188

"tum mama banne wale ho."

and a moment arrived in a man's life that was really the beast. the play of life, the twist of fate, the trial by hell fire. till such a moment comes in one's life it's perhaps impossible to know the utter helplessness trapped in a tiny spec of time. sometimes in just one sentence of about five words. a sentence that once would have made you ecstatic. such is the irony of life. the writers crafted a perfect moment for things to fall apart.

arnav singh raizada is no fool. he hears his sister utter the words and he knows what it means. the tympani echo and sound plunges away. he says not a word, but his face says it all, the night reaches its darkest instant.

interestingly the writers get anjali to say the words that would have maximum impact on a personality like astr's, one that thrives on protecting those he loves, on taking responsibility. she does not say, "main maa banne wali hoon," i am going to be a mother... "chhotey, hamare yahan ek chhota sa nanha sa mehman aane wala hai," chhote, we're going to have a small, tiny little guest... no, she says "you will be an uncle." being the man he is, the responsibility suggested in that statement will be grasped and owned... he will the child's uncle, he will protect. Wow this I never did think of the actual words Anajali used.. Thank you for pointing this out..

on the day he thought he'd be happy, perhaps the happiest ever, he first thought his sister was dead and then found she'd had a bad accident, rattled by this, he decided not to waste time but go and tell khsuhi what he'd been meaning to tell her. and in that state of mind, fragile, tremulous, full of love and hope, he saw the woman he loved in another's arm... the arms of a man he trusted, and whom his sister loved to distraction. then he watched the girl who made his heart beat faster, tell his brother in law to leave his beloved sister. and finally as if that were not enough, a news that would have filled him with joy, the arrival at last of a new member in their family, the first birth after the death of his parents, di's first child, his first niece or nephew... that news came and the night closed in completely on him.

what is a man to do in a situation like this?

once upon a time i used to think such things don't happen, time has taught me they do. people do find themselves in the grapple of such moments. every situation comes with its specifics... beyoond should have, ought to have, right, wrong, etc. our many loves and duties ask difficult and demanding questions of us, our world breaks into pieces, yet we have to make choices, even when we know not a single option would yield happiness or joy. even when we are betrayed and torn, and aching, and needing succour, we would have to do our duty and choose a path. Don't mind if I take this paragraph and quote it to everyone I meet for days to come!

it was a geeta moment really in his life. he knew he'd have to wage war against his own, he perhaps collapsed and thought, i can't do this... but then he is the warrior, it is his duty to fight the war not ask questions, never give up. and so arjuna picked up his gandiva and took aim. at his own heart and the one he loved as his own. and s

uch is the tyranny of the hour, even then he couldn't achieve what he hoped to. You are breaking my heart into tiny pieces..

shyam walked in... asr turned and looked at him and we knew he knew that there was nothing he could do about shyam any more, not if di's happiness and health had to be kept intact...

just a moment and its dynamics.

that was all.

with "tum mamma banne wale ho" everything changed everything.

shyam fretted... not aware of the wondrous reprieve life had planed for me.

"r..r..rani sahiba!"

in a smartly written dialogue which seemed to be talking of his misdemeanours but was actually about di's longing for a child, he was told of the baby.

and shyam made the connection... he understood what this baby meant.

she said there's no one more important than these two people in her life, they were her mainstays. in asr's life too, two people were the most important. again the irony, he believed one of them was false and immoral which she wasn't. and di believed her husband was honest and loving and the best husband in the world, which he wasn't. that sense of reflections which we see all the time in ipk.

she called him her younger brother, yet his role was always that of the elder one. ever since 14... the protector of a challenged elder sister, he acted as the older one and made sure everything worked. people who have gone through turbulence at a young age and are of the responsible sort of mental makeup, they would have perhaps undestood his state of mind, his thought process... his need to set things right.

years ago, like that snap of a pearl dori, there had been a gun shot... and their lives like those pearls had scattered... bikhar gaya.

a young boy has been trying ever since to put the pearls back on the string, bring life back to happiness, to order.

as his sister rested her head on his shoulder he let shyam know with a look this was not over... asr was not giving up. both his arms went around her cradling her, shyam mocked, not knowing to what extent his brother in law could go.

and when shyam showed his hypocritical love to anjali, asr couldn't bring himself to look at the scene.

he left.

a white suv in the night... his trusted steed, his space, his escape vehicle. asr had to go find his head again. his heart was not perhaps to be found tonight. the car speeded down streets and skidded to a halt. screech of tyres, the night and its sounds... 👏

a low angle shot tilted up, red rimmed eyes, a loss of control on the face, hands gripping steering wheel, a voice in his head, arnav singh raizada struggled with the treachery of life.

"chhotey tum... mama... banne wale ho..." a fabulously conceived and crafted scene started. he saw his jeeja ji smiling, knowing the game had turned... a dangerous man dominated his sister's life yet nothing could be done now.

"humey sabse zyada pyaar karne wale hamare pati..." the husband who loves me the most, said his gullible sister.

"bataiye apni di ko..." tell your sister, the monster taunted.

a layered cascade of voices raced through his mind, building up the torment, the sense of impending doom. almost suffocating, he jerked out of the car. embers flew in the night. the surroundings, nature, machine, everything reflected his turmoil, a poetic rendition of a state of mind.

the voices in his head went on, "aapki jagah hamare pyairon mein nahin yahan hai..." your place is not at my feet, it's by my heart, a snake cast a spell on his sister.

then came the voice that possibly hurt him the most... khushi's. "agar aap ke liye yeh rishta koi maine nahin rakhta toh aap yeh shadi tod kyun nahin dete?" if this relationship means nothing to you, then why don't you break this marriage?

memories flashed... all painful. churning roiling crazy making.

khushi is in shyam's arms, "chhap gaya hai"... khushi ji is mine, my everything... he flinched as the words hit him hard again and again. each word a killer a lethal weapon...

yet he fought back, he had to, he had no choice.

a hundred memories and among them, the most poignant one, he buries his face in his sister's lap and weeps... don't leave me like ma, di.

and the nightmare returned at the thought of ma... everything always went back to her. sometimes it does.

he heard the scream of the 14 year old. maaa. and the scream bridged time and came out here rending the night...

a single solitary scream. actually, a majestic roar. by one who will not give in. perhaps he invoked his mother and asked her for strength... for stoic determination.

maaa.

leaning against a heartless machine, possibly the only thing he could trust and hold onto now, he let his insides roar out against it all... the injustice, the pain...

and then maybe maa did send help, a reset button seemed to be pressed somewhere, and the memories that were new and so very precious and beautiful came.

he was hugging khushi in the rain... rabba vey in its most heart rending tones brought her back to him. Indi di you are ripping my heart out 😭

in a store room one hot sunday afternoon he was lying on her...

there was scarcely any anger now, only unbearable pain. he held his car and fell against it, as though seeking a place of comfort to cry his heart out... Oh what can we do to help him? truthfully am not a fan of men crying.. want them to always be the strong one 😳.. but here even in the tears there is no weakness.. there is heartbreak and pain and fatigue maybe of bearing all that he has borne for so long.. finally finding respite all to be brutally snatched away from him.. the expressions are so pure

through the tears, the pictures flashed.

he was holding her as he took off the fairy lights.

he cried, he had felt his heart beat for a girl called khushi... happiness... his sunshine. in the dark of the night he began to lose her.

in a guest house where he'd called her name the first time, he held her, both angry, both so aware of the other.

she was turning back toward him after he said sorry.

he was putting on her payal...

in a lucid string came her thoughts. no screaming shouting turmoil nothing. just on a simple rabba vey, thoughts of the girl his heart did yearn for, who gave him sukoon, without whom he didn't want to live, his heartbeat told him that. Boo hoo that sad high pitched rabba vee.. like a wail into the skies..

there was no confusion, just his emotion, full, overflowing, beautiful...

and he was going to kiss her, that memory of convulsive yearning which came again and again, to him and to her.

at last the fight left him, the sadness, the feeling of abandonment, of failure seemed to take over, he bagan to slide down toward the ground... earth.

Barun has amazing body language. Every stance is camera friendly. Sometimes languid ..sometimes fluid.. always flawless..

mother earth.

memories of maa as he sat on firm firm earth, his world now completely without moorings. is earth a symbol for mother here? i feel it is. he is seeking a place that is rock solid, comforting that will make him feel safe.

how would he return to himself again, how would he cope? and true to character, what called out to him most... his immediate responsibility... the child... di... chhotey tum mama banne wale ho.

he put his head down on his arms as he heard shyam's rant about khsuhi...

that was asr on the ground, head down, bereft... but was he defeated?

again the cacophony the many voices... the destructive moments.

at last on the sounds shyam and khushi's betrayal... he raised his had.

eyes red rimmed.

asr may have been tricked by the darkness, but the director and barun licked the night. apparently this whole sequence was shot in very little time. hardly any takes. maybe the constraints brought out the best in all who were involved. as for me the shot of asr crying helplessly, just did me in. body language, turn of head, the defiant flinching and pacing... all of it was asr, not just any man, in agony, in tears. and if this is what barun does with glycerine tears maybe it's a good thing he can't really cry. Unbelievable .. how did he do it di? Am I completely insane when i say I don't remember ever seeing such a display of emotions without any vocal dialogues..

episode ended crowded around happiness, while khsuhi and asr moved relentlessly toward a terrible decision. a highly dramatic episode structure: extreme happiness contrasted with destruction and a dying of spirit. khushi heard about the child. and decided yet again not to disclose anything about shyam. why she felt this might make things alright, even after knowing shyam for what he is. why she didn't anyway talk to arnav sigh raizada whom she loved and who loved her... will remain a mystery. but in the turbulence of emotions, we humans make mistakes. many would be made on this valentine's day. she looks lovely in her dress, a bit dramatic, but given what's on its way... I thought she looked very beautiful in this dress.. something fragile and out of this world..

a thought:

there seems to be a pondering and a point of view on action and intention in ipk on two of the toughest situations presented.

first khushi. she is tested sorely by the question of shyam's duplicit. in a simpler situation, she could have just gone and revealed it to the raizadas, but here too the demands of many loves and what one owes to them and of duty came up. truth took a beating. khushi decided to keep quiet... not once or twice but again and again, including this very night. but did that hiding of the truth finally achieve what she had set out to achieve?


and asr. in the chaos of the hour, did he perhaps think of the fruit of his action more than the action, and maybe that's where he committed his error? he wanted to save his di's child, for which he took a step that was not just. did life tell him with the death of the unborn baby, that we humans ultimately are answerable for our actions?

what he had set out to do he failed to achieve. as did khushi. was this an indication of the philosophy of ipk? was there a moral: it doesn't matter what your intentions are... if the action is not right, you will pay a heavy price for it and not achieve what you'd set out to?

the killing of the baby was a thing i could never face or stomach in ipk. it filled me with rage. and this aspect of action and intention was not pondered, but it still come s up as a question in my mind, i just wanted to share.

Originally posted by: indi52

episode 187

it's "bahut saare mombatti ka din", valentine's day.

"do dilon ke meeting ka din, couples ka din... mombatti ka din..." a day for two hearts to meet, a day for couples... a day of candles, says the innocent and pure nand kishore, always the friend, the facilitator of heart related matters; krishna's namesake of course had to remind us which day it was.

payal corrects, "mohabbat ka din."

it was indeed a day of mohabbat. the word mohabbat comes from the arabic root "hab" i think, which means heart. and today the heart would be tried. sorely. mercilessly. terrifyingly.

1. the battle intensifies

episode opened on the staccato beat of drums... a sense of impending catastrophe, ominous. two men faced each other. looked like it would be a fight to the death. from 186, a feeling of chakravyuh and the honourable warrior is now in it... no way out. yet he will fight.

from years ago, an epic hero came to mind, beowulf... and the monster he took on with bare hands, the hideous and rapacious grendel...

loved the metaphor.

who would live, who would survive, who would bear the cost of this horrific battle.

through gritted teeth and ripping crazy pain, asr said, "meri di ne iss ghar mein aap ko itni izzat di... itni izzat di... aapne aur khushine milkar jo hamare saath dhoka kiya hai, usske liye main aapko..."

in this house my di gave you so much respect, khushi and you have together deceived us, for which i shall...

the shape shifting monster jeered, "kam se kam shabd toh dhang ke istemal kijiye na, arnav, ji." at least use proper words, arnav ji.

a feeling of a pressure cooker about to explode.

"jise aap dhoka kah rahe hain... woh hamara pyaar hai khushi ji ke liye." what you call deceipt is in fact my love, for khushi.

as a whole house full of people went about happily organising a joyous occasion; singing, dancing, reveling, dressing up, shouting, rushing around... a man's entire world fell apart.

no one to hear the tearing of his heart, the shredding of his emotions, the dying of his happiness.

really it was a horrible nightmare for him.

at 14 he was alone, at 27, why should it be any different?

a pattern repeated itself. that night too there was a wedding on, and he was by himself he'd heard his father was untrue to his mother. tonight it was rubbed in his face that the only man he had trusted after his father's betrayal... his beloved jeeja ji, who he believed was devoted to his sister, was in fact also just a common, low down cheat. and as if that were not enough, this time life played a more devastating game, the one the monster cheated with was the girl who made his heart beat faster, without whom his very breath might stop. no exaggeration, exactly as his di had said.

shyam used the word pyaar, love... yet, all he really felt for khushi was a four letter word: lust.

asr is stricken to hear his brother in law say that word for a woman other than his sister. and also his heart lurches with pain when he hears another man say that word in connection with khushi. his tender, newly identified sensations of love, that made him flirt, and play, and smile, after so many years, all they had was a day to frolic.

and then this.

the game was set so well... the conflict has almost an ancient eternal design... archetypal. a larger than life, passionate, courageous, straight forward, honest man with a fragile heart and a great capacity for love, tripped up by a shallow, uncouth creature, a product of dark slithering things, who knows neither love nor courage nor the straight and the narrow.

wonderful description of Arnav and Shyam's character.

and yet it is that in life again and again, such creatures will get the better of the heroes among us.

"khushi ji hamari zindagi ban chuki hai, hamara pagalpan, hamara diwanapan, hamara sab kuch..."

khushi ji has become my life, my madness, my craze, my everything, said a ranting shyam, out to do maximum damage.

asr couldn't bear this, his eyes closed... the body blows that had started on a terrace, resumed; hitting target every time.

"aur ab hum dono ke beech sirf ek rukawat hai... raanisahiba!" and now between us there's but one obstacle, raanisahiba.

on that last word, the game took a turn... in a mercurial instant, the lover was overshadowed by the brother. his primary responsibility, his dear beloved sister, he would let nothing, nothing hurt her. every year on rakhi he made that promise to her, the only religious tradition that had meaning for him... like a soldier he has disciplined himself to be her protector.👏

the brother turned around , his instinct to defend aroused... fully armed, said his eyes.

shyam is shameless, reckless, high on some belief that he is going to win this one... he declares he never loved anjali...

heartbreaking to watch an innocent strong man feel the smite of deceit... a thing he knows nothing of. nothing. he has his dad's gussa maybe, but none of his galat.

which is why he is so unprepared for this low down skirmish, he fights fair, head held high. in fact, he can even come across as arrogant in his refusal to bow down.

way back when we first met him, a slap on moolrajani's's face... no, two slaps, but give him a crore of rupees for each slap... and then too, he had fought because his mother was mentioned in a derogatory fashion.

two opposites are arrayed here against each other... the innocent versus the clouded, the murky, the unclean.

as khushi runs around looking for asr, the battle rages behind closed doors. shyam threatens, he goads, he uses his wife as his all powerful weapon. how will you tell your di, what would it do to her, would she believe you?

this war is going nuclear clearly.

when hp comes to call them just as asr is ready to beat the knave up, he mocks, "arre wah, toh jalsa shuru!" wonderful, now starts the entertainment... hysterical and frenzied.

in contrast, the slow smooth deliberate glide of asr's irises and their steel like glint... his jawline hardening. it sure chilled shyam's innards and entrails. which is why even though he feigned a triumphant exit, he did look back to check whether he had succeeded or not and was later found fretting and worrying for his safety.

2. the proxy lovers

elsewhere, akash actually tried to get rid of nk and wrangle a lovey dovey chat with his payal ji. maybe there's some hope for this boy i thought, even though i knew where that tale went. i heard akash tell payal "main aapse bahut pyaar karta hoon aur hamesha karta rahunga..." i love you a lot and will do so forever.

just the words asr had hoped to say.

reminded me of an evening far away when asr had looked at stars and for the first time allowed anyone into his tightly closed inner world of maa and all its pain... and parallel to this akash had set up a meeting with payal in the park, an awkward but heartfelt attempt to tell payal of hsi love. that evening too it had seemed as though the episode design used akash and payal to hint at what asr and khushi would say to each other some day.

akash's key words that night: "aisa lagta hai ki uske bina jee nahin paayenge... jaise main nahin jee paaoonga apke bina... payalji, mujhe aapse pyaar ho gaya." one day asr would say exactly that to khushi... "main tumhare bina jee naheen paaoonga... promise me, you'll never leave me."

today again payal and akash said things that the two loversw ere meant to say to each other...

"aaj ka din bahut accha hai..." today is a very good day. yes, it would have been, it might have been.

"hum bhi aap se bahut pyaar karte hain," i too love you a lot, said payal... it will be a while before khushi finally says it.

yet another night of wedding, deception and tragedy ticked away.

3. the night plays a trick again.

he came to the head of the stairs looking for his di, khushi saw him, he didn't see her... she was expectant, happy she'd found him at last, ready to tell him everything, though i did feel khushi might have been a bit more frantic than she was, given the situation.

she started walking to him, light, floaty, still feeling his flirt and love, still hoping to hear what he had to say, wanting to reach him.

he saw her... a falling away of sound, a gust of wind, and a crash of disaster.

she stood there smiling at him tentatively, completely unaware that their world has been turned upside down.

he looked back at her, nostrils flaring, his gussa coming in to protect a very fragile heart. two loves battled in him... the one he had trained himself to take care of... he will protect.

the other... what will he do with the other?

a dark threatening air is building, storm gathers, you can feel its rumble... no matter how light and sweet nk, akash, and payal are.

memories cut through him sharply... how much he'd desired her, wanted her... he had yearned to to kiss her... he had held her in his arms and danced with her telling her so much, he'd felt jolted when he thought he'd lost her.

what if i lost you?

he'd kissed her.

he seethed as he remembered and anger mixed with intense pain, almost injury, gathered in his eyes.

she smiled...

she clutched her hands, she had to tell him.

but he just looked ... and remembered her in another man's arms.

and her "agar aap ke liye... chor di jiye anjali ji ko!" leave anjali ji!

his hands clenched into a tight fist. all the anger and angst and fury there.

but in front of a hall full of people, he will not create chaos... it is akash's wedding... he cares about his family too much... a sense of occasion.

he came down the familiar steps, gaze fixed on her face... when he reached her, she didn't notice his hard expression, "arnav ji, hum aap hi ko dhoond rahe the" said she. i was looking for you.

"hume aap se kuch baat karni thi..." i wanted to speak to you about something, she continued. he walked toward her, perhaps wanting to haul her to a quiet place an give her hell, but di's voice came in the way... if this conversation had happened before he met di...

well, again life played a complex game. he did not get a chance to speak to khushi. i often asked myself why he didn't come to her, even if to accuse and berate... but now i realise, he did. it was not to be.

If he would've asked her then how the drama would've created, how the MU would've happened! And how hate would've taken over love! After all this is fiction not real. If something would've happened in real life, he would've come straight to her and asked her about shyam.

4. and again a twist.

he saw his di... his entire thought stream turned. he ignored khushi's call and walks away...

"di, mujhe aap se kuch baat karni hai!" di , i need to talk to you.

holding his sister's hands in both of his, that one gesture saying more than words ever can, he struggled.

then he turned away... alas, this time to speak the truth.

"di, jeeja ji aap ko dhoka de rahe hai... he's cheating on you" he blurted out and hurtled into the words he so hated saying.

this is so asr... up front, honest, guile free about certain things. he knew it would hurt his sister, but his instinct possibly said she would be able to handle it... and plus he would not want her to be kept in the dark about such a sick thing. so he went to tell her... shyam's gambit failed. but the night was out to trick him.

one other thing... this same man, however, could not bring himself to tell khushi why he hated her, why he was so mad at her...nothing. that too was so asr, to even say such a thing to her would kill him, he just couldn't... he loved her too too deep inside him already... the only happiness he'd ever asked for himself... the girl who felt like sunshine, who took the cold icy darkness away from his life. who he wanted to flirt with and have fun with and love and say "faraq padta hai" to. sad sad sad.

it was only when she took everything to a ridiculous chaotic extreme... suicide, that finally he just hurled it at her... wanting to hurt her even. with her somehow he always was himself, never a role, not even when he tried.

when he looked back, he saw di had passed out...

di di di di di di di ankhe kholo...

a crescendo of di rose, i thought of his voice calling khushi months later on a cliff top.

open your eyes, he said to her. again the writers hinted perhaps at anjali's gandhari like blindness. she would not see anything negative in her husband. she couldn't, she wouldn't, even with eyes wide open. funny how people can live together for years and never really know the truth about each other... that too happens.

desperately he sought doctor, water, some relief for his dear sister. "di, i am so sorry, di... di, hume maaf kar do... di, aapko batana zaroori tha..." he who hardly spoke kept saying things, asking for forgiveness, reassuring, saying it was necessary to hurt her so he did.

when asr loved there was no limit, no mean streak, no holding back... this seemingly cold man had the greatest capacity to love... and to give. and to suffer for those he loved.

"i... i'm really sorry..." he's almost in tears... beautiful and so very natural in this situation. his heart has taken such a terrible beating on this lovely valentine's day evening.

it had to be this evening, of course, when two hearts would get wrenched and torn asunder... but through it all would hold on a desire, a longing, a light, a mombatti already lit that will have the power to burn all evil and let two hearts unite.

di hasn't heard a thing... and soon will come the news that will change everything... forever and chay mahine ke liye.

Originally posted by: sohara

splendid as usual.

Loved all the lines in bold.

Have some comments in purple.

Your depiction of ASR's emotions, his pain, his feelings of love and his anger was amazing. It was a painful valentine's day for both Arnav and Khushi. where the confession was supposed to happen, instead the heart breaking happened.

One thing I want to say about ASR's love for Anjali. I think anjali was too pampered by Arnav and his family. And because of this she couldn't grow up. Anjali was a very smart and intelligent woman. Sometimes she was manipulative too. If Arnav wouldn't babysit her kaminey pati and wouldn't let her live in profusion, she would've seen her swindler husband's true face. Arnav took the right decision to tell her Shyam's truth. Though I'm sure she wouldn't believe her brother. We can never forget how she didn't trust anybody against her husband. And without caring her brother, she literally blackmailed everybody to bring back her husband. Anyway Arnav's enormous love didn't let him reveal Shyam's deception to her pregnant sister. But I really wish if he would've told it to her. Letting her live with a nefarious guy was not a wise decision too.

Anjali was the most important and beloved person of Arnav. And I'm glad that later, Khushi became the most beloved. I guess more than Anjali.😃